Breathe by Taylor Swift
A/N: Hey guys! :) Sorry for the slow updates, but school and family is busy for me! This has been bouncing around in my head ever since I read ToF, and I was listening to this song while doing so. It just...was in my head. I just now got a chance to write it.
Disclaimer: I do not own TKC or the song, which belong to Ricky Riordan and Taylor Swift, respectively.
Z
I
A
I looked over my shoulder, just able to catch one last glimpse of Carter before the swirling sand blocked my eyes from meeting his. My feet suddenly hit solid ground, no longer just sand. I remembered back when I used to call this place, the First Nome, home. Now...something always seemed to be missing. Like, a part of me was missing. A big part. But I couldn't quite put my finger on what exactly...
"Good night, Zia," Chief Lector Amos said, giving me a smile before he slipped into his chambers.
"Good night," I replied, opening the door to my own chambers, just off the Hall Of The Ages. I set my bag down on the chair by the door, just like I always did.
A few hours later, I was still awake, attempting to fall asleep. And failing, I might add. I sighed, moving to sit on the window sill. It was an oddly cool night, a soft breeze blowing through the open window. I looked out over the small courtyard, deep in thought about a certain Kane.
Carter Kane, to be exact.
When I was with him...something happened. I didn't feel broken, or alone like I normally do. It made me smile, and breathing a little easier. With him...I didn't have to worry. Well, as much. There was also something about him that made me want to give everything up, throw away all the lies and false smiles that held me together. I felt like I was flying and I never, ever wanted to come down.
But I had to. That was the problem. That had to end. I kept telling myself this, that nothing would last forever. There was something—something— him though, that made me think otherwise. That I could find something that would last forever.
And that that something was closer than I might think.
The Kane boy confused me greatly. He was so kind and selfless...it was oddly refreshing to see someone like that in the modern world, where everyone seemed to be selfish and mean to each other. I wondered why he was like that. He was a Kane...Kanes were rebels...weren't rebels supposed to be the bad guys? The ones who always ended up losing and learning that their selfish and awful ways were wrong?
But...he wasn't selfish. He was quite the opposite. That was what confused me. Did that mean he wasn't a rebel? Or that maybe the Kanes weren't rebels at all...
I shook my head violently. No, the thought was preposterous. The Kanes were rebels...weren't they?
I grumbled, leaning my head back against the window. "He's making me change my thinking," I muttered.
But is that a bad thing?
I wanted to slap Nephthys, but I realized she was right. Maybe is wasn't as bad as I'd thought it to be.
Maybe he was trustworthy. Maybe I could trust Carter. He seemed nice enough...but then again, you never know.
I'd lived by rules; never trust anyone else, never show your feelings, always remain strong...but he made me want to break them.
A feeling bubbled in my stomach. It was warm and...happy. A peaceful calm of the chaotic world around me.
And I realized it was the exact same feeling that came with being with Carter. The same peace and sheer happiness, that wasn't all butterflies and rainbows either.
I thought back to how it had felt leaving him. Like I was leaving a piece of myself behind...
I thought back to how damn hard it was to leave him. Why?
I thought back to the way he'd make me feel. I feel so vulnerable...yet so safe...is that even possible? I blame Kane for making me contradict myself...
I thought back to...everything.
And I realized that, maybe, just maybe, everything was a little harder without Carter. He was like a shining light at the end of the tunnel I never seemed to reach, but needed desperately.
Like the air you never seem to be able to inhale? Nephthys suggested. And the only air around you is toxic?
Pretty much... I thought to her. You're quite skilled at metaphors.
I felt the goddess smile. Only because I've been in your shoes.
Soon, sleep overcame me, thankfully a dreamless one.
When morning came, I was reminded of the goddess's words of last night.
"The air you never seem to be able to inhale."
"This isn't easy for me either, Carter Kane," I whispered, even though I knew he wasn't there. "I hope you know that."
I can't breathe without you...but I have to...
A/N: How was Zia's character? I think I got her okay, but I still feel like there's something OOC about her...meh. Call me a perfectionist. :P Ah well. Review please! Constructive criticism is always appreciated!