A soft wind blows, moving the small boy's hair and ruffles his working clothes..His hands are red from working so hard with scrubbing the floors, indents in his fingers where the broom handle would be. The wind feels good..He smiles up at the sun that's shining down on him..his eyes sparkle as he gazes on the fluffy clouds that look like his favorite foods..making his mouth water and his stomach to rumble. Austria doesn't have pasta..or any tomatoes. It's been awhile..his mouth has gone tasteless.
The small boy closes his eyes as the wind caresses his sweating face, the smell of grass gets him to sigh..It's much nicer out here then in there..He looks down at his feet..he took off his shoes, letting his aching feet get some air..those brown eyes stare blankly at the sores on his feet..the blisters..Today is one of those bad days. The work has been hard..and there's so much..Mr. Austria isn't in his good moods..he's not playing the piano..when he plays..it's a good day. He's nice, and the small boy enjoys him..but on days like today..He's harsh. Working him till his tiny fingers get bruised..If he cries, he gets yelled at. On days like today..he doesn't get much food..these are the days he's the hungriest..Austria only gives him a small amount of his kind of food..and if the boy tries to get more..He's locked up in that dark, scary room.
Don't get him wrong..it's not so bad. On the good days he gets a good amount of food..He's able to paint and draw..he gets breaks..Austria is nice to him and lets him listen to his beautiful music..It's not so bad..
But on days like today..it's hard. It hurts..so that's why he's here right now..in this gorgeous field of flowers outside of Austria's home..The boy knows he's not suppose to be out here..he's not suppose to be taking a break..and this field is Mr. Austria's..He's not allowed here..but it's so beautiful..he has to sneak in every once and awhile..and it helps with his feet and hands that are hurting.. the wind cools his sweating body and the flowers are so beautiful!..he loves it here. The roses, the daises..the different colors, a rainbow of flowers..
The small boy opens his eyes, smiling, he leans down and smells a red rose beside him..So pretty..the boy can't help to think that if Mr. Austria came out here, felt the wind on his skin, and smelled the roses..he wouldn't be so upset or mad..He stays inside all the time..doesn't he know there's all this life out here? All this beauty? Austria says true beauty is music..but aren't flowers true beauty? The sky? The sea? They're all beautiful to the boy. He wishes to paint them all, capturing them for all eternity with his brush and paper..that's how he thinks of it..he's capturing the moment..keeping it safe. Time changes everything..he should know. He remembers just yesterday he was free, painting as he pleased and eating pasta with his big brother Romano..
Now he's here. Working hard everyday. No pasta and his brother has been separated from him...it's not so bad though..not with this flower field..He adores it.
The small boy sighs happily as he lays down in the flowers..he starts to roll around in them, smelling the sweet scent, feeling the soft petals brush against his skin..they feel like kisses..the flowers are kissing him, greeting him. They know him well. He gets lost in it all..and soon enough..he feels as if he's free again..he only feels free here..when he's here..his wore out dress is gone, replaced by his white robe his grand papa gave him..that was taken from him along time ago..he still misses it..
The boy stops rolling around, getting up, he starts running around the field..giggling, doing twirls in his dress..the wind is caressing him, the sun is warming him up. He starts to sing..the birds chip, singing with him..and the flowers dance with him, swaying back and forth. The boy closes his eyes, letting all the sounds, the smells, the feels consume him...if only he had pasta..then it would be perfect. The grass feels nice on his sore feet..He never wants to put his shoes back on. The boy does another twirl..opening his eyes, smiling..
Only for him to tense, gasping as he jolts his body to a halt, almost falling over in the process. He stares with large, terrified eyes..at those blue, piercing orbs that have been watching him..glaring at him from behind a tree..The brown haired boy trembles, gripping his dress nervously. "I-I'm sorry! P-please don't tell Mr. Austria i'm out here! I w-was just looking at the flowers a little, i'll get back to sweeping right away!" the small boy looks at this other boy..not able to hide how scared he is..afraid he made him mad. When the blonde doesn't say anything, the brown haired boy runs over to his shoes, his mind scattered..maybe if he gets to work right away, he won't get in trouble-
The small boy trips, letting out a startled cry, he falls on his face..hitting his head hard on the ground..causing him to whimper.
"Italy!" the boy on the ground tenses at his name..thinking this made the blonde angry..and in seconds the other boy is on him..those blue eyes wide as he kneels beside him. "Are you alright?" He grabs Italy's chin, tilting his head to get a look at where he hit it..
"Si, i'm fine Holy Rome..i'm really sorry about taking a break and being here I-"
"Italy..it's fine. I won't say anything to Austria..he shouldn't be working you this way. I was just about to talk to him when I.." Holy Rome trails off..those blue eyes get glossy..He tenses when he realizes he's still touching Italy's face, he recoils quickly..turning his face..his fingers moving slightly, restlessly. "..Are you sure you're okay?"
"si." Italy's fear leaves him..when he realizes this boy isn't mad at him..he smiles. "Did you come here for the flowers too?"
"Huh?" Holy Rome looks back at him..seeming confused.
"The flowers!" Italy giggles opening his arms, gesturing at all the colorful plants around them. "They're pretty aren't they?"
"..I suppose.." Holy Rome stares at Italy's smile and how he looks at the flowers..he slowly looks at the flowers himself..his face a glare, those blue orbs stern. "..You like it here?"
"Si! I always come here when I have time. I like to paint the flowers or just roll around In them..this is my favorite place..being here, I feel nice." Italy touches a rose next to him..petting the soft petals.
Holy Rome watches him from the corner of his eye..still sitting next to him..He looks forward.. "..It's yours."
'Huh?" Italy looks over at him, and tilts his head.
"This field. If you like it..it's yours." Holy Rome doesn't look at Italy..he doesn't see how big the other boy's eyes get.
"But..but this field belongs to Mr. Austria-"
"Now it belongs to you. You may come any time you please. If he has a problem with it, he can take it up with me." Holy Rome says sternly..turning his head away from Italy. "..He doesn't come in here anyway..and i've notice you come here a lot-" He stops, tensing as if he's said something wrong..
Italy doesn't catch it though. His mouth is open in shock, his brown eyes sparkling as he looks at this blonde haired boy..the sun shines down on him..making him look like a holy being..a saint..a angel..
"Y-you're really g-giving me this field?" Italy puts his hands together, his chest tightening..He's holding his breath.
"yes I-"
"Oh thank you! T-thank you so much!" Italy lashes out..wrapping his arms around the other boy..he hears him gasp..his body getting stiff but Italy doesn't care. He holds him closer, burying his head in his chest. "You're too kind! Holy Rome this is the best gift ever! I thought you were mad at me, I would have never guessed this! Now I don't have to sneak in anymore or get punished by Austria!..thank you!" Italy keeps talking, smiling, enjoying the warmth of this boy that usually scares him..but right now..he's not afraid..he's happy being here, with him, in this flower field..his flower field..no their flower field.
"I-I-I must go!" Holy Rome suddenly pulls Italy off of him..not rough to hurt him but fast enough he can get up..Italy sees his face is pure red..He's trying to leave, but Italy grabs his arm, frowning.
"So soon? Why must you go?" Italy stands up, getting closer.
Holy Rome's eyes meet Italy's..those stern eyes have soften..deep emotions in them that Italy doesn't understand..he doesn't say a word..his cheeks that red..before he gets out of Italy's grasp..He turns and he runs away..not looking back. Italy watches him go, holding out his hand as if to reach out for him, frowning as the sun leaves holy Rome..making him look like a shadow retreating..The wind stops blowing so nicely..and somehow..this beautiful place..feels lonely now..Italy hugs himself, still staring where the blonde boy was..wondering to himself..what he's been wondering since he got here..
Why do you run from me? When all I want is for you to stay here by my side? You scare me..you terrify me..but then there's times like this..when you're so nice and kind..yet every time I touch you..or see you..most the time you don't even speak..you just run away..please..
Don't keep running from me holy Rome. I want you to stay.
I want you to stay with me.
Italy's eyes slowly open..everything is out of focus..blurry. His head is throbbing, causing him to let out a pitiful groan...Something..no someone is hovering over him. The face is all blurry but..he sees the blonde hair..his eyes widen and he reaches out, despite the pain..touching this blurry face. "H-Holy Rome?" he rubs the soft skin..a hope raising in him.
"What? No it's me Italy..it's Britain."...Britain? Suddenly his vision focuses..the blurry face reveals those green eyes, those bushy eye brows..They're not blue..they're not those blue eyes..but the green pools stare down him..with a emotion he hasn't seen in this country yet..is it..concern?..why is he concern?..why is he over him like he is?..why is he in bed?..and this pain..
"O-ow..my head.." Italy winces when his head throbs again..a whimper escaping his throat.
"I know it must hurt. We just gave you pain medication, it hasn't kicked in yet..i'm surprised you've come to so quickly.." England seems to be mumbling to himself..a frown on his lips.
"..What happened? We were playing a game weren't we?" Italy thinks back even though it hurts..They were playing dress up..He remembers a flash of brown..and then pain..then darkness..
"Yes..something fell from the sky and hit you over the head. I've gotten medics to look you over, and thankfully it didn't hit your head in a spot that would cause amnesia, and it's not serious enough for a concussion." England's eyes flash with something..relief? Before it's gone.
"...ve..what hit me?" Italy reaches up and lightly touches where he knows he was hit..he feels the padding of the bandage..before putting his hand back down.
"..We don't know. I've looked all around for what caused this..but I didn't fine anything. Nothing but pieces of my ceiling that are no where near where you were..it's very bizarre..it's as if whatever hit you just..disappeared.." Those green eyes get glossed over..as he reaches over and touches the bandage..Italy wincing in flex, not because it hurts. "..I'm sorry Italy..I believe this is my fault. Me and you shouldn't be playing that game..I have real magic, while you do not..I believe I may have accidentally taped into my power and actually cast a spell on you..I didn't mean to."
"Whoa..you..you really have magical powers?" Italy's eyes get wide, and he sits up in excitement only to cry out in pain and fall back down.
"Idiot! Don't sit up like that!" Britain scolds as the Italian groans.
"B-But..you do have super powers! That's s-so cool!" Italy beams, despite the pain he's in..
"..You're not mad..that I caused this?" Britain blinks, looking at him in disbelief when he smiles.
"Of course not! I mean, you didn't mean to, and that's awesome!..hey..tell me your secret..how do you have super powers?" Italy leans closer..glancing around before whispering.
"..It's not super powers Italy, it's called magic." England straightens himself out, beaming proudly. "it's not something you can 'have'. It is a skill, a blessing given. My magic is my secret weapon, my most powerful tool. Back in the day I was known as the great wizard..yes my magic is something fierce. Magic, in a way, is a art. Heh, I remember the first spell I cast..it was a stormy night-"
"Since you have super powers..does that mean you can heal me?" Italy asks hopefully, pointing at his head..England frowns.
"..It's magic Italy, and it's dark magic..it's not meant for healing and goodness. It's meant for curses or causing harm..so no. I can not heal you, but don't worry, the medicine will kick in soon. As I was saying, it was a stormy night-"
"I don't believe you." Italy cuts him off..crossing his arms..he stares into those green orbs. "Magic or super powers..it's still something great..tell me..I bet.." his head is fuzzy..his mouth moving before he's thinking. "That door...the one with the lock..it has your power source doesn't it?..That's how you have super powers..."
"..Nothing is behind that door that concerns you..are you feeling okay? Is your head still fuzzy?" Britain frowns..his eyes flashed with anger at the mention of the door..only to disappear when he looked at the bandage on Italy's head. "..Your brains must be scrambled..you were talking about super powers before you passed out.." He mumbles to himself, studying Italy.
"My head is fuzzy..it doesn't hurt anymore..it's numb I think.." Italy glances over at where he was standing when he got hit..he frowns when he sees the blood stain in the carpet. "..I'm sorry England..I got blood on your floor.."
"..Don't apologize for something like that idiot." Britain snaps..yet it's not that hard..he frowns again. "..Do you want water Italy? Something to drink?..your eyes keep going out of focus.."
"..The flower field..died when he left..time got to it..and it was gone..just like him.."Italy trembles, gripping the bed sheets..the pain is numbed but..the medicine isn't numbing the pain he has inside. The tears well up..but he blinks them away..
"Calm down Italy. It's okay..i'm going to get you water." Britain gets up..
Italy lashes out, grabbing his arm, his brown eyes wide and glossy. "N-No don't leave me..just stay..don't walk away from me..I don't think I could take it."
England stares at Italy a moment..those green eyes show how confused he is..Italy braces himself, for Britain's anger..or a hit..but instead of that..Britain sits back down. Those green orbs can't be read as he rubs Italy's hair.. "Okay. Just calm down Italy..you're okay..your head is just messed up right now..it will pass, I promise."
"Thank you..thank you Britain.." Italy smiles..before laying back down..he keeps his hand gripping Britain's to make sure he can't go. "You're kind..thank you..I miss him..it's lonely being alone isn't it? Roses are beautiful aren't they?..It's so sad..seeing them wilt..the pedals fall one by one..and no matter what you do..it will keep dying..turning into dust..That couldn't happen..to him..no.." Italy chuckles. "..Ah..i'm sorry..i'm not making sense..it hurts..not my head..my heart..it hurts..does that make sense?..I don't know..i'm sorry..i'm sorry.." Italy shakes his head.. "I'll..i'll stop talking now..thank you..thank you..for staying.."
Italy is surprised..when he feels Britain tighten his hold on Italy's hand..not to hurt him..but in a way, his warmth gives him comfort..reminds him he's not alone right now..He feels Britain's other hand going through his hair..Italy is looking up at the ceiling..not looking at Britain, but he feels those green orbs on him..
There's silence for awhile..Italy just laying there, staring up at the ceiling..his eyes glossed over in thought, as Britain sits next to him, holding his hand, running a hand through his hair..it's nice..he feels his eyes closing again..
"Italy.." Italy's eyes open all the way from his name being spoken..he glances over at Britain, who is staring at him intently..those green orbs searching his. "..Who is holy Rome?"
Italy shows nothing in those brown orbs..as he smiles. "oh." He smiles up at the ceiling. "..He's the one that hasn't come back yet.. but I know he will..He promised.."
Britain stares at him with a unreadable expression..there's a frown on his face..and if Italy was looking..there's something like pity in the blonde's eyes..a sadness there..because he knows..how it's like to be left..but..he couldn't imagine if..America never came back..
"That reminds me!" Italy's eyes light up, and he looks over at England with wide eyes. "Your date with America is tomorrow! It's still Sunday right? We need to prepare! Oh my gosh i'm so sorry Britain! I'll get you ready!" Italy sits up.
"don't strain yourself now idiot! You'll knock yourself back out!" Britain growls at him, trying to push him back down..but Italy shakes his head.
"I'm fine! Okay..so lets go over the plan for tomorrow." Italy takes a deep breath, sitting up completely, giving Britain a determined look. "..I haven't been to America much so i'm not familiar with ocean city but if it's like a fair or something with games and stuff, you should try to win America something! And make sure to bring money..ohh and if there's a scary walk through, go with America, he may cling to you." Italy thinks more. "..hmm..if I remember right..we discovered america is jealous of me..he got closer to you..hmm now how to get him closer to you?.." Italy taps his chin..England can tell he's struggling, his eyes are half lidded..
"..Italy..maybe you should rest more-"
"I want you to get him back.." Italy hugs himself. "I want you to get him back..you love him..love should always prevail..it should never die..I'm okay. I want to help you Britain..and i'm going to..so..I noticed that you said you have a problem with blushing?..well you could just blame it on getting burnt from the sun...and you could get your photos taken..hey..I know! Let me pick out some clothes for you!" Italy gets out of bed..stumbling a little..England gets up quickly, watching as Italy walks oddly over towards his dresser..He opens it up, and starts going through all the suits..all his clothes. "..hmm..maybe we need to go shopping..you want to do that now? I can make you look so good Britain..I can..you'll never be alone again..you.." Italy's voice trials off..and he falls to his knees..his vision going blurry.
"Italy!" he hears Britain's voice..but it's all fuzzy now..
Italy is out before he hits the ground..his head hurts again..his chest hurt..is he going to fail?..he didn't' want to..Britain's expecting him to help him..and look at him..useless..again..
The last thought he has is of those blue eyes..but they're different from holy Rome's..They belong to another male he misses desperately..
Italy wants to be better..he doesn't want to be alone..everything's confusing..
But soon everything is consumed into darkness..even the pain.
Britain stares at Italy's unconscious form in his bed once again..sitting next to him, watching as the man breathes slowly..almost painfully..You may be surprised at how kind he was to Italy when he got up the first time..maybe you think he did it because he felt guilty..but that's not it at all..He was taken by surprise. England wasn't expecting Italy to get up for hours..but this man got back up in 30 minutes..if not for Italy reaching out and touching his cheek..he wouldn't even have known he woke up..He was going to smack his hand off..but then..
"Holy Rome?"..the way he said that name..and the way he rubbed his cheek..Britain saw..such hope in those unfocused eyes..such longing..It confused him at the time..but now that he thinks back to that look Italy gave him..it was so deep..so happy..when Italy realized it was him..his eyes dulled..not that he's offended..but he knew who ever that person is, He's important to him..
After that, Italy was acting weird, saying England had super powers..and that his power source was behind that door..that pissed him off, he felt his rage raising..but..when he saw the bandage..he reminded himself that Italy isn't well..his head is messed up..Even though he knew his head was hurt..that he wasn't in the right mind..he couldn't help but feel uneasy with what he was saying..and the look in his eyes..so deep..those bright eyes darken in a way they never should...
He started talking about a flower field..his eyes shook..It was scaring him a bit. He wanted to go get him water..in hopes to call him down..but..
"N-No don't leave me..just stay..don't walk away from me..I don't think I could take it."..then he said that..in that moment..there was fear in Italy's eyes. It was deep..his face turned pale, his eyes wide..England wonders if he's aware of it..Those eyes were pleading with him..in that moment..he understood..he understood that fear..
The fear of being left..the fear of being alone. He couldn't leave him..any negative thoughts left him..It was like he didn't have control of his body anymore..He sat back down..and held Italy's hand..rubbed his hair..trying to give him comfort, trying to get rid of that fear..England's never seen him like this..He's seen him afraid..but..this is different..there's a desperation..a urgently..he forgot that he doesn't care for Italy..and in that moment..he realized..maybe he does care for Italy. Maybe he does like Italy..because in that moment..
He wanted nothing more then to take that fear away from him..to rock him to sleep like he had with America..to tell him..that it was okay...and he told him it was okay..but..
He kept talking..with that odd tone..saying thank you over and over again..saying odd things about roses dying..Then he kept saying sorry..That fear was still there..and even more so..a sadness was growing..Britain didn't like it, it didn't suit this man's face. He's seen this man cry..he's seen him sad..but this was different. It was deeper. IT wasn't a moment where Italy would cry only to cheer the next minute..England tighten his grip on his hand..wanting it to go away..it got him to stop talking..
Then..he just stared up at the ceiling..not blinking, those eyes of his blank..his face blank when it's usually full of expressions..his body became eerily still..and though he was laying before Britain..those eyes..looked so far away..like he wasn't there at all..That's when Britain asked about this 'holy Rome'..He saw how his eyes flashed..how that strained smile forced it's way on his lips..
"..He's the one that hasn't come back yet.. but I know he will..He promised.."..Holy Rome is the person that left him..and promised to come back..Britain felt..sad..upset when he heard that. He can't explain it. His stomach turned hallow..he couldn't speak even when he wanted to..because deep down..he knows..
This holy Rome isn't coming back.
Italy was the first one to speak again..He jumped up, going on about America..how he had forgotten he had to prepare Britain..in all honesty, England himself forgot that he was going to America tomorrow..with all this shit going on..It's been hard to keep his thoughts collected..Britain felt a slight panic..thinking how he wasn't prepared..yet..when Italy jumped up, and he saw that desperation..He just wanted Italy to go back to sleep..to rest. Italy didn't though..he kept going on..that desperation there..those eyes glossed over..like he wasn't really there..England couldn't move as he jumped up..and ran over to his dresser..throwing his clothes around..it was like..watching someone in a scary movie frantically trying to get away from their killer..He was breathing so hard..mumbling things to himself..till..he just fell down again..passed out..
The whole experience was shocking. England didn't have time to collect himself..it all happened so fast..He jumped..and some how..he caught Italy before he hit the ground..He saved him from hitting his head again..and now, here he is, sitting with Italy laying in his bed..staring at him..wondering..
This time..he didn't see America in Italy..this time..he was nice..he was nice to Italy. He was worried about italy..he cares about him. To admit that to himself..he feels a weight fall off of his shoulders..and for the first time..he feels like he can breathe easy..
"You finally see now don't you?" Britain looks away from Italy to see mint bunny floating by his head..smiling softly at him. "..You're not lying to yourself..you know what you felt.."she looks down at Italy and frowns. "..it took Italy getting knocked over the head for you to see it..but at least you see it..He's your friend..are you going to deny it now?"
"..." England sighs, glancing away from his magical friend. "..tell me mint bunny..do you know anything about someone named 'Holy Rome'?"
"You know i've never been much into history." she gives him a sheepish smile. "..But..this person does seem important to Italy huh?..He looked so sad.."
"..He looked like me..the fear..that deep angst..Italy usually doesn't show such things..it was just..odd seeing it on him.."
"you know what that fear was right?..he's afraid of being alone.."
"he's afraid of being left.." England grips his fist..his stomach turning hallow..
"..I know you want to get America..but..do you think it's a good idea to just leave him alone tomorrow?..when he's like this?.."
"..." Britain looks back at Italy..who is starting to stir..he closes his eyes..making up his mind..Mint bunny fades away, as Italy opens his brown orbs once more..they're focused this time..He groans only slightly before they widen and he shoots up.
'I fell asleep again! I'm sorry Britain! uh..where was I?..oh! Getting you clothes! France said I should help you with fashion sense anyway!"
"Italy I don't think that's necessary- France said what?!" England's eye twitches, he grinds his teeth. "That wanker was talking about me when I wasn't there?"
"Ohhh no he wasn't!" Italy chuckles nervously..waving it off..This gets England's anger to subside..Italy's acting normal now..His eyes are focus..he's not saying anything weird..he has a smile on his face..yet..England can't help to think now..that all those emotions he saw..Italy's been hiding them..with that smile on his lips..and he's been hiding them good.. "So we should go out to get you some new clothes and-"
"My clothes are fine. Come on..me and you need to go pack." England gets out of bed, watching as Italy gets out after him..a confused frown on his lips.
"I need to pack? Why?"
"Because you're coming with me to America. Since you've been unconscious most of the day you haven't been able to prepare me properly. I'm tired now, so I don't feel like doing training. You will come with me and coach me on the plane ride there. I'm warning you.." England's eyes narrow as he grabs Italy by the neck. "You behave or i'll make sure the next thing that hits you over the head is my fist."
"Ahh! I'll be good!" Italy trembles..but when England lets go of him, he beams, his eyes lighting up. "Wow! I get to go to America with you! This is exciting! I've never been to America's house before! That alien seems like fun too! Don't worry Britain, I won't let you down! This date is going to be a success!" Italy does a salute, smiling.
"..." Britain can't help to feel he's made a mistake..He sighs. "It's not a date you git!" he blushes and glances away at how Italy smiles more. "Start getting your suit packed and something to sleep in."
"Eww do I have to wear that at America's?"
"Yes...if it's too formal, then just wear your dress shirt."
"ve that's better! This is going to be so much fun! It's going to be like a vacation!" Italy cheers.
"if you could call it that.." England holds his head in his hands..He's feeling sick..and he knows why.. "..ask Phillip for two suit cases..you pack yours..I have to take a breather outside..after you're done packing, you may call Germany..My troops will be in the room with you, so make sure you don't say anything you will regret.."
"England.." Italy frowns.. "You're pale-"
"I'm fine." He doesn't feel fine..His stomach is turning. "..Pack." Is all he can say before he walks out of the room quickly..He starts to run when he's in the hallway..he runs till he's outside..the sun setting in the distance..darkness slowly falls..
It feels weird..unnatural for him..to care for someone other then himself. It feels odd.. how close he's starting to feel to this Italian..they have the same pain..Italy understands him..and Britain understands Italy..England has friends..but this is different..there's no reason to be friends with Italy..he doesn't have money..he's not strong..
He's friends with Italy..because he likes the country for the country. That's odd..so..he's friends with Italy now?..he seems to be calling him that now..maybe they are..they're friends..
He can say that in his head, but he would never say it out loud. He'll continue to be a douche to Italy..he'll just be a nicer douche. Yeah..
For once..in a long, long time..England..doesn't feel alone. He doesn't feel like he's in isolation anymore..because there's someone in his home, someone that cares for him, someone that understands his pain..because there is someone that he calls a friend.
It makes him sick..not because he doesn't like it..it's like this..let's say for years you've lived in a box..never getting out..and one day..in a Swift movement..that box is gone and now you're out in the world..exposed to new smells, new sights..new feelings..it's been so long..you've forgotten how to deal with it..you're afraid..and yet..you smile..
Britain's lips curl upward..as he slowly sits down..sitting down in the grass.. as he watches the sun set.
And it's never looked so beautiful.
"Hey Germany, Germany! Won't you get up? Come on let's go outside!"
Germany's eyes open..he had only closed them for a moment, and of course he would hear his voice. He sighs and runs a hand through his hair as he looks back down at the paper work in front of him..He has work to do today. He's not going to get behind because of these strange thoughts and feelings..He's going to set everything right, and go on normally. He shouldn't be this messed up..Germany grips his pen, getting to writing again, his eyes scanning the words..but his brain going else where..He keeps thinking of Italy's smile..those bright brown eyes..yet it brings him a mixture of warmth and coldness..because he can see Italy smiling at Britain..can see him having fun with Britain..He feels that bubbling feeling..gripping his fist..a anger filling him.
Isn't he suppose to be Italy's best friend? Is it not him who's always had his back? Who's always saved his ass? Where was Britain in world war 2? He was capturing Italy and attacking him!..why would he want to be with him?..What about Germany? Did he not even consider how he would feel about this whole thing? Ohh when he sees Italy he's going to make him run 10 laps! No breaks!..but what would that do? Italy would just run away and he would have to run after him..maybe that's why he's with Britain..to skip out in training. Is he really that harsh on him? That he would go Britain?..no..it was his words..his want of Italy to change. Still he's angry..and this hallow feeling in his chest is bothering him..
The door to his office suddenly slams open, Prussia comes in laughing, closing the door behind him..He chuckles to himself for a moment..Germany looks up at him with his eye brow raised.. "Brother? What's with you?"
"OH nothing." Prussia turns around, his grin wide as he comes closer. "Hey West what's today?"
"..It's Sunday." Germany stares at him a moment. "..Okay brother, why are you here? Being here two days in a row? That isn't like you. Something's up."
" You're one to talk. It's not like you to not be able to sleep. It's not like you to space out all the time. It's not like you to work yourself so hard you can't get up. It's not like you to draw pictures on your paper work." at that Germany looks down..his eyes widen when he sees he did draw something..a broom stick?..what? "It's not like you to look like you're in pain. I'm worried about you west."
"Don't be. I'm fine. This is just a phase, i'll get through it as I've gotten through everything else in my past. You don't have to stay around me like i'm a child again."Germany crumbles up the paper work and throws it away. "You may go now."
"I don't think I will." Prussia smirks as he brings up a chair, flopping down in it, putting his arms behind his head. "besides i'm having fun here...though.." Prussia frowns.. "..It would be funner with ita-chan around..on Sundays he would always make us a really big meal right? I know i'm usually here on this day..He's so cheerful..aww I miss his hugs! I wish he was back here..he should know i'm much more awesome then that old fart Britain!-"
"Could you please be quiet brother?" Germany's voice is stern as he stares down at his paper work..he can't deal with hearing about Italy. He's trying to be better. "I"m trying to work."
Prussia stares at him a moment..before he sighs and leans back in his chair..for awhile, it's silent between them..no sound but the sound of Germany's pen writing..Germany's using all his focus to do this..He's doing good..just keep writing..no thinking-
Prussia suddenly sneakers..Germany looks up at his brother, only for him to stop, his eyes are closed..Ludwig grumbles before he goes back to his work..He writes for a while..before he hears Prussia laugh again, this time it';s louder-
"What's the matter with you?!" Ludwig slams his fist down, his eye twitching as his brother starts cracking up.
"Oh, nothing, nothing..just..thinking about how amazingly awesome I am." He grins, crossing his arms.
"..Please just keep it down or get out." Germany sighs and goes back to work-
"I talked to France." Prussia cuts off his thoughts once again, looking thoughtfully at the wall. "Since you were freaking out on me about how I can't go over to Britain's..I asked France to check it out for us."
"You did?" Germany looks up..his paper work forgotten. "Well..what did he say?" He feels that nervousness..
"He said that Italy really is just teaching him how to cook. He said Italy was teaching Britain how to make spaghetti today. He also told me they were playing soccer together when he got there."
..They were playing..soccer?..why does his stomach turn at that..His throat has gone dry..Italy would always ask him to play soccer..and now he's playing it with Britain?..could this be all the proof he needs?..what if Italy is treating Britain like he use to treat Germany?..what if he enjoys being with him more?..ugh..what's wrong with him? Why should it even matter?..but it does. He can't fight this hallow emotion, he can't run from it..it's right in his face, taunting him. Jealousy. He's jealous of Britain..but not only that..He feels betrayed again..he feels..hurt. Thinking of Italy kissing Britain on the cheeks..smiling at him..clinging to him-
"France said something weird though..." Prussia cuts off his thoughts..staring at the wall..he hasn't looked at his brother.
"Weird?" Germany breathes out, trying to regain himself.
"Yeah..he said..'i'd never think my little brother could be a liar' ." Prussia rubs his chin. "..Do you think he was trying to tell us something?..that..Italy's lying?..but France said he was helping Britain with cooking..unless..he was lying too?"
"..." Germany stares at Prussia with wide eyes..a new set of emotions flowing through him..what if Italy is lying?..then..why is he there?..Is he just there to be there?..or..is something wrong? Germany looks down..gripping his fist..grinding his teeth. "..I wish I could go over there and see what the hell's going on myself! I'm tired of not knowing if Italy's okay..If he's lying to me..I swear, his training will be hell.."
Prussia looks over at his brother..and smiles slightly. "..you're worried about him. So am I..why do we have to listen west? Maybe we could-"
The phone ringing cuts him off. Germany's eyes widen and he answers the phone quickly. "Hello? Ita-"
"Hey potato bastard! where's my fucking brother? Put him on the damn phone right now! I have a few things to say to that little shit!" Germany pulls the phone away from his ear, Romano's voice booming so loudly.
"Geez, calm down Romano-"
"No! Put him on the fucking phone now! I bet this was all your idea wasn't it? Sending your pal Russia on me? I bet you two fuckers were laughing it up! Well guess what?! I'm the one who's going to have the last laugh! Do you know how much shit I had to go through with Russia? He's like a fucking psycho kid! At one point he was telling me he could fly and he jumped off one of our tallest buildings! If the fucker didn't hurt himself, I would still be dealing with his creepy ass!"
"..I have no idea what you're talking about. Could you stop yelling in the phone? You're giving me a head ache!-"
"Fuck you! Where is Italy?! Get him on the-"
"ITALY ISN'T HERE!" Ludwig roars..slamming his fist on his desk..Germany pants..the line has gone quiet..and so has the room..Prussia stares at his brother with wide eyes..but Germany doesn't pay attention..he closes his eyes. "..He's not here."
"..Not there?..y-you're fucking with me! Where else would he be? He's not here-"
"He's with Britain." Germany runs a hand through his hair..not wanting to go over this again..
"Britain?! Why the fuck is he w-with Britain?" Romano gasps..his attitude seems to have changed.
"Apparently they're friends now. He's there to help him cook.."
'..Your shitting with me. Feliciano would never befriend Britain. What the hell? Me and him are scared shitless of that guy! Stop fucking playing and put-"
"I'm not playing..he isn't' here."
"..." Romano is quiet for a moment.. "..so..Italy is in Britain..he's friends with him..and then he sends Russia on me?"
"..I-"
"What the fuck happened?! It's like i'm in the fucking twilight zone! Italy...I know my brother! Why would he go there?" Romano is quiet another moment. "Fuck it. I'm calling Spain." with that he hangs up. Germany hangs up the phone..and sighs..
"Who was that?" Prussia speaks up, tilting his head at his brother.
"Italy's brother. He was wondering where Italy is." Germany tries to go back to work-
"..West..tell me. Are you okay? You don't have to try to hide how Italy being gone is effecting you..i'm sad about it too. I'm not trying to hide that. You shouldn't hold in all your emotions..You look more constipated and i'm afraid you're going to explode..come on..it's okay to be sad-"
"IT's not that i'm sad brother! It's much more then that! All these fucking emotions! I don't want to let them out, it's not what I want!..I just..hope itlay comes back soon.." Germany stops writing..his eyes getting glossed over..
"..West do you-" Prussia starts, only for the office door to open. They both look over..Germany's face falls in disbelief..while Prussia holds in his laughter.
"Good morning you two. I'm glad to see you're up Germany and not moping around pathetic." Austria crosses his arms..He raises his eye brow when he sees the way Prussia is covering his mouth. "What's the matter with you?"
"Oh nothing...looking good Austria. I don't know what it is..but today, you look..all natural." Prussia holds in his laughter..as he stares at the dick he drew on Austria's face while he was asleep.
"Well I did get some new lotion that I just started using yesterday...what's wrong Germany? You're looking at me oddly."
"..I think you should look in the mirror Austria." Germany glares over at his brother who starts cracking up, not able to hold it in.
"What?" Austria seems confused.
"Just do it." Austria frowns when Prussia starts rolling around in his laughter..He leaves quickly..seeming distressed. "Brother I told you not to do that." Germany scolds.
"I couldn't help it! You can not lie to me and say that wasn't hilarious!"
"it wasn't hilarious."
"That's because you're no fun-" They hear a unmanly scream..causing Prussia to crack up..he runs over to the door and locks it..not soon after there's a loud banging at the door.
'I demand to know the meaning of this..this..vulgar picture on my face! Prussia! I know it was you!"
"Just because that was awesome of someone to do, doesn't mean it was my awesome idea."
"Oh please!" Austria pants..before he stops.. "..that reminds me.." HE sounds like he's smirking now. "I must go wash my face, i'm going to miss Hungary's today..ta da Prussia." His foot steps leave.
Prussia frowns. "Hey-" He goes to open the door..
The phone rings again...Germany sighs, looking over at it..it's probably Romano again..He lets it ring a few more times..before he answers it.
"Germany! Germany! Yay you answered! I didn't think you were for a minute there!" that voice he's been thinking about so much sounds through the phone..flowing into his ears..causing his heart to beat faster..
"Italy!" Germany perks up..this gets Prussia's eyes to widen and he walks back over to Germany.
"It's Italy?! Put it on speaker phone!" Prussia hits the button, grinning. "Hey Italy! Guess who it is?"
"Prussia!" Italy chimes. " what are you doing there..oh wait..today's Sunday isn't it?.." he sounds like he's frowning . "Sorry I couldn't make it..i'm sure I won't miss next Sunday though!"
"You better not!" Prussia crosses his arms. 'When you get back i'm expecting a hug."
"Course! I'll hug you both!" itlay giggles. "..ah..i'm so happy to talk to you guys..is it okay if I talk with germane alone Prussia?"
"Sure.." Prussia says..only to sit down..not taking it off speaker phone...Germany does though, getting Prussia to pout at him.
"He's gone." Germany fiddles with his pen..he has so much to say...but none of it is willing to come out. He's always like this when he talks to Italy on the phone..He's afraid to speak..afraid that all of these emotions, all of these thoughts and desires will just spill out..and he won't be able to control himself. Germany motions for Prussia to get out..and surprisingly he does with little fight. He just leaves..leaving Germany alone with Italy..his sweet voice in his ear, tempting him to let it all out.
"Okay! Not that I mind Prussia on the phone it's just..I really want to talk to Germany..ha..i'm happy you're still here..I.." Italy's voice gets softer..he sounds upset. This gets Germany to sit up..that protective urge taking over him again.
"..Are you already Italy? You don't sound well.." Ludwig taps his fingers on the desk impatiently..Italy taking to long to answer-
"I'm fine! Nothings wrong!" Italy chimes back up. "ah but how are you Germany? Did you sleep well? I'm really sorry I couldn't make it today, I know I usually-"
"Stop." Germany grips his fist..his heart is pounding, his stomach turning. "..stop lying to me.." He feels it..deep in his being..the feeling of hurt and betrayal once again.
"..I'm not lying to you Germany I-"
"Then promise me. Promise me you're not lying about this whole thing with Britain. I'm tired of not knowing, i'm tired of you not being here! What's so special about him huh?!-"
"Germany you're yelling at me! Are you mad? I'm sorry I-"
"promise me.." Ludwig pants, trying to regain himself. "..Promise me you're not lying..promise me on our friendship that you are telling me the complete truth. I want to hear say it Italy!" His breathing is uneven..he knows he should stop this..he's losing control over himself..He's getting tired of fighting..He's losing this battle.. He can't get Italy out of his head..he can't get these thoughts and emotions to stop..He's losing..
Italy doesn't respond..the line going quiet..this only fuels Germany...he grinds his teeth. " why aren't you saying anything? Can you not promise me Italy? Have you been lying to me this whole time? Have you betrayed me once again? Am I not enough anymore? Did you forgot who it was who's saved your ass all those times! Have you forgotten Italy?! What's so great about Britain? Tell me! Why are you lying to me? Are you not my best friend? Or is England your new bestie? Are you enjoying playing soccer with him and what ever the fuck else you're doing with him? Huh? You think it's okay to lie to me? To leave me here like this? DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS?!" He roars this..hitting his desk..not able to help it..He's sweating..his heart beating so fast, his chest tightening..He's seething with rage..his piercing blue eyes boring into the wall. He breathes like a bull..
That's when..he hears a sniffle from the other line..the small man's voice cracks into a sob..all the rage Germany was just feeling..fades away..thia man's cry..is like a bucket of water was thrown on him..getting him to come to his senses..His face falls..and all the emotions in his heart he was feeling..dulls to this hallow, empty feeling..He made Italy cry.
"I-I'm sorry, i-i'm sorry.." Italy hiccups..his voice cracking. "I'm t-trying so hard..i-i'm sorry I..i-i've made you mad once again..I haven't f-forgotten that you're my f-friend..I haven't.. I know all the t-things you've done for me!..t-that's why i'm here don't you see?" he cries.
"Italy..I.." HE can't speak..his throat is closing up..
"..Forgive me for bothering you again..for making you angry..t-that's the last thing I wanted you know?" he sniffles. "D-Do you h-h-hate me Germany?"
Speak. Say nein. Hey can't you talk? Hurry! Say something! Anything! "I..." He can't speak..something on the verge of exploding..
"I-It's true..you do!" Italy's sobs get louder..and before Germany can do anything..he hears Italy dropped the phone..his sobs fading away..as he runs.
"No itlay I don't hate you!" Germany roars out... "..I.." his chest swells..his mouth forming the words before he even thinks about them. "..I love you.." these three words..are so quiet..that if not for the way his whole being warmed up when he spoke them..he wouldn't even know he said them himself..Germany's breath catches..his eyes widening..his heart is beating too fast..it's not normal..Why is saying those words effecting him so much? He's told Italy he's loved him before..but..this time..it's different. Maybe it's because he was able to say it in English..maybe it's because he could barely get it out, or the feeling that's in his chest..Somehow..those three words..though true, didn't feel like a statement of his friendship with Italy..it was more like..a confession..his lips tingled..as if he was a child saying a bad word..Germany puts a hand over his heart..You would think he's dying..He feels hallow and full at the same time..a weight being lifted off his shoulders..but a new one being added..
He made Italy cry..why did he have to yell at him like that? It was only because of his jealousy of Britain..his desire to have Italy back that made him snap..he shouldn't have let his feelings get the best of him..Why couldn't he have told Italy he didn't hate him right away? Why did he have to freeze up?..Italy's sobs cut deeper then any knife that has pieced his rough skin. It's a weapon of mass destruction..a atom bomb..something he can't fight against..He didn't mean to make him cry..He didn't want to hurt him..he just..wants him back..
He loves him..that's what he told Italy when he was already gone..when he had run away..how is that a confession though?..He's already told Italy he loves him..he already knew he cared a lot about Italy but..this is different..could..could all these thoughts..these desires..these emotions for itlay be because..He loves Italy..more then just his best friend?..Could It be that's why he's so jealous of Britain?..That he loves Italy..as a man loves a woman?
This makes him feel sick. His face turns a dark red and he covers it with one of his hands..He's all warm..this stomach is full of butterflies..His chest hurts..with both the guilt of feeling this way..and of hurting Italy. He feels ashamed..he feels dirty..but..his heart flutters..as if it's happy he's finally realized this..that he finally knows..
He loves Italy. He wants him back. He wants that smile to be his and only his. He wants Italy to kiss him and only him..Is this why he was so interested in Italy? Why he wrote about him, and thought about him so much? Why he saved him so much and became his friend?..because he loved him?..even then?..Is that why he always gets mad when Italy goes off to flirt with girls? Why his chest fluttered when Italy would kiss him..is this why?..and it took Italy being gone..for him to finally realize..
How shameful. He's a disgrace...this love, these feelings, he has to put aside. If he doesn't, he'll keep hurting Italy with his jealously..he'll snap on him. Germany is Italy's best friend..The Italian is into girls..and hell, he didn't even know he swung that way!..how would a relationship between two males even work?..maybe he could look it up- nein. He's not going to ruin his friendship with Italy...Germany's sure if he told him..if he told him how he makes his chest feel funny..how all he thinks about is him and his smile..it would scare Italy. He would stay with Britain and never come back..Ludwig will forget about these feelings..he has to..
He can't lose Italy. His love is true but it's wrong. It's crossed the line..and now more then ever he wishes he could go back..because he understands why he's been such a mess..it's this love. It's infected him like some kind of disease..he's sure there's a book on how to stop loving someone..he'll have to get one..
But the main problem here..is that he made Italy cry. He hurt him..Germany frowns deeply, about to hang up..he won't call back..he can't with all these feelings..with finding this out..It's consuming his mind, making him want to run and hide from Italy..but at the same time, making him want to run to Italy and hold him..
"Hey, what happened? Italy just pushed past me in the hallway..he was crying.." Germany stops when he hears that voice..it's Britain..it's faint..he's not on the phone..
"I think he had a fight with whoever he was talking to."
..fight?..no..no it wasn't like that-
"Oh that's just great. Italy isn't stable enough for something like that..after the incident, it seems like the smallest things could set him off."..
Everything stops for Germany..incident? What is he talking about?..there was a incident?..Is Italy okay? He grips his fist..as he hears foot steps..he's holding his breath..
"Can you make sure he doesn't hurt himself? I need to make a call." The phone is picked up..Germany hears a click..and for a scared moment, he thinks Britain hung up..but then he hears England dial in a number..and then another click..Germany listens intently..He hears Britain's breathing..He seems nervous..but also he hears the phone ringing..Does England not know he's still on the phone?..
"Oh hey dude! I was just thinking about calling you! You psyched for tomorrow?" ..that's America's voice..it's so loud and booming..Germany has to stop himself from yelling at him to keep it down. " We are going to have a kick ass time! I got more scary movies for us to watch after we come back from Ocean city!"
"..That's actually why I'm calling America..I-"
"..You're not trying to get out of it are you?" Alfred sounds like he's frowning.
"No,!..no not at all..you see..I called because I have a favor to ask."
"A favor? Well ask away! I am the hero after all~" He laughs loudly.
"..is it okay if I bring Italy to your place tomorrow? There was a incident and Italy got a nasty hit to the head..He's disoriented and emotional. HE seems to be afraid to be alone..I don't want to leave him like this. He could hurt himself."
A hit to the head?..why didn't Italy say anything? He was hurt..he got hurt and Germany yelled at him..he's emotional..damn it Italy! Why..why can't you tell him anything?
"Oh.." America's tone is odd..there's silence between them for a while..before he sighs. "..Yeah, sure he can. I have plenty of rooms here.."
"Thank you so much Alfred. I"m sorry for bothering you with this. I know it's a hassle."
"..ha..yeah but it's more of hassle for you. You seem to really care about Italy...you sound like a protective mother." America doesn't laugh..his words get Germany to grip his fist..that feeling of jealousy bubbling in him..and yet..He loosens his fist..at least..Britain is taking care of Italy..at least he seems like he is concerned about him..maybe..he really is the better friend..
Maybe..Germany was never meant to be a friend to Italy.
"well i'm a bit shaken up by it. He got blood all over my floor. It just scared me is all..why do you sound mad America?"
Blood? All over his floor?..Germany's really worried now..He doesn't care if Britain's taken care of him..he's obviously not taking care of him enough to make sure he doesn't get hurt! What kind of friend is he?!
"Oh no reason. It's cool. Well I have to go, Lithuania, my bestie is calling for me." With that..America hangs up..
"..Bestie?" Britain sounds like he's frowning..before he hangs up..leaving Germany listening to the dial tone...
Italy...Germany hangs up the phone..before he holds his head in his hands..He got hurt..a hit to the head, blood everywhere..Why didn't he tell him?..if he told him..then he wouldn't have exploded on him..why did he have to yell at him?..Dealing with feelings is too hard..too complicated..
"WEST!" Prussia kicks the door down..holding a phone, his eyes wide. "I knew it! You loveee Italy! Love like, Italy and Germany sitting in a tree k.i.s.s.i.n.g~-"
"W-what? How did you-"
"I was listening to your conversation the whole time-"
'You what?!" Germany's mouth opens wide at how Prussia crosses his arms, and glares at him.
"I was mad at you for making Italy cry..but then you said you loved him..it makes sense. Why you've been acting like this. You're worried about him..but also you want him back desperately don't you? That's why you've been a mess..because you love him."
"..Brother..please stop saying that." Germany holds his head in his hands..trying to hide how he's blushing in shame. "It's wrong..I know."
"What's wrong about it? Italy's hot!" Germany sputters at his brother..who gives him a thumbs up. "You know you didn't have to hide this from me west! I don't judge! You're my little brother, I don't care if you like dick or boobs..I just care about you." The way his red eyes soften..it gets the anger Germany was feeling..to fade away..The albino is looking at him..showing him this caring side of him..
"..I wasn't hiding it from you brother..I didn't even know myself till just now." Germany sighs, running a hand through his hair.
"..seriously? You're so dense west! Not knowing your own feelings." Prussia laughs.
"Don't laugh at me." Germany glares, blushing. "..Brother if you tell anyone about this...!" Germany's eyes narrow..his teeth bared as a threat.
"I won't tell anyone. Jeez who do you think I am?" Prussia frowns. "..Oh..and I heard all about Italy's incident." Prussia frowns more. "it sounds like he needs us!"
"I know but there's no way to get to him...not while he's in Britain's country."
"..But he's not going to be."
"Huh?" Germany blinks, looking at Prussia who is grinning.
'Remember? He's going to be at America's! Are boss didn't say we couldn't pay a 'visit' to Alfred!"
"..Though that's true, me and America are not on good terms..why would he let us enter his home?" Germany sighs, thinking bout his past with that annoying blonde.
"Leave that to me!" Prussia smirks as he dials a number on the phone he's holding..He puts it on speaker phone..and when Germany raises his eye brow..Prussia winks.
"..Hello?..Germany dude, why you calling me?" America answers sounding amused. " what? You coming at me bro?"
"yes I am Germany. I'm not coming at you..dude. I just called to say sorry-" Germany gives him a death glare, getting up from his seat, only for Prussia to hop away, smirking. "I was hoping me and my brother could come for a visit tomorrow."
"No way dude. You suck ass and smell like meat and cheese." America laughs loudly, Germany's eye twitching, he opens his mouth..only for Prussia to put his hand over it.
"Come on! The truth is..I admire you America. Your heroicness in world war two was amazing. You really saved the day. Come on, we want to see the hero of the world."
"...Hmm..well when you put it that way..it makes you sound like you're my fan Germany?" America's attitude seems to have changed.
Germany makes a sound of disagreement..but Prussia keeps his hand firmly on his mouth.
"Yes! I'm your number one fan America! Your heroness makes me wish I wasn't so stuffy and serious. I wish I was more like you! I look up to you and how how fast you can stuff down cheese burgers without barely chewing..you are truly amazing!" Prussia is having a hard time not cracking up with how much Germany is fighting with him..cussing him out with his eyes.
"Wow! I had no fucking idea dude! Finally! My first fan! I am pretty heroic huh?..hmm..i'll tell you what. You and your brother can come over and stay the night..It's not like it's just going to be me and Britain anyway.." America grumbles. "I'll be sure to teach you the America way, and in no time you'll be just like me! Except you won't be the hero. I'm the hero but hey, you could be like my side kick..like robin, and im batman!" He laughs. "Well see you then dude. Oh! Bring scary ass movies! Alright see you robin!" He hangs up..
"I"m no one's robin!" Germany roars when he finally gets Prussia off of him..His brother is cracking up, getting Germany to grind his teeth, he grabs a hold of him and starts shaking him. "Why did you do that?! I don't even like America! Now he thinks i'm his fan? Nein! I should gas you for this-"
"Hey! Why you mad? I just got you a way to see Italy!"
This gets Germany to stop shaking him..his eyes widen in realization..his chest swelling up..Prussia grins. "..We better start getting packed huh?"
"..Right." Germany's eyes harden. "I want you packed up in 30 minutes. Pack lightly, 3 outfits the most."
"That's the west I know. So serious even when it comes to packing." Prussia chuckles..before he starts to walk out of the room..he stops..a derpy smile stretching his lips. "..haha..America called you his robin-"
"get the hell out."
Prussia laughs and leaves..Germany grips his fist..before walking out with him..his eyes aflame..He will pack his clothes. He will go to America..he will see Italy...He will tell him he doesn't hate him..he'll fix this..He'll hide all these feelings for him..He'll make sure he's okay...
Germany distracts himself from how his heart is beating faster..by focusing on packing his stuff..and the trip to come..planing out all the times and what they are going to do orderly..
Italy..he's coming and he's packing all he needs..
Which means he's leaving these feelings behind.
Italy holds his throbbing head, hiding under Britain's covers..it was the closest place to run to. He hiccups, trying to control his tears, holding the blanket around him like a cocoon, closing his eyes, pretending he's away from everything right now..all sounds, all sights. He tries imagining he's back in that flower filed..but what he sees isn't' beautiful roses..he keeps seeing a waste land..full of dead flowers. He can't go back to that place..and he can't think of Germany for comfort.
Ludwig hates him. He didn't have to say the words for Italy to know it's true. If he density hate him he's surely mad at him. He yelled at him, his voice was so loud..it startled him, scared him. His loud voice got his head to start hurting again.. Italy's tears were from the pain of his head, but also from what Germany said..
" why aren't you saying anything? Can you not promise me italy? Have you been lying to me this whole time? Have you betrayed me once again? Am I not enough anymore? Did you forgot who it was who's saved your ass all those times! Have you forgotten italy?!.."
..Italy couldn't promise him..because he is lying. He isn't telling Germany the truth but he's doing it for him! How could he think he forgot all of the things he's done for italy?..That's why he's here, he doesn't want to be a burden to Germany..but it seems..no matter what he does. If he's with Germany..or if he's away..he's a burden, a stress to him. Italy could never forget Germany or what he's done for him..why would he think such a thing?..Maybe because he knows Italy is lying..and it's hurting Germany..He's hurting Germany but..he just wants to make him proud. If Germany gives him just a little more time, he can explain everything to him from the beginning, explain why he lied, explain how much Germany means to him.
He never wanted Germany to hate him..he didn't want to make him angry. No matter what he does though, it seems he can't do it right. He's useless. Maybe he'll never be able to change that...even with all the super powers in the world..it doesn't change the fact he's a coward. It doesn't change the fact he'd spill all his friends secrets to save his own skin..It doesn't change anything. Maybe italy can't change..but he wanted..just this once to stand on his own, to make it so Germany is proud..that he won't leave him.
What if all his nightmares come true?..What if Germany leaves him..just like holy Rome?..He doesn't want him to go. He doesn't want to be alone. I'm sorry Germany...don't hate me..just give me some more time..and I promise..I'll make you proud.
But really Italy doesn't want more time. He wants to run to Germany, to cling to him, and beg him not to hate him. Italy feels weak, and his head is killing him, causing him to sob, curling in his toes, closing his eyes tightly...He feels the fear. The fear of losing Germany. Of him walking away..and never coming back. He's a failure,He's weak. He's a traitor but..He's sorry. He doesn't want to be alone..don't leave him alone.
He couldn't imagine life without Germany. He couldn't imagine a life without this man's stern voice, his training sessions..He couldn't imagine a life where he doesn't run away from him..and Germany chases after him..dragging him back. He couldn't imagine a life where he doesn't see him all the time or make him lunch. He couldn't imagine a life where Germany was no longer his friend..
he doesn't want that life..
Italy's tears are soaking Britain's blanks..ah..this will make him mad..but he can't help it now. His heart hurts..it feels broken. He's failed as a friend once again.
"If he's not your friend, you could force him to be." a voice sounds through his head, getting him to tense..He knows this voice..but his head hurts to much to resister it.. "That's what I do. It's much easier."
Now he feels scared. The voice scares him and he doesn't know why. He covers his ears, breathing heavily...ugh..his head..it's feeling all fuzzy now. It hurts. His heart hurts..There's a ringing in his brain..It hurts..it hurts so much..
"All alone~" the voice chuckles.
..all alone. Being here in the darkness of being bundled in this blanket..he can believe it. There's no sound..no anything. Nothing but him and his sobs. He closes his eyes..
He's back in the field in Germany..There's flowers and it's beautiful..He smiles and waves at Ludwig in the distance..only for him to fade away..The flowers wilt away..just like that day..the day his love left him..
The blanket is suddenly ripped off of him, light pooling in, getting him to wince..all he sees is those on fire green orbs..and he knows. He made England mad too. Now he's going to be punished..maybe he'll hate him too.
"I-I'm sorry Britain! I d-d-didn't mean to bump into you in the hallway-"
"i don't care about that stupid! What is wrong with you?..why are you crying like this?" England's voice isn't harsh..and as Italy blinks his tears away..he realizes the fire in this country's eyes was all in his head. "..you're gripping your head? Does it still hurt?..or is it because something happened between you and Germany?"
That hits his soft spot..He gasps, taking a deep breath..before he grabs England, his eyes widen but he doesn't push him off. "England Germany hates me!" Italy cries, his shoulders shaking. " He hates me!"
"What? I don't think-" Britain's eyes go back to normal..He's looking at him oddly now..staring at the bandage on his head.
"IT's true! He as so mad at me! Yelling at me..his voice was so loud and scary..He thinks i'm lying about what i'm doing with you, he thinks i'm betraying him! And when I asked if he hated me..he didn't answer! He hates me!" Italy trembles, sniffling.
"..Italy did he say that he hated you?" England grips his shoulders.
"..w-well no but-"
"Is he not your best friend?"
"well yeah he-"
"Just because he yells at you or gets mad at you doesn't mean he hates you idiot! I get mad at America, and yell at him all the time! Do I hate him?..no. I love him. America left me Italy..and I still didn't hate him. I may not know you two all that well..but from my experiences in world war 2, seeing him save you from me, time and time again. Seeing how you too handled the rumors I spread..i could see how close you were. A week ago, I was in Germany, watching you two work out..I saw you fall Italy..and I saw how he jumped to your rescue..worry and concern in those eyes of his. He carried you home..and looked at you with a protective glint..that isn't the look you give someone that you could hate easily. You need to stop jumping to conclusions, stop trusting your dreams and use your head more idiot!" England pats his chest, his eyes on fire. "I was your enemy, and I didn't even hate you! So do you truly think that someone who's been with you for this long, who's done so much for you, could just hate you? If so your more of a idiot then I thought."
Italy stares at him with wide eyes..his lips parted slightly in awe..His tears slowly stop. "B-But..why would he be so mad at me?..His voice was so loud and scary!-"
"You can't make everyone happy. You're going to fight with Germany, your going to make him mad but that's apart of a life. You have a problem, you work through it, and you grow closer. You can't get so upset over something like this. IT's pathetic."
"I-I can't help it.." Italy wipes his tears. "I don't want to make Germany mad..I don't want him to leave me!"
This gets something to flash through Britain's eyes..and he frowns, reaching out and putting his hand on top of Italy's head.. "Italy..think about all the times you've made Germany mad...I know this can't be the first time, your rather annoying and you've made plenty of mistakes in world war 2."
"..Well..there was that one time I ran away from him at training..then when I told his secrets..then when I put my pink tank top in with his whites and ruin them. There was also that time I ran to his room only to trip and fall on his balls. That one time I fell asleep while he was talking..the time I tried to take Egypt by myself..that time i-" Italy gets a thoughtful expression, thinking of all the times he's made Germany mad..wow..there's a lot of them-
"Okay, see? You make him mad a lot but did he leave you any of those times?"
"..No."
"He yelled at you and after that, you two went back to normal right?"
"..Si." Italy's eyes light up..He looks at Britain with them so wide. "..So..So this is okay?..I can fix this? Germany doesn't hate me? I'm not going to be alone?"
"Of course not idiot. Stop being so stupid-"
"Yay!" Italy hugs Britain, smiling, his mood being lifted. "I need to call him and say sorry about running from the phone! I was just so upset, I wasn't thinking!.."
"..I think that's enough of talking to Germany for the night. I think you're not stable enough for something like that. Hitting Your head has made you over emotional-"
"I'm not over emotional!" Italy's eyes water.
"..Yes you are." Britain sighs. "You need to sleep. I think you'll be better tomorrow but to make sure you're coming with me to America. Did you pack your clothes?"
"Yup! I packed it all before I talked to Germany just like you said!" Italy's eyes beam. "what about you England?"
"yes, we are all prepared. We will be getting up early to catch our plane so be ready for that."
"No problem! I'm use to getting up early because of Germany!" Italy beams..before he yawns.
"We should head to bed soon. We have a long day ahead of us-"
"How are you feeling?" Italy stares at him intently, getting Britain to stop what he's saying. "about tomorrow I mean...are you scared?"
"..I'm not scared. I feel nervous but honestly, I feel better that you're going to be with me there. I also feel more comfortable knowing this is just another day of getting closer to America..I enjoy that." Britain blushes.
"..You know what I think.." Italy's lips turn upward..his eyes lighting up in mischief. "I think we should use this jealous tool against America!"
"..What are you saying?"
"Well he's jealous of me right? I bet he's not too happy with you bring me along!"
"now that you mention it, he did seem rather sore.." England can't help to smile at that. "He really is jealous of you. It's funny."
"Yes! We use that against him! Because remember when ever I came around he was all over you? So we have to act all nice and stuff to each other, and i'm sure America will be all over you just to get you away from me!" Italy chuckles at how Britain's blush darkens.
"All over me.." England's eyes get glossy..a odd smile on his face before he blinks and coughs. "Yes..i do think we should go with your plan Italy."
"Yay! Okay now..before we go to sleep.." Italy fiddles with his fingers. "..could I..sleep with you tonight?..I know it's a bother but..I.." Italy trails off..not able to look at him.
"..I told you that you could. Stop looking like that." England glares away from him when Italy beams at him, smiling so brightly.
"Britain's so nice!" Italy jumps up and down on the bed, smiling brightly as Britain gets up.
"Don't do that! You're ruining my sheets!" England's eye twitches as he goes to 'fix' the sheets itlay wrinkled up. He sighs deeply. "Are you ready to lay down now? Do you need medication?"
"Nah i'm all good! Britain made the pain go away." Italy smiles brightly at him..England stares at him a moment..a look Italy hasn't seen before in those green orbs..before he gets up and walks over to the light switch..to turn off the lights and place them in darkness..Italy's chest tightens..when he thinks of what england just did for him..He comforted him..He's letting him sleep with him..he can't help to ask. "..Does this mean we're friends?"
England pauses, his hand on the light switch. He slowly turns to look back at Italy, those green eyes can't be read..but they're deep..They lock eyes..those green boring in his brown..He opens his mouth.. "Of course not idiot. " He snorts, that deep look leaving his eyes as he shuts off the lights..consuming the room in darkness..
Italy frowns slightly in disappointment as England gets in bed with him..but he notices Britain doesn't move to far away from him.. "Get some sleep." HE grunts, turning his head away from Italy..The weaker country stares at his outline in the darkness..before he smiles. Italy wraps his arms around England's arm..hugging it against his chest..
'You're a friend to me Britain."
England doesn't respond..He doesn't look over at him..but once itlay is asleep..He turns his head and looks back at him..watching his sleeping form..Surprisingly he doesn't feel the need to push Italy away..He's not bothered by it..and in the darkness of the night..
It hides the small smile on his face..before his eyes slip shut..and he's gone.
Maybe just maybe..you're a friend to me too.
Got this out! Yes! I'm really tired right now so i'll cut this short. Thanks again for the reviews.
Till next time!