"Am I too dog like?" Damien asked as we walked towards the village. It was another little date for the two. This time they would be staying in the village. At least I wouldn't be stuck tailing the two of them around. It kind of made me a little sick seeing my brother be all mushy. It was cute for awhile, but like most things it's grown dull and overplayed.
"No." I said voice even.
"You didn't even look." He complained. I spared him a side glance. He looked adorable he was the perfect blend of dog and human. His shorts and the T shirt he wore oddly fit in with the look.
"You look good bro, do you want me to do the mother thing? Is that what you're wanting from me? Cause I'll shift and groom you." I threatened.
"No! God no! I just..." He exclaimed and ran a hybrid paw through his tuff of fur on his head.
"Nervous being out in a form you're not used to? Afraid you look like some weirdo?" I finished.
"YEEESSS!" He admitted.
"Don't worry, you'll get used to the idea. It's all in your head." I said.
"I think it's gone past the point of a simple state of mind." He said grabbing his tail as proof.
"So it has." I said breathlessly. "Hey, you got the odds ever in your favor. She loves dogs, dislikes humans!"
"Gasp! I'm a dog! I'm not a human! Hhhhhhhuuuuuuuuuuuuu!" He said dramatically pressing into rather side of his face with his paws. His tail wagged hard behind him and he started running. "SWIGGOTY SWOOTY!"
"You better wrap that booty!" I yelled not quickening my steps after him.
"I don't plan to do thhhaaatt!" He screeched coming to a halt. He looked like he had been struck by lightning.
"Hey, shit almost never goes to plan. You know what The Bloodhound Gang say!" I gave him a grin.
"You know what Daft Punk say?" He shot back.
"I know a lot of what they say, come on now."
"Loovvee...Loovvveee...Make Loovvee." He sang.
"I don't care if you call it making gravy! Just be careful what you research." I scolded.
"Kiiirraaa! I'm only thirteen!" He wined.
"So? Here there are boys your age getting married!" I shot.
"Yeah but... That's them! I'm me! I was born in America!" He defended.
"Rin was born here." I countered. It was a win for me. His ears flattened when he realized the gravity of what I just said. I could almost taste the panic coming off of him. It annoyed me, that the thought of complications between him and this girl could make him panic.
"Well, if it comes down to it. I'm willing to make changes for her. Not so she'll love me, I expect her to love me before this is a real issue. I'll do it because I know if she loved me, I would love her." He said with determination. 'You're just a fucking kid! You don't know what love is! Do you not remember what happened to me?' I mentally screamed.
We walked in silence from that point on. When we arrived at the village Rin was already waiting for Damien outside. The second she saw Damien she ran up to him. Her eyes were twinkling in fascination. I mentally rolled my eyes at it.
"Damien? You were born into your pack!" Rin enthused.
"That I was! Now I can shift just like Kia!" Damien boasted with a dog grin.
"It's wonderful! You look adorable!" Rin clapped her hands together.
"Adorable?" Damien deflated. "I thought I would look cool, impressive or even intimating..." He complained.
"Kid, no walking puppy could every be intimating." Inuyasha said walking up with his wife beside him.
"Inuyasha." Kagome scolded.
"He's right." I quickly jumped in to save the poor man from a lecture.
"Sis!" Damien yelled in disbelief.
"You shouldn't say that! Even if he does look cute." Kagome turned on me.
"Kagome!" Damien protested again.
"It doesn't matter if you are cute. Killala is adorable too, but she's strong as well. I think you're stronger though." Rin piped in with a small blush.
"Ah well! Maybe it's a natural way to throw people off their guard." Damien immediately accepted his new title.
"Why don't you two go get out of here?" Inuyasha suggested firmly.
"Okay!" Rin agreed taking Damien by his paw. She walked off, almost jogging with him following her.
"Can he get any more obvious than that?" Inuyasha said the thing I have been thinking for awhile now.
"Ha! He can and he might. At first I was all for it but now..." I huffed.
"Now what? Rin seems to like him. I don't see what could be the issue now." Kagome frowned as she waddled towards me.
"It's, difficult to explain." I gritted out.
"Come on, we can talk about it inside." Kagome offered.
"Great..." Inuyasha exclaimed not interested in a possible day long conversation of feelings. I was right there with him. Yet we both followed the pregnant woman inside Kaede's hut.
"Good evening Kagome, Inuyasha and Kia." Kaede greeted when we walked into her home.
"Hello Lady Kaede! I came over to see if you wanted some help since Rin is going to be gone." Kagome offered already waddling to the elderly woman's side. With more effort than I felt was necessary she sat down.
"I won't turn down yet kindness. However, there will be a day where Rin is not around to help me. I am not completely dependent on the young girl." Kaede said.
"I just hope Damien doesn't take it too hard when she leaves. I'm going to be the one who has to pick up the pieces." I complained sourly.
"Let the pup deal with it himself." Inuyasha huffed.
"I can't. It would be cruel. I guess that is another difference between our breed of dog. When a weredog has their heart broken it takes time and effort from his pack to heal him. It can be...exhausting." I explained.
"That sounds terrible and romantic all at the same time." Kagome gushed but soon frowned. "If it did come down to that, we'll be happy to help in what way we can." She offered.
"Thank you, I'm dreading it."
"You know that bastard will be here in three months" Inuyasha informed.
"Fuck." I literally barked out. I got looks from all three but only Inuyasha looked like he understood what I said.
"I...think I'll need some time to get used to that." Kagome laughed nervously.
"It's a little disturbing hearing a female say it so...angry." Inuyasha admitted looking at me with wide eyes.
"You mean you understood her? She spoke...in dog? What did she say?" Kagome gawked.
"Uuuhhhh." Inuyasha said looking to Jago me and me nervously.
"Fuck!" I said in Japanese but with as much strength as I had in dog.
"Ohhhh! What is wrong with you! Didn't your parents teach you better? Now what is so bad about Sesshomaru coming to give Rin a choice in three months?" Kagome jumped onto my ass. I swear if she wasn't pregnant me and her would be butting heads. Unfortunately, her pregnancy reins in my usual angry or smart asset comments. I just can't be mean to a being carrying another life form inside of them.
"They are free thinkers. Anyways, I was hopping it would be sooner. So that he would be less attached when she leaves." I said as calmly as I could pinching the bridge of my nose.
"Yeah, even though she is already getting attached to him in return, she's going to pick that bastard." Inuyasha said bitterly.
"It's her life. She can choose what path she wants." Kaede butted in finally.
"Yeah, she's not doing it because she doesn't care for us. We're just not what she wants. Sesshomaru is her personal super hero. He was the first to show her compassion since her parents died. I really can't blame her." Kagome soothed.
"I can't blame her either. I just have this feeling." I said crossing my arms as I glared at the floor. I really couldn't be outright mean or cold to her now. Damn orphan background, another way to defuse my anger.
"What feeling do yet have?" Kaede asked curiously.
"I have a feeling I'm going to end up chasing my brother as he follows her around all of Japan." I sighed heavily.
"You know, that could end up being the case if Rin likes him enough. She might ask Sesshomaru if you two can follow." Kagome concluded
"Keh, why not just let him go alone if you don't want to have to be dragged along? He's old enough." Inuyasha said.
"I can't." I frowned at him. "You don't understand what it's like to grow up in a pack. Pack is life. Without it, you just feel so lost and alone." I admitted.
"It's just try the two of you. What's the big deal of it just being you. Go find your own way through life." Inuyasha shrugged.
"Inuyasha!" Kagome exclaimed.
"I'm just saying. It looks like Damien is going to end up chasing Rin. If she hates the idea so much then just don't follow. Otherwise quite complaining." He defended.
"How could you say that? You're so insensitive sometimes! You don't understand what that means to her!" She snapped back.
"Can you say you do?" I asked shooting her a glare. The air in the hut became thick all of the sudden. Everyone looked at me in shock. "No one in this time but my brother truly understands. That's why I can't leave him. It would be crippling to the both of us. Inuyasha is right regardless. Logically speaking I should do what I want. It's my life, I shouldn't waste it forced to follow my pack around. But the right thing to do would be staying with him."
"Aren't you Alpha? Can't you just order him to stay or give up on Rin?" Inuyasha asked.
"As alpha you don't just boss everyone around when you want. More often than not you are the one who doesn't get their wants fulfilled. It is because you aren't what matters the most. It's your pack that must come first. It is their happiness that is priority. My brother and I talk of being a born Alpha. The truth is, there is no such thing. You can't be born alpha, you must be molded to take on the role. Even the weakest of Weredogs can be a strong alpha."
"It's not a privilege but a responsibility." Kagome nodded her head in understanding.
"Yes, it is. No one ever becomes Alpha when they think it entitles them. Those who try are shot down faster than you can blink. Only those who truly want to protect and provide for their pack ever have a chance of gaining the title. Yes, it's a respected position. It's not all con, but they can be seen as not worth it for the pros."
"So, ye are set on being a good Alpha for ye little brother despite everything? That is quite admirable of you." Kaede said.
"Keh! If it helps, you're already a better Alpha than my brother." Inuyasha spat.
"I gain no comfort from that. Being a step up from the worst doesn't mean that you are good. You can still be shitty." I said in a clipped tone.
"Whatever." Inuyasha grunted at me.
"Maybe...you won't hate it eventually? You never know. Rin can't travel all of her life. Sesshomaru knows that, so maybe he will settle her down somewhere close to him?" Kagome offered.
"I guess there is only one way to find out." I sighed out.
"In the end it is up to ye to find happiness wherever life leads you. Happiness isn't a place or possession, it's a state of mind." Kaede said wisely. I couldn't argue with that. So I stayed silent. It didn't make me feel better. Somehow it made me feel worse.
I closed my eyes and felt my brother's light hearted feelings. He was really happy right now, completely content. I had to shield myself from him. I wouldn't be the thing to bring him down. It wasn't his job to help me carry my burden. That was a job for Beta's, Gamma's or Deltas. I had none and I refused my brother to take those roles. Even though there was only two of us. I'm defining the nature of a pack but I didn't care. I was a beast with humanity. I wasn't going to let instinct rule everything in my life. I didn't hate what I was, I just wasn't going to let it define me. At least, I try not to. Sometimes, it's difficult.