As promised, this is the tale of Eric and Jade's first encounter. With the exception of the beginning, this whole chapter is a flashback. As Jade tries to calm down from her fight with Eric, she recalls the exact moment she fell into his trap.

Warnings: language, smut, and rough sex.

Enjoy!

As the train rolls through the city, I just stare out the window blankly. I've been riding for a while, too numb to cry any longer. Now that things have started to calm down, I need to take a breath and get a grip. I don't know what I'm doing, or even where the fuck I'm going...

I just know I can't go on this like this.

Gathering my knees to my chest, I wrap my arms around them tightly. My throat constricts, thinking of Ayden lying in a hospital bed, comatose, barely clinging to his life. Tears threaten to overwhelm again, as guilt and grief attack me. Resting my head against the back of the car, I close my eyes tightly, swallowing painfully at the memory of Eric calling me that word.

Whore…

Fact is, he didn't say anything that wasn't true. That's exactly what I am…and now, I'm getting just what I deserve.

My face crumples, my tears finally flowing like a dam bursting. How did things even get to this point...how could I have let this whole situation get so out of hand?

How did this even happen in the first place?

Exhaling sadly, I realize I can't stay on the train forever. I have to think, clear my head, and figure out how to handle things from this point. Wiping my eyes, I decide to get off near Navy Pier. After letting myself off, I wander towards an abandoned, rickety old bench. Sitting down, I gaze at the city in the full moonlight. Some of the buildings have been restored when claimed by the factions, some sit abandoned, frozen in time. I can only imagine what Chicago must've looked like all those years ago when these old buildings were built and cared for.

My exhaustion starts to overcome me, felt in every part of my body as I gaze blankly at the city skyline. I'll have to go back to Dauntless eventually but need some perspective first. I need to figure out what the fuck I was thinking, doing this without a plan.

As I let my mind wander, it eventually wanders to the night my whole world got flipped upside down…

FIRST FACTION VISIT

Taking a sip of coffee, I gaze at the sun setting over the Amity farmland from my room. I got here a little early to have enough time to get ready for tonight, and I already have butterflies in my stomach. This is an informal meet-and-greet dinner, my first official act of business as an Ambassador. I'm praying this goes well, and Eric and I don't kill each other.

Glancing at my phone, I notice the time and get up to get ready. I'm meeting Eric in the lounge of the visitor complex, and I'll never hear the end of it if I'm late. After a quick shower, I apply makeup and style my hair. Feeling a small excitement, I slip into my dress Leah custom-made for me. Slipping on my high heels, I scrutinize my reflection while turning and looking over my shoulder. Giving a small nod of satisfaction, I'm again reminded of Leah's talent for design...she's truly outdone herself.

My dress is gorgeous, making me hardly recognize myself. It's a satin black that crosses in the front, with gathered material that enhances my bust. The way it's wrapped makes my waist look minuscule...It stops just below my knee, though there's a sexy slit on the side so I can sit comfortably.

My favorite part is the back...the straps go just to my shoulders, the hemline plunging to my spine, leaving most of my back bare. Leah picked out strappy shoes that give me an extra inch of height, drawing a lot of attention to my long legs. My blonde hair falls in shiny, sleek layers around my tanned shoulders, giving my head the appearance of spun gold.

My golden green eyes are luminescent, even more piercing against the light rim of black eyeliner. My lips are full and lush against the lip-gloss Leah insisted I wear. I close my eyes for a moment, staring wistfully at my reflection. I still can't believe that's me, Jade Crawford, the Dauntless girl that could easily arm-wrestle most guys and win, staring back. Exhaling slowly, I give my appearance one last inspection before meeting Eric. When I get to the lobby, I smile at the man behind the reception desk, who greets me in return.

"Hello…could you tell me the way to the lounge?"

"Certainly…it's just down the hall from the Dining Room, across the way."

"Thank you."

Buzzing electricity begins to flow through my veins as I head in that direction. Trying to shake it off, I enter the small gathering room that serves as a 'lounge'. Eyes are instantly felt on me as I scour the room for Eric, several men glancing in my direction with flirtatious smiles. My heart gives a little jump, finally spotting him at the bar sipping an amber-colored drink.

His eyes rove my body as I slowly step towards him, the intensity of his gaze making me shiver. What feels like a rush of blood pools low in the center of my belly as he slowly stands, tossing back the rest of his drink.

Wow...I've never really seen Eric in anything other than the fighting gear he wears around the compound. I've never really noticed just how handsome he is when he's not trying to intimidate Initiates. Dauntless typically never dress up, as we have no cause for it. He looks like a completely different person...

He's wearing an all-black suit with no tie and a dinner jacket. His short blond hair is perfectly groomed and slicked back. His shirt is slightly open at the top, drawing my eye to his strong chest and shoulders. Slowly meeting his gaze, my pulse quickens. A crafty smirk pulls at the corner of his lips as he approaches, reminding me of what else he resembles in this garb:

A wolf in refined clothing.

Eric's gaze burns into me as he swirls the remaining contents of his glass. Despite the late winter air, I suddenly feel very warm. The energy between us is almost palpable, like it's creating a physical force around us. "You sure clean up nicely..." He finally drawls, eyes flicking over me head to toe. Biting back my reflexive sarcastic response, I just give a tight smile while resisting the urge to roll my eyes.

"Thank you," I mutter, forcing my eyes away.

He swallows the rest of his drink, laying the glass on a table beside him. "Ready?" He asks. As I turn toward the entryway, Eric grabs my hand and wraps it around his bulging bicep. My eyes snap to his in bewilderment.

"What the fuck are you doing?"

"I'm your escort...I'm escorting you."

"I can walk without any assistance, Eric... Is this really necessary?"

"To show that you're not just another Dauntless cavewoman, incapable of manners and etiquette? Yes."

Ignoring my silent protest, he leads us toward the Dining Hall. We enter the bright, spacious room, joining the other faction Ambassadors and Council in attendance. Some I recognize, some I don't.

Several hushes fall through the crowd as we pass. The other factions are always a little intimidated by Dauntless, Eric and I no exception. In stark contrast against the rigid Erudite and the meek Abnegation, we're both tall, blond, muscle-toned, and look every bit the warriors we're supposed to be.

As we pass a large mirror, I do a double-take when I catch sight of us.

I don't know if it's because I'm not used to seeing either of us this way, but I'm genuinely stunned by how Eric and I look together. We complement each other's best attributes; my femininity makes him look even more masculine and powerful, and his commanding nature makes me look strong next to him, while womanly and graceful. My body looks like it's a perfect fit for Eric's. We look like…. almost …

Like we were made for each other.

Quickly forcing myself to tear my eyes away, I glance at Eric. To my surprise, he's also staring at our reflection. Our eyes connect as he turns, a strange pull felt in my chest. It's just nerves, I tell myself firmly, breaking our gaze and willing myself to focus. I have a job to do and have to concentrate.

Just then, one of the Amity leaders, Billy, approaches us. "Jade," he greets warmly, giving me a quick hug customary of the Amity. "Billy, good to see you. How's Charity?" Charity is his wife, also an Ambassador for Amity.

He beams. Motioning around the room. "She's very well, thank you. Due any day now, with our second...a boy this time." He smiles and turns toward Eric, sticking out his hand. "You must be Jade's husband... I'm Billy Carter, one of the newly appointed leaders here at Amity." I'm waiting for Eric to correct him when to my surprise, he smirks and shakes his hand. "Eric Coulter...Dauntless leader," He says smoothly. Billy turns to me, tilting his head.

"Oh, Coulter? I thought your last name was Crawford…."

"It is…he and I aren't married...we're just here on business."

I hear Eric's sharp intake of breath, but he doesn't say anything. Billy shrugs with an apologetic smile. "Oh, I'm sorry... I just assumed, as great as you look together...would you like me to show you to your table?" I nod with a smile. "Please."

As we follow Billy, Eric shoots an irritated glance as he once more puts my hand on his arm. Puzzled, I just ignore it and keep my eyes forward, not knowing what I could've possibly done to piss him off. He leans into my ear as we reach our table, his proximity making me tingle.

"I'll do the talking... I'll let you know when to step in."

Shaking my head, I sit down in the chair Eric pulls out for me. As the other faction representatives take their places at the table, he turns to me with a serious eye. "This is technically a business function...no more than two drinks total for the entire evening," He decrees as I scoff.

"I'm Dauntless-born...two drinks couldn't even make a dent..."

"Yes, you're Dauntless, and not used to dealing with the timid Abnegation or the sophisticated Erudite. You're used to dealing with drunken Neanderthals that usually end up fighting or throwing their sex around when they've had one too many... I won't have you embarrass either one of us by acting like a drunken fairy from the Dauntless Reserve ward. No more than two glasses, and I will be watching."

Stunned by his insulting assumption, I grit my teeth in anger. "You are such an asshole," I hiss under my breath. Looking around, I turn to him again "Why didn't you correct Billy about not being my husband? Why are you trying to make it look like we're a couple when we are anything but? You're really fucking weird…"

He grips my elbow, fixing determined eyes on me. "Because we're in a hippy compound, where they're all about free love and all that bullshit. If they want to think we're together and it makes them more inclined to move in our favor, I'll let them think that. Whatever it takes to close the deal. This is the kind of thing you need to learn." He nods at several Erudite as they sit across from us. I force a smile as they nod at me. "Well, it's a good thing we're not in Candor then," I mutter quietly.

"It would take all of ten seconds to see we can't stand each other."

Throughout the evening, Eric keeps one arm around the back of my chair. He orders my dinner, insisting I eat as much as I can and not to drink more than a glass of wine. For some reason, he keeps putting bread on my plate. "It's only polite," he states, though there's something different in his tone. I surprise myself by eating all of it...it's so delicious I can't help it, though I don't have a huge appetite.

As the night wears on, I'm noticing a shift in my mood for some reason I can't explain. I feel light, carefree, giddy...uncharacteristically... happy. There's a slight buzz in my ear, and I have a strange urge to dance...something I never do. As Eric is talking with a woman from Erudite, he looks over and catches my eye. My face bursts into a huge smile, mildly alarmed that I almost waved...

What the fuck is wrong me, I think with a giggle.

I'm still smiling ridiculously at Eric, when the corners of his mouth turn up slyly. Why does he look so damn smug right now?

I'm engrossed in conversation with Charity and Bree, another Amity leader as Eric speaks with Billy and another leader, David. I had mentioned one of Eric's ideas about security during transport of food and goods, and David was very interested in his concept. Eric keeps giving sly, furtive glances at me as we engage with the others, and I can't wipe this stupid smile from my face to save my life.

As the dinner winds down and we prepare to leave, I'm completely relaxed. I feel a strange tingle throughout my body, which only intensifies with every glance Eric and I exchange. He's been watching me all night, studying me as if he were waiting for something to happen, I just don't know what. He did say he'd be watching closely...probably to throw any little mistake in my face later, I remind myself as we're served our after-dinner drink. It's an Amity custom to end their dinner with this particular tea, as they believe tea promotes relaxation.

"Make sure you drink all of this," Eric orders as a steaming cup is placed in front of me.

"Why?

"Because it's a special tea Amity reserve for guests. Drink it."

"Where's yours?"

"I can't drink it...I'm allergic to certain herbs."

Shrugging, I take a sip. There's no alcohol, and it has a minty taste with a hint of honey. It's delicious and does have a calming, soothing effect. After I finish it all, I stand up too quickly and get dizzy. Baffled, I still can't figure out what my problem is...I only had two glasses of wine, I'm nowhere near drunk...

Eric wraps his arm around me, keeping me from tripping. His pupils are blown wide as I look up at him, my breath hitching in my throat. "Are we ready to go?" I giggle breathlessly. He brushes a strand of hair from my forehead with a leering grin.

"Oh yeah...We're more than ready."

I stumble into the hotel elevator, with Eric right behind me. My mouth is stretched into an impossible-to-get-rid-of grin, humming quietly as I sway back and forth. Eric eyes me with an unreadable expression as the car carries us upwards. "How're you feeling, Jade?" He asks in a low voice, eyes flicking over my body. I twirl toward him, the normal disgust and repulsion he makes me feel strangely absent.

"I... feel…great…. Eric," I sing-song. His satisfied smirk deepens as the elevator stops on our floor. My untrained feet are unsteady in my high heels, as I stumble again with a giggle. Eric places his hand on the small of my back, guiding me down the hall. But... he doesn't stop in front of my room.

He stops in front of his.

"What are you doing, silly? This is your room, not mine," I laugh.

"There's still some business I need to discuss with you before the night is over."

His blazing eyes would normally repulse me, but for some reason don't bother me right now...nothing bothers me right now...everything is funny and lovable. Eric stands behind me, pulling out his key card to unlock the door. Unless I'm imagining it, I feel his lips grazing my neck as he leans past me. Eric ushers me inside, where I take the opportunity to kick my uncomfortable shoes off, laughing at being barefoot.

Why the hell is that so funny, I think in confusion.

Making my way further in, I catch sight of my reflection in a large mirror. What the fuck is my deal... my pupils are dilated, my cheeks flushed, my teeth are brilliantly white in a smile I can't seem to stop.

Eric pours two glasses of whiskey, walking toward me with them. "I thought this was business and I wasn't supposed to drink?" I giggle, taking the glass he hands me. The corners of his mouth turn up mysteriously, eying me over the brim of his glass.

"We're off duty now...relax and have a drink."

Though I'm inexplicably blissful, his strange shift in mood still perplexes me. "Fine, bossy," I shrug with a mock scowl, laughing as I take a sip. Whiskey isn't my drink of choice, so I give the glass back. "What do you need to talk to me about? What did I do now?" I inquire with a grin.

"Nothing. You actually did very well this evening, and I'm impressed."

My jaw drops in exaggerated surprise. "Oh my God...the complete fucking asshole that is Eric Coulter actually said something nice. Hell must be freezing over...Wait, let me see if the sky is falling..." I mock swoon, running toward the window. Stumbling, I put my hand on the pane to steady myself, giggling like an idiot.

Eric's arm encircles my waist, guiding me toward him. "Let's just stay over here where's it's safe, shall we?" He whispers in my ear, his breath tickling my skin. "Don't be ridiculous Eric...nowhere is safe with you around," I laugh, letting him turn me to face him. My smile falters as I meet his eye, the pure lust in his expression taking my breath away. The air charges, a magnetic pull strengthening between us.

It's so intense, time seems to stand still as a sensual heat envelops my body. The way his smile drains from his face and his expression hardens, I know he feels it too...this intense, indescribable, wanting and ache to touch each other that came out of nowhere.

"You have no idea how right you are," He growls in a husky tone.

Closing the rest of the distance between us, he wraps his arm around my waist and the other into my shoulders and hair. The next thing I know...Eric lowers his lids, his mouth hungrily connecting with mine.

A distant wave of panic and desire rolls throughout my entire body. My abdomen clenches so hard I lean forward, bringing myself even deeper into his fold. Fire simmers in my toes to eventually scorch it's way up, every nerve in my body tingling.

Holy shit...what the fuck are we doing, my mind screams as his lips press more urgently against mine, our tongues slowly flicking together. Why is he kissing me? Why am I not pissed off, repulsed, and horrified as I should be? Most alarmingly…

Why do I like it and want more?

Eric's heart beats wildly against mine. My arms reflexively go around his neck trying to break away, but he winds one hand into my hair and holds my head in place. His other arm tightens around my waist, lifting me off my feet to dangle in mid-air. Setting me on my feet, he kisses my chin down to my throat, finally giving me the chance to speak.

"Eric…what the fuck are you doing?" I demand with this stupid fucking smile I can't get rid of.

"What the fuck does it look like I'm doing, Jade?"

He breathes against my chin as I tilt my head to give better access to my throat. His hands run down the length of my body, over my dress and back into my hair. It feels like a trail of fire, making me giggle as I grab his shoulders, wanting him closer...wait...

Once again, what the fuck is happening?!

My mind struggles to fight through whatever has taken possession. This isn't funny...I need my wits about me. "Why are you kissing me...you can't do that, and you know it. I don't even know why you want to. You hate me…." I murmur, closing my eyes as he hits a sensitive spot. Picking his head up, he holds my hair firmly.

"I sit on the Dauntless council, I can do whatever the fuck I want...right now, what I want to do is you. Not being able to stand you in usual circumstances, shouldn't suggest I don't want to fuck you in others. I don't need to like you..."

Taking my mouth again, he pulls me to the edge of the bed with him. Sitting down, he wraps his arms around me again while kissing my throat. My head goes back with a sigh, savoring the feel of his lips on my collarbone and breasts as his fingers reach for the back zipper.

His touch and kisses are having a strange effect on me...like I'm not even I control of myself, he is. What the fuck is wrong with me? I can't cheat on Ayden with fucking Eric, of all people... He's a repulsive, terrible person...why aren't I stopping him?

Why do I not want to stop him? Why am I aching to feel more?

"Eric...this isn't right... I have a boyfriend...we work together... I can't sleep with you..." I protest futilely, willing myself to push him away, but instead pull him closer. Unable to help myself, I'm the one to claim his mouth this time.

He unzips my dress, sliding it off and letting it fall to the floor. His eyes devour every inch of me, standing in nothing but black lace panties. Dragging his gaze up to mine, he grabs my waist and rolls me on my back, hovering over me.

"I'm your boss, and I decide what's right and what isn't..." He pulls his shirt off, revealing his massive, chiseled and tattooed upper body. He slowly unbuckles his belt, moving over me as I gaze with hazy eyes.

"I don't give a shit about your boyfriend...and 'sleeping' is not what I want to do with you..."

His mouth takes mine roughly, moving down my body. Trying to get myself together, I slide my hands up his arms when he kisses a sensitive spot on my hip. I can't stop a moan from escaping, grabbing the back of his hair. I feel his victorious smile, kissing over my stomach then thighs. The anticipation drives me to the point I grip the sheets, my back arching.

Closing my eyes, I wait to feel his tongue when his mouth travels back the way it came. He grips both my wrists with one hand, pinning them above my head while the rest of his body covers mine.

"Jade," He rumbles, his other hand sliding down my leg and into my inner thigh, "Let me make this very clear. Nothing you don't want to happen is going to happen. I have no intention of forcing you to do anything...You can stop me and leave anytime you want... If you tell me this doesn't feel good, and you don't want more, I'll stop the instant you tell me to..." As he kisses my throat, chin, and mouth again, his hand begins to stroke between my legs.

The sensation is indescribable...shaking as my back arches, my hips start to writhe, one leg rising to stroke his. Eric continues to devour me, his hand merciless in its mission. Before I can stop myself, I return his kisses with equal urgency.

"Jade...does this feel good? Do you want more? Tell me right now if you don't..." He releases my wrists, wrapping them around my chin. "Open your eyes...Look at me..." Slowly, I blink through hazy eyes clouded with panic and desire, his filled with lust and determination.

"Do you want me, Jade?"

He grits his teeth, hovering while waiting for my answer. Now's my chance to get my mind right, tell him no and this isn't what I want despite it being a complete and utter lie. Opening my mouth to end this...I betray myself completely.

"Yes," I pant in a ragged whisper.

Eric's breath hisses through his teeth, quickly ridding me of the last scrap of cloth on my body. His lips crash on mine, pulling away and gripping my chin again. "Say it...tell me you want me as much as I want you right now…say...it," He commands seductively.

"I want you, Eric...now," I comply desperately, the quivering between my legs more than I can stand. He grunts, moving to position himself by pushing my legs farther apart with his knee. Bracing himself on his forearms, he winds his hands into my golden hair. A smug, satisfied smirk stretches his mouth as he holds my head in place, making me unable to look away.

Never breaking eye contact, he connects his body with mine.

Panic roars through me, but it's soon replaced by pleasure so intense I forget to breathe. "Fuck..." Eric mutters, starting to move as I slide my hands from his ribs to his back. Going deeper into my tight, wet space, he throws his head back with a hiss. My hips rock involuntarily with his, our mouths once more melding together. My eyes go back in my head, my nails scratching down his muscled back as we find a rhythm.

Sitting up abruptly, he grips my hips...then buries himself with one decisive thrust.

"Ahhh..." I gasp as my back arches so hard, I lift from the mattress. My entire being is a pure haze of pleasure...I don't know the person I am right now. Eric wraps his arms around the small of my back, pulling me to sit on his thighs. Winding a hand into my hair, he pulls my head back to devour my throat before taking my mouth again. My muscles quicken around his throbbing cock, the pressure so intense I bury my face against his neck. My hand grips the back of his head, my need to be pushed over the edge almost unbearable. Eric begins to pant, his own need for release evident as our eyes lock.

Not wanting to fight it any longer, I give in completely.

My mouth swoops down on his with blazing heat, both groaning as our tongues duel. In one swift move, he rolls me on my back as my long legs part, allowing him to settle between them. Eric kisses his way from my chest and throat back to my mouth. Running my hands over his chiseled body, I wrap my legs around his waist and flip to straddle him.

Too surprised and too turned on to stop me, Eric gives me temporary control. Kissing down his throat and chest, I descend until at his waist. Taking a deep breath, I lightly grip him as his eyes close and his head falls back.

Slowly, I introduce myself to the taste of him.

Eric gasps in surprise...he was only expecting me to stroke him. Our eyes connect as he sits up and grips my hair, as I take the full length of him into the back of my throat. "Fuck yes...that's it..." he rasps as stroke my tongue up his length, keeping the pressure of my mouth firm.

His hips buck, throwing his head back and exhaling loudly. Moaning with him fully in my mouth, the sensation drives him to the brink of insanity. Sitting up, he reaches down and pulls me up to him. Rolling me on my back, he plunges into me again.

Eric claims my mouth, rearing back and taking control of my hips. My eyes roll back in my head as he rocks into me with full force, not used to such dominance. My legs wrap around him as he pulls me up again, moving in perfect sync. My body makes the familiar climb as we both get close, teetering on the edge. Eric pulls back and forces eye contact before I finally break it.

With a long, deep kiss, I move off and turn to sit in his lap. Moving my hair to the side, I wind arm around his neck. He wraps his arm around my waist, gripping my hip and plunging into me again. Reaching a state of euphoria at the pleasure this brings, I fall forward as my back arches.

Eric runs his hand from the base of my spine into my hair, gripping tightly as he thrusts. When he hits that sweet spot deep inside, I can't help but scream in ecstasy. Feeling my walls clench around him, Eric shows no mercy as he slams into me.

"Come for me Jade ...come on…" He demands.

Refusing, I grip the back of his head with my eyes closed, not wanting this sensation to end yet. The deep rumble is felt in his chest as Eric lets out a low grown, turning me around and laying me under him.

"Wrap your legs and hold on," He growls, touching his forehead to mine. I do as he commands, and our mouths meeting again. He increases the tempo to an almost frenzied pace, until it feels like he's going to fuck me straight through the mattress into the floor.

We make our ascent together, our bodies synchronized until we both explode so hard I think I might actually pass out. It can only be described as what shattering into a thousand pieces is like...

Eric grunts, collapsing on top of me as we lay entwined in each other. As we start to come down, Eric withdraws with difficulty and rolls on his back. Both gasping for breath, we lay silent until he turns his head to me. "Holy fucking shit," He rasps, rolling to his side as I stare at the ceiling.

I don't respond, laying numb as the effects of whatever took possession of me start to ebb. As my sex-high begins to fade, shock and horror take its place. In a daze, I turn my head to look at his profile, reality hitting me like a sledgehammer. I just cheated on Ayden…with Eric.

With...Eric...what the fuck have I done...

After a moment Eric swings his legs over the side of the bed, heading for the bathroom. Snapping myself out of it, I silently move off the bed at lightning speed, hastily getting dressed and grabbing my shoes. Eric says something, but I don't hear whatever it is as I slip out the door.

Running down to my room, my hands shake as I unlock the door and burst into tears on the bed. Painful regret and guilt sear through my soul, Ayden's face flashing in my mind. I betrayed him…I betrayed myself. Giving in to the deep sobs wracking my body, I curl into a fetal position.

Dear God, what did I just do...Why did I do it?

Flinging my arm over my eyes, the magnitude of what I've just done comes rushing at me like a locomotive as I try to block it out. My hazy, euphoric buzz is completely gone...all that's left is lethargy. The aftermath sits on me like a ton of bricks, weighing me down. Forcing my eyes to open, I blink hazily as the same questions attack me relentlessly, firing like bullets in my brain. What the fuck just happened... Why did I do that... How could I let that happen?

Why did I want it to happen?

Was this his plan all along? Am I going to get in trouble for this? Will he? What does this mean? Are people going to know? The questions that hurt the most...

What will happen when Ayden finds out...will he? How could he ever forgive me...how could I possibly explain how this happened?

Eric didn't force me to do anything...the painful truth is that everything happened of my own volition. He didn't do anything until I gave him clear permission to do it...but why did I give it? What the fuck caused my temporary bout of insanity...

As I'm desperately thinking over tonight, something suddenly occurs to me. Eric was weirdly adamant I eat and drink everything offered, except alcohol. I thought nothing of it at the time, but now it makes sense...my eyes round, remembering a pertinent fact about food at Amity. Peace serum is in everything they make, specially dosed in the bread…and I ate almost a whole loaf, at Eric's insistence. My eyes narrow, thinking of the tea he insisted I drink...God only knows how much was in that...

Son of a fucking bitch...this was his plan all along...He never wanted to 'supervise' me for any bullshit reason...he preyed on me, wanting to get me alone and exact his revenge, in the form of humiliating me and ruining my relationship with Ayden...and I fell into his trap.

I knew he hates me, but I had no idea of just how much until now.

The walls are closing in on me...I have to get out of here before going back to Eric's room, going batshit crazy and killing him. He's a sick, twisted person and the mere thought of him makes me see red.

Hastily getting up, I change as quickly as possible. Practically running out of the visitor complex, I head for the train yard. Eric will be pissed I left, but I don't give a shit. This is all a sick, twisted game, and it's done as of this moment.

If I never see Eric again, it'll be too soon.

The next day, I stay holed up in my apartment into the night, grateful Ayden is on patrol. I've been trying to block out the events of last night, but the soreness I feel is a constant reminder. My friends have texted to meet them at the Pit, but I'm not going to risk running into Eric...I don't trust myself right now. I might end up in the brig for murder.

As I'm making a pot of tea there's a knock on my door around dinnertime. There've been several knocks on my door today, and I've ignored all of them. The knock is more insistent, but I remain as still and quiet as possible, apprehension racing through me.

"Jade? It's Leah...are you in there? Are you okay?"

Breathing a sigh of relief, I check the peephole to make certain she's alone. Quickly opening the door, I pull her inside. "Jade-" she begins, but I motion to be quiet. Quickly looking up and down the hall, I hastily shut and lock it.

"Jade...what the fuck is going on? Are you alright? Why are you hiding in here?"

Moving further into my apartment before saying anything, I motion to follow. Paranoid I'm making too much noise even though it's just us, I shut my bedroom door. "Jade," Leah whispers, truly worried now, "what is going on?" Finally taking a deep breath, I turn to her…promptly bursting into tears.

"Jade...please tell me what happened...you've got me worried sick. Why are you hiding? What is going on..." Leah pleads, wrapping her arms around my shoulders as I sob in a heap. Sitting up with a tearstained face, I wipe my eyes.

"Well, let me start from the top."

In a teary, shaky voice, I tell her everything that happened, sparing no details as she listens with wide, shocked eyes. "Holy shit Jade… Eric? I mean he's hot and all, but not exactly your biggest fan, or you of him…." She trails off as I hang my head sadly. Leah exhales, concern dawning on her face.

"Just so I'm clear on everything...I have to ask. Did Eric physically force you? I know you were high on peace serum, but did he force himself on you? Are you hurt at all?" She asks, scanning me nervously. Taking a deep breath, I tell her the truth.

"No... he didn't. In fact, he told me to stop him if I wanted to…I tried…but for some reason, couldn't. It was like I was in a trance...The things he was doing…no guy I've ever been with has… the way I felt…. I don't even know how to describe it," I stammer.

Leah smiles grimly, squeezing my hand. "Jade...you're only human." Leah gets that look, the one where she wants to say something but doesn't know how. Exasperated, I purse my lips. "Okay, what is it?" She sighs before answering.

"Jade, I have to ask something... did you remember to get more contraception? You were out the other day…"

Faction law is that once a female is no longer a Dauntless dependent and a full-fledged citizen, she's no longer eligible to receive contraceptives. In fact, it's so difficult to get it's all but outlawed. Growing up in Dauntless I was no stranger to sex, taking full advantage of what was offered. But now that I'm a full citizen, I no longer receive my tri-monthly serum...legally at least... and it slipped my mind. My heart plunges into my feet...I hadn't even thought of that.

Holy shit…what if Eric got me pregnant?

Seeing my panic-stricken look, Leah nods and rises from the bed. "Alright, calm down...I keep an emergency pack for…. well… emergencies. I'll go get them right now." As she leaves, I've never been more grateful for a friend like her than at this moment.

I fling myself back on my pillow, arms over my eyes. "What the fuck is your problem...how can you be so careless and stupid?" I berate myself. Trying to calm down, I change into a soft, clingy black tank top with spaghetti straps and a pair of very short, gray shorts. I pile my hair loosely on top of my head, thinking I'll feel better if I clean up a little. I've already taken two showers today, but still can't get rid of this dirty feeling. Making my way to the kitchen, I pull a cup from the cabinet when Leah knocks softly on the door.

"It's open Leah," I call, hearing the door creak. "You want some tea? I just made a fresh pot." Setting it on the counter to cool, I turn around…and my blood almost freezes in my veins.

"No thanks...I'm more of a coffee guy," Eric says smoothly with a leering grin.

My heart pounds so hard, it might beat right out of my chest. Dread splashes through me as I grip the back of the counter so tightly, my knuckles turn white. Eric doesn't say anything, eyeing me slyly as he steps forward. Stopping an inch away, he sets a sheet packet of pills by my hand. "I told Leah I'd give these to you... she suddenly had to go." He tucks a strand of my hair behind my ear, making me flinch.

"That's probably a good idea. We got a little carried away last night..."

"Get...the...fuck...out..."

"Whatever could be wrong, Jade?"

His mocking tone further fuels my rage, snapping me out of it. "What do you want...why are you here? You know what, it doesn't matter...get the fuck out," I thunder again, moving to walk out of my kitchen. He grabs my arm in a viselike grip, holding me in place with a malicious smile.

"Tsk tsk, Jade... that's no way to talk to your boss. You're in enough trouble for leaving and avoiding me all day, so if I were you, I wouldn't make it worse."

Surprising myself and him, I give him a sudden, hard slap. "I don't give a fuck what you think you are...right now you're in my home when I don't want you here. Get...the... fuck.. out, now!" I hiss through gritted teeth, too furious to think straight.

"Wow, someone's feeling feisty. What a change from last night," He jeers whistling under his breath as he grabs my waist.

Before I have time to react he picks me up, placing me on the counter. Forcing my legs to part, he keeps me in a steel-like cage as he jerks me toward him. The other hand snakes around my back, over the bare skin of my shoulders and tangles in my hair. Training a lethal glare, I clench my teeth. "You come here to gloat? Save it...What you did is nothing to brag about, Eric. It just shows what a pathetic, weak piece of shit you are...that I always knew you to be. Get out..."

Finally managing to gather my knees to chest, I kick him backward. He stumbles, his grip broken as I jump off the counter. Shaking his head mockingly, he feigns innocence with a leering grin.

"What exactly is it that I did, Jade?"

"What the fuck do you mean, 'what is I that you did'? You fucking took advantage of me-" I sputter, my eyes rounding in disbelief when he cuts me off.

"How did I take advantage of you?"

"Are you…are you serious? I wasn't in my right mind-"

"At what point in time were you not in your right mind?"

"Don't you fucking play dumb...you knew what would happen if I had eaten too much bread, and also with that tea!"

"I didn't force you to eat the bread or drink the tea...I suggested you do it out of etiquette, and you complied. You did it on your own... I never once coerced or strong-armed you into anything last night, if you recall."

I open my mouth to argue again, but words don't come out. A weight drops in my stomach, realizing he's right...he didn't force me. A smug grin stretches his face, seeing I realize his words are irrefutable. He steps toward me again, making me back up until I touch the counter.

"Were you not aware that the Amity administer peace serum in everything they serve? You are an ambassador to the factions…"

"Yes, but-"

"But what? You knew that peace serum was in the food you ate and drank...you knew the effects it could have. You were not eating or drinking anything you were not fully aware of... how am I to blame for that?"

"You knew I wouldn't be used to it…"

"How would I know that?"

"Because I was…was…"

Guilt crashes over me, unable to finish. Eric leans over, placing both hands on the counter on either side. "Because you weren't such a bitch, for once?" He finishes for me, making my eyes narrow. Scoffing, he shakes his head condescendingly. "Quick lesson on peace serum; it is not a narcotic, does not impair your motor skills or judgment, nor does it put you in a lethargic state. It simply takes away aggression, aiding in the promotion of tranquility and compliance." His eyes rove over me again, making my skin crawl.

"Oh…. how 'compliant' you were, Jade..."

My chest constricts, my vision tainted red. "Get…the…fuck…out, before I kill you, Eric," I hiss in a deadly tone as he laughs. He holds his hands up in mock surrender, stepping back. My blood pressure rises as he gives me a cool, calculating look.

"You fucked me because you wanted to fuck me, Jade...no one made you do anything. In fact, I gave you every opportunity to stop...I specifically told you to tell me if you wanted me to...you obviously didn't. I asked you for expressed permission before doing anything...you gave it willingly, and I gave you exactly what you wanted. Even though you won't admit it right now…"

He moves toward me stealthily, the hair on the back of my neck rising.

"You still want it….so do I... I'm more than willing to oblige."

The arrogant smirk on his face sends fury rolling through me, unable to help laughing in disbelief. "Don't fucking flatter yourself, Eric. It was nothing but a one-hit wonder, certainly nothing to brag about. Let me tell you something…."

Stepping forward, I get right in his face. "If I were you, I really wouldn't feel so big and bad. From what I hear, the only pussy you get is from women that either a.) wouldn't give you the time of day if you weren't on the council, b.) don't have a choice because they're Reserves, c.) too stupid to know better or d.) too fucked up to have any self-respect to care. Fucking me wasn't some epic victory, Eric... I simply had to be under the influence of a mind-altering serum, as you never…never…would have been able to get me in your bed otherwise!"

Clenching his teeth, the muscles in his jaw pulse as he steps closer. "Say that again," He seethes in a dangerous whisper. A wicked smile crosses my face, leaning in and tipping my jaw. "Why...what did you not understand?" Stepping closer, I ignore his warning look as he glares down. "Oh, I get it now...you think I should be throwing myself at you like some pathetic bitch-in-heat, like the vapid little sluts you're used to. What's the matter, Eric?" I sneer, crossing my arms.

"Is it really such a foreign concept, that you are the one who isn't wanted? Does it bother you how pathetic I think you are….as well as a shitty lay?"

Eric licks his lips, catching the bottom one in his teeth. "You know something, Jade? That smartass mouth of yours used to piss me off…but now...I just think about how I fucked it, and it doesn't bother me."

Rage boils from the bottom of my very soul, so angry I'm unable to speak. A few heated moments pass...then, like a rattlesnake, he strikes.

Eric rushes at me, making me yelp in surprise. Wrapping his arm around my waist, he lifts me clear off my feet and pins me to the wall with his body. His lips travel down my neck and throat, pulling my tank down to claim my breast. A moan escapes my parted lips, using both hands to grab his shoulders.

He travels back the way he came, his mouth roughly taking mine again. He smells and tastes of whiskey, cigarettes, and something else decidedly male. Cursing my traitorous body, heat flows through my veins as his massive muscles bulge against me, making a deep clench in my abdomen.

"Eric..." I begin to plead. His hands wander the landscape of my body, his lips hot on my neck. Picking his head up, the smug expression is gone...replaced by lust so powerful, I barely recognize him. With his fingers digging painfully into my flesh, the other hand snakes around the bare skin of my shoulders. Tangling in my hair, he forces me to look at him with an excited gleam in his eye.

"You repulse me...I hate you so much," I hiss with open fury, my eyes narrowing. He shakes his head mockingly, jerking my face closer. "I know how much you wish that were true," He growls, before his lips crash on mine again. Forcing my head to the side, I manage to break our kiss. "What the fuck does that even mean?"

"Don't play stupid Jade...it bores me. We both know you want me as much as I want you... I feel it here..." my breath catches as he puts a meaty hand on my wildly beating heart, "here..." He kisses me again, then locks eyes with me

"and here..."

Reaching down, he runs his hand up my thigh to the most intimate part of me, already quivering with need. "I felt every bit of it last night...you couldn't wait to fuck me," He whispers.

The taste of whiskey is strong as he kisses me so hard my back bends, almost dipping me. He drags his mouth down my neck, suckling hard and gripping the back of my head with a fistful of hair. Groaning as the trail of his mouth leaves a path of heat, I instinctively raise my knees.

Eric grips my thigh, sliding his other arm to bring me off my feet. My long legs wrap around him as he walks toward the bedroom, our mouths connected. As he pins me to the wall, I try to convince myself the combination of excitement, heat, and need is just a physical reaction. Though I do want this to happen, I'm going to pretend it isn't Eric making me feel like this. Seeming to sense my plan, Eric brings a hand to my face, fingers bruising my chin while trying to force eye contact.

"Look at me, Jade..."

"Fuck you!"

"Don't worry, we'll get to that part in a minute...I said look at me..."

"FUCK…YOU!"

Abruptly moving off the wall, he collapses on top of me on the bed. Pinning me with his large body, he holds my head still with one hand.

"For the last Goddamn time...look at me..."

His eyes storm with rage, lust, and something else I can't place as I finally bring mine to his. He slides his other hand down my body, pulling my shorts over my hips, over my thigh, and finally to my practically throbbing sex. He lets out a grunt, feeling how wet I am already. "Oh yeah, Jade... you don't want me," he scoffs.

"This seems to prove otherwise."

My eyes close, a whimper escaping as he begins to massage my clit in lazy circles. He's merciless in his touch, the pressure building in my abdomen again as he grabs my chin. "Open your eyes Look at me!" He hisses, panting from his own need and lust. His hand keeps stroking, making my toes curl and my back bow. I open my eyes, still hazing with the desire I'm trying to fight.

"You're going to keep your eyes on me the whole time...you're going to look where I tell you to look without argument. Do you understand?"

He strokes harder as I glare, until I finally nod. Hearing him unbuckle his belt, anticipation drives me insane...I can't help but silently implore him to hurry and satisfy us both.

"You're going to keep your eyes on my face, Jade..." He pants in a strangled whisper. He enters me with a powerful thrust, his pace quickening. As my eyes roll back and my lids close, he reaches out and grabs my hair.

"Eyes...on...me..."

My eyes fly open, withering under the intensity of his glare. It's so powerful, it might melt me into the bed. His face contorts as he starts a punishing rhythm, one I savor as the climb begins. His forehead touches mine, relentless in his mission.

"You think you belong to him...but right now, you…are…mine…I own you...every part of you is mine. This is mine," He proclaims, goes deeper, harder than he has before.

Hitting that deep spot inside me, my head begins to cloud. I'm vaguely aware that the hands that were gripping the sheets have moved up his arms and shoulders to grip his neck. His eyes never leave mine, except to claim my mouth. Once again trying to rebel against my traitorous body, I'm too lost in the heat of the moment and decide to just let go.

My eyes linger on his for a second, then my lust takes over. Before knowing what I'm doing, I grab the hem of his shirt, pulling it upwards Understanding dawns in his expression, pulling it off completely.

The light bounces off his heavily muscled torso and arms, making him appear larger. Running my hands over his chest, I pull his mouth back to mine, feeling his groan deep in his chest. Our tempo becomes frenzied, his thrusting deeper, harder, taking me to heights I never knew existed.

Writhing underneath him, I strain to get even closer while matching his rhythm. Wrapping his arm around my waist, Eric shifts to that I'm on top. As I balance myself on his chest, he literally rips the last shred of clothing off my body.

My legs straddle either side of him, stripping him the same way he did me. Slowly lowering myself onto him I relish how he fits in my tight space, leaving no part of me unfilled. His large hands smooth up my waist, over my breast and back to my thighs, urging my ride. My head falls back and forth, both of his palms coming to interlace with mine.

Moving into a sitting position, he wraps both arms around me. One moves up my back, the other gripping my hair. My head falls back as he kisses my throat, over my chin and back to my mouth. Our tongues massage wildly, wanting to taste everything about each other. Never breaking rhythm, I meet him all the way as he surges into me again and again, showing no mercy. Lost in my own little world of ecstasy, I could stay like this forever.

"Jade, open your eyes...Look at me...remember who's doing this to you... Look at me!" He hisses through gritted teeth.

Doing as he commands, we stay locked in each other's gaze. Gripping my hair tightly, he rocks into me with all he's got as I cling to his shoulders for dear life, my body quaking as the earth shatters around me.

Slowly collapsing over me, I lay underneath him as a sense of doom fills me. Panting, he finally rolls off me and I immediately turn on my side...I'll not give him the satisfaction of seeing me like this again.

"Get out, Eric...I mean it... If you're not out of here in exactly 30 seconds, you'll find a bullet in your throat…"

His low chuckle is heard as he gets up, pulling on his clothes. I'm still facing away when he gets to the door, stopping but not turning around.

"Until we meet again, Jade... You know as well as I do we will."

He leaves without another word. Waiting a few minutes to make certain he doesn't come back, I finally get up and deadbolt the door, pushing a chair under it for added security. After hobbling to the kitchen, I hastily tear open the package and pop one of the emergency contraceptives. Tears fill my eyes, making me put my head in my hands.

Jesus Christ, what have I gotten myself into?