Face your fears

Amy went across the hall within 1 minute of the call. A shocked Penny answered, "Hey Ames, that was quick.. What, do you have a TARDIS?"

"I wish… oh God, can you believe we know what that is?!"

"I know, the guys have infected with Sci Fi! Here's your bag. You seem ready for your trip, I don't think you need anything else. I'm glad we stopped by Victoria Secr...Oh, I see you have an admirer." Penny motioned to a crossed armed, despondent pajama clad Sheldon standing sentinel across the hall.

Amy turned around and saw the look on Sheldon face, something she didn't recognize at first, because it was such a rarity from him:Longing. "I better go..."

Amy went across the hall to say her last good-bye to Sheldon.

He grabbed her by the hand and pulled her into him, holding her flush with him. He whispered in her ear his plea with a low husky voice," Amy, I am going to ask you something. I know you will say no, and you have every reason to do so. But hear me out, this is very hard for me ask…" He took a deep breath and continued to speak in whisper next to her ear, hiding his face. "I don't want to spend the night tonight knowing you are only 7.6 miles away, knowing I wont see you for 2 weeks. Would you stay here tonight. You would have to wake up early, and be tired for your trip, I know it is a lot to ask. But…" He pulled back and held her face, his eye color had changed to a softer baby blue, reflecting his demeanor. "Please…"

Amy knew that for Sheldon to ask for something he needed so intangible, like simply the emotional need of someone's presence, was a big step. Actually, not so much a step as like a jump across a deep chasm. He loathed showing emotion, and detested even more showing neediness.

Amy couldn't refuse him, "Of course. It is not that late. I will stay. I am almost packed and I can leave tomorrow around 4:30, enough time to meet the car. I want to stay too, Sheldon. I don't want to miss a moment, if I can help it."

He gave her a passionate kiss as he wrapped his arms and her waist and picked her a foot off the ground and twirled her around. "OH, thank you Amy! "

"Wooh! That's was fun! "

"I hope you won't be too tired tomorrow…"

Amy gave a shrug, "Meh, Sanford University can suck it. Besides, as they say, "Sleep, those little slices of death — how I loathe them."

"Quoting Poe, now Amy, really? At least it's not Sci Fi, but it's just as electrifying. " He kissed her again and gave her a whirl.

"Wooh! I do love dancing with you! So, do you want to go straight to bed, or…" Sheldon remembered their dancing evening so long ago. Amy, not so much.

"Well, I think you're right, we should finish our session on the face. We might even be able to go to legs when I get back. Let's see how comfortable we are. " Legs was going to be their next session. If she could get through a session without wanting to pounce on Sheldon, they could start legs upon her return. Sheldon seemed much more comfortable with touching her face than the other way around.

"Great! You start, and if it get's too much for you, just tell me, don't run off. "

"Who in the world would have thought Sheldon Lee Cooper would be saying that to me, instead of the other way around?"

"In the last few weeks, our table have turned so much you would think we were on a lazy susan!"

"I like it!" Amy got comfortable on the couch, facing Sheldon. " Okay. I'm ready."

Amy didn't want to start with his eyes, that led to trouble before. It helped that his eyes were closed. He was helping her concentrate. Instead, she used two fingers to draw an imaginary streak on his jaw line. His whiskers were rough on her finger tips. He had a strong bony jaw. Her fingers met at his chin. Then she debated, should she go to his neck? Or his lips? His neck won.

She moved down to his neck and drew her fingers around his hair line. His neck was sleek and strong matching his lanky build. He had a large Adam's apple which was moving now as Sheldon's swallowed his discomfort away. His eyes were open now, watching her movements like a hawk. Amy glided her hands to his clavicle, then back up the sides of his neck to behind his ears. Sheldon breathing was shallow, his eyes heavy, dark and fixed on her.

Amy then felt four fingers tips on her neck and a thumb on her ear. Amy mirrored his action on Sheldon's neck. He moved his fingers and squeezed her ear lobes, she followed. His index finger traced the folds of her ear, she repeated it exactly. He stopped, she stopped. He moved to her cheek, she repeated it. Whatever Sheldon did, Amy repeated on his face. She was a proxy for his actions. He was in control.

Sheldon moved his thumb to her mouth, outlining the curves. Her lips were as soft as velvet, especially her lower lip line. She repeated this action on him; his whiskers contrasted against his soft lips like sandpaper next to silk. He had a triangle shaped philtrum that was littered with small whiskers. His lower lip was full and soft.

Amy's mouth was slightly open now. As Sheldon moved his thumb across it, he felt her warm moist tongue graze the tip. Sheldon slowly glazed his wet thumb over her lips again; she repeated the action. She had her emerald eyes fixed on him as if her sight alone could hold him.

Sheldon grabbed Amy's hand that was on his face. He held her hand to stop her mimicking actions, but continued to run his thumb across her mouth. She was bolder now, opened wider and let her tongue lick his thumb. Her eyes were glued on his mouth as she kissed his thumb with a slight sucking action. Sheldon grew bolder, and put his thumb into her mouth just enough to feel her suck the tip and lick the sides like she did with the spoon. He found a new clarity concerning his brownie battered dipped spoon dream; the innuendo struck him and rewrote the memory in a new erotic way he couldn't ignore. This was enough to send him over the edge.

He grabbed her face and pulled her into a deep open mouth kiss. He had to feel her tempting teasing tongue on his. She moaned as his kiss deepened further into her. His response was to pull her body on to his lap. She flipped her knee over his leg and straddled him as his hands were holding her face He wrapped his large hands around the back of her neck, moving her head exactly where he wanted her. She could feel his excitement growing underneath her. She shifted her weight and he let out a growl to match his wolf like blue eyes.

She tried the movement again and tilted her hips. Sheldon sucked in a breath as he continued to kiss her. He rubbed her back pulling her closer to his chest, rubbing her body against him. He bucked against her on impulse. In one fluid motion, he flipped her on her back while still having her legs around him. The shock knocked the breath out of her as her head popped back on the leather cushion with a thud. Sheldon saw her exposed neck and turned her head to the side, devouring her neck like a sexy praying mantis. He was nibbling on her ear lobe and moving down her neck to her chest. One hand was holding his weight while the other was manipulating her head.

Amy could barely move her body given the state Sheldon had pinned her against the couch. She instead wrapped her leg around him, pulling him roughly into her. Sheldon thrust into her on impulse. She felt his full hard length against her inner thiegh. This was too much for Sheldon, he arched his back and pushed into her middle further. He was losing control; his hind brain was in charge, forcing his actions. He stopped suddenly, grabbing her face. She looked shocked by his actions, almost scared. Sheldon confused her reaction for fear of his actions when in reality she was fearful he would stop because she went too far pulling him into her. He thought he had to get away from her before he hurt her.

Sheldon leaped off the couch and ran down the hall to the bath room. He ran cold water over his face, trying to wash away his shame, guilt, disappointment, and arousal. All of it had to washed away. Then he looked in the mirror.

His face looked different. His eyes were darker, he was flush. His lips were fuller and redder and his hair was tussled and unkempt. This is what it looks like to give in to your baser urges. animalististic, raw, out of control. He put his hands on either side of the sink to hold his hunched body up.

Then, Sheldon rubbed his hands over his face. It was just a look of someone who gave into his baser urges. He looked older; less like a scared boy, more like a man. His thumbs met at his open mouth lips which let out a sigh. His memory flooded back the feelings he just tried to escape. He felt her again. He felt her soft hand on his mouth, his cheek , his lips. Sheldon ran his thumb over his own lips as he replayed the tape in his mind. He missed it. He heard her bedroom door open.

Sheldon washed his face one more time. He emerged from the bathroom about 5 minutes expecting to see an empty living room. Instead, he found Amy sitting with her nightgown on, sipping tea.

"Thank you for staying. " He head was turned to the side, not wanting to face her.

Amy looked at him with concerned eyes. " Sheldon, of course I would stay. I promised. It's not too late." Her statement was heavy with double meanings. She tapped the cushion of his spot. Sheldon sat down to find a cup of tea waiting for him, perfectly brewed. She handed him the cup.

"I bet you are going to ask for a relationship accord, aren't you?" Please don't do a relationship accord, I don't want to have to talk about my feelings concerning this.

"No. I am not. You're not ready for that now. I just want to tell you what I am thinking and I have 2 questions for you. But first, Sheldon, I have to apologize…"

He cut her off mid sentence, "You?!" He thought, I should be on my knees begging forgiveness for attacking you like some kind of primitive!

"Yes, me. I shouldn't have used my leg to push you into me. I told you that you would be in control, and I overstepped. I apologize. These are the urges I told you about. I am working on controlling them. I got ahead of myself. "

"I wasn't feeling much in control, either frankly Amy." Sheldon was embarrassed and silent, his mind working overdrive to analyze the situation.

Was Amy upset that I lost control?

"I wasn't upset at all you lost control." Amy could see his mind working, soaking in all she was saying. She hoped he would say something to her, but he couldn't. Not now. It was too raw and unfamiliar to deal with these new emotions. She knew she had to be one to do the talking.

Sheldon thought, Really? Did she like it?

" I really liked you taking charge and kissing me like that. I liked it a lot."

Can she hear me thinking now, that's so weird. Her mouth is so cute when she smirks, I would love to kiss her again.

"In fact, I can't wait till you kiss me again."

Sheldon listened to her. He wanted to talk, but the words wouldn't come yet. He stewing in his silent fears: But what if I lose control? I just let my base urges take over. It was too much for me, it scared me.

She continued, "I know all this intimacy is scary for you. It is new and exciting and that is what makes it hard to control. When you find something new you like, you want to do it all the time. It can be intoxicating. That is why maybe I shouldn't move in now. It will help us slow down. I don't want to lose you Sheldon because I force you to go too fast. We are taking things slow, trying to ease into the new realm of physical contact. "

Will she wait for me?

"I will wait for as long as I need to be with you. You are worth the wait. I want you to be comfortable or I don't want it."

Phew! It's still weird that she is answering all my thoughts. Maybe she does have super powers?… OH she's talking again. Better listen….

"I just want to know 2 things Sheldon: 1. Did you like it? 2. Would you WANT to do it again? Think about what I am asking.

First, I want to know if you liked it. I will tell you my answer, which you already know: Yes, I loved it. I loved that we were wrapped up in each other. However, I don't mind we stopped. Not at all. It was intense and I am glad we are going at our own pace. It lets me know you are comfortable, which means more to me than my own sexual desire for fruition. Which leads me to my next question:

2. Would you WANT to do it again? Not CAN you… Do you WANT to? If you answer yes, then we can work together. We will make our intimacy unique. It doesn't have to be on a schedule and it doesn't have to lead to anything. It can be what YOU make of it. We can make out like that for month, hell years, and it would be okay. But only if you WANT to. That is all I want to know. Don't answer now. Think about. Sleep on it. Tell me when you are ready. "

Amy got up from the couch, leaned over, rubbed his shoulder and kissed Sheldon on the head, "I really enjoyed our evening Sheldon. Everything. Every moment. " He watched silently as Amy disappeared into her room.

Left with his ruminating mind, SHeldon sat wide eyed and pensive.

1. Did he like it?

2. Did he want to do it again?

Did he like it? Yes, but he didn't want to admit it. Like it? He loved it! He couldn't lie to himself anymore than he could to anyone who saw his twitching. He loved every second of touching her, tasting her, feeling her. She didn't ask did he want to like it. That would have been a completely different answer. No, he didn't want to like it. He didn't want to be out of control. But wait… He was in control. He stopped. If he wasn't in control, he would be dry humping Amy raw by now. He stopped. He was able to stop if he wanted to… Wanted to…

Next question, did he want to do it again? That was tricky. She didn't ask could he do it again. That answer was complicated. Could he let himself go? Could he relax enough to give into his desires? Sheldon Cooper CAN do anything he wants... There's that word again...

But she didn't ask him that. She asked did he want to? Why? Of course he wanted to give in. Of course he wanted to feel her, touch her, taste her. He wanted to lose control. THE VIXEN! That is why she asked it that way. Because if he wanted it, he really wasn't losing control. He was controlling his desires by consciously given into them. Well played, Amy Farrah Fowler. And true, none the less. He liked losing control of his urges with her and yes, he wanted to do it again. He didn't need to sleep on it. He didn't need to think anymore. He just needed to make a decision and go at his own tempo. Time to face the fear and punch it in the throat.

He had his own question:

3. When would he want to do it again?

Sheldon had been thinking on the couch for 2 minutes and 33 seconds. At 2 minutes and 42 seconds, he was at her bedroom door.

"Amy! To answer your questions: Yes, and Yes. To answer my question: Now."

He took her hand and pulled her toward him. He tossed her glasses on her bed and instead of kissing her, he threw her body over his shoulder and carried her fireman style to his bedroom.

"oof, Sheldon, what the..."

"Hush woman. This is what me in control looks like."

He kicked open the door with his foot and flipped her on the bed. The mattress bounced from the shock and Amy let out an excited gasp.

Sheldon knelt on the bed between her legs, grabbed her face and ran his thumb over her mouth slowly. She opened it enough to let out one breath before he dove into her, engulfing her mouth with his own. She moaned and grabbed him by the nape of his neck, pulling him slightly toward her, the momentum of which knocked them back onto the bed. Sheldon' forearms braced himself on either side of her head. He pushed himself back on his palms, hovering over her, still shocked by his out of character, yet exhilarating actions. He lightly stroked her long brown hair out of her flushed face, and pulled it back gently as he grabbed her head and lifting her up to kiss him. Amy back was arched and Sheldon took the opportunity to wrap his hand around the small of her back, pulling her flush with his body; the kiss never broken.

Their kissing was timeless, like they were out of phase with their bodies. Sheldon's hands were rubbing her back, then as the kiss intensified, they were just dormant, till he realized he could move again. He moved to kiss her cheeks, moving to her neck. She was wearing her snap button night gown, three of the buttons were undone. As he kissed her neck, she arched her back and one more of the buttons came undone. It was tempting for Sheldon to just pull open her nightgown and devour her; but this wasn't the time. Not yet. He was pacing himself. He was in control.

He kissed her soft neck down to the rounded top of her breast, up then back up to her neck, this time on the other side. Amy turned her head and kissed his neck now. Sheldon moaned at the touch of her lips on his neck, it relaxed his vigor. He shifted to the side of her as she continued to kiss him.

Now Sheldon was on his back, Amy laying half on his chest. She slowed her kissing down and looked at his eyes. Brushing his hair down, outlining his face again. She kissed his forehead above his right eye, lightly, then his left eye. She kissed his temple with more pressure. Then his cheek with her mouth open slightly to taste him. Her fingers ran down his nose to his lips which she met with her mouth. She was exploring him, tasting him. Every inch of his face was her buffet. She moved to his neck, tasting the area above his collar;salty with sweat and musky. Amy inhaled his aroma as she continued her exploration of his tempting collar. She lightly sucked on his neck, but not so much to leave a mark. He didn't need a mark to keep the memory forever.

Sheldon moaned again at the touch. It was light and sweet, not the dynamism that he had on her neck.

It was possible to kiss and not lose control. He captured her face with his hands, looking in her eyes;Trying to tell her telepathically he understood what she meant: "Their pace, their rules." She heard him.

They stayed in his bed, exploring each other's face and neck with their kissing till they fell asleep in each others arms. It was enough for both of them. For now.

Author's note: I had to "Force" my self to endure hours of internet searches for Jim Parson's face to research this story. ;)

I hope I describe it well enough here. Thanks to all my reviewers and followers. I hope this was enough sexy time for while... Next chapter is fun. I hope you like it.