Sorry for the delay, I know I promised this would be updated soon, but I got caught in my other story. And recently, I'm glad to announce, I have a job!!!!!! This means that I had to move and was off-line for a while, but I am now back on track and should be updating on a more regular basis in the near future! Thanks for sticking with me!!!

FYI, in this story Bella was hit by the car in the parking lot that first day. She is currently trapped between the van and her truck. She has agreed to become a vampire and is saying her last goodbyes, before the venom takes over.

Forgive the typos, I wanted to get this up since I haven't posted for so long!

Heartache

I was roused by Edward's gentle touch. His fingers on my face were slightly warm. I knew it was a bad sign, but I couldn't remember why. It took a couple tries to open my eyes, it felt like I had lead weights weighing them down.

"Easy does it, Bella. You're father's here to talk to you." Edward's clear voice whispered in my ear. It took me a moment to register what he said. "She's going fast, sir," Edward said to my father. "I recommend you make this conversation brief."

I heard Edward's step shuffle away and my father step closer. "Bella?" My father's voice was choked up and it made it all that much harder for me to answer.

"Yeah," I managed to choke out.

"Um...I tried to get a hold of your mother, but her cell phone just goes to voice mail and the mailbox is full."

"She proba…she probably lost…her charger…again." I couldn't get enough air to speak and everything was hurting.

My father chuckled at my statement. "Probably, do you have anything you want me to tell her?"

I couldn't think of how to sum up my feeling in a sentence, so I went for a cliché. "Yeah, tell her…tell her I love her more than…than life itself and tell her... tell her I'm sorry I couldn't say goodbye." I could see the tears in my father's eyes and I struggled to hold back my own.

There was a period of silence where neither of us knew what to say, until I broke the silence. "Dr. Cullen told me there was nothing he could do." My father nodded. "He said…he said he would try and ease the pain of my passing, but that it would be…well violent." My father nodded again. "I don't want you here for that, Dad."

My father's head popped up and his eyes filled with sadness. "Bella…I know I haven't-"

"No, Dad," I cut him off before he said anything that would hurt us both worse. "You don't understand, it's not that I don't want you there because I don't love you…it's because I love you that I don't want you here. I don't want you to remember me like that, this is bad enough."

"I'm a sheriff, Bella. I've seen many accident victims…"

"I know, but none of them was me. I don't want you here, I don't want anyone here." Except Edward, but that will be negotiated later…

Charlie just nodded. "I understand, but I'd still like to be there with you."

"No, Dad, I don't want anyone there."

"You don't have to brave on this, Bella, no one will think less of you."

"I'm not trying to be brave. I just don't want to be remembered like this." My father nodded in silence compliance. It seemed that I had overcome that hurdle. "Um, Dad?"

"Yes?"

"I was thinking…well since there is so much damage and I don't want to be separated from you or Mom…well, I was hoping to be cremated so that my ashes can be divided between my loved ones."

My father was silent as I watched the tears roll down his cheeks. He slowly nodded his head and choked out, "Sure, Bella, anything you want."

"Thanks…" I tried to swallow, but my tongue felt like it took up all of my mouth and I ended up gasping for breath. I coughed as I finished my statement, "…Dad."

Edward appeared in front of me as I continued to cough. He tried to stabilize my body as the coughs racked through me.

"Bella, Bella," Edward's voice flowed over me. "I'm going to take the brace off your neck and slowly lean your head back." Edward was very gentle as he helped me. I could feel my throat and mouth clearing and my coughing stopped.

"Is she okay? What's the matter?" My father's panic was evident in his voice.

"What going on?" Dr. Cullen had entered the tent and was directing his questioning to Edward.

"She's having trouble swallowing. It induced a coughing fit. It's calmed down now, but I had to tilt her head back to clear her throat. I think she has much longer."

Dr. Cullen nodded as he approached. He looked at my eyes and felt my throat as Edward continued to hold my head back. "I believe you're right, son. Can you retrieve my bag by the tent door?" Edward nodded and waited for Carlisle to support my head until he left to fetch the bag.

"What's going on?" My father asked again.

"She's going into shock. The loss of blood is making it hard for her brain to function and her vital organs will start shutting down. I'm going to give her a pain killer."

"Will it hurt?" My father voiced my question.

Dr. Cullen paused before answering. "It might. If it's alright with Bella I'm going to ask to have the cars moved. That way it will be quick and the pain killer will make her more comfortable. Do you want to get a priest to administer the last rights?"

"Uh…well, I believe Reverend Johnson is outside, giving comfort to the other students. I'll ask him to come in." Charlie left the tent as Edward entered with Carlisle's bag.

Carlisle gave him a stern look and Edward shook his head, "Don't yell at me, I couldn't get away. The crowd is desperate for news."

Carlisle sighed and took the bag from Edward, then turned his attention back to me. "Bella, are you still with me?"

"Yes," I answered through labored breathing.

"Do you feel anything in your legs?"

I had to think about it, but now that he mentioned it my toes did seem to feel warm, which was odd, because the rest of me felt as cold as ice. "Yeah…they're…warm."

Carlisle nodded as Edward switched places with him so that Edward could hold my head back and Dr. Cullen could look through his bag. "That's good Bella, it means the venom is working. I'm going to go ahead and give you the second shot of venom in your arm and a heavy dose of morphine. We've never tried this before, so we don't know if it will work to numb the pain. Try not to scream."

"Okay," I felt his hand on my arm and I winced as I felt the needle puncture my skin. My whole body seemed to be both extra sensitive and numb at the same time. Any little movement hurt, but nothing responded like I thought it should.

"That should do it. Did you set everything with your father?" Dr. Cullen asked.

"Yes…he…he was great." I could feel the liquid of the injection moving through my veins. It was the first thing I could really feel in hours, it was so warm and comforting, my whole body relaxed. I saw the tent flaps open again and my father and the town preacher came in.

"You better make this fast, Reverend, she won't last long." Carlisle told him. Reverend Johnson nodded and approached. He motioned for Edward to step back, but I clutched at Edward's wrist with a death grip. I would not let him leave me now.

There seemed to be some confusion in the tent, but I suddenly didn't care as pain raced through my body. My fist clenched around Edward's hand and I couldn't catch my breath. I lost all sense of presence. I thought I heard the preachers melodic voice and what sounded like my father's protest, but I was too concerned with clutching Edward's hand for comfort and keeping my mouth shut, for fear my heart would jump out of my throat.

The world spun away. The pain was the only thing I could think of and when it suddenly doubled I was thrown even farther into the black abyss. It became my entire world. I lay still as the pain engulfed me, trying to count my heartbeats, waiting for the pain to subside, but I couldn't remember why…I couldn't remember anything besides pain, how could there be anything besides pain?