Too Many Years
Chapter 10
Mike felt like he had been holding his breath all afternoon, not knowing how Polly would react to the flowers that had been sent to her. She had always told him not to waste their money on such things. Maybe that was part of the problem. He had simply stopped bothering.
Thankfully, Matty slept most of the afternoon. Once he did wake up, he was not in a bad mood; he just wasn't talking. Mike had received a call from Matty's college recruiter, which Matty returned. His scholarship had been rescinded. He was encouraged to reapply on his scholastic accomplishments but would not be getting a full-ride scholarship. Mike had tried to assure him that they could afford to send him to college without a scholarship, but it was just another blow for Matty, even if it had been expected.
When Mike's high school sweetheart had died in car accident, Mike had been sent into a tail spin and he hadn't even been in the accident with Katie. Matty was struggling with far too much. And in true Matty fashion, he was trying to be okay. Mike finally sat down on the couch next to him, but Matty had turned away, looking out the window.
"You know, son; its okay not to be okay? No one expects you to sail through this. I don't understand about the leg or scholarship, but I do understand about Tara. I don't remember if I ever told you, but I dated a girl, named Katie, all through high school. We were going to get married, but she died in a car accident a month after graduation. It hurt for a good, long while. I went to college and met your mom. We started dating about a year after." Mike tried to reassure Matty, who only shook his head at him.
"You've told me before." Matty answered finally.
"Son, I want to help you. I just have to know how?" Mike begged. Polly was better at figuring out what was bothering all their kids, but she wasn't readily available.
"You missed your chance to help me." Matty remarked.
"How so?" Mike asked out of confusion.
"They told you that I was brain dead and that I could have been taken off life support and my organs could have helped people. A lot of people. You insisted that wouldn't happen and instead, I woke up like this. At least, if you had let me just die; I could have helped people. I can't even do that now. Everyone has to take care of me, and because of this; you and Mom got in a fight and she's left you and effectively me. Taken the younger kids with her and Grace and Hannah aren't around either. All of these years, all the hopes that you had for Lucas; you've pinned on me. Now what? Tommy? You'll fixate on him like you've done with me? What happens if he cracks under the pressure you've put on me to be like Lucas? You let him leave like you let Mom leave? Why do you think Grace and Hannah both took off for years? Because they couldn't handle all the pressure you've put on them too. They had to travel to Spain and Africa to get away from you! I'm not even capable of that! And Max? He told me before the accident that he is going to sign up for submarine service in the Navy. If he gets to do that, he'll be going to the bottom of the ocean to get away from you!" Matty raged. Mike knew most of it was due to the head injury, but it was still hard to hear. He also knew, Matty needed to say everything he was saying.
"I am not going to apologize for wanting you to survive and it wasn't only my decision. Your mom and your older sisters had an opinion in it too. We all wanted to give you a bit longer, and then you showed signs of improvement. Maybe I have put a lot of pressure on you kids, to succeed, to exceed what I accomplished. I hate to break it to you, but that is what parents do. I am sorry if you think I have pinned all my hopes for Lucas on you and now am disappointed in you. I am not. As far as your mom is concerned, it is going to take me some time; but I am working on getting her back. I didn't realize how I had been treating her, not just after your accident, but even before. It is going to take us some time to fix all of that. You have not lost her or your brothers and sisters. We all love you." Mike stated as calmly as he could. Matty had gone back to looking out of the window and Mike rubbed his face. He heard his cellphone ding on the counter and stood up. Mike squeezed his shoulder as he passed by and then walked into the kitchen. He smiled when he saw the text from Polly.
"Can I drop Tommy off? Gabby and Rebecca have a softball game and Charlotte is with Hannah, playing with Henry. Tommy is missing you and Matty and has a new video game that he wants to play with Matty." Polly's text read. Mike was a little shocked that she didn't mention the flowers but decided not to draw attention to it.
"Of course. It would do Matty a lot of good. Me too. Hate that I'm missing the girls' ball game, but it is just not logistical right now for Matty. And he lost his scholarship. He's in a mood." Mike answered.
"Who could blame him? I'll be there in 15. I'm running late so I'll just drop Tommy and Hannah may need to drop Charlotte off with you, depending on how late the game goes." Polly answered back.
"Alright." Mike texted back.
"Hey, Matty; Mom just texted. She's dropping Tommy by and Charlotte might be dropped off later. She says Tommy has a new videogame he wants to play with you." Mike told Matty.
"Okay." Matty responded. Even though his back was turned away from Mike, he could hear a slight smile with the simple response. It gave Mike the hope he needed.
True to her word, Polly pulled in fifteen minutes later. Tommy jumped out of the SUV, and she left without talking to Mike who had stepped out onto the front porch. Mike was a little disappointed but thrilled to see his youngest son. It had been a week since he had seen Tommy and he had missed him. Tommy gave him a huge smile and Mike wrapped an arm around his shoulders.
"Thank you for wanting to come over. Matty and I have both been missing you." Mike told the twelve-year-old.
"I wanted to. Mom said to tell you that Hannah was bringing Charlotte by in about an hour." Tommy said with a smile as they walked in to the house. Matty was still on the couch, but at least greeted Tommy with a big smile.
"Okay. You guys play your game. I'm going to get supper started. Burgers on the grill sound good?" Mike asked.
"Yeah! I'm starving." Tommy stated as he was setting the game system up. Fortunately the controllers reached to the couch and Mike stepped out on the back deck to start the burgers. He had wanted to watch Matty play to test his hand-eye coordination, but Mike also knew, he needed the time with the happy-go-lucky Tommy. Mike had lost track of time, knowing that Tommy would get him if he was needed. He was shocked when Hannah stepped out on the back deck.
"Hey, sis." Mike stated.
"Hey. You okay? The boys said you had been out here for a while. I was just dropping Charlotte off." Hannah asked as she gave Mike a hug and kiss.
"Yeah, was just messing around with this new grill. How are things? I've barely asked." Mike asked.
"Good. We found a house. Working out details now, but its nice. Course, we have lived in a converted shipping container for the past couple years, so our version of nice is questionable. Once things settle, I have a couple projects that I could use my dad for?" Hannah hinted.
"Of course. Probably would do me some good to work on a project. How's Henry?" Mike asked.
"Oh, he's having a blast. I watched Hope, Andrew and Christa yesterday at Grace's. Loves all the cousin time. Dad, stop beating around the bush; how are you really? We are all worried about you." Hannah asked.
"I'm…okay, I am not okay. Yesterday took me by surprise and I don't much like being separated. Alec told me I needed to 'date' Polly. I sent her flowers today, but she made no mention of them when she texted me about Tommy coming over." Mike stated.
"Did you have them delivered to the church?" Hannah asked.
"Yeah, figured that is where she was." Mike said as he flipped the burgers.
"Well, I can explain why she didn't comment on them. Grace, Maggie and I took her out for the afternoon. Ryan and Alec watched the kids and we spoiled Mom. Figured she needed a bit of a reset. We took her to Springfield, got her hair done, a facial, a manicure and pedicure. The whole bit. Couple new outfits too. Totally new haircut and color and make-up. When you do see her…Dad, I know this isn't your thing, but mention it. Don't use words like pretty or beautiful. Use hot or sexy? Whatever. I think she needs to hear that from you. And I do think you will like what you see." Hannah told him.
"Okay, thank you for taking her out. And saying she is hot or sexy right now might get me slapped." Mike joked.
"Or kissed." Hannah said before she walked back into the house. Mike took the burgers off the grill, shut it off and followed her inside. Charlotte was sitting between her big brother's, engrossed in their game, but also cuddling close to Matty. As badly as Mike would have wanted a hug from her, what she was doing for Matty was much more important.
"Are you staying for supper?" Mike asked as he set everything up on the table.
"No, I got to head back. Talk to you later. I love you, Daddy." Hannah said as she grabbed her purse and gave him another hug and kiss.
"I love you too, sissy. Thank you for what you did for Polly." Mike said. Hannah nodded back at him and walked into the living room, giving both her brothers hugs and giving Charlotte a kiss.
"Just remember what I said, Daddy. It goes with the dating that Alec talked about. Mom loves you and you love her but you need the same spark back that you had way back. Us kids will help you both get that back." Hannah said before leaving.
It took some work to get Matty to the dining table, and Mike hated seeing all the empty chairs, but at least having Tommy and Charlotte there helped Matty's disposition. They talked, laughed and visited. As Mike cleaned up supper, he received another text from Polly.
"Game is done, and girls won. They want ice cream. I figured that I would go and get the fixings and we could all have sundaes together?" Polly asked. It was a frequent tradition after the kid's games.
"That sounds good. I've missed all of you." Mike responded. He didn't get a response back but at least he would get to see his daughters.
A half-hour later, Polly pulled in. Mike made a point to walk out on the porch. The girls got out of the car first, but Polly was talking on the phone. Rebecca gave him a hug as she passed by but Gabby completely ignored him. They had carried the ice cream in with them, but Mike waited on Polly. Finally, she got out of the SUV and offered Mike a slight smile. Hannah had been right about one thing. She looked incredible. Her normally curly hair was straightened and fell to just below her shoulders. It had been dyed and covered the gray. Her make-up was done and Mike didn't recognize the outfit. She was wearing what his girls called a skort and a tank-top. It accented her figure perfectly.
"You look incredible. I love the hair. I was told to tell you that you were sexy, but I was too afraid that you'd slap me; although you do look sexy." Mike said as he gave Polly a stiff hug. Despite that it was not like their normal hugs, it felt good to just hold her, even if it was only for a second.
"Yeah, I caught you checking me out. You've not done that in a while." Polly said with a smile. Mike still had his arm around her, and they were walking up the walk to the house.
"Yeah, you got me on that. I should have. It is really good to have you here too." Mike answered.
"Well, despite everything, I've missed you too. So, that was Pastor John that I was talking to. He said that I have a dozen pink roses on my desk. You know anything about that?" Polly asked.
"A thing or two. I thought you were working this afternoon, but I am really glad you got away." Mike said as they stepped up on the porch.
"Yeah, the girls insisted. It got a little expensive and…I hadn't separated our checking accounts yet. That seemed…final. Hope you don't mind. If so, I can pay you on Monday when I…" Polly started.
"Its fine. We have it. I'm just glad you enjoyed yourself. Do you have everything you need at the parsonage? As badly as I want you and the kids back here, I also want you all comfortable for as long as this lasts. How are the kids doing with this?" Mike asked. They sat down on the front porch in the rocking chairs and Polly visibly faltered.
"Not…well. Gabby is tackling everything with her typical attitude. I have the girls in one bedroom and Rebecca and Charlotte on a bunk bed. It has not been a good adjustment for them. They are used to a lot of space, even though they share rooms and since Tommy is the only boy there, he gets his own room. When Max and Gabby were little, the parsonage worked perfectly for me, but now; not so much and I still haven't figured out how I am going to make Max's boot camp graduation. I can't afford the plane ticket and I can't ask you to fork the money out. He's…struggling with all this too. Matty getting hurt, and he is afraid now that you and I are separated, he isn't allowed to call you. I told him that even if you don't love me, you still love him and Gabby, but…I don't know." Polly finally finished and Mike reached over and squeezed her hand.
"First of all, I still love you and I love Max and Gabby too. Have him call me. The kids can stay over anytime. You too, for that matter. We have enough room that we can sleep in separate rooms, although I will admit, I would much prefer you sleeping on my chest. As far as Max's graduation; I want to go too but it'll depend on Matty. Regardless, you are going. The kids can stay with me, if I can't go. I will take care of your travel and hotel arrangements. I want you at the safest hotel in Chicago. If I can't make it, I do ask that you video it. I love that boy and have since well before you and I got married. He's the reason that I found you. If…and I don't want this to be the end between you and I, but if it is, I will always be thankful that I met that little boy. Had you and him and Gabby all these years. Babe, I still haven't figured out how to fix this, but I do know, I want to. Alec gave me a 'Come to Jesus' today. Told me that I needed to date you, hence the flowers. I don't really know if that is an answer or not. You can tell me to bug off, for that matter. I am not done with this marriage, but I know that I hurt you; and probably long before Matty's accident. I stopped noticing you. Alec told me that I might have fallen out of love with you, while I still love you. I don't really understand that because I have always loved you. Hannah said we lost our spark. I don't know about all that. We didn't really date when we could have, but would you go on a date with me?" Mike asked and then laughed when Polly laughed.
"I suppose so. I am not ready to move back in though. Not just because of what you did, but also because of what I did." Polly remarked.
"I'm not understanding you." Mike stated.
"Mike, I could have been more supportive when Matty was hurt. I should have understood why you would want to stay with him. I also shouldn't have implied that you didn't care about and would stop caring for our other kids. Shouldn't have jumped to conclusions and should have spoke with you before I moved out. I also had a 'Come to Jesus' talk today, first with Maggie and then with Pastor John and Melody. I also love Matty and I know he's struggling too. He needed me here when he got home and I've failed him. I think that is probably more unforgivable then what I've done to you. He had already lost so much and I took even more away from him." Polly explained.
"Sounds like we have ourselves quite the dilemma. How do we fix it?" Mike asked.
"I don't know. I just know that because of what I did, the choices I made, I made things harder and caused more problems between you and Gabby. That is part of the reason that I can't move back in here immediately. She's terribly angry at you right now and I don't want to expose Matty to it. They have always been so close and he...Maggie said he is really hurting. Gabby thinks that you threw us out. And then you didn't call or come by. I understand it, you were hurt by what I did, and you were busy with Matty, but it made matters worse. Fourteen-year-old mind doesn't understand the specifics. Its confusing. I do think that she needs to see us doing what you suggested. Dating? Falling back in love? There is going to be a lot to work through and it will take time. I am sorry I can't just move back in and I do…want to be careful in how we do this. We had better get back inside. Good talk, though?" Polly asked.
"Yep, just what we needed." Mike stated as they both stood up. He leaned over and kissed the top of her head and grabbed her hand. They walked in and smiled at their kids all sitting on the couch, talking with Matty and eating their ice cream. For Mike and Polly both, it was a sign of hope.