Watching the two of them together filled every fiber of her being with anguish. The way that her True Love would laugh and throw her arm around Ruby's shoulders. How Ruby would wrap her arms around Emma, burying her head into the blonde's shoulder as the two strolled through the park.
She had been a Queen, and yet, as she sifted through the photos of Emma and her lover she felt like nothing more than a common stalker. Droplets of vile liquid spilled down her cheeks, once again she was brought to tears over the fact that Emma could never be allowed to love her again.
It was a boiling, festering, wound that Regina lived with. Each day it hurt more, each day it literally killed her on the inside. However, she didn't matter. What did matter, so much more than her own inner-torture, was that Emma was happy. Even if it meant she was happy with someone other than herself.
Always watching, always submitting herself to the torture of the rumors, pictures, and other intel that Sydney brought her. Months turned into another year. Her son's twelfth birthday had passed. It'd been nearly two years since Emma had stumbled into Storybrooke. A year and a half since she'd found her way into Ruby's bed.
Day to day, she did her best to live. For Henry. To not show the weakness of claiming one's own life. On cold, long nights, when Henry was off with Emma, Regina would secretly hope that someone would break in and run a blade across her throat, saving her from the misery of living.
Regina often wondered how she had possibly fallen so low to call Snow fucking White her best friend. She supposed, had life been different, had she not been forced to wed the woman's father, and had the woman not played a major part in Daniels death they would have been friends in their homeworld.
Since the very day that his memories had returned, David, Charming, had been trying to convince the people of Storybrooke that Regina was still evil. That she had lied about the events of the day when the curse had finally been broken.
Most of all he needed to convince his poor, nieve, stupid wife the truth. So she could understand that he was right, that he would always be right, and she could get where she belonged. In his castle, ok, house, and doing her damn duty. Not waltzing around with the fucking Evil Queen. He needed a way to prove to his child, his child that he doubted was even his thanks to her actions, that Regina needed to die. He smiled, one day he would prove to the world the truth. And on that day Emma would kill the Evil Queen, to earn his love.
The photos that brought the once Evil Queen the most pain were the ones she had never been able to bring herself to burn. The photos that she and Emma had collected during their perfect summer together. The memories of that summer was both a curse, and a blessing. It brought pain, but remembering that, for a time, Emma was hers. Well, it helped numb the pain to lose herself remembering.
At the same time, she couldn't help but be drawn to young Emma's face, and the huge smile that she had whenever she was looking at Regina in the photos. The smile that was only slightly bigger than the one that Emma gave Ruby. Emma was happy with her, and that broke Regina's heart. But she knew it was for the best.
If there was anyone on this earth that deserved to get everything they wanted and needed it was Emma. Or, at least that was what Regina full heartedly believed. It was the reason that Regina kept Bella, Ruby's true love, locked away. And she would never release her, unless Emma broke it off with Ruby.
As Emma's true love Regina knew it was her duty to make sure Emma got what she deserved, it was her duty to protect her. Keeping Belle locked up was a way of protecting her, because should Bella see the light of day, it would be a matter of days before Ruby and her found each other. Ruby made Emma happy, and while she was loathe to admit it, they worked well as a couple. She both hoped they worked out the problems they were going through, and hoped they didn't. And she hated herself for it.
Pounding was heard as someone ascended the stairs. Regina recognized the sound as the tell-tale sign of Henry's sneakers against the wood. She sighed as she gathered the photos into a pile and threw them into a folder before Henry burst into her office, out of breath. She steeled her face, sweat was dripping down his face.
"Mom! We gotta go" He shouted as he slid to a stop in front of his mother, he'd run all the way from the park. He grabbed his mother's hand, pulling her to her feet. "Grandma went into labor"
All annoyance for her sons lack of rules, and commanding tone vanished at the words. She'd promised, god she still hated calling that woman her friend, that she would be there for her. She followed Henry down the stairs at a quick pace, and jumped into the car. Only waiting long enough for him to buckle his belt before she was peeling out of her garage.
They arrived too late, but Snow smiled at Regina and waved her in. She thanked the woman for coming, while David glared at her. Mentally imagining killing the woman before him slowly and painfully. Snow was quick to offer her baby up to the once evil queen.
"She's breathtaking Snow" Regina murmured after Snow had carefully placed the infant into her arms. The child had the charming chin, Snow's black hair, but had received her skin tone from her father.
There was no lie to her words. The baby was indeed beautiful, but Regina held no doubt that while the child would grow into a magnificent beauty of a woman she would still no hold no candle to her older sister. Regina couldn't imagine someone every being as beautiful as Emma.
"You are the third to hold her" Regina raised a brow at Snow's words. "Doctor Whale, and myself before you" David sent another death-delivering glower at the woman. She was holding his second child before he had even had the opportunity. If possible, his hatred for her grew even more.
Eyes widened at the confession, her mouth dropped slightly. The room was silent for a few minutes as Regina's eyes swept from the infant in her hold, to that of Snow. Who despite having just gone through labor, still looked happy and ready for anything. Regina wondered how she could have such strength.
"I can't thank you enough for that honor" Her voice cracked, and tears swept into Snow's eyes. She reached out and squeezed Regina's hands. Letting her know she appreciated the sentiment.
"I get to be fourth" Exclaimed Henry with excitement, totally ruining the sugar sweet bonding moment between his mother slash step-grandmother and his grandmother. His smile only widened when Snow nodded at his demand.
David couldn't help but scowl, his ungrateful grandchild, who no matter how hard he tried, didn't believe his claims about his evil mother, was about to get his grubby little paws onto his daughter.
Reluctantly Regina placed the sleeping bundle into Henry's arms. She was sure his smile, should it widen any further, would surely split open her dark-haired sons face. He'd always wanted a little sister, she supposed a little aunt was the next best thing. He looked so happy, and it warmed her heart.
It was clear from the way the two were scowling, and standing away from each other once they were inside of the hospital room that the two had most likely been fighting once again. Snow noticed at once, and try as she might not to, so did Regina. Henry was obvlious to the tension between his birth-mother and Ruby with the baby in his arms.
"Hey guys, sorry I am late. Ruby wouldn't hurry up. Nearly had to leave her behind" Emma said in a strained voice, Ruby huffed and shot a glare at her girlfriend.
"Don't worry about it, I doubt I looked very pretty while I was trying to push that heavy thing outta me" Snow laughed as Emma grimaced at the thought. "I am just glad you made it at all"
Eva, that was the baby's name. Named after Snow's mother, she told them all her name as the baby was finally passed to David, but only after Emma and Ruby had held her. Granny snuck in and got her chance to hold the babe before sneaking out to get back to the Diner.
"Before you go I have something important to ask you. While most children have a godmother, and a godfather, Charming and I have both chosen a woman. David has chosen Emma" David nodded as Emma raised an eyebrow at him.
It was surprising, as Emma and Charming didn't spend any time together unless Snow was with them. The two didn't get along, mostly thanks to Charming's beliefs. Emma took the position as his way of trying to get her to do something he wanted, and that was the truth. He was hoping to win his daughters favor, so he could finally prove to her the truth.
"No problem Snow. Afterall, she is my sister right? However, I don't do diapers. I don't even know how to change one. Or make a bottle, so, why don't you wait to make me babysit till she's potty trained yeah?" Emma said with a laugh.
The whole room laughed as Emma ran a hand through her hair. It was true, she had no experience with babies. Barely knowing how to hold one. And the mere thought of the blonde being left with the infant was too funny for anyone to contain. Even Henry laughed at the visual he got of her with a baby.
"Thank you" Replied snow. "For taking such an honor and responsibility. I chose my best friend, that despite her past, has become a very good woman. And a wonderful mother. Regina, will you?"
His frown deepened, and he shot more eye daggers at Regina. He couldn't understand how Snow could be so fucking stupid to not only love the Queen, but claim her as her best friend. The woman in question allowed her mouth to full drop, and she tried compute words. Snow looked at her expectantly.
"It would be dishonorable to deny such a request" Regina said slowly. Snow smiled a wicked smile her way. She knew she had just won a small battle with the ex-queen. "I simply can't wait for our next lunch date"
By that Regina meant that her honor code would never allow her say no. And she would most certainly be killing Snow the next time the two were alone. As it was completely against the bestfriend code, not to mention simply not cool, to put Emma and her in a boat like that. It annoyed, and aggravated the dark-haired woman to now end.
Snow had barely crested the top of the stairs when Regina was on her like white on rice. Snow would expect nothing less, and barely contained her smile as Regina started to rant and rave at her, as quietly as she could manage considering the sleeping baby in Snow's arms. She couldn't help but be amused, she had, after all, left Regina to stew in her anger for a week before finally popping in for a visit.
"How on earth did you think that was a good idea?" Regina, quite literally, whined. She plopped onto her couch, and Snow settled in the chair on the opposite of her. "I know what you are trying to do. How many times must we have this discussion?"
Tapping the arm of the couch Regina waited for Snow's answer. She was angry at the woman, infuriated really, but, Snow was her only true friend besides kathryn. And not even she could divulge the entirety of every truth to the blonde that she had, regrettably, married to Charming. She still felt bad for Kathryn and guilty over how she could do that to such a nice lady.
"It's simply a matter of time Regina. They are falling apart, have been for awhile. Since her memories are gone she sticks to what she knows, and she knows Ruby. But they are not meant to be" Snow said softly.
This woman was her friend, and she was holding a baby. Therefore Regina suppressed the urge to toss a fireball at Snow's face. She hated this conversation, she hated that they had it frequently. She hated allot of things, and did not have enough time in the world to list them all.
"Emma can not get her memories back. It's impossible, she would forever hate me for it. I don't know why you simply refuse to understand, no matter how many times. It's a circle Snow, and I am growing ever so tired from it" Regina sighed out.
Wringing her hands together, pretending they were around the pale skinned dark haired woman's neck. Squeezing the very life out of her. The thought calmed her, as it did every time she was forced into this same conversation. Who would ever think the mere thought of killing Snow would be therapeutic enough to get Regina through day to day life?
"Whatever hardships the spurned her into wanting to forget, into needing to so desperately. Well, true love can help her. With true love at your side you can move past anything. Together, you can heal. Apart you will never get better" Snow said, annoyance apparent in her tone.
Baby Eva let out a wail as Regina's hand slammed into the coffee table. She didn't wince from the pain, she just shook her head at her friend. This was not a conversation she wanted to repeat. Snow knew that, but she kept bringing it up whenever she could. Regina didn't know why Snow couldn't just accept her decision in the matter.
"Hardship?" Regina growled out. "I am her hardship. As I have said so many times before, I am the reason she is how she is. It was I who destroyed her. I am responsible for her life. How many times Snow? how many? Because I can't take much more" The last bit was said with defeat.
"Your guilt is misplaced, things happen to tear people apart. You need to move past it. So you can get her back, so together, you can make things right. She's miserable with Ruby. Please, Regina. She's your other half" Regina hated Snow's sweet tone. And she could take no more. She left the room, leaving a guilty looking Snow rocking her infant baby back to sleep.
The subject matter had not been brought up for two weeks, and Regina was thankful for it. Not that she would admit that to Snow. She sighed as she glanced up, and worry etched itself onto her face. She could see Henry running towards the house, tears streaming down his preteen face. It was his night with Emma, he shouldn't be home. She exited the kitchen and headed for the front door.
Tears and snot were rubbed into her neck and shoulder as Henry literally jumped into her arms when she opened the door. The force shocked her, not to mention the fact that while Emma had no problem carrying him around she could barely hold him up. She barely made it to the couch before her knees buckled.
Letting him cry before bombarding him with questions Regina allowed him to sit in her lap and cry it out. She desperately wished that she had a glass of apple cider in her hand. He cried and cried, and at the hour mark she could take no more silence outside of the boys sobs.
"May I inquire to what the problem is?" She asked quietly, rubbing his back. He was still clutching onto her with all his might. She received no answer,and felt no movement. She waited patiently.
Several minutes later Henry finally removed his head from Regina's now soaked and mucous covered neck. He wiped his eyes, and then the remainder of his snot on his shirt. Under any other circumstance she would have reprimanded him for such an action. Considering his emotional state of being, she fought the urge.
"Mom and Ruby. They. They broke up. And. They said they love each other, and will be friends. But there not true loves. And it's better if Emma moves out and they just be friends." He managed to get it all out before he burst into tears once more.
The werewolf had become an important figure in his life, and Regina understood that thanks to the breakup, the boy thought he would lose her. So she explained to him that she was sure Ruby would always be there for him. She soothed him the best he could, until she laid him down to bed.
Once he was down for the count she left the room and headed straight for the liquor cabinet. She needed a stiff drink, or two. Ruby and Emma separating made her feel both good, and bad inside. And she hated that. She had hoped they would work it out, but it seemed fate didn't want to listen to the powerful ex-queen.
A/N: Yes. I suck. I know this. *thumbs up* Anyway, I update when I can. For some reason I have just been massively blocked.