I focused. Let the adrenaline fill my system. Let myself become who I once was. Speed. Only speed.

I aimed a kick at the Gizoid's head. It ducked just in time and sprang back at me with a punch. I dove out of the way and landed on my hands, doing a back flip, and kicking my legs at the Gizoid. It copied my maneuver and hit my face.

Blood trickled down my cheek. The Gizoid had copied Knuckles' strength. I spat blood out of my mouth and focused again. The Gizoid pulled a long, slender stick out from some compartment of his mechanical body. He moved the stick around like a baton, only much faster, deflecting each kick I thrust at him. I hissed in aggravation. Well, I didn't. But Dark did. Despite how crazy it sounds, I was letting part of her battle along with me. I didn't like letting her have even the slightest bit of control over my body, but I knew I couldn't win this battle alone. Knuckles had been thrown against a rock, knocking him unconscious, and the others were still trying to locate us in these caves.

I cast a worried look over at Knux.

Pay attention! Dark screeched.

The Gizoid hit my leg with the stick, causing me to yelp in pain and fall to the floor. He snapped the stick against my back again and again, until I whirled around and grabbed the stick with my hand.

Bad decision.

He lifted the stick, and me, up off the ground and threw it across the room and into the cave wall. I groaned in pain as I smacked against the wall. The Gizoid simply pulled out another stick.

I bit my lip. This guy wasn't giving up easy. I was going to have to use an old trick of Sonic's.

Oh, great. Well, now we're doomed. Dark sighed.

I jumped to my feet.

Speed. Speed. Only speed.

I took off, running around and around and around the Gizoid, creating a whirlwind of dust around him. There was no way he could find me now.

Suddenly a hand shot out and grabbed me, pulling me down to the ground.

I coughed out sand and looked up, startled. How could the Gizoid…?

He copies powers, you dumbass. Even yours. He's just as fast as you now. Dark rolled her eyes.

And…he has Knuckles' strength. I realized.

Dark's eyes widened. Shit. She grumbled.

I had to agree with her.

The Gizoid flew at me, his speed equal to mine now. I dodged the stick just in time and punched him in the side. He whacked me in the face, sending me flying across the cave room. Blood was dripping like sweat from my face.

Let me take over. Dark said.

In your dreams. I snarled, wiping away the blood that had run down into my eyes.

Dark smirked. You sound more like me every day.

I sighed. Much as I hated to admit it…she was right.

I'm still not letting you take over. I told her.

Well, then at least get the damn Chaos Emerald. She scoffed.

I'm working on it. I watched the Gizoid closely as he whirled his stick around again and looked into my eyes. It was no use, though. He was next to me in an instant, and even my reflexes were no match for his strength. My head cracked against a rock and my eyesight blurred.

"Ughh…" I moaned.

Focus! Dark tensed.

What do you think I'm trying to do?!

Star, let me take over.

No.

I'm not kidding, he's gonna kill you.

I've figured that out, thank you very much! I panted.

The Gizoid was walking closer and closer, and despite the fact that he had no real eyes, I swore I saw bloodlust in them.

Starlight, let me take over! Dark, for once, was serious.

No! You won't let me regain control!

You wanna live, don't you?!

Maybe I don't deserve to live!

Yeah, but who gives a damn? I want to live! Dark exclaimed.

Suddenly, she spotted the Chaos Emerald in the hand of the Gizoid. She was suddenly thinking furiously.

What are you-? I tried to see what she was doing.

She slammed down a wall.

I was on my own.

The Gizoid was suddenly upon me. I dodged the first two punches, but I could hardly see a thing. He hit me again and again. I was losing consciousness, I knew it.

Dark suddenly reappeared. Grab the Chaos Emerald! She shouted.

Wha…? I slurred, everything out of proportion, pain shooting through my head.

For God's sake! Dark leapt through the barrier of my control and I was thrown to the back of my own mind. She was in control now.

She aimed a ruthless kick at the Gizoid, sending him sprawling backward. She took the split second chance and grabbed the Chaos Emerald.

As soon as her-our- fingers touched the emerald a very odd sensation flew through us. Like air being sucked into your lungs, only it filled the whole body. And it felt terrible. Sick.

"ARGHHHH!" Dark cried and darkness flew through the room, blowing out the light from the torches on the walls. It was cold. So cold. I couldn't see a single thing.

Dark! What are you doing? I cried out, struggling to take over again. But I was so weak.

But…Dark was weakening too. Which was strange. I had never felt her weak before. I felt her trying desperately to hold on to whatever kind of power she had just summoned, but I could feel it fading.

I summoned up the little strength I had left. I kept only one thing in my mind. Knuckles. I had to get back to him. That was all that mattered.

I shattered the barrier of control again, and sent Dark sprawling back. She was unconscious, meaning my head was silent, other than my own thoughts. Which was amazing.

I felt a tiny bit of the Chaos energy still circulating through my veins. I furrowed my brow in thought.

Suddenly, the fire from the torches flared up again. I blinked from the sudden light and gazed around the room. The Giozoid was in pieces, in a heap on the floor. I scrunched my eyebrows, my eyesight still blurred. There was something shiny. Yes, definitely metal. I slowly followed the slender arch of the object. It became bigger and longer. I blinked again, straining to see. It looked like a claw.

Wait…a claw?

I looked up, to see a blurred Knuckles standing there, his shovel claw piercing straight through the Gizoid's chest.

Then his eyes turned towards me.

He was over to me in an instant.

"Star, Star, you okay?" He nudged me gently, putting his arms around me.

I blinked again. Yep, I was definitely losing consciousness.

I sighed and turned to Knuckles. "I'm fine. Just don't tell Sonic I lost to a single Gizoid. Tell him it was an army of them."

Knuckles chuckled, and hoisted me onto his back gently, carrying me out of the cave, just as I sank into a deep sleep.

***********

My eyelids fluttered open.

Morning, dumbass.

Ugh… She was back.

"Morning, Star." A deep, gravelly voice.

Much better.

I slowly rose to my knees. "Morning, Knuckles." I smiled.

"Sure you're all right? You had quite a battle there. You look awful." He smiled back at me, sympathetically, wiping away a bead of sweat on my brow.

I nodded, looking around. "How long have I been out? And, where are we?"

"You were out for about an hour. We're in another cave room, though I don't think this one belongs to the Gizoids. The others are still trying to find us. The Chaos transmission from the cave system is apparently throwing off Tails' tracker. Or at least, that's what he told me when I managed to get contact with him about thirty minutes ago." Knuckles replied, rummaging through a satchel.

I nodded again, sighing. I was still tired.

"Want something to eat?" He asked me.

My ears perked up and my stomach rumbled, as if in response.

Knuckles grinned his crooked smile, causing my heart to jump all over the place again. "I guess that's a yes, then." He said.

"Mmm-hmm." I mumbled, already biting into the sandwich he had passed me.

He started fooling with the transmitter again, so I took the chance to speak to Dark.

Don't think I've forgotten what happened earlier. I told her.

Look, I don't even half way know what happened. She replied.

Sure, whatever. I rolled my eyes.

But you weren't named Starlight for nothing. Dark snickered.

Why does it always have to be riddles with you? I asked her, aggravated.

'Cause it's fun knowing that I know something you don't and that you aren't strong enough to look through my thoughts and find out. Dark smiled smugly.

You just wait. I told her.

Uh, I've been waiting for quite a while now, Star.

Shut up.

I turned back to Knuckles. "When do you think the others will get here?" I asked.

"Probably another thirty minutes. Sorry, but I don't know how to make this thing work any better." He pointed at the transmitter.

"It's fine. But…it's kinda cold in here."

Dark rolled her eyes. She knew what I was up too.

So did Knuckles. He chuckled and took me into his arms. I cuddled against his chest. This was the only escape I ever had. I always enjoyed it as much as I could.

But, of course, it only lasted so long.

**********

I jumped when I felt a humongous crash from behind us. We whirled around.

Shadow stood there, the cave wall blown to bits. "Sorry." He muttered, no expression on his face, but I knew there was jealousy in his eyes. I saw him looking at Knuckles and I.

"About time." Knuckles jumped to his feet, slapping a high five with Tails, who had walked in.

"Yeah…" Tails laughed sheepishly. "Sorry 'bout that."

"Hey, sis, I- woah. What the hell happened to you?" Sonic looked at me with wide eyes.

"I was attacked by Gizoids. Er, an army of them." I told him.

Sonic raised an eyebrow but shrugged. "Well, we set up a camp outside. We're gonna be staying here for the night 'cause Tails still needs to sort out some things."

"We're going to be missing another day of school? Crap, Ms. Worthington's gonna kill me." Blaze sighed.

"Who cares? It's school!" Sonic told her.

"Well, unlike some people, I actually wanna graduate!" Blaze shot back at him.

"Whatever." Sonic rolled his eyes and turned back to me, grinning. "So, you can take one of the tents. I gotta go help Tails. 'Catch ya kids later!" He called and zipped away.

I walked over to the camp, exhausted, my feet dragging beneath me. I fell into one of the tents and was asleep within seconds.

************

But, of course, not for long.

I woke up around midnight, having had another too vivid dream. I sighed, crawling out of my sleeping bag and silently unzipping the tent. I had nothing better to do than go explore. There was no chance of me falling back asleep without Knux, who still hadn't come back from the little excursion with Tails and Sonic.

I walked out into the darkness, my quills becoming bathed in the moonlight that filtered down through the trees, hitting my emerald eyes so that they shone like crystals. I wrapped a blanket tight around my shoulders. It was getting colder, closer to winter. I had never liked winter that much.

Dark was dosing, though she never fully fell asleep. She was always half-way conscious, an ear perked up, listening to my every thought, my every move.

There is no escape.

There wasn't. And, let's face it, it sucked. Big time.

I kept walking, slowly, too tired to run, but too awake to go back to the tent. I kept my eyes on my feet, taking one step in front of the other. I counted my steps. One, two, three, four…

I must have walked like that for miles, losing complete track of time, location, everything. I felt empty, yet so whole, that everything ached, both literally and figuratively. I wanted to go home. My real home.

But, home was different now. Home was with Knuckles and the others. And though I loved it there, and I loved them, there was still a big missing piece. Sometimes I wasn't even sure if it was my parents. Just something was wrong. With me. With my past. With my present. And, if I didn't change, my future.

I stopped when I made my way to a lake. The water rippled with the late evening breeze, shining like a million tiny diamonds, as the moonlight stroked the surface. As I gazed at my reflection, I found, there were only parts I recognized. My quills and fur. Same color, just a bit dirty. My clothes. The same thing I had always worn. But, my eyes…they didn't sparkle. Not the way they used to. When I thought of Knuckles, they brightened considerably more, but there was still a big, gaping hole in them. Guilt, regret, anger, all holding a grudge against myself.

I crumpled down to my knees, lying down beside the lake bed, the water washing up and caressing my toes. I didn't start crying, I just lay there, just searching desperately. What was wrong with me? Why couldn't I move on? That's what people did. They were sad for a while, then they forgot, learned to forgive themselves, moved on. But I wasn't like that. And I didn't understand.

"Star?" A deep voice, but my heart sank when I realized it wasn't Knuckles.

"Hi, Shadow." I whispered, my voice nearly dying away with the wind.

He walked slowly over to me. "What are you doing?" He was quiet as well, his fiery eyes gazing over the lake.

I didn't look up at him, but answered him. "I'm thinking."

"What about?" I felt Shadow's eyes turn to me, but I let mine linger on the filmy surface of the lake.

"Me. Why I'm here. Why I…It doesn't matter." I turned away, laying my head down on the bank, and closing my eyes.

Shadow was quiet for a minute, then said "Why are you with him? Knuckles, I mean."

"Why do you care so much?" I sighed.

"Because, obviously, it doesn't make you happy. I'm not jealous, I just don't understand." He replied.

"Of course you don't understand. And of course, you're jealous because if you weren't you would see that I love Knuckles more than I've ever loved anyone else." I snapped at him, though I kept my eyes closed.

Shadow sighed. "Starlight," he said gently. "He can't heal you."

Somehow, his words didn't surprise me at all. This was Shadow, after all. "I know that." I answered.

"Then why do you think he can?"

Finally, I turned to look up at him. "Because I don't have any other choice, Shadow. I can't heal myself, I can't fix myself, I can't forgive myself. But Knuckles at least makes the pain numb for a while."

"You can't live your life numb, Star."

"Once again, what other choice do I have?"

I turned away again.

"At least come back to camp. It's cold out here. And…Knuckles will be back soon." Shadow told me.

"I'll catch up."

Shadow didn't move a muscle.

"You're not going to leave, are you?" I asked him.

"No."

No. Of course not.

I rose to my feet. "Fine. I'll come back."

I walked over to him, looking at him straight in the eyes. I stood tall, covering my weakness.

I gazed at him for a bit longer, then turned away, and began walking.

His arm shot out, grabbing mine. "Starlight." Was all he said.

I looked back at him, not saying a word.

He was a silhouette, as the moonlight hit his back. He really was a shadow now.

He pressed his lips hard against mine. Funny as it seemed, I, again, wasn't surprised.

But it wasn't right. I let him kiss me for a minute, then pulled away.

"Don't make me do this, Shadow. Don't do this to yourself. You know it isn't right. I belong with Knuckles and you, well, you belong with who you belong with. But not me."

I walked up the hill, then turned back for one last look.

"Goodbye, Shadow." I said.

Dang, that was a long chapter! Anyways, sorry about the slow update, this week was soooo busy! Hope you enjoyed!