Hey guys, sorry for the late update. I can't wait to hear what you think about this, i hope you enjoy it.

xx

Chapter Ten

Rose POV

Work was busy but that was good; the endless stream of customers helped me forget about everything that had happened. I don't know how I could explain it, but the second my uniform comes on I can switch off. Nothing matters besides coffee. And occasionally collage notes. Though, today it was a little harder to ignore the sombre vibe that covered the canteen. It wasn't unusual to see people crying over a cup of coffee. Glancing over the tables I could see what I assumed was a mother daughter pair, the mothers arm wrapped around the daughter's shoulder as she wept into her herbal tea. Usually, I could ignore it because I saw that level of emotion a lot. But today, I found it heartbreaking.

Because I realised I would never have that with Janine.

"Rose?" Alberta called out, breaking me out of my day dream. She looked super stressed, but then when did she not? From what she had told me, being head nurse wasn't an easy job; especially with Kirova as chief of surgery. I hadn't spent a lot of time in that woman's presence, but I could tell she was a bitch. She also didn't like me.

"Hey Al" I smiled one of the only genuine smiles I could really give tonight "Coffee?" I asked, reaching for a large cup.

"Please. You okay Doll? Christian told me your mother was in town." I was going to kill him. I love Alberta, but I didn't need everyone knowing my business. Not that she would spread this, but in a place like this, you can't keep your business in for very long. I just needed to keep calm. I hate crying. In public is the worst. At work is never going to happen. "She's going to give a talk here soon."

"She's what?!" u asked, spilling some of Alberta's coffee on the counter. Fuck. Not only was she destroying my personal life but she was going to insert herself into this place? Was nowhere safe from her? "When is she going to be here?"

"Around two tomorrow; Kirova asked her in for a personal favour. I had no idea Dr. Janine Hathaway was your mother, that woman is a legend." Yeah, it wasn't something I liked to spread around.

"I didn't know you were into psychology."

"I took a couple of courses in Collage before I turned to nursing. More interested in the body then the mind."

"Are you going?"

"If I can drag myself away from the desk. Hon, that woman in like a legend in the psych world, the interns are so lucky they've got her. Though I have heard from my sources that she can be a bit of a bitch." well that was the understatement of the century.

"Well, where do you think I got it from?"

"Well that explains it."

"So how's it going up there?" I asked, wondering where the hell everyone was. I had been here a couple of hours, but no one had come in for a coffee break yet which had me worried. Christian basically lived off the stuff in the night shifts, though he hated the stuff they had in the Doctors lounge; I had heard him bitching about it enough. God help his patients tonight, though I supposed the adrenalin he must be running off of would help him.

"It's crazy, we got people running around like crazy, people coding all over the place. And I will tell you, when your man came out of his surgery, he was not happy."

"My man?"

"Don't play dumb with me honey. After Christians engagement party, Dimitri is so your man."

"Alberta –"

"Honey, I have got to get back up there. But one day we will sit down and you will give me all the details on that sexy doctor. You are a lucky girl."

"I know." I smiled as she sent me a wink and walked away.

A couple more hours past and it seemed like nobody was getting good news. I must have served a couple of crying people – one I had to try to point to the menu to guess what she wanted because I couldn't understand her through her tears.

Thankfully, Mia sent me on my break after that one. Grabbing a cup of coffee, I headed outside, needing the fresh air on my face. Someone had built a garden for the patients and their families, a small place filled with flowers and tress just outside of the canteen; it was the only place here that tricked you into believing you weren't in a hospital. I loved it. Usually at this time, there were a couple of people here. But thankfully, tonight, I it was empty. Except for one person.

He sat on the bench in the shadows, hunched over with his hands on his knees as if he were praying; though I didn't really take Dimitri for the religious type. He was in his scrubs, his hair covering his face as he stared at the ground.

I didn't know if I should go over to him; I didn't want to disturb him. But I also wanted to wrap my arms around him until he felt better.

I couldn't. Turning to leave, I could just sit in the back and let him have his time.

"Roza?"

"Hey, Comrade" I smiled a little. Walking over to him, I took a spot on the bench next to him as he leaned back. I didn't really know what to say, I hadn't seen Dimitri like this. I knew he was quiet, but this was a whole other level. His face was screwed up a little, the frown lines deepening as he stared up at the nights sky. Taking a little risk, I leaned my head against his shoulder.

"I should have known."

"Sorry?"

"My patient. Complications. I should have known. I could have stopped-"He didn't finish his sentence. Reaching out, I took his hand in my, closing my fingers round his because that's the only thing I could think of to do. I knew he needed comfort, but I didn't know how. So I just sat there in silence with him, with my hand in his as we let the cold air wash over us. His fingers closed around mine in a firm grip.

We didn't talk. Checking the time, I knew I had a couple of minutes until my break was finished and I had to get back to work. "Hey, I have to go back in there." I said, shaking our hands a little. I didn't want to leave him like this – from what I could tell he didn't take death well. Strange for a surgeon.

"Okay." He whispered, but he didn't let go of my hand.

"Are you?"

"Sorry?"

"We don't have to talk about whatever's going on in your head Comrade. But I do need to know if you're okay." I couldn't lie to myself, I was worried. How would he deal with this? My mind was jumping to conclusions of scenarios of Dimitri drinking, drowning his sorrows. But I brushed them aside. I knew Dimitri wasn't like that, he was stronger. And if he wasn't, then hopefully Christian would have warned me about something like that.

"Roza." He whispered, pulling me into his arms. "I'm okay." He might have been saying that, but I knew he didn't believe it. His body felt wrong, his arms too tense as he held me so I knew he was lying not only to me, but to himself. If we had the time, I could wrap myself around him and kiss him until he forgot his pain. God knows it worked for me.

Reaching up, I placed a small kiss on his lips as my hands ran through his hair.

Dimitri POV

Tonight had been a nightmare. I forgot about the full moon rule, but was quickly reminded as the halls started to fill up. I didn't dare go into the waiting rooms; people would pounce on me the second they saw my scrubs. The first couple of hours of my shift where chasing after people that had paged me for a consult. Thankfully, there hadn't been anything serious that I had needed to attend too, just the general stitches that I had delegated to interns. They needed the practise more than I did.

Then there had been one idiot that had decided to climb on the roof of a bar that wouldn't let him in because he had been that drunk. He had fallen off, taking a spectacular noise dive and landing on an iron bar from next doors renovations. He was lucky to be alive.

Soon, I found myself scrubbing up, going over the procedure in my mind over and over again to make sure I could get all the steps right before I was ready. It was going smoothly, the bar was able to be extracted from the abdomen and there wasn't any permanent damage to any vital organs. The appendix had taken a hit, causing us to take it out, but the idiot would survive without it.

Just as we were about to close up, I got the page. My patient, the one with the mysterious lung collapse was going downhill with reports that her organs were failing. Leaving the rest of my team to close up, I ran all the way to her room that was a couple of floors away from the operating theatre.

Her husband was at her bedside, clutching her hand with tears streaming down her face when I got there. Having to forcibly remove him from her side was half the problem. The other half was figuring out what to do. I started barking orders at the nurses, doing everything I could to keep this woman alive. She needed to live. She had a husband, she had a family – her oldest son working on Wall Street as an investment broker and her youngest just graduated from Yale – she had a good life that she had to continue. She was going into cardiac shock, her heart beat erratic.

From that point on, everything went fast. I blinked, and we were in the operating room. I blinked again, as she was seizing on the table. I blinked one last time, and she was gone.

Time of Death, 1:03 am.

Talking to the husband was the worst part. He was angry, throwing blame and fists against my chest as he tried to lash out at me. I took it, he wasn't doing any damage and restraining him wasn't going to do anything except hurt him more.

I needed to get out so I could breathe, ignoring the calls I got from Alberta and heading to the patients garden.

Thankfully it was empty when I got there. Picking a bench I sat down, thinking everything over as a wave of guilt overtook me. I had killed her. By not figuring out what was wrong with her in time, I had killed her. She was 60; she had years to live if this hadn't happened to her. Now she wouldn't watch her youngest walk down the aisle, or see her grandchildren born. I felt like I had robbed her of those moments.

This was the trouble when it came to investing in your patients lives. I knew I shouldn't do it, it fought against the nature of surgery, but it just wasn't me. I would deal with the guilt and the blame; I would learn from my mistakes and I would move on and take the knowledge to the next patient that needs the same help.

This was one I wouldn't be able to let go.

Someone had entered the garden. I didn't even need to move to know who it was; I could smell her perfume from where she was standing. My Roza.

She stayed by my side as long as she could; even though we didn't talk, she helped. The guilt that was still there wasn't as prominent, my heart ached a little less as she took my hand. It was amazing I could still feel love after tonight. Because that is what I felt for her. I was in love with this woman. It was crazy, but I knew it as we sat together in silence. So much for going slow.

Going back up to the surgical floor, I had to put my patient behind me as best as I could. One look from Alberta told me she was going to send me home, but I couldn't do that. I was here, I could do my job. And I would.

Until one person stopped me.

"Stay away from Rose." Jessie snarled as he got in my face, but he looked like an angry kitten. I could see Christian and Alberta watching us from the nurses' station like he was about to come over. I shook my head, I couldn't get people involved in this, not with the way Jessie was acting. I needed to get him out of here before things got violent, because I could tell that was where he was heading. Well if I didn't get there first. I was squashing the urge to slam him against the wall. After everything he had done to Roza, I wanted to hurt him.

"Excuse me?" I said, trying to keep professional.

"Rose is mine. She was always meant to be mine, and no Russian cowboy is going to get in the way of me and my future wife." Now I was getting angry, and I couldn't do anything in a hall full of patients. Thankfully, I didn't have too. Christian came over, pushing Jessie through the nearest door.

The three of us ended up in an empty lab. Jessie didn't even have the brains to look scared, though Christian had murder in his eyes. We were here for Roza, and there was no way either of us was going to let this piece of shit hurt my – our – girl again.