A/N: Thanks again for stopping by and reading along!
The Hood has gotten over 420 reviews, and my little stoner heart couldn't be happier. In celebration of that, I have agreed to do another EPOV/outtake. There is a poll up on my profile so you can vote for what EPOV you would like to see. I'll leave the poll up for another couple of days before starting on the outtake. Last I checked there was a tie, so go vote!!
Big thanks as always to my master-beta Lexiecullen17. She puts up with all my insanely awful mistakes and makes this shiz sparkle like an emo vamp. Thanks also to HunterHunting for prereading this and sprinkling her hysterically enjoyable comments all over it. It almost physically pains me when I need to delete them so I can post the chaps. sigh. Oh! and a special thanks to my partner in crime, Laraisawkward who came out of her school imposed hibernation to preread as well. I heart them all so much.
Also - the awesome Linzzer220 is hosting a read-a-long of The Hood on 5/10 over on Twitter. I'm sure I'll update before then and will toss out another reminder - but just wanted to get it out there so I don't forget (you know how those smoke filled minds tend to be a bit forgetful, ha!). Thanks so much girl! xo
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters, I just enjoy getting them high...
Thanksgiving break goes by fast. It's filled with lots of food, stupid football games that make Charlie happy, and a few more hangouts at the Hood. One time, we all sit around eating an amazing turkey pot pie that Aro's mom made with leftovers. The boys can't stop laughing over the word "pot," and I just roll my eyes, and savor the flaky treat. Edward and I seem to be back to normal...whatever the hell that is. Anytime his fingers touch my skin, I get this delicious buzz all over my body, and the moment his lips meet mine, the damn twingles start up again. I'm really enjoying the twingles. The mini-break from school isn't all tasty snacks and stolen kisses with my boyfriend, however. While I somehow manage to avoid the Black Friday sales with Alice, she still finagles me into some shopping on the Sunday before we head back to school. Despite bracing myself for the shopping extravaganza I know is to come, I clearly am not prepared for how awkward it can get.
"So, weren't the cheekie's awesome? Did Edward love them?" she asks as she tears through the racks of Macy's for something worthwhile.
"Oh, um...yeah?" I sputter out, knowing that I actually really hated them but don't want to hurt Alice's feelings.
"Yeah, they were awesome? Or yeah, Edward loved them?" she asks, trying to get clarification.
"They were kind of awesome, I guess..." I mumble, trailing off. "..you know, when they weren't wedged up my ass."
"What?" Alice calls out, popping her head out from a pile of clothes she's sorting through.
"They were great, Alice. But, um...Edward hasn't had a chance to see them yet."
She drops the shirt she's holding and looks up at me.
"Why not? Did he do something totally lame so you didn't want to put out?" she asks, shaking her head. "Ugh, that reminds me of this one time with Jasper when he thought it would be funny to start blowing raspberries on my belly, but then he started laughing because it reminded him of farts. And well, lets just say the mood was ruined, so I wasn't able to..."
"No, no, no!" I interrupt her, waving my hands for emphasis because, really, I don't want to know what was ruined.
Alice keeps talking though, and I instinctively cover up my ears, not really wanting to hear any details. I don't want to think of Jasper or Alice like that, and while I'm happy they apparently have a healthy sex life, I don't need a front row seat to it. At all. Although, I realize I'm kind of jealous, because at least they have some sort of sex life. Edward and I seem to have stalled. I debate asking Alice about it, but then I realize she'll probably bring up what she and Jasper do, and I'm just not ready to hear that. I can hopefully figure that stuff out on my own.
"I really don't want to hear about your sex life, Alice," I plead, hoping she'll shut up.
Alice looks up at me, her eyes crinkling as she bursts out laughing.
"What's so funny?" I ask, thinking that it seems perfectly normal to not want to hear about your friends' sexual exploits.
"Oh, Bella," Alice says with a shake of her head. "Come on."
She drops the clothes she's holding right there and grabs my hand, dragging me out of the store and towards the mall's food court. After piling a tray high with some french fries, an Orange Julius, two egg rolls and some fried rice, Alice steers me towards some seats somewhat apart from everyone else.
"So?" I ask while stuffing some fries in my mouth. "What's the deal?"
"I wasn't going to talk about my sex life in the middle of Macy's," Alice admonishes, and I blanch, not wanting to have this talk.
I especially don't want to have this talk as Alice starts wrapping her lips around her egg roll, making extremely questionable sounds. She finally finishes the damn thing and daintily wipes her lips and fingers with a napkin.
"Mmm...that was good. Okay, now where were we?"
Damn. Apparently this is going to happen, and I'm going to have to sit here and listen to Alice tell me all about her perfect sex life with Jasper. And I'm not even stoned.
"Oh, right," Alice continues as if I've answered her. "So, you were saying how you didn't want to hear about my sex life."
Alice starts laughing again, and I really wish she would clue me in on what's so freaking funny. She must notice my grumpy face because she stops laughing.
"Aw, don't get upset. I'm not laughing at you, Bella. I promise. I'm mostly laughing at me. This is sort of ridiculous. I..." she trails off before looking at me, her eyes suddenly hard and serious.
"I can trust you, Bella, can't I? I mean, I know I can. But...you won't judge me, right?"
I shake my head, reassuring her that she can tell me anything.
"Before Jasper and I met, I sort of had this reputation as well...a slut. I fucking hate that word because I wasn't really a slut. I just couldn't find a guy that I really clicked with, you know? But a girl's got needs...and so, I never had any problems filling them." She shrugs and looks down at her food.
"Alice, it's okay. I don't think you're a slut or whatever," I tell her.
She perks back up and looks at me, her face filled with hope.
"Thanks, Bella. I mean. I'm okay with the decisions I made. I...I'm not a virgin," she says quietly. "And I'm okay with that. And Jas knows too, and he...he's okay with it as well, even though..."
"Even though, what?" I ask, curious.
"Even though he's a virgin," she whispers quickly.
Whoa. Jasper's a virgin? I'm speechless. For some reason, I always assumed he's had a ton of sex. He's just so comfortable with himself, and when he's with Alice they're always so lovey dovey. I wonder if this means that Edward's also never had sex. That thought sort of relieves me and terrifies me at the same time, but now is not the time to dwell on it. Alice is looking at me, clearly needing to talk some more.
"So, anyway. Jasper's special. I know this, and I don't want to screw it up. We haven't actually done it. So, when you mentioned our sex life, I couldn't help but laugh. We don't really have one."
I let out a breath, happy to hear that my friend is in the same boat as me. Well, not so much happy as relieved. But before I can bask in it, Alice keeps talking, her face suddenly flushing.
"I mean, it's not like we don't do anything, though. I may be taking things slow with the whole sex thing, but that doesn't mean we can't have fun. There are tons of other ways to make each other feel good...really good. Jasper does this crazy things with his fingers that just make my toes curl, and I know he loves it when I blow..."
"STOP!" I shout, garnering a few concerned looks from random people nearby.
"I...I really don't need to hear that. I just...yeah. Please?" I beg, hoping Alice understands.
She chuckles before nodding her head. I take a soothing sip of Orange Julius as Alice begins speaking again.
"Sorry. I kind of have no filter when it comes to the whole TMI thing. But, promise me we'll have a girl's night soon, okay? We can talk more then."
I gulp, nodding my head to be polite but internally cringing at the thought. Thankfully, Alice's attention turns towards shopping, and soon we're back to sifting through stacks of clothes. After three more grueling hours of trolling the mall, I'm back home, fixing up some turkey-tortilla soup. I spend the rest of the night turning our leftovers into various meals, so that we'll just have to reheat stuff during the week. I get the rest of my homework out of the way and go to sleep early, completely exhausted from my whirlwind day with Alice. She's certainly given me plenty to think about.
Returning to school is a blessing and a curse all at once. I feel busier than ever, since teachers are trying to cram projects, papers and tests in before winter break hits us in a few weeks. On the flip side, I get to see Edward every single day, and that helps. I make it to the end of the week somehow, knowing that tonight I'm going over to Edward's after school to study and then have dinner. I may have overheard him tell Jasper that his parents have some sort of dinner date, so they won't be home, and my mind is in overdrive thinking about what we'll be doing, especially after my conversation with Alice earlier in the week. My overactive imagination is suddenly brought to a halt, however, by Mrs. Cope's loud voice.
"Don't forget to wear school colors next Monday in honor of spirit week. Show your pride through your clothes!" Mrs. Cope trills, reading the list of announcements during homeroom.
As much as I think homeroom is a giant waste of time, I'm lucky that my day starts off with Mrs. Cope. She doesn't mind if somebody uses the fifteen minutes to finish up an assignment, catch up on some sleep or chat quietly with friends, as long as well all stand to say the Pledge of Allegiance and listen to the daily announcements she needs to read. I zone out a bit while she runs down her list of supposedly important reminders and only perk up when she mentions something about an assembly.
"For all the seniors in here, please note that instead of first period, you will be reporting to the auditorium for a mandatory assembly. This assembly will last for two class periods, so afterwards you will head directly to third period. Please be on time, as the assembly will begin at first bell."
Another assembly? A groan escapes my mouth as I remember the last one we had only a few weeks prior. I'm finally past my little trip to crazytown the previous assembly sent me on, and there's no need for a repeat. At. All. I wrack my brain, trying to remember what the heck this one is about, but I can't really recall. It's apparently a big deal because they decide to block off the first two periods of the day. I look over at Mike, who happens to be in my homeroom to see if he knows anything, but he just shrugs. When the bell rings, I grab my stuff and head over to the auditorium, whispering a prayer that this will be relatively painless.
I get there just in time to see Jasper, Edward and Aro standing around chatting. Edward waves me over with a smile, so I walk towards them, happy to have found my friends before we head in. Edward wraps his arm around me, and I snuggle in, threading my arm around his waist.
"Can you believe this?" laughs Jasper. "This is going to be so awesome."
"What?" I ask.
"This assembly. It's going to be fucking amazing. I am stoked I get to miss Calculus for this! Do you think they'll have pictures? Or video? That would perfection!" Jasper jumps around excitedly like somebody added crack to his Cocoa Puffs this morning.
"What are you talking about?" I push, feeling a bit irritated that I'm not in the know.
"Sex ed, dude!" shouts Jasper, a bit too loudly, and holds his hand up for a high five.
I give him my best, 'are you for real,' look before Aro feels bad and slaps his hand, causing Jasper to grin like a fool.
"They have some chick come in from some group, and she tells us all about sex stuff. I think they give out condoms and shit, too. I really hope she puts one on a banana."
"Dude," Edward says with a shake of his head. "You are way too excited for this shit. It's probably going to be boring as hell with some nurse or something, talking all clinically about how sex is bad and we shouldn't do it."
I flush, listening to Edward speak about sex, and when I finally get the courage to look up at him, he's staring back at me, looking slightly sheepish. I want to just blurt it out and ask if he's had sex before, but I'm not about to do it in front of our friends, and I'm not about to do it right before some sex assembly either. I start to think about it some more and wonder when is the right time to talk to your boyfriend about his sexual past? Like, I'm pretty sure it's not dinner conversation, and I definitely don't think it would be an appropriate way to fill the gap between doing our homework and having a snack. I'm also certain that while we're in the midst of making out, it would pretty much be a buzzkill to ask Edward whether or not he's, you know, done it before.
All these thoughts swirl around in my head as we're herded into the auditorium, we take our usual section towards the side. The place fills up pretty quickly, and it's a loud mixture of people talking rapidly, shouting across rows of seats to friends, and just general noise. Oh, and Jasper. He still won't shut up.
"I wonder if they'll give out samples?" he asks aloud to nobody in particular.
"Samples of what?" I ask, despite knowing better.
"I dunno," he shrugs. "Condoms, lube, dildos?"
He cracks up, and both Edward and Aro break into laughter as well. I just roll my eyes because I know all of this is some ridiculous front that Jasper's putting on. He's probably just as freaked about this as I am. At the same time, I certainly don't need to hear my friend use the words "dildo" and "lube" in the same sentence. Ever. Thankfully, Jasper shuts up as he covertly texts somebody, most likely Alice. Marcus finally shows up and sits next to Jasper, and we all wait for this thing to begin. I just want it to be over with already. Jasper looks like he's waiting for the Rolling Stones to take the stage, Aro and Marcus both look sort of bored and Edward just looks...like Edward. He looks calm and chill, like this is no big deal. How he manages to stay so relaxed all the time is beyond me.
Trying to distract myself, I look down towards the podium, and Mr. Jenks is standing there, beads of sweat building up on his mostly hairless head. He grabs a handkerchief from his back pocket and wipes his forehead before tapping the mike to get our attention.
"Settle down, please. Settle down. I'd like for you all to give your undivided attention to Ms. Russell. She is an educator, who came to us today from Planned Parenthood to discuss matters of sexual health."
As soon as the words leave his lips, the entire auditorium erupts into giggles. This is going to be a long two hours. We all finally settle down, and Ms. Russell takes the mic, giving us a little bit more info on her background.
"I'm here today to speak about STIs," she begins, flipping on a PowerPoint presentation where the letters STI flash up on a screen behind her in large, bold print. "STIs, or sexually transmitted infections are a reality in today's world, especially for teens. By the end of my time here with you, we will learn about the various ones you can encounter and the best way to protect yourselves from them."
Immediately, people start whispering to their friends sitting next to them. My eyes are bugging out, realizing I'm going to have to listen to somebody else talk about sex for two hours when I can't even discuss it with my best friend. I close my eyes and pray this will go quickly. Edward's sitting next to me and just looks amused. He apparently still isn't freaking out that he will have to be subjected to words like penis or vagina shortly.
Ms. Russell waits for it to be entirely silent before grabbing the microphone and walking over to the students in the front row. She asks them to count off by four.
"One."
"Two."
"Three."
"Four."
When she gets to the fourth person, she has them stand up. She continues this for an entire section, until a large group of students is standing. I have no clue what's going on, and neither does anybody else. We're all quiet, waiting for her to explain herself. She asks the students to remain standing before heading back to the podium.
"Each year, one in four teens contracts an STI. Look around you. This is just a small visual to represent that fact."
She has the students sit down, and I begin shifting uncomfortably in my seat. One in four? That sounds awfully large. I look at Edward, as if willing him to give me a sign as to his virginity status. This whole one in four statistic is making me really queasy, and I would feel much more comfortable knowing my boyfriend is a virgin, like me. I notice the big screen change up ahead as Ms. Russell begins describing the various STIs out there. I'm soon inundated with facts about various types of diseases as pictures flash across the screen, showing us herpes, chlamydia and gonorrhea.
I'm pretty sure I could have gone the rest of my life without seeing what a close up of the herpes virus looks like. I could also have stood to never hear the phrases "genital lesion," "thick, copious urethral pus discharge" and "weeping secretion" ever again. As Ms. Russell describes some of the symptoms, I notice the boys shift around in their seats, as if it actually pains their peens to listen to this. Aro even looks a bit green around the gills. After listing and describing all the different diseases you can pick up through sex, Ms. Russell changes the subject slightly.
"That looks like the fucking Blob." Marcus shudders as he stares in fear at the close up of a herpes blister. "There is no way I will dip my dick into anything that can give me that."
Jasper snorts and whispers in a high pitched voice, imitating the nurse from The Blob, "Doctor, nothing will stop it!"
We burst into laughter and are quickly hushed by a nearby teacher. Chagrined, we turn back to listen to Ms. Russell.
"Now, the best way to avoid these diseases," she says, while pointing up at the screen. "Abstinence."
A collective groan filters through the audience, and I have to stifle a laugh.
"However, it's not that simple. Studies have proven time and time again that the only way to truly prevent these diseases, especially amongst teens, is through education and knowledge. The reality is that nearly half of all teens from age fifteen to nineteen have had sex at least once. Instead of leaving you in the dark about how to prevent these diseases and just hope for the best, I'm here today to show you how to protect yourself in the best way possible aside from abstinence."
Ms. Russell's words make me feel better about this whole sex thing. I don't feel like a total freak for not having had sex yet. And if I wasn't a virgin, I don't think I'd feel like a freak either. It seems pretty well split down the middle, according to the information she shares with us. I'm hoping that once Edward and I end up having the big sex conversation that I feel looming on the horizon, we'll both be okay about it all. I almost wish Hallmark has an "I'm a virgin, what about you?" card I could give him. If only it were that easy.
I focus back on Ms. Russell as she reaches into her bag to grab a few things and lays them out onto the table next to her. I can't see what's there from where I'm sitting, but I have an idea that we're about to get a closer look. She holds up a small blue square and asks us what it is. Almost the entire audience shouts out, "Condom!"
Ms. Russell nods her head. "Good. I'm glad you all at least know what it is. I'm not surprised, however. In fact, recent surveys have shown that eighty-three percent of teen females and ninety-one percent of teen males have used contraceptives while engaging in sexual activities. Hopefully, we can continue to raise those numbers until they're at one-hundred percent."
As she's speaking, Ms. Russell takes the condom and pulls the wrapper open, explaining how it's imperative to do this part carefully, since you don't want to tear the actual condom.
"Are you going to use a banana to show us how it's done?" Jasper shouts out as everyone erupts in laughter.
I groan and slink down in my seat, praying that nobody realizes the question came from our section. Not only am I embarrassed for myself, but I'm embarrassed for Ms. Russell, but she doesn't even flinch. In fact, she hardly misses a beat before she replies.
"Sir, I think you have more important things to worry about if your penis is shaped like a banana. So, no. I will not be using a piece of produce to demonstrate the proper way in which to apply a condom."
Jasper's eyes grow wide at her response, but then his face slowly relaxes, and he's smiling.
"I like this chick," he nods approvingly before finally shutting up.
Meanwhile, down in front, Ms. Russell pulls out a wooden square and screws on something that looks like a... Oh! It's a wooden penis. She has a wooden penis in her bag. I crane my neck, wondering what else she has in there. The room grows silent as everyone stares at the contraption in her hand. They've even tinted the wood a bit so it looks...pink.
"So," Ms. Russell says. "Who wants to come down and help me explain the proper way to do this? Perhaps the young man with a fondness for fruit?"
While the entire auditorium had been bubbling with laughter and chatter only minutes ago, it's now deadly silent. They all turn at once and look at Jasper, who's right hand is shaking slightly.
"Y'all are a bunch of pussies," he whispers before he heads down to stand by Ms. Russell.
We're all watching intently as Ms. Russell instructs Jasper on the proper way to pinch the reservoir tip at the top of the condom before rolling it down the makeshift peen. I'm amazed at Jasper's control as he doesn't laugh or crack any jokes while he does this. She speaks for a bit about proper condom use and disposal before moving on. Digging into her bag again, Ms. Russell holds up another piece of contraception, but nobody seems to know what it is, including Jasper, who's just looking at it all funny like. It looks like a thin sheet of plastic wrap but firmer. Ms. Russell hands it to Jasper who stretches it and holds it up close to his face to inspect it.
"This..." begins Ms. Russell, pointing to the thing in Jasper's hands. "...is a dental damn. You can use it while performing oral sex for increased protection against STIs. This includes oral contact with both the vagina and anus."
At her words, Jasper flings the dental dam from his hands, and it lands on Jessica Stanley's lap. I burst out laughing, and thankfully a bunch more people do as well, but I immediately clap my hands over my mouth, feeling bad. Ms. Russell moves to retrieve the dental dam while Jasper just looks speechless, which is a first for him. He heads back up to his seat, shaking his head the entire time. When he makes it back to our row, Edward has his fist out, giving him a bump.
"Real smooth, man. Real smooth," he smirks.
"Fuck you, Cullen," hisses Jasper, although he doesn't seem really angry. "I'd like to see you go up there and do that shit."
I giggle, trying not to piss Jasper off any further. He turns to look at me with a playful smile.
"Oh really Bella, you want to make fun? Here!" he tosses something in my lap. "Why don't we see who does it better."
Jasper's smirk turns larger as I realize what he's flung at me. He must have grabbed a handful of condoms from the table down there because he's thrown a few of them at me. I'm now holding a Magnum XL condom in my hands. I quickly ball my hand into a fist, hiding the condom.
"Fuck you, Jasper," I spit out, embarrassed, feeling the heat creep up my neck and spread across my cheeks.
I'm this close to revealing his V-card status, but I know I'd be super hurt if anyone did that to me, so instead, I just glare at him defiantly.
"You wish," Jasper snorts, before yelping.
I glance over and see that Edward has punched Jasper in the arm, and by the looks of it, it was hard. Jasper rubs his arm while staring at Edward, who's looking right back at him.
"Fuck. Fine, whatever. I was just saying, don't mess with the master. That's all."
"Yeah, the master of your own hand," sputters Marcus, and we all laugh, whatever weird tension that was there effectively disappearing.
We turn our attention back to Ms. Russell, but not before Edward leans over to me, his warm breath tickling my ear.
"You okay?" he asks, his eyes filled with concern.
"Fine," I say, smiling up at him.
He stares at me for a few more seconds before nodding. Finally, about half an hour and some more free condoms later, the assembly is over, and everyone heads to their third period class. It's super hard to concentrate on much else besides sex, however, since everyone is buzzing about the assembly. I make it through most of the day, doing my best to ignore the crazy sex haze that has suddenly descended upon the senior class. All I can think about is that it's Friday and school is almost over as I head into Banner's class with Edward right by my side. We have a few minutes before class starts, and Edward turns around in his seat, leaning towards me.
"So, you're still coming over after school, right?" he asks, his voice low as he doodles abstractly on the cover of my Bio book.
"Of course," I nod, hoping I'm not coming across as too eager.
"Good," is Edward's short reply.
"What are we going to do?" I press, hoping he'll clue me in that his folks will be gone.
Unfortunately, that doesn't happen since he has just enough time to shrug his shoulders before Banner calls the class to attention. Pouting, I open my notebook and grumpily take notes. I debate passing Edward a note, but I don't want to get in trouble, and I'm not even sure what I would write. My mind is swirling with all the different things we might do. Maybe Edward will take me out on another date, and I get giddy at the thought. Then, another idea creeps into my head. Maybe we'll stay at his house...all alone, just the two of us. I gulp, my fingers gripping the pencil in my hand so hard it almost breaks. While my body is screaming for more of Edward's touch, my mind is currently possessed by the horrifying PowerPoint presentation it witnessed earlier. I'm unsure I'll be able to feel hot with images of herpes running through my mind.
"Bella?"
I look up, shaken out of my daydream. Staring at me is a pair of green eyes, and they look concerned.
"Do you feel okay?" Edward asks, reaching out to feel my forehead.
Awesome. I must look like shit.
"I'm fine," I reassure him, shaking off his hand. I look around and notice the bell must have rung because the class is nearly empty.
"Oh," he replies. "Good. You looked a little pale there for a second."
Of course I must look pale. I'm imagining the ten thousand different diseases that might result from your peen going anywhere near my vag. I bite my lip from allowing any of my insane internal dialogue from spilling out. Edward's hand brushes my face as his fingers pry my lip out from in between my teeth. He places a quick kiss on them.
"Please be gentle with my lips," he whispers before winking at me.
My fingers come up to my lips where his have just been, and I gently rub them as I nod, unable to say anything. How do you respond to something that fucking sweet? Instead, I stand up, grab my bag and thread my arm through Edward's as he takes me to class. I give him a quick kiss on the cheek, letting him know I'll meet him out by the cars after school. Thankfully, photography class moves quickly, and miraculously, Jasper seems pretty chill. I debate mentioning the whole virginity thing but decide I don't want to deal with the fallout if he gets pissed, so I avoid any mention of "S-E-X" all together.
Finally, the day is done, and I race out to meet Edward by our cars. He's already there, standing against my truck with his arms crossed. As I get closer, he uncurls them, opening them up to me. I rush in, giving him a huge hug. His kiss on the top of my head doesn't go unnoticed by me, and I give his chest a peck where my face is currently buried.
"So...want to head to my place?" he asks, like it's no big deal.
"Mmhmm," I nod, my face still pressed into the warmth of his jacket.
We get into our respective cars, and I follow him to his place, noticing that he drives a bit faster than usual this time. As we walk in, I see a note on his kitchen table and snatch it before he has a chance to see it. I read it aloud, much to Edward's amusement.
"Dear Edward," I begin, and I realize it's a letter from Esme. "As you know, your father and I have his work function tonight. I've left a bit early to have my nails done and will be meeting him there. I left a lasagna in the fridge. You just need to heat it up for twenty minutes at three-hundred and fifty degrees. If Bella's there, please say hi from us. And be good. Love, mom."
I look at Edward, waving the note in his face.
"What?" he asks, looking the complete picture of innocence.
"You know what," I challenge. "You knew that your parents weren't going to be home, and you didn't say anything?"
"Oh," he says, his left hand coming up to scratch the back of his head. "I just didn't want everyone knowing and thinking I was gonna throw a party or whatever bullshit. I just wanted to spend tonight...with you."
Oh.
I can feel my cheeks heat up slightly, and they only get warmer when Edward steps closer, lunging for the piece of paper in my hand. I hold on to it tightly, however, which causes him to crash into me. I can feel every inch of him.
Every. Solid. Inch.
I gulp and relinquishing the piece of paper, but he doesn't grab it, and instead, it floats down to the floor.
"The...the note..." I point out lamely, but Edward doesn't seem interested in it at all.
"Didn't want the note," he murmurs, his lips skimming up my neck.
"Oh. What did you..."
Before I'm able to even really finish my thought, Edward's lips are on mine, making it impossible for me to speak, even if I wanted to. His hands thread their way into my hair, and I fist at his shirt instinctively, pulling him closer. His tongue darts out and wets my lips before finding its way into my mouth as Edward deepens our kiss. After a few more sweeps of his tongue, he pulls back, resting his forehead against mine.
"That," he says simply as he catches his breath. "I wanted that."
"Mmm..." I sigh.
By this point, I'm reduced to a mass of quivering jelly. I run my hands up and down Edward's chest, but he backs up, pulling my hand and leading me towards the living room. He sits down lengthwise on the couch, so his legs are stretched out and his back is against the arm rest. I look around, unsure of where to sit before Edward tugs me down, and I maneuver so I'm settled between his legs. I relax against Edward, and my body molds to his. I can feel his breath as his chests rises and falls and his strong arms as they encompass me. I can also feel his giant, hard peen as it presses against my lower back. I may or may not shift slightly to feel it more. Edward's groan tells me he enjoys that move, and I smile to myself.
Then, in the span of two seconds, the crazy somehow seeps out and totally takes over. While the feel of his peen against my back is sending all sorts of twingles throughout my body, and more importantly, right between my legs, I can't get my brain to shut off. My body is screaming for Edward to just touch my vag already, but I know we need to have some sort of talk before anything big happens. I'm feeling a little more relaxed about my own virginity status after my mall-talk with Alice. Somehow, knowing that Jasper's still a virgin and that he and Alice are waiting makes it all seem less stressful. I know Edward and I will talk, and I've done my best to mentally prepared myself for whatever skanky skeletons he might have in his closet.
"Stop," Edward commands, his voice pulling me out of my thoughts.
"Huh?" I ask, but it comes out more like a sigh because his fingers are currently stroking the inside of my arms in a really intense way.
"Whatever you're thinking about so hard...Stop," he says in a quieter voice. "Please."
I nod my head and take a deep breath, doing my best to relax. It's hard, though, because every time Edward's fingers touch my bare skin, I start to feel flushed, and my heart beat accelerates rapidly. I realize my entire body has tensed up, so I lean back against him and hear how shallow his own breath is. For some reason, it's comforting. Edward moves my hair from my neck and begins rubbing my shoulders. It feels really good, and I'm impressed with how expertly he massages them. I'm rolling my neck, allowing him greater access and suppress the urge to moan aloud. I feel a tickle of his breath on my ear as he whispers.
"Let's go outside for a quick smoke."
I sit up suddenly, taken aback by his sudden change in tactic. I was just starting to feel twingles in all the right places, and he wants to go outside for a cig? I totally don't understand him. I get up, and we walk outside, sitting on Edward's back patio. I find myself wishing that there was some sort of "High School Boys For Dummies" book that I could just pick up and read through. I am pretty certain that most boys would be jumping at the chance at having their girlfriend all alone with no parents or friends around, and yet instead of jumping me, here we are, sitting outside.
I look over at Edward, expecting to see him rolling a cig, but instead, he's packing a bowl. He looks up at me with a shrug.
"It's Friday, we're not going to be doing any homework, and you're here for a bit...right?"
It's sweet that he remembers that I don't like to drive while high, and I nod, indicating that I'll be staying a while and am game for a little toke. He hands me the bowl and hovers over me, shielding me from the cold breeze that whips past us, so I can light it. I quickly light it and inhale, blowing the smoke away from us and watch it mingle with the dark green pine needles as it swirls up to the sky before disappearing. Edward takes the bowl from me and hits it before we pass it back and forth a couple more times.
"Better?" he asks me, and I realize that any tension I'd been holding in my body is gone, so I nod.
"Yeah. Thanks. I really am okay. That assembly this morning gave me too much to think about," I admit, hating the fact that stupid pot makes my verbal filter all wonky.
"Really?" he asks, his eyebrows moving high up his forehead in surprise.
I shrug because I'm not sure I want to get into this discussion now, while I feel really good.
"I guess, I mean, didn't it freak you out a bit?" Because apparently I really can't shut up while stoned.
"Well, yeah. It's never fun to think about your dick turning all red and itchy and shit," he laughs, but suddenly the air turns strange between us, and neither of us are laughing.
"Yeah," is my genius response. "I mean, no. I don't have a...a dick."
Seriously, I should remember to bring along a roll of duct tape to shut my mouth after smoking. That's why having snacks around after smoking is key - it keeps your mouth busy, so you don't have a chance to insert your foot in it. Edward snorts at my response and looks at me thoughtfully before speaking again.
"No...no you don't. And I mean, if you're safe and shit, it's totally fine. I...I'm glad she gave us those condoms."
I stare at Edward with wide eyes, my mouth gaping open like a dumbass fish.
"Y-y-you are?"
"Oh. No. I mean, yeah. I mean. Shit."
Edward runs his hands through his hair before composing himself and trying again.
"What I meant was that it was cool they did that, in case people want to have sex. You know, other people."
Oh.
I stare at him dumbly, trying to unravel the mystery that is Edward Cullen. It's really hard because I'm totally baked and my mind is running in circles. Does he mean he doesn't want to have sex with me?
"You don't want to have sex?" I blurt out, and then, because I'm clearly a glutton for punishment, I follow it up with the most poorly timed question. "Have you ever had sex before?"
And then, it's out there, and I can't take it back. Apparently, we're going to have this discussion now. I shiver, mostly from the cold air, but a little bit in apprehension of Edward's answer. He watches me carefully before standing up and motioning for me to follow him. We head back inside, and his house feels warm and welcoming. Still not speaking, he pulls out the lasagna from the fridge, turns the oven on to preheat, and grabs my hand, leading me upstairs to his bedroom. Before we reach his bedroom, I pull back a little, suddenly nervous.
"You know. I wasn't, like, challenging you. You don't have to go take me in there and sex me up to prove something," I blurt out because my verbal diarhea is getting worse. I should look into getting some medicine for that, stat.
Edward cocks and eyebrow at me and smirks before pulling me into his room. He has a couch in his room, like mine, and we sit there instead of the bed. Phew.
"Bella," Edward says as he turns my face to look at him. "I didn't bring you in here to, 'sex you up.' I came in here because it's warm, and you seemed cold outside. And clearly, we need to talk."
I just stare at him, hoping he'll continue, because really, he still needs to answer the question I've asked him. I wait and watch him lick his dry lips and run his hand through his impossibly messy hair. Finally, he speaks.
"Yes."
Shit. I can't tell which question he's answering, since I did ask him two. Either way, 'yes' is not a good answer. Either he doesn't want to have sex with me, or he's had sex before. I can feel my palms start to get sweaty, and for some reason my eyeballs feel really dry so I start blinking rapidly, hoping to hell I'm not having some weird pot-induced "my-boyfriend's-a-slut-who-doesn't-want-to-sleep-with-me" panic attack. Edward must notice that I'm on the brink of something not good and he takes my hand.
"No, I mean, No. I mean. Shit. Bella. Look at me. Please?" he pleads, and I can't help but look up when he sounds all pouty like that. "Yes, I do want to have sex with you."
Oh.
OH.
Now, I start to feel nervous. Holy shit, I can't believe he just said he wants to have sex with me. My palms now feel insanely wet, so I wipe them on my pants. Only when Edward grabs a hold of my hands do I realize that his hand is sweaty too, and he's still talking.
"But, um, yes to your other question, too," he whispers, not looking at me.
I'm so wrapped up in the thought that Edward actually wants to have sex with me, and I'm not some horrid mutant freak or something, that I momentarily forget the other question that had slipped out of my pot-addled brain.
Edward's not a virgin.
When I think it in my head, for some reason, I'm not incredibly freaked out or pissed or angry. I just roll the thought around, contemplating it. A low beep sounds in the distance, and Edward gets up.
"But it was stupid and meaningless, and I didn't...I didn't love her or anything," he says quickly as he runs downstairs, presumably to put in the lasagna.
He didn't love her? Does that mean...? I don't let myself even go there, since there are way too many things to think about besides the eighty million hidden meanings in what Edward has just said.
I sit back on the couch, close my eyes and pray to anyone who is listening to help me figure this fucked up situation out.
*Irvin S. Yeaworth directed The Blob.
A/N: If you would like to know more about safe sex, please check out: www(DOT)PlannedParenthood(DOT)org