A/N: Finally I've completed Map Your Own Destiny! This fic will now have most of my attention, yay! Keep an eye out for "Forgotten" my next UsaxSei fic.
Sorry you got two updates for this, noticed a MAJOR flaw that I had to go back and fix (flashback wise)
Chapter Ten: Loneliness
Yaten and Taiki had left early in the morning, not wishing to alert their leader. Yaten had protested mildly, but Taiki had explained why they should just let things be. Taiki had a reason for everything.
One. Seiya would have a huge fit. They didn't want Seiya to be introduced to Yatens' parents, at least not yet. Seiya was rowdy, loud and quite frankly, obnoxious. Sure, Seiya had known Yaten when they were younger, and it hadn't been a problem. But they were older now, and Seiya hadn't changed. In fact, Seiya was still as childish as ever. Taiki wondered if she'd ever grow up.
-Flashback-
"Leader...when exactly do you plan on acting your age?" Maker said with a sigh, not looking up from her book at her leader, who had been attempting to sneak up and scare her. Psht, as if anything would start-
"AHH! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!" Maker screeched. Strong arms crushed themselves around her. She heard Fighter giggle, felt her breath against her neck and ear. Fighter smelled like the night air. She had returned from her late night patrol.
"Starling you, of course." The arms released her. Maker was panting, but why? Had she REALLY been scared? No, she hadn't. Nothing could scare her! Her leader had just choked the breath out of her. Yes. Her breath had been taken away as soon as she heard Fighter's giggle. Wait, why did a giggle take her breath away? Why was nothing making sense?
"Careful, Maker. Don't go trying to solve the puzzles of the universe in one day." Fighter teased, giving a gentle tug to Maker's ponytail. Maker shuddered as it sent an electric feeling up her spine. She slammed her book closed and glared over her shoulder, at the very amused looking Fighter.
"What was that for?" Maker demanded, an icy twinge to her voice. Fighter hardly noticed her tone. In fact, Fighter merely shrugged.
"I dunno. Felt like it?" Fighter said, scratching the back of her head with a nervous laugh.
That idiot. That irritating, irresponsible, childish, infuriating, inconsiderate, idiot. Who was now leaning in close to her, a mischievous glint in her eyes. Would this sad excuse for a leader ever grow up?
"Wanna do something?" Fighter asked challengingly.
"Fighter, it's nearly midnight. It is time to sleep."
Fighter whined. "But I'm bored!"
"Go to sleep, and you won't be bored."
"But I'm too bored to sleep!"
Maker's eyebrow ticked in annoyance. Just like a small child.
"And what exactly would we do?" Maker asked, somewhat haughtily. This seemed to catch Fighter off guard.
"You mean, you'll hang out with me?" Fighter asked in shock.
"Maybe."
"You're cruel!" Fighter whined. Maker smirked slightly. It was fun riling Fighter up.
"I never claimed I wasn't.."
"That's alright! I know better! I know deeeeep down, underneath all your silly little layers, your a kind, caring person that loves me!"
"Isn't that taking it a little far?" Maker asked, finally standing up. Fighter grinned cockily at her.
Uh oh. This can't be good.
"Well..."
Nope. This definitely wouldn't be good. Maker proceeded to think of ways to escape. She could clearly see the doorway over the top of Fighter's head. It wasn't hard to see over her head, after all. Shorty. Haha..Fighter's short.
"What's so funny!" Fighter complained, hands on hips. Oooh, leader mode, is it?
"Your height."
"Huh?" Fighter gave Maker a deer in headlights look.
"..Midget" Maker said, pushing past Fighter.
"Oi! Just because I'm not so tall they had to heighten the doorways doesn't give you bragging rights!"
Maker twitched. Figher gulped. Uh oh. Maker was angry. Maker was never angry. Maker was the calmest, coolest tempered out of the starlights. Fighter was beginning to fear for her life. Maker's twitch became faster, and constant. Fighter's heart rate quickened.
"Maker..I.." Fighter said. And then she heard it. It sounded strangled. Maker's shoulders were shaking.
"Kyee..."
Fighter's eyebrows furrowed together and her eyes closed. Maker was laughing at her.
"Strange girl." Fighter said cockily, shaking her head and walking out.
-End Flashback-
Why had Taiki suddenly remembered that pointless memory? Maybe it was something about what she was thinking about that had triggered it. ..How pointless.
What had she been thinking about again? Oh yeah. Reasons why the two of them left without telling Seiya. Taiki glanced at her companion, who just stared blankly out the window of the train.
Two. Seiya had been sound asleep. Yaten had been oblivious..but Taiki knew of the nightmares that had been plaguing Seiya of late. Seeing her resting so peacefully.. Taiki didn't want to disrupt that.
Three. She was avoiding Seiya. Well, not necessarily, but things between them had gotten plain weird lately. Taiki wanted this break as an opportunity to sort out her feelings. Wait, what feelings? Feelings.. of worry over her friend? Maybe. But..the feelings...were the same as that night...
-Flashback-
It was right before the Honors Ball. She had been nervous about dancing. Seiya had offered to dance with her, so she would feel more confident if the opportunity presented itself at the ball.
Taiki chanced a glance up down at Seiya, her dance partner, who had her head tilted to the side, eyes closed. She looked stunning that evening. Seiya never looked 'pretty' in the common sense, as she was far too boyish for that. But..when Taiki saw her cleaned up, her hair well brushed, she was nothing short of breath taking.
Currently, Seiya's head was resting on Taiki's shoulder, just above her breast. Taiki felt a strange sense of calm and protection like this. It was so nice having a friend this close. A small smile played on Seiya's face- of pure happiness and contentment. Seiya's head slipped a little lower, and Taiki blushed darkly in embarrassment as Seiya's cheek rubbed slightly against her breast. Seiya picked her head up, and stared Taiki down with her intense eyes.
In that small exchange, Taiki felt herself over come with emotion. Emotion..something she'd often pushed aside. So many, many times, something she'd pushed aside. It wasn't important. It clouded your judgement..it..it..
She couldn't think, damnit! Not with Seiya looking at her, that gentle expression on her face. She had to get out of her, had to get out. She suddenly felt like she was suffocating from her own thoughts. Suffocating from this atmosphere..suffocating from Seiya.
"Let's go." she said coldly, walking towards the door. She did not turn to see how her actions affected Seiya.
-End Flashback-
Why..did it feel like she was always choking when she was around Seiya? Why..did her breath always catch at the sight of Seiya in something other than her usual athletic based apparel? Why...did she find herself gawking at Seiya, unable to remove her gaze, when Seiya changed in front of her so opnely in their room, as if it were nothing?
Why did Taiki find the need to hide her blush when Seiya did?
These thoughts would drive her mad. She turned to her companion, starting up a pointless conversation. Anything to get her mind off Seiya.
-Unknown location:
Princess Kakyuu's eyes slid open. Her head pounded horribly within itself. She couldn't see. Panic settled in.
Have I gone blind?
She tried to move, but her muscles refused to comply. Her limbs felt heavy. She was alone, in her dark nothingness. She let out an agonized cry within her mind, hoping to be heard. She needed to be heard.
Seiya's head snapped up. A shrill cry echoed in her ears. She looked around, her father obviously hadn't heard anything. It was probably just a dream.. the kind you get when your half asleep. Seiya adjusted herself on the couch and closed her eyes. Waves of weariness hit her. She felt her body becoming heavy as she submit to sleep.
Crying. Where? Seiya opened her eyes. But saw nothing. She opened her mouth to call out, but no words would form.
"Where...where are you?"
She searched with her mind, with her heart, with her soul. Far, far away..she felt someone. She reached out, and was stunned by the response.
"Fighter..is that you?"
"I am Sailor Star Fighter, yes." She said coldly. So, the enemy could attack in your dreams now, too? She'd have to be careful.
"I'm glad."
"Nani?" Fighter asked, having been caught off guard.
"I'm alone."
"How can you be alone? I'm here."
"Now, you are..but before.."
More sobs were heard. Fighter struggled to see, but saw nothing. She only heard.
"But, now I'm here. So, why are you crying?"
"I'm scared."
"Of what?" Fighter inquired. This voice, this lovely, melodic voice was strangely familiar, but she couldn't place it. She was growing more certain that it didn't belong to an enemy, however.
"Everything."
For some reason, Fighter found this response incredibly disheartening.
"Why did you call out to me?" Fighter asked.
"Because you would listen."
"Isn't there anyone else?"
"There are two others. They cannot hear me. Their hearts are closed."
"And mine isn't? How is it not closed?"
"You are not hiding. You are not in denial. You have accepted what is to come."
Fighter hmph'd.
"So, who are these other two?"
A laugh. "You know them."
"I wouldn't be so sure."
"Hoshi no senshi."
Fighter gasped.
"Healer..Maker?" Fighter said, her voice a whispered question.
"None other. Why will they not hear me?"
"I..I do not know."
"Make them hear me."
"Why me?"
"You are their leader."
"I know that..but..just..why?"
"Surely you can't be that clueless?"
"Who are you, anyways?"
"...Princess Kakyuu."
"..Kakyuu..ouhi?" Fighter sputtered.
"Who else would call out for the leader of the starlights?"
"Are you alright?" Fighter asked, suddenly concerned.
"I think so. I cannot see, I cannot hear. I cannot move."
"Where are you?" Fighter asked, worriedly.
"I don't know."
"How can I find you?"
"I...I'm not sure."
"Princess! I can't hear you well anymore!..Princess?"
"We shall meet again, dearest starlight..."
"PRINCESS!"
Seiya bolted awake. Sweat poured down her face. She struggled to catch her breath once more. What on Kinmoku was that? It wasn't a dream. Was she hallucinating? Was she going crazy? Surely, she couldn't be.
Then again, talking to her 'princess', while half out of it, when they were so far away, she certainly had lost it, hadn't she? She sat up, and something fluttered to her lap. She held it up. It was a small orange flower, osmanthus to be exact. It smelled sweet. It smelled like her. Her princess.
Maybe she wasn't delusional, after all. Seiya closed her eyes tightly. Now would be a good time to test out Healer's empath powers. Yaten needed to know, it was possible to contact their princess..if you open your heart to her..
"Healer!"
Nothing. Seiya took a deep breath, blocking out all external thoughts.
"Sailor Star Healer! Answer me, right now."
"Ahh!" Yaten whimpered, clutching her head as a voice boomed heavily in it.
"Doshita no?" Taiki asked. Yaten was suddenly acting like a crazy person. Yaten let go of her head, eyes flashing angrily as she sent a message back to Seiya.
"WHAT DO YOU WANT?"
Seiya winced. Why was Yaten in such a miserable mood, anyways?
"I heard her! I spoke to her..our ouhi.."
"...What?"
Seiya was about to elaborate, when she felt the connection be cut off curtly. She tried and tried to reach Healer, but Healer had closed off the connection. Seiya grumbled angrily. Yaten's heart was closed off, after all.
Yaten collapsed to the ground, as she remembered the strength of her empath skills.
"Yaten! Yaten!" Taiki shouted worriedly. She had seen Seiya do the same. What in Tankei Kingdom was happening to her comrades lately?
-Flashback-
"Healer, are you alright?" Maker asked gently, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder. Healer smiled, becoming slightly relaxed at this gesture. She hated being touched..but when Maker did it..
"I'm fine. It's just hard. So many feelings flying around right now. I can feel each and every one of them. It's excruciating at times. I can hear the voices, too."
"Healer..I don't know what you experience..however, can you just ignore it? Block it all out?" Maker suggested.
Healer shook her head sadly.
"I've..tried. I try, all the time. It doesn't help. Sometimes, I can't even sleep. I can see other people's dreams, their nightmares.." Healer's voice was a whisper.
She felt Maker's arms embrace her in a hug. Healer hated physical contact. Upon physical contact, that person's feelings, thoughts, emotions, everything rushed into her body as if they were her own. She didn't mind..when Maker hugged her. Maker was internally calm, and quiet. In fact, when Maker hugged her..she felt..nothing. She heard, nothing. Blissful silence. That's what Maker was to her...respite. Maker began to pull away, and the horde of bombarding thoughts and feelings returned.
"No.." Healer whispered. Maker looked at her in shock.
"What is it?"
"Don't..let go."
"I thought you hated being touched?"
"Because then.. I can feel everything that person if feeling. Their thoughts take over my mind."
"Forgive me." Maker said, backing away.
"Matte!"
Maker blinked like an owl at Healer.
"Your heart is still."
Maker continued to stare dumbly at Healer.
"When your thoughts and feelings wash over me, the others go away. And it's just silence."
Now Maker understood. She smiled gently, and set next to Healer, pulling the smaller girl into her arms. Healer made a small protest, but stopped as the stillness took over once more. Her eyes fluttered closed, and she fell into blissful sleep, Maker's heart as her lullaby. What she would give to fall asleep like this, every night..
-End Flashback-
Yaten woke up, and saw Taiki's concerned lilac eyes gazing at her.
"Are you okay?"
"I'm fine. Thanks." Taiki gave her a look that said "Sure you are." but, she left it be. Before long they were at Yaten's house, having a good time. Taiki decided she liked Yaten's parents- they were good people, really.
Seiya stretched and cracked her joints. She'd deal with Yaten when they came back from break. For now, she'd find something to occupy herself.
"Seiya! Can you come mop the floor?" Her father's voice called. Seiya groaned internally. Back for not even a day, and he was putting her to work? No way! She slipped out the window just as her father entered the room. She heard him calling after her for a few minutes before giving up. With a mischievous giggle, she walked away from the wreck she called 'home' and towards the park, where she was bound to have fun. Upon arriving, she saw some old friends she used to have.
No one she had been that close to, but they were playmates, at least. With a large grin on her face, she ran to join them in whatever sport they were playing.
Kakyuu sighed heavily. She was exhausted from her long distance communication with Fighter. Had it been Healer, who had empath powers, it would have been less stressful, but Healer wouldn't answer her call. She did not despair, however.
"It is the stars who light up the blackest of nights. My solitude shall end soon." was her trailing thought as she lost consciousness, perhaps in sleep, perhaps not. It was impossible to tell. Maybe she had been asleep the whole time.
That night, as usual, Taiki dreamed of Fighter. Of their past lives.
-Flashback-
Maker stepped out onto the balcony. She often did, around this time at night. Usually, Fighter was there, waiting for her. Tonight was no different. As she approached, she noticed something was different, however. Fighter's shoulders were drawn up, head bowed down. Maker placed a gentle hand on her back.
"Hey."
Fighter looked up, but not at Maker. Instead, her gaze fell on the stars. Fighter gripped the railing tightly. Had it been made out of a weaker material, Maker was certain Fighter's grip would have broken it to pierces.
"Tell me, Fighter."
Maker knew there was something wrong. There just had to be. Otherwise, Fighter would be flirting shamelessly, or teasing her. Or just being a silly goof. Anything but this dead silence. Maker smiled wryly within herself. Fighter's silence was much like her own, quiet suffering.
"Maker..what would you do..if you loved someone...that couldn't return your affections?" Fighter asked, her voice hardly above a whisper. She tilted her head towards Maker, only slightly. Tears sparkled within her eyes. Maker's breath caught in her throat. There was only one person that couldn't return Fighter's affections..their princess.
"I would not love someone who wouldn't return my affections. Actually, I would not love at all. Love isn't part of our duty." Maker said, colder than she intended. Fighter's head drooped again, and she let out several choked sobs.
Maker, you are a fool. That isn't what you meant... not at all..she scolded herself.
What she meant to say...was...
"I can't understand your position..we're not supposed to love..so I don't. I don't understand. I can't feel your pain. I-I wish.. I knew, Fighter. But I do not. I..I wish I felt. Anything. I think I am becoming a lonesome soldier."
That was what she meant. But that didn't matter, because Fighter had leapt up ontop of the railing. She chanced a glance back at Maker, her expression hidden by the shadows.
"I know. I am no soldier. I am not fit to be a leader." Fighter whispered, her voice constricted by her pain. A second later, and she had jumped down to the garden below. Maker leaned on the railing, looking down at her.
"I would follow you to the ends of the universe, Leader..."
A/N: So how's that? I hope this story's the kind that you just can't stop reading! I'm trying to put lots of tension/feelings into this story. Up until recently, I think it's been sadly lacking. From here on out, I'm kicking it up a gear in quality. Please review and let me know what you think.