Pairing(s): Onesided?KaiShin, Onesided SonokoKid Oo

Characters: Kudou Shinichi, Kaitou Kid, Suzuki Sonoko

Rating: K

Warnings: Crack. Pure crack.

A/N: This, and many of the following drabbles are complete crack and stupidity. Apparently me trying to free myself from writer's block results in this. I apologize ahead of time for subjecting you all to it.

Kidnapped!

words: 673

Shinichi sat on the thinly carpeted floor, face completely deadpan. His arms were tied behind his back, but not uncomfortably so. In fact, he'd go so far as to say that the only reason he wasn't comfortable was that his back was aching a bit from not being able to lean against anything, since he'd been left to sit in the middle of the room. Ahead of him were a pair of five paneled, glass, french doors, open, that lead onto a slim balcony. Beyond the balcony the city glowed, unaware that the Great Detective of the East had been kidnapped and tied up on someone's floor.

Then Kid dropped down, almost in slow motion, with his cape fluttering dramatically, and the light pinging off the lens of his monocle, to land with nary a sound on the balcony railing. The tilt of Kid's hat was jaunty, and the thief sent him a rakish grin before giving a little hop, and dropping to the floor of the balcony itself.

Kid strode forward, a slow majestic walk that was meant to emphasize his grandeur, Shinichi was sure, and said, "I'm here to save you, Tantei-kun!" even as he held his hands up in a dramatic 'look at me!' gesture.

"I don't need saving," Shinichi shot back, annoyed.

Apparently his lack of swooning at the arrival of his 'hero' threw Kid off as the thief stopped and blinked at him. "But, I was sent a note saying that I needed to rescue you. And you are tied up."

"I'm not a damsel in distress," growled Shinichi, and was about to explain that he wasn't tied up very well anyway, and could escape whenever he wanted when someone stomped their foot down hard enough to make their presence known.

Shinichi didn't turn to look, knowing it was just his 'kidnapper.'

Kid seemed to be ignoring them in favor of Shinichi as well, and whined, "But, Tantei-kun! I came here to rescue you!" The thief even had the audacity to cross his arms and pout.

Behind Shinichi, Sonoko gave a shrill cackle that she apparently thought passed for an evil laugh. "And now that I've lured you into my trap, you will never escape Kaitou Kid-sama! I will keep you hear by holding your beloved Tantei-kun as a hostage until you agree to be with me forever!"

"And then we'll escape via the window in proper dramatic fashion," Kid explained, apparently trying to coerce Shinichi into agreeing with him. "After which we'll have a romantic kiss under the moonlight. Or maybe that should happen before we leap from the balcony, and while I'm holding you for the plunge."

"–then we'll get married, and honeymoon in Venice where I will change you, and you'll give up your dastardly criminals ways just for me. Except when you need them to save me, of course."

A tick had developed in his eye as the two carried on: Sonoko with her Villainous Monologue on her Plan to capture Kid's heart away from him (Since when did he have that anyway?!), while Kid explained the proper way to exit a scene like this. Finally fed up, Shinichi kicked out with his leg and sent a, sadly, very soft throw pillow hurtling at Kid. The pillow smacked the thief hard enough in the stomach to make him double over with a whoosh of expelled air.

"Tantei-kuuuun," Kid whined, giving him the same look one would expect from a wounded puppy.

"Get lost!" Shinichi barked, in annoyance. "I don't need rescuing, Sonoko isn't dangerous, and I certainly don't need romantic rescuing."

With a few twists he had his arms freed, and was standing and marching toward the door. Sonoko hadn't even noticed. Kid, however, followed him like an absurd shadow. "Well, how about that kiss then? I did come to your rescue regardless."

"No!"

Shinichi didn't care if Ran liked Sonoko or not, he was never going near her again.