Rachel

"I'm having a major déjà vu moment right now. This is just like when you brought me to Bermuda and refused to tell me where we were going," I said, looking over at Noah. We were in his car, driving to some unknown location. We'd already been driving for four hours—I think we were still in Ohio, but I'd lost track of where we were over an hour ago.

"Hey, is it so bad for me to want to give you a little surprise?" he asked, turning his face towards me for a moment and smiling. "You were so shocked when we arrived in Bermuda. I just want to do that again. Is that so horrible?"

"No, but I would like to know where we're going for once. Do you know how maddening it is to not have any idea where I'm going and simultaneously being trapped in a car for hours?"

Noah laughed, reaching over and taking my hand. "Relax, babe. Everything's going to turn out well. You're going to love what I have planned, I promise. Just sleep or something. You've got to be tired."

I let out a yawn, closing my eyes a little. Of course I was tired—I was always tired. ALS made me tired all the time. Plus, it was starting to take a little more effort to take a breath, something I knew was a bad sign.

The doctors had told me at some point I wouldn't be able to breathe on my own. They were talking about putting a tube in my neck to do breathing for me. I knew I didn't want that. What was the point of being alive if I couldn't even breathe without a machine? The doctors kept saying I needed to write down what I wanted—what I wanted to happen to me when I started getting worse, but I wasn't ready for that. Not yet at least.

I blamed Noah for that. Up until now, I'd been ready for my life to end. No, ready wasn't the right word—who could really be ready to die? I wasn't ready for death, but I'd come to accept the fact that I wasn't going to make it to 25, I wasn't going to get married or have a baby or do any of the things I wanted. And for some reason, I was okay with that.

But now? Now I wasn't ready to die. I didn't want my life to end when I had something worth living for. Noah was one of those guys who came around one in a lifetime. I didn't see that at first, but I was starting to see it now. He was so different that Finn, enjoying me for the way I was instead of the vision he had of me. Finn had always tried to change me and mold me into the girl he wanted me to be instead of the girl I was. Noah accepted me for the way I was and loved me for it. He liked the good and bad parts and wasn't trying to change anything.

He was giving up everything for me. He'd quit school and put his life on hold to help me to something I wanted because he was a good person. Okay, so maybe he wanted to spend time with me and make himself look good, but he wouldn't have quit school just to do that.

I knew we'd been together only for a little, but the feelings I had for him were so much stronger than what I had felt for anyone ever. I dated Finn for years, and I already felt more for Noah than I ever did for Finn. I knew it was love—I couldn't imagine my life without him in it. He was the kind of person I could see myself marrying and having a family with. Too bad I didn't have that kind of time left.

I lowered the seat a bit so I was lying back instead of sitting up straight, trying to fall asleep. The gentle movement of the car helped me relax, and before I knew it I was sleeping.

I didn't dream much, but Noah's face kept floating through my mind as I remained sleeping. In my head, he kept telling me he loved me and that he'd do anything for me. I knew the real Noah would say the same things to me if he wasn't terrified I'd freak out at him like I had in Bermuda after our night together.

The car hit a bump and I woke back up, looking around a bit frantically as I tried to reorient myself to where we were. It had gotten a bit darker out—I had no idea how long we'd been driving or how late it was.

"Morning sunshine," Noah teased, reaching a hand over to squeeze my knee gently. "I knew you were tired."

"Shut up," I muttered, brushing some of my hair out of my face. "Are we almost there?" I asked, looking out the window. My mouth dropped open as the bright lights and tall buildings came into view. I knew where we were. It was the one place in the world I loved.

"I see you know where we are," he teased, driving the car up to a hotel. It was called the Marriot Marquis New York, a hotel I'd been at before. They had the best bathrooms, ones I'd visited when I was seeing a show while I lived in New York.

I had no idea why Noah had brought me to New York, but I was beyond excited. If I hadn't gotten sick, I'd still be here realizing my dream. Instead, I was stuck back in Ohio because my dads refused to let me be happy for my last months.

"Noah, what are we doing here?" I asked as he stopped the car in front of the valet, turning it off.

He laughed, leaning over and kissing my forehead. "It's a surprise. I can't spoil it now," he said, opening his door. He handed the valet guy a few dollars before lifting both our bags out of the trunk. "Shall we?" he asked, turning towards me.

Looking at him suspiciously, I followed him into the hotel, looking around. The lobby was enormous and filled with people. There was a restaurant that was packed. I felt my stomach growl—I hadn't eaten in hours.

Noah walked up to the front desk, checking us in. I had no idea if he was going to get us two rooms again like he had before when we were pretending we weren't aching to fuck each other. Now that we had slept together, I wasn't sure if he was expecting to get laid on this trip as well.

Noah returned with one envelope. "I got us one room this time. I hope that's okay—I can get another if you'd prefer to have your own room."

I shook my head. "No, one room is perfect." I moved closer to him, standing on my toes to give him a soft kiss on the lips. "Let's head up to our room and order some food. I'm starving."

Noah nodded his head. "Sounds like a great idea. I'm tired from driving all day." I linked my arm with his, leaning my head against his shoulder as we made our way over to the elevators. We headed up to the 12th floor, walking out of the elevator once we arrived. Noah led the way down the hall to our room, putting the key in the door, opening it a moment later.

The room was beautiful. There was a large king sized bed in the center of the room, the covers white. There was a red couch off to the side and a large flat screened TV mounted on the wall. The best part, however, was the view. Our window had a perfect view of Time's Square.

I was in heaven.

I ran over, jumping onto the bed, landing on my stomach. I buried my face in the covers, letting out a laugh. "I can't believe we're actually in New York!" I giggled, rolling over onto my back and stared at the ceiling, watching the blades of the fan spin around and around.

Noah had walked over to the phone, calling room service for something to eat. I heard him order himself a steak before he covered the phone and asked what I wanted.

"Just a salad," I said, earning an annoyed look. "Don't look at me like that, Mr. Puckerman. Order the salad," I ordered, sticking my tongue out at him. He rolled his eyes before ordering the food, hanging up the phone after he'd finished.

"They said it should be ready in about half an hour. They'll bring it up here when it's all ready."

I smiled and nodded my head, a blush creeping onto my cheeks. Noah and I were alone in a hotel room we were sharing. We were in New York, and I was pretty sure I was in love with him. I had no idea how to act. Taking a deep breath, I looked off to the side before looking back at him. "Well, I feel grimy after being stuck in that car all day. I think I'm going to take a bath." I started walking towards the bathroom before looking back. "You're welcome to join me," I added.

I heard Noah laughed as he walked over towards me, wrapping his arms around my waist, his lips on my neck. "Mm, a bath sounds nice," he mumbled against my skin, lifting me up into his arms, carrying me bridal-style into the bathroom, shutting the door behind us. He leaned his face down, kissing my lips.

Noah set me down on the edge of the tub, reaching down and turning the water on. He placed his hand under the faucet, making sure the water was warm enough. I stood up, pulling my shirt over my head. I paused for a moment, deciding to pull my shoes off first. There was nothing worse than being completely naked except for shoes or socks.

Noah followed my example, pulling his clothes off and left them on the bathroom floor. I turned, opening the closet, finding two fluffy robes. I pulled them out, setting them on the sink counter for when we were finished. Then, I stepped into the tub, feeling Noah's eyes on me the whole time.

I sat down in the tub, the water coming to just below my collarbones. Noah climbed in after me, taking a seat on the other end of the tub. He straightened his legs under the water as I did the same thing, our legs overlapping.

For some reason, I felt myself feeling nervous. I had no reason to feel nervous—he'd already seen me naked, both in his bed and just a few seconds ago. But I couldn't help it. Being alone with him like this, it was all new.

I heard Noah chuckle—I must have looked like I was concentrating hard on something. "C'mere," he said, gesturing me over with his left hand. I moved in the water, keeping the majority of my body under the water as I moved over to him, settling with my back against his chest, my head resting against his body.

Noah wrapped his arms around my waist, his head dropping down so his face was next to my neck. He began kissing my shoulder, moving up slowly. His hands moved down my body, running over my stomach before they were on my inner thighs.

I let out a small gasp, though I didn't push him away. Instead, I spread my legs a little, moaning softly as his lips latched onto my neck, his tongue running over my skin.

He ran a finger over me under water, causing me to shut my eyes as I pushed my head back against him more. "Tell me what you want, Rach," he whispered in my ear, returning his lips to my skin a moment later.

"I want you," I whispered, sitting forward. I turned around so I was facing him, wrapping my arms around his neck and pushing my lips against his. Noah was pushed back against the tub as I climbed into his lap, my legs on either side.

"Rach, wait. I need…condom," he murmured against my lips, his hands moving to my waist.

I pulled away for a second, looking down at him. "Why? I'm dying, Noah. What's the point of using protection when I'm not going to be around long enough to experience any consequences of having unprotected sex?" I asked, the reality of my words hitting me. It didn't matter if we used a condom or not. I was dying, so I might as well enjoy the few things I still could to the most.

I positioned myself over him, lowering myself so his tip was just at my entrance. I gave him a look, arching an eyebrow to see if he was going to protest. He responded by kissing me, which I took as the go ahead. I lowered myself onto him, moaning against his lips as I did so.

I started rocking back and forth in the water on top of him, my arms wrapped tightly around his neck. I pulled my lips away from his, my face still close to his. I get out a small gasp as he held me closer, starting to move his lips with mine.

My chest was pressed against his as he moved his lips back to my neck, his hips continuing their movements.

"Oh, yes," I gasped. "Oh, right there. That's perfect, baby," I murmured, speeding up my own movements, my fingers intertwined in his hair. "Oh god, Noah. I love you," I gasped, my fingers digging into his shoulder.

"Come on, baby. Cum for me," Noah whispered into my ear before placing a kiss on my collarbone. "You know you want to."

I rocked my hips back and forth faster, feeling my heart speed up and my breath quicken. "Oh, yes!" I gasped. "Yes, god, fuck!" I screamed as the pleasure came over me. I felt Noah come inside me as he buried his face into my neck, groaning against my skin. We both continued moving until our orgasms ended. We continued sitting in the water for a few moments before I climbed off his lap, feeling dirtier than before I'd gotten in the bath.

I climbed out of the water, grabbing the robe from the counter and pulled it on, tying the belt around my waist. Noah climbed out after me and I handed him his robe. He kissed my forehead, smiling a little. I tied the belt around his waist, hugging him tightly.

"Oh, and Rach?" he asked, looking down at me.

"Yeah?" I asked, my face still a bit flushed.

"Love you too."