Hi amazing readers! Loving your reviwes! So this is a huge and emotional chapter! So I wrote this in a different way, the text in bold letters are Santana's memories and the normal text is the present. Hope you guys enjoy, let me know what you think! Thanks for reading. ;)
X
I have been driving for eleven hours now. I feel like my body will shut down any minute. So I decide to stop at this weird ass gas station to get something to drink. I park my car and enter the shop. I get myself five red bulls and some snacks.
"Sup." I say to the weird guy at the counter.
"Hey sexy." He says with a nasty smile.
"How much?" I ask annoyed.
"Well if you suck my dick it's free." He says grabbing his crotch.
"Fuck off, just tell me how much." I say with a hard voice.
"Listen you bitch I can do whatever I want to you and you will like it." He sneers.
That's when I stab the counter with my hunting knife, only inches away from his hand. He jumps and stares at me with wide eyes.
"How much?" I repeat myself with gritted teeth.
"Eleven." He whispers.
"Thank you very much." I say and throw the money on the counter.
I take out my knife, grab my stuff and go back to my car. I drive for a while and then stop to eat and drink. I drink two read bulls, I don't want to sleep yet. I get back on the road and I start to think about my life.
2004 – 9 year old Santana
I stare at my mommy, she´s lying at the tub and she doesn't move. She is bleeding from her wrists, I don't understand what happened.
"Mum please wake up." I cry as I shake her body.
She never woke up. Daddy said she was very sick in the head and that she couldn't handle the pain. I think he made her sick, they always had horrible fights.
I cry as I see them lower my mommy's coffin on the ground. I look at my dad and he is not crying, he is almost smiling. I don't understand. I just want my mommy back.
2005 – 10 year old Santana
I am sitting at my room playing with my dolls. Dad is out late again, he´s doing it almost every day now. He comes home angry and with a strange smell on his breath.
"Santana! Come here girl." I hear his deep voice scream.
I run down the stairs, he is looking really angry.
"Hi little bitch." He says with a mean face.
"Daddy what's wrong?" I ask.
"It's time for you to become a woman. I need a new bitch since you whore mother killed herself." He sneers out.
"I don't understand." I say scared.
"You don't have to, just don't scream." He says and grabs me.
That is the first time it happens.
I almost sleep at the wheel. Shit I have to stop and get some rest. It´s early in the morning so I should be able to head out at night. I pull up at a motel and get a room. I take a long bath, order some food and finely lie down. I sleep instantly.
2009 – 14 year old Santana
"That's nasty as fuck." I cough out.
"You have to get used to it." Puck laughs and takes a drag from the cigarette.
He have been friends since I was eleven, he is the only friend I have.
"Fine, let me try again." I tell him and this time it feels good.
"Better huh?" He watches me with amused eyes.
"Ya, it calms me down." I say.
I get home and my father calls me. I sigh and walk over to him.
"Come here and give your father a kiss." He says and I feel my stomach turn.
"Hi." I say and he kisses my cheek.
He punches me the face out of nowhere.
"What the fuck?" I scream in pain.
"You bitch, have you been smoking?" He sneers.
"Why do you care? You are a drunk and a junkie." I say.
As if alcohol wasn't enough he had started doing meth in the last year.
"I will not have than in my house." He spits.
"Whatever." I say and turn around.
That's when he strikes me in the back and I fall to the floor. I feel blood running down. I turn and he faces me with his belt in his hands.
"Please, don't hurt me." I plead.
"You will learn to respect me you whore." He says.
He hits me in the face and everything goes black. I wake up and the pain in overwhelming. I get up and I'm covered in blood. I look at the clock, shit I've been out for two hours. I search for him and find him passed out, so I quietly go outside the door. I walk to Puck's house, he lives five minutes from me. I call him and he comes out to meet me.
"San what the fuck? Who did this to you?" He says and holds me.
"My father." I say in pain.
"What?" He asks in disbelief.
"He rapes me and beats me." I cry. Puck is the first person I tell.
"I'm going to kill him." He says through gritted teeth.
"No, please. He will hurt you too." I say and hold him.
"You can't let him get away with this." Puck says.
"There is nothing I can do. But promise me we will leave this shitty town when we are 18." I plead him.
"I promise." Puck says.
Puck's parents aren't much better. His dad is a known dealer that goes in and out of jail and his mother is a junkie. We are best friends because we know what it is like to suffer, we know pain and abandonment. We are each others rock and only family.
I wake up sweating, my memories always hunt my dreams. I look at the clock and it's night, I should head out. I pay for the room and ride off. My mind once again goes back to my memories.
2010 – 15 year old Santana
"Whoa who is that?" I ask Puck as I see this hot blonde girl.
"I don't know. She's new I guess." Puck says.
"She's fucking hot." I smirk.
"Go talk to her San, you need to get laid." Puck laughs.
"Hey, I get plenty ok?" I glare at him.
"Sure, from your own fingers." He jokes.
"Shut up, I'm going to make my move." I say and walk towards the girl.
"Go get em Don Juan!" Puck says.
"Hi, you're new right?" I ask her.
She looks up at me with the bluest eyes I've ever seen, my heart skips a beat.
"Oh hi, yes I am. I'm Brittany, but you can call me Brit." She says with a big smile.
"Nice to meet you, I'm Santana but you can call me sexy." I smirk.
"You're funny." She laughs.
I snap out of my memories and think about Rachel, and how we met. I felt the same as I did when I met Brit, that thing that happens to you heart when you meet someone special. I sigh in sadness when my mind goes back to the last time I saw Rachel. So I go back to remembering Brit.
2011 – 16 year old Santana
"Fuck that was amazing babe." I say as my orgasm passes.
"I know." Brit smirks at me.
"I love you so much. Only two years left and we are out of here." I say and kiss her.
"I can't wait, I love you too San." She says and kisses me softly.
That's when I hear the noise down stairs. Shit, he´s home! He´s not supposed to be here.
"You have to go." I tell Brit.
"Baby why are you so nervous? Calm down." She says.
She doesn't know about my father. I can't tell her, I know she will be disgusted with me and leave.
"Trust me, I need to be this nervous." I say and start to dress up.
That's when he barges in and looks shocked.
"What the fuck? Are you a fucking dyke now?" He screams, voice full of disgust.
"Brit, run. Just run." I tell her and punch him in the face.
The punch gives Brit time to run out. He punches me back and I fall on the floor. He kicks me and I can feel the broken ribs. I try to get up but he starts to beat me with his belt, my skin open with each hit. He turns me and gets his pants down.
"I will teach you how to like a dick you dyke slut." He says and rapes me yet again.
I find myself sobbing as I drive. I have been driving for twelve hours, I need to stop again. I get a room at another motel. I can't sleep, so I go to the bar just outside. I walk in and there are mostly men there, they watch me as I go in but I pay no attention to them. I walk over to the bar and take a seat.
"What can I get you?" A woman asks me.
"Hi, give me a Jack. Cowboy please." I tell the stunning red head.
"Coming right up." She smiles and winks at me.
"Thanks." I say when she hands me the drink.
"So what brings you to this hell hole?" She asks.
"Oh I just stopped to get some rest." I say.
"Shame we don't get beauty's like you often. You have a name?" She flirts.
"Thanks, you're stunning yourself. I'm Santana, and you are?" I flirt back.
"I'm Rachel." She says in a sexy voice.
Just my luck I think to myself as I drink up my Jack.
"So Rachel, when can I take you to my room?" I ask.
She seems shocked by my forwardness at first but then she smirks.
"I will be out in twenty minutes." She tells me.
"Great, meet me in room six. Keep the change." I say and leave twenty dollars at the bar.
"I'll be there soon." She smiles.
I go back to my room and smoke a joint. I feel like I'm cheating on Rachel, but I have to get over her. I'm feeling lousy and sex has always been my escape. I hear a knock so I open the door and let the red head in.
"You like coke?" I ask her as I do a couple of lines.
"Sure." She says as she sits on the bed.
We snort all of it and I'm feeling high. I waste no time and start to undress. She follows me and we are soon naked. We start to have sex and all I can think about is Rachel. Not the red head that is going down on me, but the one that I love. I push the thoughts out of my head and concentrate on the pleasure.
2013 - 18 year Santana
"How did you get all this scars San?" Brit asks and she traces them.
I'm covered in scars, especially in my back. They are a reminder of the years of violence, I need to get tattoos asap.
"I got in a car accident when I was a kid." I lie.
"Poor baby." She says and kisses them.
I feel so loved. It's time I say to myself, so I get out of bed and grab a little black box. Brit watches me with curious eyes. I sit at the bed and look at her.
"Will you marry me?" I ask.
"Oh my God! Yes, yes I will." She says with joy.
"I love you! Only one week and we are out of here baby." I say as I put the cheap ring on her finger.
She smiles and kisses me. She seems a little weird this days, it must be the anticipation for our escape. Someone calls her, she looks at her phone and turns it off with wide eyes.
"Who was that baby?" I ask her.
"Oh no one. Go over the plan again San." She says quickly.
That was weird, but I shrug it off. I tell her the plan again, but I leave the part where I kill my father out. Brit hates violence.
I wake up with a jump. Shit. I look at sleeping read head that's next to me and sigh. I feel bad for fucking her, but whatever. I slowly walk to the bathroom and take a shower. I get out and she´s still sleeping. I write a note.
"Morning. I had to go and you were sleeping. The room is paid for, so stay if you want. You are too good for this place, you deserve better. I was great knowing you, Rachel. Take care. Santana."
I put the note on the table. I get dressed, grab my stuff and go to my car. I should get to Lima in about twelve hours. I check my phone, I have more than fifty missed calls from Rachel. I sigh and want to call her back, but I can't. I drive off and let memories come to my brain.
2013 – 18 year old Santana
"So you got it?" I ask Puck.
"Ya. San are you sure? We can just go away." He says and hands me the gun.
"No. I can't let him live. He could do this to someone else. I have to do it." I tell Puck and put the gun in my hoodie's pocket.
"Ok, but be careful. We meet in two hours at my place. Call me if anything goes wrong." Puck says.
"I know. I'll be there." I say as I hug him and leave.
I walk over to my house. Today is the day I get my freedom. Puck, Brit and I are leaving to LA. But first I'm going to kill that monster. Only then will I be really free. I decide to text Brit and tell her the plan is a go.
"Hey babe, everything is working out. Meet me at Puck's place in two hours. I love you."
She doesn't respond and I find it weird. She must be busy packing her stuff. I get to my house and can hear a woman moaning. It must be one of the junkies my dad brings home sometimes. I run up to my room and get everything ready. I pack my bags, get my guitar, my drawing kit and the money I saved for two years working at the diner. I get everything downstairs.
I pull the gun out. I'm nervous but it's now or never. I go to my father's room and open the door. I can't believe my eyes. I know the woman that's riding my dad, it's Brit.
"Get off her! Get off!" I scream.
They both jump up and get of the bed. I can't believe he raped her too. I aim the gun at him and I'm about to shoot when Brit jumps in font. I look at her with wide eyes.
"Brit?" I cry looking at her eyes.
"San, I'm so sorry. Please don't kill him." She pleads.
"What? But he was raping you! We were supposed to go away today." I say with a broken voice.
"No, we were making love. I'm staying. I love him, he showed me what it means to be a woman." She says and my hearts breaks.
"You can't do this. This is not happening." I whisper.
"Ya it is you dyke. You can't even keep your woman. I'm better than you, I've always been." My father laughs.
"Shut up you monster, just shut up!" I scream and shoot him in the leg.
"No Santana! Please don't, just leave." Brit screams and hugs my screaming father.
I look at her and I can feel my legs shake. I can't believe this. I vomit all over and feel like I'm going to pass out. I look at her one last times but she is looking at him with loving eyes. I drop the gun and run downstairs. I grab my thing and run out the door. I text Puck and tell him we have to go now. I run to his place and his waiting for me in the car. I jump in.
"San you're fucking pale! Where is Brit? Did you do it?" He asks me concerned.
"She's with him. She loves him. Never ask me about them again. Just drive." I say in a broken voice.
Puck nods and speeds off. I take the ring off my finger and throw it out the window. We leave Lima and all the pain behind, or so I hoped.
I come back to my senses. I have to stop daydreaming about my past. That's when I see the "Welcome to Lima" sing. More like well come to hell I think. I sigh and drive into town unsure of what will come next.