Roderich shoves me down just before the bullet can hit me and grunts, almost falling on top of me.
"LIECHTENSTEIN! Are you all right?"
Big Brother pulls me out from underneath Roderich, who had been in a sexy crouching injured position.
"I'm fine, Big Brother." I push out of his arms and run over to see what's wrong with Roderich.
A dark burn mark on on his jacket on his left shoulder shows where the bullet swiped into him. The bullet had fallen to the floor rather than lodging itself in Roderich's flesh, but the wound still appears to be rather deep. A dark brown stain begins to crawl outward from the bullet hole.
I immediately rush to find the first-aid kit. Big Brother had also taught me how to dress wounds, especially gun wounds. Brother clenches his fists as I remove his jacket and shirts - AGAIN, to my delight - for the purpose of cleaning and bandaging the wound this time.
Roderich stifles his moans of pain. Even Big Brother cannot remain this quiet when injured.
What a man.
"Big Brother, look what you did. How could you do this to Austria, of all people?"
"How couldn't I? After he took advantage of you-"
"He did NOT take advantage of me! I took advantage of him! I got him stranded at this principality so that he would have to stay here for the night. I cuff-linked him to my bed so he couldn't escape. I ripped his clothes off to play with him. I poured chocolate all over him... and..."
I begin to tear up, thinking about what a rotten and naughty girl I had been. Roderich deserves better than this.
He took a bullet for me.
"Big Brother... he's just so... BEAUTIFUL, from the inside out! He saved me, didn't you catch that?"
"It's nothing any gentleman wouldn't do for any lady," Roderich says, wincing slightly in his incompletely treated pain.
"Why do you always have to be at odds against him all the time? He clearly LOVES you!"
"Um, well, love is a strong word, but I do appreciate all you have done to help me and my people out," Roderich says, his eyes looking especially sparkly - or maybe that's because he's beginning to tear up in pain.
"Yeah, well, what have you done to help me in turn?" Big brother crosses his arms and turns his back on him.
"Well, it appears that, thanks to me, your sister is unharmed on account of a grave error of yours."
"Which would have been all YOUR fault for seducing her in the first place!"
"Well, I could not help winning her heart, I did everything I could to discourage such behavior of hers..."
"Well you obviously didn't try hard enough, you pussy!"
I hold my hand out to hold my brother back from putting his hands on Roderich, whom I press down so he doesn't further injure himself out of trying to hold off my brother.
"Listen, Big Brother. What's past is past. I am not a little girl anymore, and I am free to make my own decisions with regards to matters of the heart, and nothing that I do can be blamed on him or anyone else. My sweet Roderich clearly admires you, as you have done so much to help him out over the years, and the best way for him to pay you back is for him to be your friend, but that cannot happen unless you allow it. So what do you say?"
I know the look on Big Brother's face as he stares down. His cold banker's mind is calculating all the dues that Roderich owes him and weighing them against all of the times that the Austrian had treated us to a nice meal or such. I sigh. If only he wouldn't think of everything in terms of bank balances and such...
"Well, I guess you have more or less paid off all of your dues with all of those free lunches, and, well, you did pledge neutrality... now, as long as you don't join any stupid new group that the other countries come up with..."
Big Brother pushes me aside and takes the bandages. "Now, HERE is how you dress a bullet wound..."
After Roderich is all fixed up, Big Brother thumbs through his wallet and says, "So... how about I treat you to a nice coffee?"
"But Big Brother, you hate coffee!"
Roderich whispers to me. "Just between you and me, he likes it nearly as much as I do."
"And afterwards I can treat you to a pleasant evening at my place?" Roderich says to Big Brother.
"Hmm... I'm not one much for fancy music and stuff..." but he catches Roderich's wink and agrees.
It's nice to see Big Brother and my lovely Roderich cooperating for once!
Still, I burn and swoon in Roderich's sparkling presence...