GreenEyedGirl10
A/N This should answer some questions, allay some fears and move things along a bit.
It's short because I wanted to get this on the system before leaving for a long leg.
Thanks for the reviews, even from the haters…lol
Armor-Plated-Rat
Naples, FL
28 June 2009
January 11
San Pedro Hospital
6pm
Chuck was in surgery when Sarah arrived at the hospital. At first they would not tell her anything. No information at all. She knew she could flash her ID and claim national security matter but that might compromise the cover Casey and Chuck had prepared.
She finally saw a group of Customs Officers standing around drinking coffee and consoling the families of the fallen officers.
She approached the group and asked if anyone knew where her boyfriend Chuck Bartowski was.
"So that's his name? Bartowski. Worth knowing and remembering. He's in surgery. Got sliced up pretty bad but he brought down the scumbag who killed four agents and hurt his partner. Threw him off a catwalk onto the deck. Bad assed dude."
"Where's his partner? Can I see him?"
"He's in one of the exam rooms. Lucky he was wearing a vest. Bar- well, whoever he was, took his off because it was slowing him down. Good thing, too. Enough shit down there to poison the West coast. It was closer than I like to think."
She found Casey being wrapped after an X-ray. "Casey, how bad is it?"
"Couple of cracked ribs, that's all."
"Damn it, Casey, I meant the asset. He's in surgery. What happened?"
"He got stuck pretty good. Sliced the crap out of his forearm, some muscle damage, no nerve damage though. His stomach's going to need a lot of stitches. Some muscles compromised. Some therapy. He should be out of surgery in a couple of hours."
When they brought him to the room from recovery all the Customs Agents filed in and made sure she didn't need anything. Apparently they'd adopted Chuck as one of their own. She wasn't sure but she thought he might be embarrassed by all the fuss. His tray table contained the business cards of all the agents and two new caps and a note saying all he had to do was call if he needed anything.
She started to reevaluate her plan. She knew he'd freak out if he regained consciousness and she was there, hanging onto his hand, crying her eyes out. She'd been so afraid for him. The hasty report, the cry of pain, the shots then the scream and then silence. She'd never been so afraid for someone else in her life. And then she had misunderstood Casey's comments and thought he was dead. Her whole world collapsed and she had cried for all she'd lost and all she'd never have.
She would tell him as soon as he was coherent enough to understand. She would not waste one more second. He needed to know. She needed to tell him. And she needed to explain the whole mess at the Drake.
The doctor came in and explained things in great detail. There was extensive damage to the abdominal muscles and wall but no compromise to any organ. He'd lost a lot of blood and the replacement would take a few hours. He'd sleep most of the time and any movement would be exceedingly painful so muscle relaxants and pain medication were also prescribed IM as required.
Under no circumstances was he to become excited because of the nature of his injury and the extensive tearing. The doctor intended keeping him sedated and loaded on pain meds until discharge.
She knew she couldn't be here when he awoke. She kissed him softly and left. He'd be home soon enough.
They released Bartowski from the hospital on January 17 and Casey was there to drive him back to his apartment in Burbank. For the past 6 days the only visitors Chuck had were a string of US Customs Agents calling to pay their respects and learn whatever unclassified information they could to avoid similar problems in the future. The loss of four Customs Agents was a blow to the units and the respect they showed Bartowski was genuine but in his drugged state he saw it as thinly veiled contempt that their fellow officers were dead and a coward like him was alive.
Casey came by twice, once because his cracked rib was indeed broken and the second time to bring him his laptop. The General wanted the entire event documented in Chuck's own words. She intended to have analysts pick it apart and try to determine how an untrained asset could take down an enemy agent and avoid a major biological disaster. She was convinced it was more than 'dumb luck'.
No one mentioned the return of Sarah Walker.
Casa Bartowski
January 17
2pm
Sarah knew that the next 2 days were critical for her and Chuck Bartowski. She had moved her things into Ellie's empty bedroom per the General's instructions. She was prepared to stay there as long as it was necessary. She had no idea how he felt about that. She knew she needed to stress that it was an order and it kept him alive and in the light. She would also make damned sure he knew it was an order she would follow willingly and with delight. She was going to explain everything to him in great detail and throw herself on his mercy.
Tomorrow was the one-month anniversary of his wife's death. She wanted to ensure that nothing spoiled it for him. If he wanted to mourn, fine. If he didn't, that was fine too.
She was scared to death she would screw this up.
Chuck was dreading going back to his apartment. The widow of one of the murdered Customs Agents had come by to see if there was anything he needed or anything she could do. She was 4 months pregnant with their first child. He could see something in her eyes that was more honest than the others who were trained to school their features and not reveal their inner thoughts. She looked at him and wondered why a coward should be alive and her husband dead. Her visit was probably the one that put iron in his resolve to bring down as many of these terrorists using the intersect as he could
He was a fool and a coward, not an agent. His arm and stomach were reminders of that. From now on he would stand in the shadows and let the real agents like Casey and the Customs officers do the work. He would provide intelligence only.
He was a coward and he knew it. So did the others. His solo mission with the war criminal in the sedan with the ashtray was a fluke, nothing more. He had screamed like a baby when he'd been slashed while his enemy absorbed a bullet to the leg as if it were nothing. He had been lucky. Damned lucky. Beckman wanted to prove it was more than that but Chuck knew the truth.
His New Year's Eve mission had also been mostly luck and the presence of a quick-witted and experienced agent.
He was a fool, a coward and a stupid little man. He could live with that for 334 more days. While he waited for Casey to come for him he took another pill and wondered again at the hows and whys of the universe.
His doctor came with a prescription for painkillers and something to help him sleep. The nurses had reported that he rarely slept through the night without several nightmares. His patient needed sleep to fully recover. He also gave Chuck a sponge rubber ball to use to rebuild the strength in his arm muscles.
Casey came in and walked with the nurse who wheeled Chuck to the elevator. Chuck had no idea he was the local hero and the female staff was quite enamored of him. A mysterious government employee who had a constant string of Customs Agents and other LEOs visiting him spurred on the creation of more elaborate scenarios, some of which would have made the young man blush.
All he wanted to do was get away and find a nice safe hole and crawl in. He was tired. He couldn't sleep. He was afraid of sleeping. He dreamed. He didn't want to dream.
Casey stopped at a pharmacy on the way back to Burbank. Bartowski had been given a string of materials for the sutured incision in his abdomen to enable him to shower and the prescriptions. The pharmacist had looked at Casey after seeing what drugs had been prescribed but knew better than to question a physician's order no matter the dosage and prescribed frequency.
He pulled up in front of the complex. He knew Walker was 'in residence' already because she'd given him the clothes Chuck wore to leave the hospital. He wondered how she was going to explain it to Bartowski. Casey figured that Bartowski's mood would improve radically when he saw his own personal Barbie doll in residence.
No wonder she asked for the mikes and cameras to be removed. Although he really didn't begrudge the kid his jollies, he'd rather not have known the providing agent personally.
He unlocked the door and handed Chuck the keys and wished him a good night. His job was done for another day. Poor Agent Walker's was just beginning.
The first thing Chuck noticed was that all the furniture was missing. At first he thought he'd been robbed but then realized that Ellie's movers had struck. Well, he didn't plan on spending much time sitting around in the apartment. He had an agenda.
Sarah had heard the door open and close. The movers had been there this morning and now there was an additional complication to an already complicated issue. They had taken Ellie's bedroom furniture, including the bed. They'd also cleaned out everything that wasn't in Chuck's room. Nice of her to exempt her brother from total humiliation. She figured she and Chuck could go shopping for furniture if he felt up to it. The sleeping arrangements would be…interesting.
Sarah came out of Chuck's room just in time to see him dry swallow a pain pill. Apparently the ride had taken its toll. He was slightly bent at the waist as if standing up straight would be painful or impossible.
She'd changed the sheets and aired out the room as best she could. Now all she had to do was get him into bed and comfortable. She planned on sitting in the chair while she went through her explanation.
Chuck looked up and saw Agent Walker coming out of his bedroom. What was she doing here? Was he hallucinating? Had he lost track and taken too many pills? And why was she in his bedroom.
"Hello, Chuck, welcome back. I'm so glad you're here. There have been some adjustments to the working relationship after your mission. Beckman and Graham both agreed you need to be… accompanied more. So, I was detailed to become your roommate. If you want to lie down, I'll explain everything in detail."
Chuck was speechless. The poor girl was now required to be with him apparently 24/7. This must be torture for her. How could Beckman and Graham be so cruel? Surely their 'greater good' did not require such an extreme sacrifice as the one Agent Walker was making. The look on his face flowed from surprise to anger and finally to despair.
"Chuck, please say something. Please." She was on the verge of tears again. She was practically shaking. She was shocked to realize she was afraid of his reaction and response. Green light. Red light. Start. Stop. Come. Go. Accept. Reject. Would he reject her?
"Why are they doing this to you? Why are they punishing you? You don't want to be here. You want to be with - with whatshisname. I'm sorry if you told me his name and I've forgotten. But I remember what you said. And I'm so sorry, Sarah. So very sorry."
Sarah thought he was going to cry for her. He looked so forlorn all of a sudden. It must be the medication. He's seems so lost. So unconnected with anything. It must be the meds.
She walked over to him and put her arms around him being careful of all his injuries. "Chuck, whatshisname is you, Chuck Bartowski. Director Graham is my foster father. I've pulled strings. No surveillance in the apartment. No listening devices. You're free when you're here and so am I. I know it's too soon for you, Chuck, but I'm patient. I'll wait. Please don't give up on us. I love you. I'm in love with you. I know it seems impossible but it's true. And I know you feel something for me. I know it. That's why I asked for this extended assignment and why I won't leave, no matter what."
Chuck looked down at her and smiled. It was too soon. But he couldn't deny her. He'd need help with that. Would she help?
"Sarah, what I feel is so buried right now in guilt and despair over Lynn and the people I let down on the freighter. Please, just, just… I'm so fucked up right now. I don't deserve…I'm just so damned tired. I can't sleep. I don't want to sleep. I'm afraid to sleep anymore."
What was he talking about? Guilt over his wife not even dead a month I can understand but letting people on the freighter down? He was their hero. How could he not know? And what, he doesn't deserve to be happy? He doesn't deserve me? Oh, Chuck, you have no idea.
"Sarah, what I need right now at this moment in time is for you to be patient. It's too soon for me to love another. But time heals. I don't know how long it will take. If you're still here and still feel the same…"
"You're the only person I've thought of since New Years. I couldn't bring myself to say your name, just used pronouns but I always knew 'she' was you, Sarah Whateveryournamereallyis. I always knew. And I missed you. I hope that's enough for now because it's all I can give."
"Come on, come with me. You need to rest and I'll just lay there and keep the demons away. Nothing will hurt you, Chuck. I promised you on the beach, remember? You're all I have now. Those Customs agents, you're their hero. You should see what they left for you. You saved a whole city, Chuck. A whole city. Graham and Beckman send their best wishes and congratulations on a job very well done."
She took him by the hand and led him into his bedroom. Their bedroom, Chuck and Lynn's and Chuck and Sarah's. She knew it was too soon for another when his heart was still healing from the loss of one he'd plan to spend his life with. But she was patient.
She would settle first for friendship and companionship and let nature take her course. No pressure. They had time. She would take him off the grid if and when necessary.
But first she had to deal with more practical matters like getting a man who couldn't bend normally without pain naked.
"Chuck, I have a really important question for you. Think very carefully before answering because the results of your answer will final. Ready for the question?"
"Y-y-yes?"
"How attached are you to this t-shirt?"
"Wha-wah-what?" He looked shocked. It wasn't what he expected the question to be.
"Not very, why?"
Sarah just smiled and reached behind her and pulled out a pair of scissors and gently pulled the t-shirt loose from his dockers. "Because, my love…" she started snipping the fabric from the bottom slowly up to mid-abdomen…"I don't want to hurt you by making you reach up to remove it." She snipped up to the neck. "And this is the simplest way to do it. Now turn around while I cut up the back. We'll have to see about button-up shirts for a while."
"Um, you want to do the honors?" she said, gesturing at his dockers. She was afraid if the just started undoing them he might freak out. He looked skittish as it was.
Once he was down to boxers, she helped him lie down carefully and covered him with a sheet. "Chuck, promise me you'll never take off your vest again, please. It's the only thing I'll ask you to promise me for a while. Baby steps. OK? Now, promise me, please."
"I promise, Sarah. I'll keep on my vest. But what about showering?" He knew what she meant and he knew what it to her. Baby steps.
"Don't make light of a promise to me, Chuck. You don't do it to others, do you? I don't want something like this to happen again. The vest would have protected you. Please promise me." She was lying beside him, not touching but leaning over his face.
"I promise."
"Good. Now take a nap. Ellie took everything but what's in this room. When you feel up to it, we'll go shopping. And I want to see about getting an office space someplace near your company, Chuck. Remember, it's more than a cover for me, it's a commitment to you, to us."
Chuck blushed and suddenly looked uncomfortable. Sarah seized on it and felt maybe the commitment thing was a bit much for him now although it was true.
"Before you look for an office near the company, what's wrong with the office across the hall from mine? I've even put your name on the door, Sarah. 'Sarah Whateverhernameis, V/P of Finance & Administration'. Or was I being presumptuous? You get to pick your own furnishings and stuff. I just had the computer cables run out and left since I didn't know where you wanted things. You can look elsewhere if you'd feel uncomf…mmphfff"
She stopped his rambling with a brief closed-mouth kiss, just a hit of pressure and promise. It also allowed her to center her emotions a bit.
"Feeling pretty sure of yourself there, sport. What if I hadn't come back?"
"The I would have run a personals ad asking for anyone named Sarah Whateverhernameis to apply for a job. I'd already got the nameplate. Waste not, want not."
"Idiot. Now, sleep. I'll be right here keeping the dream dragons at bay. I told you, I'm not going anywhere. And I love the idea of being able to just walk across the hall and see you. It will make a lot of things easier. Especially once the Castle is finished." Actually, she was thinking about how convenient it would be for hot makeout sessions. She'd have to make sure Chuck's office had a couch. Sarah Walker was on a mission of her own.
Chuck is dreaming…
I run past two dead Customs Agents laying near the gangway. They've been shot. I see where the NK agent has ducked into another companionway and start to follow, dumping my vest that is slowing me down and breaking my promise. I run down a flight of stairs and jump onto the metal grating that forms the deck of each level. I draw my weapon and push off the safety. My phone is on vibrate and I look at the caller ID – S. Walker – and answer it but don't say anything.
"You broke your promise to me, Chuck. You took off your vest. You're going to die now. I warned you but you never listen, you stupid little man. Don't come back, Chuck. I won't be here."
I don't have time for this now. I see the NK agent across from me on the catwalk. He draws his weapon and throws it over the railing. He reaches behind him and draws out a Katana and starts waving it around.
I shoot the NK agent 5 times in the chest. He goes down. I am amazed I hit him at all. I fumble to eject the clip and take a new one from my belt. I look up and see the NK agent slicing down towards me with his sword. I scream as the blade slices through cloth and flesh and bone. I look at the stump of my arm. My hand is lying on the deck.
"You're dead. I shot you five times." I shout in his face, weakening as my life blood spurts from the stump.
"Stupid little man, I wear a vest." And he slices the sword diagonally across my belly and my guts fall out all over the grating like a huge coiled and bloody snake.
I broke my promise to Sarah and now I'm dying. Fair is fair. I can't put them back no matter how hard I try they just keep slipping from my grip and finally…wake up, it's only a dream. Wake up, I'm here.
Sarah watched Chuck dream. Suddenly he screamed and grabbed his stomach, frantically clawing at the sheet trying to pull it up like it was something else entirely.
She grabbed his wrists to keep him from possibly tearing his staples out, and she shouted to him that it was only a dream, that he was safe and she was there. She pinned his arms straight down along his sides and straddled him hoping to calm him down enough to awaken.
She could feel his body begin to lose its tension and she released his wrists and got off the bed and went into bathroom and got a damp cloth. She wiped the sweat from him and that seemed to awaken him.
"Chuck, it was only a dream. You're ok, you're with me. Take deep breaths and relax. Calm down."
Sarah had experiences with nightmares. She knew she had to get him to open up and recount the dream as quickly as possible to confront the underlying causes.
"Chuck, wake up for me. Here, take a sip of water. Please wake up." She piled all the pillows left against the headboard and helped him ease himself into a semi-sitting position. "Tell me about the dream, Chuck. Please. We can work together to stop the worst of the nightmares if you just tell me about."
"I was back in the ship chasing the agent. I dropped the vest and ran after him and followed him below decks. I was about to shoot him when you called me and told me I was going to die because I broke my promise about the vest and not to come back because you were leaving."
"I shot the NK 5 times in the chest and he went down. I listened to you yell at me for being a stupid little man and then he cut off my hand with a sword. He was wearing a vest. I wasn't. He cut me open and my guts were all over the deck and I couldn't put them back, Sarah. But it was fitting since I broke my promise. I warned you I was screwed up, Sarah. I didn't mean to break my promise."
Sarah sat up beside him and put her arms around him. "It was only a dream, Chuck. You haven't broken your promise to me. It was just a horrible dream. Talk to me, please, Chuck. What other dreams have you been having? We can help each other by talking them out. Believe me, I have some whopper nightmares. You wait. My turn will come. It always does for people in our business."
"You mean I'll get to throw a bucket of water over, don't you? There is no way I'm going to sit on you and hold your wrists down. You might kill me with an eyelash or maim me with an ear lobe. I'll be standing way over there."
"You throw water on me, Charles Irving Bartowski, and you better sleep with one eye open." She had missed the funny Chuck.
"Sarah, if I hadn't gotten hurt would you be here?"
Ah, the dreaded question. "Yes, well, maybe not right here in this bed but Chuck when you were reporting your situation on the ship to Casey, Chuck, that was me on the phone calling from the airport to tell you I was back home and asking for a ride. And I heard your report and what followed and I thought you were dead and then I heard Casey's voice saying put the body on the deck it was yours, and I just fell apart. I thought I'd lost my chance, that I'd never get to tell you how I felt and to tell you how sorry I was for my yelling on New Years and I just started screaming your name in the airport."
"I think your answer would be 'yes', Sarah. Please, it's ok. I understand. I just don't want to be an obligation or burden to anyone. Especially not to you."
"Let me spell this out for you in simple terms. I love you. I want to be with you. Living here with you is not an obligation, it is my dream. I am taking advantage of the NSA and CIA by using them to get what I want. No, not what. Who. You. I even have plans for us to escape together if those bastards ever try to sanction you or imprison you. I have money, Chuck, a lot of money. We will be able to disappear. You're going to have to give up Ellie, though. Once we go off the grid, there's no contact. None at all. You're dead to her. If you can't accept that then it's a no-go and I'll think of something else. You understand now, surfer boy?"
"I understand. There are some things you need to understand, little Miss CIA Agent."
"So, tell me. Let's get all the dirty shit out from under the bed and deal with it so we can move forward, Mr. Bartowski." She smirked and figured it would be a short conversation.
"I have a BugOut plan of my own. I've got about ¾ of it in place. Understand, Sarah, I will not be in some hole in the ground. I'll make you guys kill me first. That's a promise I would never break. I will not be imprisoned. Ever."
"Damn it, Chuck, I'm not 'you guys'. I'm an agent of the CIA as long as it doesn't interfere with us. US, you big dolt, is Chuck and Sarah. I'll get a warning from the Director. Family ties. And we run, Chuck. We find each other and we run."
She couldn't help herself. She snuggled closer to him and took his hand in hers. "Tomorrow, when you feel better, and have had some decent sleep, I want to go over your plan. You think of things most people don't. And we'll have to make sure there's room for me in it…" She looked up at him, her eyes asking the question she really meant.
"There's always room for you, Sarah. Especially now."
"So, anything else?"
"Yeah, about Ellie. I doubt I'll ever see my sister again. I pushed her hard and it blew up in my face. All that shit we did and hid back when the foster system was hunting for me came to the surface and she didn't handle it well. Her last complete sentence was "I hate your fucking guts, Chuck."
"Oh, baby, she'll come around. Give her time. Did you give her the name of the shrink I recommended?
"Yep. That's what started the war, that and the fact that she sabotaged every relationship she's ever had and tried to do the same with me. I love my sister, Sarah, but I don't like her anymore. Does that make sense to you?"
"More than you'll ever know. We both have skeletons and dark places in our lives. Maybe together we can get rid of some of them at least. And no, I'm no suggesting couples counseling, Chuck. We don't need that. At least not for years yet. Now, you feel relaxed and calm enough to go back to sleep?"
"Yeah, thanks, Sarah. I'm glad we're here. Watch TV if you want. Noise doesn't bother me. Just no chick flicks, please."
'I'm glad we're here.' Those words brought tears to her eyes. She needed to get a grip on her emotions. She couldn't help him if every time he spoke some fundamental truth it made her cry. She hadn't been this happy in years. Tears of joy and happiness had been sorely lacking in her life. She intended to change that. She looked at the clock and decided he needed sleep more than food. They'd be roughing it for a while. At least she'd rescued the take-out menus from the movers.
EndGreenEyedGirl10