A/N
So thanks for the awesome suggestions. I really enjoy writing different POV so you will definitely be getting lots of those, but I do plan on staying out of Bella's head as much as possible because that was the perspective we saw in the books (which I feel left a lot unsaid). Yes katiek121, I will most certainly do Rosalie for you, we're just not up to that point yet. Keep the ideas coming! They motivate me!
I wanted to write something a little different with Bella and Carlisle so I figured the last scene in chapter 9 did the job. I thought it would be an interesting twist since in the books Bella saw Carlisle as basically human, if she were now to see him only as a vampire, something that she was so accepting of, and be terrified. I hope you liked it from Jasper's perspective, but now without further ado here is Carlisle's side.
Carlisle
Going through my day after leaving Bella in Jasper's care was hard. I wanted to stay with her. I never wanted to let her go. But I knew where my place was and the role I needed to play and thus leaving was a necessary part of the equation.
I saw to minor injuries throughout the day, nothing I deemed note-worry. But I was also drawn back to Bella's room every hour or so just to check, just to make sure she was ok. Jasper sat stoically by monitoring her non-change. But it was comforting to know he was with her.
I thought for a moment about the pride I had for my son. A year ago he would have a hard time being in the same room with the girl. Now he was holding her hand and watching over her without even a supervisor. I could see the way he looked at her. He loved her like Alice and Rosalie. She was truly a sister to him, but I also saw the fear he had when she was near. Fear that he might hurt her, fear that she wouldn't accept him. But what he hadn't realized was that she had accepted him the moment she walked through our front door.
She was an incredible girl really, and I was proud to think of her as a daughter in the past. Now I just hoped to have that option again. I so desperately wanted that option again.
At the end of my shift I hurried back to Bella's room. Jasper hadn't moved and simply nodded at me when I sat down. We talked little as we waited out the night, each left to our own thoughts.
I wondered at what Bella would think of our sudden reappearance in her life. When Edward had demanded that we leave immediately it had broken my heart, but I trusted my son. In hindsight I wished I had asked my daughter, trusted her desires as a factor to the equation. And I vowed it was not a mistake I would make again. We had seriously hurt her. If what Jasper had said was true than we had caused her to lose the will to do anything. I hadn't realized what our leaving would do to her but I shouldn't have let Edward sway my hand. Bella was not a normal human and surely I should have known that she wouldn't just "move on" with her life.
We are permanent beings, but when change comes, only in the form of love, that love, that change, was forever. I hadn't taken into account what the change of Edward's love, and all of our love, would do to her. I shouldn't have thought that she would be left unaffected. Surely our love had affected her, and now looking at her, how much weight she'd lost, how hallow Jasper said she was, I could see how our leaving had destroyed her. I so desperately wanted to fix this. I wanted her trust, I wanted her love, nothing had mattered so much to me in so long. Come to think of it, the last time I had cared this much about earning someone's trust was when Jasper and Alice had joined our family.
Alice had accepted us immediately, in her mind she already knew us, but Jasper, Jasper was a work in progress. It took a very long time for him to allow us to get close to him, let alone touch him. He was skittish and always on guard. It actually wasn't until Bella came into our lives that Jasper had let his guard down enough that he wasn't on alert at every second. Of course that was after he got to know her, after originally advocating for her immediate murder. He was trained in tactics and defense. She was something to defend against. But the something about her changed him, her goodness maybe. Such a simple yet rare concept. And something totally foreign to him. Then she became something to defend. Something, someone, that he loved. She was family.
I looked at my son now, across the bed from me holding Bella's other hand. He was totally focused on her. I reached out and stroked Bella's face, over and over again, just to assure myself that she was here, and that she was okay.
"Only a few more hours" I murmured. He nodded.
Early in the morning Bella began to stir.
"She's waking up" I smiled, but it slid from my face as I watched Jasper's face twist in agony.
He usually tried to hide his emotions, and those of others, so I was surprised to see him exhibit so much emotion, albeit unintentionally.
"What is it Jasper" I asked me, panic rising.
"She's terrified" he gasped out.
"Can you reach her? Calm her?" I asked, desperate to do something, anything.
I could tell he was trying. But it looked to be to no avail.
"I'm trying. It's not working" he told me. This worried me. Jasper's talent had always affected her before, so it meant that she must be feeling something extremely strong if Jasper couldn't reach her.
"What is wrong? What is she feeling?" I asked. I was becoming really worried now, and I knew he could feel my stress.
"She's in the middle of something. A dream maybe, because she is not quite awake. But she is scared out of her wits. It's so strong if I was standing it would knock me to my knees" he told me, more candidly than he was normally, which I was sure was for her sake.
I looked at Jasper and I knew he could feel my desperation to do something, anything. "Let me feel it" I requested.
He looked at me shocked. I had never asked this of him before.
"Are you sure?" he asked. I knew he'd never intentionally hurt me but I needed to know. I just knew had to experience this. I needed to know what it was like in her head right now.
"Yes, please Jasper, I need to know" I pleaded. Something I knew he had never seen from me before either, but I didn't care.
He must have transferred some of Bella's agony to me because that was something I had never experienced more. I know he had watched my face twist in the anguish I felt and then tearless sobs racked my body when he took it away, the contacts I wore dissolving as venom filled my eyes. But it didn't matter. I was only among family.
"This is how she feels?" I choked out. He had never seen me break down, ever. Of this I was sure, Edward and Esme were the only ones who had ever seen something remotely close to this. But I had never experienced such bone crushing agony as Jasper had shown me.
He placed his free hand on my shoulder, which only a few years ago would have been a monumental gesture. "Yes, and transferring it lessens it marginally, which is why I am sharing in her pain" he told me.
Bella started to stir before I could say anything else and we both turned our complete attention back to her. Her eyelids started to flutter.
"Bella? Can you hear us darling?" he asked. I watched as she squeezed her eyelids shut.
She murmured "It's just a dream. There's no one here".
This worried me. She needed to orient this with reality; we needed to reach her. "We're here Bella. Come back to us" I whispered this time.
Her heart rate quickened as I could tell her fear increased. "It's okay Bella" Jasper tried to tell her "open your eyes".
"So real" she whispered.
"We are real sweetheart" I said. "Please open your eyes". I felt sorrow clench my heart that she didn't want to believe we were here and worry at her insistence not to open her eyes. What had we done?
I watched as she opened her eyes and looked at me who was directly in her line of sight and then heard her heart rate pick up two-fold.
She tried to pull her knees into her chest, ripped her hands away from us, and let out a yelp of pain. "Get away from me!" she yelled, trying to curl up in a ball. Her heart was beating rapidly and I could tell she was absolutely terrified.
"Bella?" I asked stunned. I was completely taken-back, saddened, and horrified that I had scared her. I had scared my daughter? She was fearful of me? I guess that was what we deserved after leaving her like we did but I couldn't believe the terror I heard in her voice.
Even when she had first come to our house, shy and sweet, timid maybe, but never was she scared. Even in the face of James in that retched ballet studio had I heard or seen her this scared. And now she was terrified…of me? I was incredulous and ashamed.
"I don't want to die" she whispered. She was trying to get as far away from me as possible.
"Bella…" I started again, reaching for her, completely forgetting what she was afraid of in my desire to comfort her. I usually hesitated to touch patients in fear that my cold skin would become noticeable to them and make them think too much, but Bella was very accustomed to our touch, and never once had I hurt her. So why was she so terrified of me? What had I done?
"Stay back!" she yelled. I glanced at Jasper, we needed to quiet her before people came running to "help" her. I didn't want to see her sedated.
"What's wrong darlin'?" Jasper asked, still seated close to her. She glanced at him and it was like she was first acknowledging his presence. She threw herself into his arms and if it hadn't of been for his reflexes I don't think he would have caught her.
She was crying into his chest. "Ja..as..per?" she gulped out.
"Yes?" he chuckled slightly at her questioning demeanor, but there was a tightness to his voice that I didn't know if she could hear.
"Protect me? Please" she got out in between sobs.
"What's gonna hurt you darlin'?" he asked, clearly confused, rubbing her back. After all it was only the three of us in the room.
"Vampire" she whispered, and had it not been for my hearing I never would have heard her. But I was surprised, astounded. I mean she knew what we were. But she also knew we'd never hurt her, or at least she used to. My heart clenched.
And then it dawned on me. She was fearing for her life because of my presence. My eyes were red. She immediately associated red with death. Yellow was safe but red meant she was food. My heart went out to my human daughter who was clinging to her brother like her life depended on it because of my eyes. I was ashamed. She had never seen any of my family, our family I corrected myself, with red eyes. She knew that slips had occurred but had never seen it first-hand. And now, with the orbs of my eyes glistening red she knew that I had drank human blood. She assumed I had killed, and now she was food. I understood why she was terrified, but it saddened me to no end that it was my fault, and it was me that she stood shaking in fear against.
"Who Bella?" he asked, trying to lean back. She clutched at his shirt. But he hadn't just had the epiphany that I had.
"Vampire" she choked out again.
He looked at me confused, then understanding brightened his eyes.
"Bella?" I spoke quietly.
"Carlisle?" she asked, confused, listening to my voice rather than seeing my face. "Is it really you?"
Bella asked, peering around Jasper's shoulder. She gasped when she obviously met my eyes, her heart rate quickening again.
"It's me sweetheart" I said, as Jasper adjusted Bella so she was in still in his arms but facing me. He was trying to show her everything was okay but that there was nothing to fear.
I took a small measured step forward. I didn't want to scare her again but I needed to be closer to her. I needed to make her understand.
"But your eyes?" she questioned. Then I saw her shame that Jasper certainly felt when she realized she had been cowering away from me.
"Yes. It's okay. You know I'd never hurt you right?" I asked slowly sitting on the edge of the bed. I was hesitant but I needed to know the answer to this question if I was to repair any sort of relationship with her. I hoped I could gain her trust again.
She threw herself into my arms then, sobbing. She choked out apologies then, and how I wanted to explain everything to her then and now but knew it would have to wait until we were home, safe from prying eyes and ears.
"Bella?" I asked, more to make sure she was okay than anything else, although I did want an answer to my burning question.
"Yes, I know you'd never hurt me. But are you really even here?" she pulled back; I left my arms around her. Her question broke my heart yet again in a short time frame. I could see the hope and fear in her eyes. We had done this. And I was going to fix it, if it was the last thing I did.
"Yes sweetheart we are" I told her. She traced my features, soft, nimble fingers touching my face, ensuring I was real, before throwing herself into my arms again, still sobbing uncontrollably.
I just rocked her in my arms as she drifted off to sleep. She would reawaken hours later and then we would get a start on mending the relationships of our family that my oldest and youngest son had destroyed in one fateful afternoon. But for now she needed rest, she needed to regain her strength and I was content to hold her as her mind drifted into oblivion.