This should've been up Thursday, but I couldn't upload T.T Sorry!
Saffire: Perverted Roy is fun to use.
MakoRain: All restrains are use for this fic won't become a M. Elysia needs a playmate doesn't she? XD Hughes is a great deal of help and a brave man for risking his neck.
Forgottenspirit: Thanks
Neopyrocitrine: I inspired you! -sniff sniff- I feel so proud. School is tough for me too.
Silver Mist: I still tickle the funny bone :3
Jack Sparrow: I hope you do well on your essay!
Lola: Yay!
Summary: No matter how hard she scrubs, the blood and gunpowder will remain.
Chapter Ten:
Desperation
She studied the blade as she stood in the shower. No matter how hard she scrubs, the scent of gunpowder and blood will never leave her skin. The war has been over for months and her acts continued to haunt her still.
Is this the feeling you have when your psyche starts crumbing down? Suicide...the thought used to make her feel scorn. No longer did it seemed so idiotic to her. The idea of it feels so pleasant to her. So forgiving, not cursing her for taking the lives of many.
The idea of seeing her blood going down the drain seemed oddly masochistic. An odd symbolism of the possibility her sins will finally be cleansed. She was a murderer, she was too cowardly to face her victims' face to face to look them in the eye. She hid behind a rifle.
She did have Roy to lean on, someone she could share the feeling with, but that is all in the past. She was picking up the pieces from him for so long, listening to his thought. The offer was more than returned to her. She could piece it together then. She dropped the blade as she felt herself collapsing into tears.
Is this what it is like to live in such an insatiable hell?