Author's note: h-hi? erm...well, this is awkward. been a while...aw, i missed you guys! -shot- nuuu
i'm very sorry. i know there have been people messaging and reviewing telling me to update (even on dA!), but the truth is...life is happening again. yea, school, HW, curfews...the whole enchilada. mm...mexican food...but! that's not the point. what i'm trying to say is that i am officially back to updating on weekends as best i can! please bare with me, please? -cricket-
well, i started this last week, got sidetracked, then finished tonight by going over my curfew by...oh...40 minutes. XDD but that's ok...because this chapter is importante. MUCHO importante. -not spanish- enjoy...! -ducks-
Chapter 10: Double Whammy
Have I mentioned how much I still love Roxas yet? No? Yes? Well let me take this opportune moment to say that, yes, yes I do and I don't think there's a single doubt in my mind about that changing. So what if he happens to have little Miss Namine with him? Newsflash: he's kissing me right now. I don't wanna sound snooty or anything...I'm just saying that it'll take a lot for Roxas to forget me. That's just how memories work.
We'd maybe entered our fifth minute of kissing and just when the little hideaway started spinning Roxas slowly inched his face away from me. Being the ever-so-stubborn me, I tried leaning in for another, but he just turned his head away. Slap. Reject. I raised an eyebrow down at him, still kneeling on the floor.
"What's up?" I asked, trying to control my breathing.
He took a moment of silence, just drawing up thoughts on the floor, before scooting away and getting up on one knee. I couldn't help but feel iffy, even clingy when he started getting up and my first reaction was to pull him right back down. No way. No way in hell was Roxas leaving me again.
"Roxas," I said pretty seriously. "What's wrong?"
"Axel...I..." He unconsciously tapped his upper lip with his finger, probably still wrapping the thought that we'd made out around his head, and then spun around toward the hallway after getting back up. I followed that example and tried for a different approach with holding an untamed Roxas back. Flinging my arms out, I stepped forward and wrapped them around his neck, tugging him back next to me. I just proved that the usual "wrist-grabbing" was a big no-no.
Come on, we're not girls.
"If you hate me, then—"
"I don't hate you! I thought we covered that." Roxas didn't turn around when he said any of that and just stood there, unmoving while I held him back against my chest.
"Then quit runnin', will ya?"
"What else can I do? I already told you...Namine—"
"Namine, Namine," I sighed to the ceiling before lowering my forehead against his top spikes. I admitted: I liked the girl; she was sweeter than candy and syrup combined. But when it came to the topic of Roxas, she just turned into enemy number one. Imagine...me battling it out with Namine? Jerry Springer won't be able to handle that.
"Tell me, when was the last time you even said you liked her?" Oops. Shouldn't've said that. I didn't even need a reaction from Roxas to know what I'd said was bad. Running through warzones of cussing in my head, I pushed my face even deeper into Roxas' skull, trying to give him the message that I couldn't, couldn't afford to let him leave.
"The last time? Liked her? I didn't say—" But before he could finish responding, I felt something vibrating on my leg. Despite the fact that it felt extremely out of place, I didn't slip my arms away until Roxas made the first move; reaching to his back pocket and pulling free a clunky old cell phone.
Throw it away, forget yesterday. We'll make the great escape. We won't hear a word they say. They don't know us anyway. Watch it burn, let it die, 'cause we are finally free tonight...
"He-hello?" Roxas stuttered into the cell, taking a step away with a single hand rubbing at his neck. I didn't realize that I'd been staring at him possessively until I realized how tightly I was fisting my hands and wishing I'd still had him.
"Oh...oh, yeah! Yeah, we're fine...uh-huh...yeah...we're just heading back to the house from...erm..." He paused, glanced back at me for a second before adding, "from walking around the neighborhood...yeah, I was just showing Axel around, you know, for an update on the place...yeah, we'll be there in a bit...sure, we'll meet up with you there." After that cute convo, Roxas pulled the phone away from his mouth.
"Who was--?" I stepped toward him but was stopped when the other line let out a loud, last second message.
"I love you!"
No...no, don't answer...don't answer tha—
"Love you too." And with a faint smile and a laugh, Roxas shut the phone just as the girl on the other line happily responded: "Love you more." As if considering the situation, Roxas held onto the cell, blankly staring at it with dark eyes before pursing his lips and shoving it back in his pocket. Honestly, that crushed me right there.
With a hand behind my head, I walked up to him and already inched toward the white light in the hallway. "Guess that answers my question." Sorta.
Roxas just didn't respond. In fact, the whole time we walked through those Twilight Zone hallways and down the never ending flight of stairs, we didn't say a word. Very surprising for me. We found Riku lying down in somewhat of a fetal position in the waiting area, his eyes vaguely twitching like he was having a bad dream. The nurse at the front desk said he'd call tomorrow and meet up with us later on.
With that, Roxas and I accepted her condolences for dad's death and then shuffled over to and out the automatic exit doors. Just when we'd set foot into the suddenly freezing cold darkness I overheard that same lady in labor from earlier whisper up to her husband from her wheelchair:
"I love you."
I barely even heard the answer and I wasn't all too sure that I wanted to anyway. I just shoved my hands into my pockets and ducked my head into my chest like a turtle. If I hadn't been paying a attention I would've completely lost Roxas in the dark walk back to the house. Maybe I just should've let it happen. Too many things were messing with me today; death, pain and love out of all things.
Honestly, when was the last time that Roxas ever said he loved me?
xxXXxx
"You know something, honey?"
"Hm?"
"You know that I love you, right?"
"What're you talking about?"
"Oh...I'm just saying that even though I may not say it a lot...I really do love you."
"Mom, come on."
"I'm serious!"
"Hah...ok, fine. I figured you did anyway. Parents are supposed to do that, aren't they?"
"I keep thinking that I have to give you more; to make up for what dad never gave to you."
"Well...he doesn't concern me."
"Axel."
"What? It's true, right?"
"...He's still your father, you know."
"I know, I know. But that's all he is: some guy related to me. Nothing special."
"I guess that's partly my fault, huh?"
"What?"
"Oh, nothing."
"No, really, what'd you say?"
"It's nothing, it's nothing."
"No. Mom. Mom! Hey! Mom!"
All of the sudden I figured that I'd been talking to nothing but air. I mean, I couldn't see her face. Why was it that I was starting to lose everything all at once? Or maybe...why was I just being abandoned? Man, I hated being depressed.
I shot up from bed after realizing that my inner me was screaming for mom like some lost kid on the street. The second I started gazing around the sun drenched room, panting lightly, the whole dream conversation faded and I forgot why I'd been calling someone in the first place. What made it weirder was that I felt watched.
Not bothering to pull on a shirt or fix the bed sheets, I hopped out of bed and quickly strolled over to the bedroom door which was left open a crack, avoiding Zipper while he swerved in between my feet. I kicked him in the butt, making him whimper and hide behind me, and attempted to pull the door open quietly but just ended up making it creak like some dying animal. Crud.
With the whole spy agent attempt gone down the drain, I cautiously peered around the living room, immediately spotting Hayner plopped face down on a throw pillow and, surprisingly, Roxas looking half asleep a few steps from where I was standing. He was sitting with his white and black pajamas on, his back against the wall, knees pulled under his chin and eyes half shut.
"Roxas?" I half whispered, taking a step toward him. When I'd put my foot down his head twitched and soon he was locking eyes with mine, looking like more than a deer in the headlights. "What're you doing down there?"
I caught this small blush tinting his face when he answered. "Erm...R-Riku called."
"Called? How'd you--?"
"You left your phone in the living room last night. He's on his way here. I told him where to go." Roxas hesitantly pulled his left hand out from his lap and, not bothering to look at me, handed the cell over to my already outstretched hand. I gripped onto it, barely touching his thumb when I did, and ended up giving him a smirk. I wasn't sure if I meant that or not...
"Feeling like Sleeping Beauty over there?" I asked, nodding over to Hayner who was still being a couch potato. Roxas huffed, standing up after. The pink in his face had already gone. Great. That just made me think that what we'd done last night was all because of the stupid martini I'd given him. Yeah, some sex pistol I am.
"Not so much. Can't believe he'd go that far last night."
Yeah. Hayner was a real animal. Roxas and I came home before the rest of them and I thought I'd gotten the perfect opportunity to talk things out with him; sneak in an apology even. But before I could he just slumped inside and emoed on the couch until the other 4 showed up, Hayner singing Do you know the way to San Francisco in some pirate voice with his arm wrapped around Sora's slumped shoulders. Thankfully, Spiky was responsible enough to stay sober and just threw Hayner on the couch where he instantly passed out.
As for the girls? Oh, do I really gotta say it?
Kairi: complains about feeling nasty and prances upstairs to take a shower.
Namine: sweetly shows her disapproval of me and Roxas ditching and then hugs him before following after Kairi to fix herself up.
Yes. Yes she did hug him. And you know what...I felt the jealous bug creeping into my chest again. Where'd she sleep I wondered...
Shaking that thought away, I let Roxas turn away and purposely stamp his feet against the carpet, making the room shake and the floors squeak. I didn't figure out what in the hell he was doing until I saw him grab two throw pillows and, like their names suggest, throw them angrily at Hayner's head. Hayner groaned into the couch and poked one eye out from under the pillow.
"Whaaat?" he mumbled.
"Get up there and water yourself down before I toss you in the backyard!"
"Nnh...lemealone."
"Get-UP!" Roxas grabbed another pillow and this time walked up to Hayner and started bashing him upside the head with it repetitively. I leaned against the doorframe, eying Roxas' playtime with interest. Yeah, he used to do that stuff to me...ugh, jealousy. I couldn't help but feel a sudden "grrness" at Hayner too. I knew it. Roxas was slipping away bit by bit.
The second I sighed about it, one of Roxas' ammunition flew right back at him smacking him square on the cheek and making him falter back into the nearest arm chair. I almost ran out to help him up, being as caring as I am, but the sound of something held me back.
DING DONG
"Will someone get that?" Namine called from upstairs.
Hayner quickly pulled a pillow over his face; making it more than obvious that he wasn't gonna do it. And seeing as Roxas was sorta tangled up in war, I gathered myself up and strolled over to the front door, unlocking at least 3 padlocks before being able to pull it wide open. This huge heat wave hit me and the sunlight made it virtually impossible to see who'd done the ding-donging.
"Wouldn't hurt to put a shirt on, would it?"
I smiled, recognizing the voice of Riku in a spilt second and put a hand over my eyes to block the sun out. "Sexy, right?"
He scoffed and just shook his head at me, making the dark blue scarf around his neck shake. Hold up...scarf? What in the hell? Didn't he see, even feel that it was at least 80 out? Ignoring it, I stepped to the side for him to come inside. When he didn't, I just stood there, dumbstruck. I didn't like emo Riku very much...
"Axel..." He took in a deep breath then started again. "You're not gonna like me much after this."
I raised an eyebrow, crossing my arms. The sudden sound of throwing pillows stopped behind me. "What's up?
"It's...not that I really wanted to..."
"Wanted what?"
After switching glances between me and most likely Roxas behind my back, Riku shifted on his feet and, tucking his mouth behind the scarf, mumbled, "I called Larxene."
"...What?" I had to say that with the least amount of displeasure as possible. Sure, Riku knew that I wasn't all too happy with Larxene, but he didn't know that I didn't want to be with her. He didn't know that I was head over heels for an entirely different person...a guy. What was worse: Roxas didn't know diddlysquat about Larxene and me. This was bad...
Thinking fast, I shot toward Riku and instantly slapped a firm hand over his scarf-covered mouth. He grumbled about it but after a quick shushing he shrunk back while I glared at him. It just felt like it got a lot quieter in the living room.
"Outside. We'll be outside, guys!" I cheerfully called over my shoulder at Roxas and Hayner before turning Riku around and pushing him further into the heat wave. With that done I shut the door until it was just open a crack and turned around to stare him down, hands on hips like some lecturing mother.
"Now what about Larxene?"
"I know you're not totally in love with her and all, but since dad's gone it only makes sense that they come over here to say goodbye. Dad's still mom's ex, you know."
I started tapping my foot and my level of likeness for Riku was slowly starting to drop. "Why can't mom just come over then?''
" Reno's part of the family."
"And Larxene..."
"Being your girlfriend, and given the fact that she lives with you...that makes her part of the family too."
"When...when're they coming? The train—"
"The train makes an exception for families experiencing loss, surprisingly. So it'll make a quick stopover and pick 'em up."
"When'd you call her?"
"...I actually called her before dad died. She wanted to know how I was and all...so they wanted to stop by."
"What?" That time I started pacing in front of him, thinking things through...not like it was working. "So that means..."
"It means that they could've left yesterday or even the day before. I dunno. If that's the case, they could be here. But I think that's pretty unlikely. The train's not that—"
"You said you knew you're way around here."
"I do know my way, geez!"
"Yeah, then where are we exactly?"
"Well...what about you? You grew up here, didn't you?"
"Yeah, but I never went around this part of town!"
"Ugh...here, why don't we just turn over..."
I looked up from the ground, sorta like rabbits do when they hear something strange, and noticed that Riku had done the same by the time I peered down the stairs to my right. It didn't take much more than a voice for me to figure out who I'd just heard. Sure enough, and before I even got the chance to run, he rounded the corner; same red, spiky ponytail and cheap business suit thrown on.
"Fuck."
"Excuse me?" Riku asked with the normal volume in his voice...which sounded more like intense yelling to me. I lunged at him again, this time missing his arm and grabbed at the closest thing to me: his scarf. I tugged at it like a leash and started dragging him backwards toward the house.
"Come on, come on! Not good!"
"Mm! Axel!"
I shut him up again with another pull, this time swinging the door open and tripping all over myself which made Riku come down with me. And, seeing as he was all about the layers of winter apparel today, I felt like he had to have disfigured something in my body. Biting my lip, I squinted, just as Riku quickly sat up, and with a push, made him roll off of me so I could slam the door shut.
Phew.
"Damn..."
"Axel? What the heck's wrong with you?" Riku spat while turning around with a look like he wanted to tear me apart.
"I just—"
"Riku? Axel!" Hearing that scream, I glanced over my shoulder just when Roxas popped out of his seat and came to my rescue. Ah, my hero. He dropped down in between us and, ignoring Hayner's sudden explosion of insane laughing, started looking me over. I smiled at his sympathy and stood back up, completely disregarding Riku's existence.
"What happened?" Roxas asked, getting up in a flush.
I crossed my arms before answering. "Way too hot out there."
"Liar..."
"'Scuse me?" I glared, smile turning evil, down at Riku who was struggling to get up with all that weight working against him.
"Too hot? As if."
"Is...something bugging you?" Roxas asked that so shyly it was like he'd just met me on the side of the street. Desperate for his attention, I looked back, smile turning back to happy, and waved a hand in front of my face.
"Fine." How was I actually talking to him right now, or flat out talking in general? I still remembered what he'd said to Namine on the phone last night and it was killing me every damn second. But what can I do? I knew one thing: I needed to get Roxas alone to fix it.
Already getting excited on the plan, I took a step toward Roxas and cleared my throat, making him look back at me with concern. I figured this pattern out: whenever I got hurt/pretended to be, he'd concentrate on me. Selfish? No. Smart. Putting that smartness to use, I placed a hand on one of Roxas' shoulders. The shock...he didn't twitch. Not one bit.
That kiss must've done something.
"Hey. I wanted t' talk t' you about something."
"What?"
"Well...about last—" I'd lowered my voice so Riku wouldn't hear, but I didn't get the chance to push the secret conversation out before the demon doorbell started ringing throughout the house. Defeated, I sighed to the ground, looking away when I noticed a familiar rush of blonde and white skipping down the stairs.
"I'll get it! Oh, Hayner...water yourself down, huh? Especially when..." Catching the sight of Riku, Namine let out a surprised gasp, nodded sweetly at him and hurriedly bounded over to the door. Ugh, just let the stupid girl scouts or whatever sell their things and...
With my back still turned on her, I started feeling my suspiciousness rise at the moment of silence. Don't people normal greet with a hello or a squeal? Judging by the look on Roxas' face, obviously not for Namine. I didn't turn back around and decided to let the picture paint itself.
"Oh, my..."
"Hey...!"
"Hey! Wow, is it really you?"
"Always has been!"
Following that was the girly laughing from two people, Namine and the somewhat unidentified girl that'd just showed her face. Did I really want to identify her even? Maybe it'd be better if I dragged Roxas up the stairs without question or greeting...something told me that Roxas wasn't going anyway. He just looked like he was about to pass out from a full body failure. I really would've taken him away at that point; just find somewhere where he wouldn't hurt anymore. I guess most of that pain is my fault...I had a lot of apologizing to do.
"What're you doing here?"
"Me? Oh...just..." The dolled up voice, the sighing, the staged pause...Jane Doe suddenly came into clear view. I braced myself for impact and dug my fingers into Roxas' shoulder. That time, he shook, but not because I'd touched him. Because of her.
"Axel."
Roxas absently lowered his eyes, seemingly putting the situation together, loosened his fingers and unsteadily whispered, "Larxene..."
xxXXxx
3 days. I'd been here 3 days, trying to find the least bit of sanctuary away from home. I'd been keeping away from the family purposely. You know that feeling where you suddenly get annoyed with everyone around you? Friends, family...can't stand them in a second. Turns out that that feeling was lasting a bit longer than expected with the people I lived with.
And after only 3 days of living life again, they had to come back and intervene. I'm harsh, I know. But I never ask for anything...is asking to be left alone too much?
I started gathering all these thoughts up that night, just when Hayner was finally physically human again, Sora had shut off his video game after shooting all day, Kairi had finally gotten up from her sick bed and Namine decided that we "socialize" with each other like it was "a party". As for Roxas and I, we were forced to sit separate from each other, seeing as Larxene was so obviously "mine".
I like her and all...but why can't she just fall in love with Reno?
"So you just randomly found us here?" Hayner asked in between swallowing his 3rd aspirin. At his left, Reno wrapped a friendly arm around his shoulder and gave him a supportive shake. Hayner just stared at his hand like it was death itself.
"Axel was smooth enough to give us a little hint." Reno winked and I gave him the finger under the table.
"Meaning?"
"Meaning that I happened to be passing by and he kept screaming loudly enough for me to hear him. My dear cousin..." After patting Hayner sharply on the back, Reno slipped his arm back and leaned into the table with his fingers intertwined with each other. "Love him dearly."
"Yeah. With all my heart," I said sarcastically, but he just took it all as a true compliment.
"You never told me you were staying here, Axel." To my right, Larxene was sitting with her legs crossed under the table, occasionally nibbling at the salad on her plate that hadn't gotten any smaller since she started 30 minutes ago. I barely glanced at her in the corner of my eye and only acknowledged that she'd talked by shrugging.
Being Larxene, she wouldn't let that end the convo at all. "Just picked up and left, you know. I thought he was coming here on business."
Right across from her was Roxas, clearly pretending to enjoy the company of Larxene. Yeah, he liked my mom and I wasn't all too sure about Reno...but Larxene...he never really liked her. She crushed on me while we were "together" and it ultimately destroyed him.
"Dude's in modeling," Reno blurted out, pointing his fork at me. Mom, sitting to my left, kicked him under the table, and by the looks of Reno's face, she'd aimed in the happy spot. "Well he is!"
Mom tucked some hair behind her ear and sighed while turning to Hayner who was stifling a laugh behind his water glass. "See...we actually came here because...we were told that—"
"You sure you're gonna mention it?" Reno put his fork down with a clank and suddenly the table dropped in a freaky silence. Only the weather report on the TV inched way into the frozen discussion. Everyone but me turned to mom, forks down and breathing kept to a minimum.
Confidently, and with a tiny smirk, mom clapped her hands together and started. "We were told that Axel and Riku's father recently passed away."
Scattered gasps and 'oh-no's' made me shrink into myself. I couldn't figure out why I was acting so shy all of a sudden! Oh, that kiss really did do something. I just didn't think it'd be this. I eventually looked up to see Roxas and Namine staring at me; Roxas drawing a blank and Namine on the verge of crying with her hand closed over her lips.
"We actually were supposed to come here just to keep in touch with these two...but plans changed and now we have to alter our schedule to make room for Arson's death." I could tell that she didn't want to delve on the topic much and right when she ended the sentence, the sorry's spilled out and were soon covered up by forks scraping and the news people chatting away.
Arson really wasn't a fun topic around town, not just here. Everyone knew what he'd done before so it was sort of like superstition. If anyone mentioned his name, I guess he'd go for them next. Thanks, Arson. Thanks a lot.
"Oh, and, Axel?"
"Hm?" I turned a bit to Larxene who I could tell was fully facing me.
"Ayden says he really misses you. He's coming in from the train station tomorrow once his school lets him out."
"You left him alone?" I whispered, catching Roxas' split second glance that screamed: "Who's Ayden?"
She shook her head, making her old style pigtails bounce. "You know Demyx, right? He promised to take care of him for a night before he comes here. You know, he didn't like it when you ran out."
"Ran--?" I quickly stopped myself from going over my limit, and turned back to ignore the topic for good. Man, I really cared for that kid a lot. But when it came to "responsibility this" and "responsibility that", I wanted to forget that I'd ever posed as his father. Larxene was apparently pissed off at me. I just wished she didn't have to make it "apparent".
"Larxene?" Namine brought up. "Sorry, but, can I ask who Ayden is?"
Since the two have been besties since the caveman era, it didn't really bother Larxene when Namine brought personal questions up. So with a happy smile and a laugh, Larxene leaned toward her and started loud enough for the entire table to hear. Damn, damn, damn...
"Ayden? Oh, he's just Axel's and my—"
"Oy, check out the news, man."
Slumping forward, Larxene sighed heavily after getting cut off. Like I said before: thank God for Reno. I swear, before they leave, I'll admit that he's related to me, even buy him a life time supply of beer (which he most likely would never turn down). Noticing that everyone had spun around toward the living room television, I tried listening in.
"...has gone missing. Officers say how strange of a coincidence this is, following the death of the former runaway and drug user, Arson. Following Arson's release, some witnesses claim that he kept in close contact with this man when it came to keeping the drug business. Now after Arson's death, officers have been conducting a wide ranged search around town for his now missing partner at an attempt to end the future dealing. A description..."
But the news already had me at 'missing'. After that, hearing about Arson was just old news. Missing? Who was missing? Partner? Who was his partner? And what were they talking about 'deals'? I tried being low key when I asked, not really wanting to show that I cared when I, actually, did.
"Deals? As in drug deals?"
Reno shook his head disappointedly at the screen then started muttering to himself into his arm. Hayner had started up a conversation with Sora, just barely getting Kairi to calm down as she started freaking out about 'the world coming to get her'. The other three girls were sitting quietly in their seats, picking out loose words and information from the TV over the sudden outburst around the table. Roxas...
I blinked and averted my eyes from Namine to Roxas who had suddenly pressed his back away from the TV and shut his eyes as if thinking long and hard. Normally when that happens, he either secludes himself in the emo corner or just won't talk for decades. Ok, Axel, take your pick: which one? Huh...what about neither?
I quickly peered around the table as I stretched my right leg out under the table. It didn't take longer than a second for me to feel something hit the tip of my foot and to receive a shocked breath from Roxas. His blue eyes flipped open and wandered across the surface of the table to me where he gently cocked his head to the side. Seeing that, I nudged my head toward the kitchen behind me. When that didn't get the message across, I resorted to words instead. Never was a sign language person.
"Hey, I'm gonna head outside for a second, 'kay guys?" I said over Kairi's uncontrollable moment of panic. When I did, I stood up quickly and already started toward the dark kitchen, twitching my finger slightly for Roxas to follow.
"You feeling ok, hun?" Mom asked.
"I told you, I'm fine." Even though she started up insisting again, I simply went further into the kitchen, only bothering to push the back sliding door open when I heard a chair being pushed back and rushed footsteps following up behind me.
xxXXxx
"Did...did the news bother you? I mean, I could've changed the—"
I held up my hand and pressed my back against the edge of the deck. "No. No it's not that. Geez, Roxas, you really worry about me, don't ya?" I said with a laugh.
He didn't answer and instead took the spot next to me, folding his arms over the railing and burying his chin in them. Being night time, I could barely see his shadow sitting in the dark next to me, but when a short puff of wind blew past us, I caught his hair gently blowing to side along with it. It just felt like one of those romantic scenes in the movies, you know? Every time the smallest perfection on him showed, I nearly sank.
Love sick, I guess.
With the wind blowing past me, I vacantly stared out at the dots of light polka-dotting the town below us and eventually managed to take advantage of singling Roxas out.
"Hey," I started, voice low. "I'm...sorry about yesterday...at the hospital, I mean."
When he kept quiet, I continued.
"I shouldn't've taken you there."
"It was my decision," he said in a raspy voice. I saw him turn his head a bit to talk to me.
"Yeah, but...you got hurt there, didn't you? And I just ran out on you?"
He furiously shook his head, stuttering once. After, his eyes looked up through the black and I thought I saw them puddling again. But Roxas was stronger than crying, right?
"Sure, it was a little upsetting, but I was standing, alright? Besides," he brought his voice down and looked back at his folded arms. "You had every reason to run off. He was your dad and all."
I would've barked something at him for saying that. Actually, I would've made it loud enough for everyone to hear, seeing as everyone was telling me that Arson was my dad. Dammit, he wasn't supposed to be. Close to my limit, I faced him and had to bite the tip of my tongue for the next sorry to come out.
"Anyway...also...about after I ditched..."
Roxas' head rose at that.
"It just looked like I pushed you, so...sorry for that too. I was just—"
"Why would you apologize?" When he turned his head to me his voice rose faintly in light shock and annoyance. In Roxas language, that meant he was softening up to me. I just had to push a little harder to make him snap.
"Come on, you wouldn't even look at me after that."
"That doesn't prove I hated you." 30
"Just felt like you did, that's all I'm saying."
I heard him tapping his fingers on the wooden railing in an uneven rhythm then him starting to speak just as equally uneasily. 50. Any second now...just let it all out, Rox. You don't do this then you'll suffer hell. His feet shifted on the floor and his eyes constantly ran across my face like he was searching for something to say or look at clearly. 80...
"I just thought that, you know, you needed attention. Some support. Nami..." I paused, a shot of Namine smiling up at me passing through my head, and continued, "Namine even said that you were looking sad all the time...It really gets to other people too, Rox."
That's when he scoffed and I flinched, feeling his broken breath push on my skin. I kept opening and closing my hands with the thought of touching him instantly blocking out complications: family, drunk best friends, girlfriends.
"You think?" Roxas nearly choked on that and after repeating himself, I had to keep against the railing to make sure I wouldn't fall over. "You think?" It only lasted a second, maybe even half or a third of one, but Roxas' sudden step and outreached arms felt like they took forever to fall against me. At first I just stood there, staring over his head to the sliding door ahead...who cares if they saw? Roxas was touching me, hugging. It'd been only a couple of days since it happened, but something told me that this wasn't something to pass up.
Narrowing my eyes, I sighed and buried half my face in his hair. "Sorry, Rox."
He let out a strangled sigh into my chest. It just occurred to me how cold his body felt. Knowing that, I loosely locked both arms around his neck while both his were around my waist. "You seriously thought I needed support?"
I nodded and he dug his fingers onto the folds in my shirt.
"I'm just...screwed up. I thought I was doing fine...guess I'm not. I'm really not." With his body sinking deeper into me, I couldn't help but wince when a something small started to bruise my skin. Wait...I knew that feeling. Stiff and cold...just like Roxas. It's what I came all the way here for. Carefully, I slipped a hand in between us, making Roxas move backward in surprise, before feeling something round behind Roxas' clothes. I quickly looked up, shooting him a promising sort of stare.
"You...?"
He seemed to figure it out and nodded regretfully. "Axel..." His own hand inched behind him and into his pocket, not once looking away from me. Oh, shit...he had it?
"R-Rox...! You're not kidding—"
"I SWEAR! I'M GONNA JUMP! KEEP THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!"
Roxas shivered so much after that somewhat nearby scream that I had to cling onto him, frantically staring around the deck in a circle.
"What's going--?"
"I'LL JUMP! I'LL DO IT!"
"Don't do it!"
"I WILL!"
Amongst the screaming, I magically made out the sound of the sliding door squeaking open in front of me followed by a rush of footsteps stamping onto the deck. All that time, I wouldn't let Roxas go, but it wasn't like they could see us. The footsteps stopped midway to where we were and were replaced with intense panting from who I imagined were Reno and, strangely, Larxene.
"A-Axel!" Larxene squealed.
"What?"
"It's that friend of yours...all over the...news..."
I turned my head to Reno's shadow. "Who?"
"He's gonna jump, he's gonna die! He's gonna die!" Larxene's voice was almost garbled out by sobbing and tears.
"Who's gonna die?!" I admitted to being scared like hell was breaking loose. Roxas went on shaking.
"I SAID STAY AWAY FROM ME OR I'LL JUMP!"
"No...!"
"...Axel..." Larxene muttered over her sudden crying.
"Who?! Just tell me who in the hell--?!"
"...Marluxia."
Just when I thought it was over...hell no it wasn't. I still had a lot of apologizing to do.
gah...emo!Axel...do not want. bad. emo axel equals bad. emoxas...tis alright. it WORKS. axel? nah...too shakespearean.
speaking of axel...i had a dream a while back that he was my english teacher. he wouldn't look at me though and EVERYONE in the building was in love with him...except for me. i was like: wut? is this human? then i woke up and went to school. DX high school year...-sigh- must live.
for now, akuroku is my backbone. i use it to help me through school...-ogles new smut doujin- kukuku...erm, it's...history notes? -shuffles away-
loved it? hated it? hey, why not comment it? i'm a sucker for fanfiction, it's dangerous.
drabble, drabble, drabble,
kokoro77