A/N: If anyone remembers the first chapter, Pony mentioned Kendi losing someone close to her. Well, this is the chapter where Kendi starts to tell it in her own words (that I have written). This is also where Kendi reads "The Outsiders" and she starts recognizing some of the other characters and where she's met them blah, blah, blah… you get the picture.
Disclaimer: I don't own "The Outsiders." The lawyers can leave now.
Kendi's POV
I read Dad's essay like he told me to at the dining table. The name "Dally" caught my attention. Somehow I vaguely remember hearing about him somewhere. Dad's never mentioned him as far as I know, so I don't have a clue of how that's possible.
I remembered a few people. There was Uncle Darry and Uncle Sodapop, of course. I think I met Steve a while back when Uncle Soda came to visit. He was okay. When I read Dad's description of Uncle Sodapop, I knew that there really were things that never changed. Uncle Soda's still a happy-go-lucky type of guy and he's a lot of fun to be around. I was confused with his description of Uncle Darry. He said that Uncle Darry didn't really care for him. That couldn't be true. He said that Darry just saw him as a burden. I thought Darry was a really caring person. I guess he sometimes didn't show it.
I remembered Two-Bit. I met him last year when he came for a visit. He was funny and always got everyone to smile. Some people call him by his real name, Keith, but he lets me and my dad and uncles call him Two-Bit. He gave me a switchblade for my birthday once. He even sent the receipt to prove to Dad that it was paid for and not stolen.
There was another guy I didn't recognize, Johnny. I kind of felt sorry for him. He went through a lot according to Dad. His parents either hit him or ignore him completely and on top of that, a bunch of Socs jump him and nearly kill him. Dad did mention that Johnny was a close friend of his in his writing so why haven't I heard of him? I thought about asking Dad if I could meet him sometime after I finished reading this.
The next few pages were a blur. Dally was being a jerk to Mom at the movies and Mom ended up splashing the Coke he bought for her on him. Way to go, Mom. Then there was a part where Uncle Darry hit Dad. Huh? Did that really happen? Then Dad ran away and Johnny joined him mostly because Johnny's parents wouldn't give a damn if he were missing or gone. That's kind of sad. If I had run away, my parents would worry themselves sick.
As I got on one with Dad's memoir (could you call it that?) I figured out why it was so hard for him to talk about this. After Johnny killed Bob, the Soc, they went to Dally and then Dally directed them to a place called Windrixville and to a church on Jay Mountain. That was where Dad and Johnny stayed for about five days. Dad had to cut his hair and bleach it. I tried to imagine Dad with blond hair instead of his usual graying reddish-brown. I had to prevent myself from laughing. But when I thought about it more, somehow I got an image of Cameron. Weird.
Later, Dally shows up and Dad and Johnny decide to go back and turn themselves in. It was self-defense after all. What would you do if a bunch of guys were trying to drown your best friend in a fountain and you had a blade sticking out of your pocket? I know I would've stabbed someone.
After that, I started to realize that I would never have a chance to meet Johnny. He and Dad had saved a bunch of kids in a burning building and a piece of timber hit Johnny. Johnny was permanently paralyzed and soon after a rumble with the Socs, Dally and Dad go visit him. That's when they witness Johnny's death. Then Dad wrote that Dally broke down and then pretty much had himself killed by the police. No wonder Dad didn't want to talk about this. Two of his close friends died. I suddenly felt an urge to tell Dad about… that thing. God, I wish that never happened. One of the major differences between Dad's friends' deaths and my big sister's death is the fact that I actually could've prevented it from happening. I could've done something. And I didn't.
I was only ten years old. Barely in the double digits. Dana was fourteen. She was my big sister. Well, not exactly. You see, I don't have any siblings that I know of. Dana's the closest thing I'd ever had to a sister. We met when I was put into one of the foster homes when I was six. Dana was there too and she was ten at the time. I'd never been in a foster home before and Dana took care of me the whole time. She let me call her my big sister and I always did. I thought that someday we'd get adopted together and we'd be sisters legally. Sadly, it'll never happen now.
Flashback"Dana, who are we going to live with this time?" I said as we sat in the backseat of Ms. Crystal's car.
"I think Ms. Crystal said we'd be living with this lady named Ms. Coley," Dana told me. Ms. Crystal was our social worker and she was driving us to our new foster home. I was nervous.
When we got to the house, I said, "It looks like a Mother Goose house, Dana."
"It does, huh?" she said not even glancing at the house.
"Really, look at the colors!" Dana finally looked. The house was bright yellow and had fire engine red shutters. The bold colors made my eyes hurt when I looked at it.
"That is one weird house," Dana said.
"Now girls, remember, it's what's on the inside that counts. Neither of us paid attention.
When we got out of the car, I was the first one to the door. Ms. Crystal followed me and Dana was taking forever to get there.
"Can I ring the doorbell, now?" I asked.
"Wait until Dana gets here, sweetie," Ms. Crystal said. Ms. Crystal's nice. She has curly red- orange hair and green eyes behind wire-rimmed glasses.
When Dana finally arrived, I pushed the doorbell several times.
"I think they heard you, dear," Ms. Crystal said sweetly.
A woman with graying blond hair answered the door. I immediately grabbed onto Dana's arm. I usually do that when I start to meet new people.
"Hello, Ms. Coley. I'm Sadie Crystal. We talked on the phone this morning and I told you we'd be coming today. This is Dana and Kendi," Ms. Crystal said. Ms. Coley smiled at us. It was a friendly smile, a welcoming one.
"How lovely," she said. "It'll be nice having a couple of girls here for a change. Come in." Ms. Coley brought us to the family room. I kept a firm grip on Dana's arm.
"You can let go of my arm, Baby Sis. You're starting to cut off my circulation," Dana said jokingly. "Baby Sis" is Dana's nickname for me. She's the only person I'd let call me "Baby." I'm small and I don't like being reminded of it a lot.
I reluctantly let go of Dana's arm. We sat down on a sofa.
"Boys, come down here and meet our new guests!" Ms Coley called.
A brown haired boy came down the stairs. He was tall and looked to be about Dana's age, if not older.
"Gordon, where's your brother, Demitri?" Ms. Coley asked. Gordon shrugged.
"I don't know. I can't keep track of the little squirt," he said. Then I saw another brown haired boy come down the stairs. He stopped at the middle of the steps instead of joining us like Gordon did. This one looked to be about my age.
"Demitri, what are you doing over there?" Ms. Coley said. The boy didn't say anything.
Ms. Crystal left after dropping us off. Gordon, who turned out to be fifteen, was talking to Dana. They seemed to be getting along. I just sat on the couch watching them talk. Dana was leaning against the wall and Gordon was standing in front of her. I don't know what they were talking about.
"Is Dana your sister?" the boy next to me asked. It was Demitri. I forgot he was sitting next to me.
I was surprised by his question. No one really ever thought of Dana and me being related. It was mostly because Dana was cool and I wasn't. Dana was pretty, too. She was medium height and had long, black hair that went down to the middle of her back, pale skin, and coal-black eyes. She was kind and almost never lost her temper. I get angry easily when someone bugs me. I try not to but I can never help it. Dana says it helps if you just ignore whatever anyone says. Easy for her to say. No one's ever said anything bad about her.
"Not really, not by blood anyways," I said. "Why?"
"It's just that I saw you clinging on her arm. I thought that if were gonna depend on her like that, you must've known her like a sister," Demitri said. I didn't day anything. "I sometimes cling onto Gordon when I'm scared." I looked at him.
"Really?" I said. Most people thought it was unnatural for me to cling on Dana like I did.
"Yeah," Demitri said looking a little bit embarrassed about telling me how he clung onto his big brother. "You want to play a board game or something?"
"Sure." We went to the living room and got out games like Scrabble Jr., Life, and Monopoly. Demitri told me a lot while we were playing including how they're parents died and they ended up living with Ms. Coley as foster kids. We became fast friends just as Gordon and Dana did.
At the start of fifth grade, Demitri and I ended up in the same class. I also met this kid named Emmet. He was one of Demitri's friends. Emmet had red hair and a freckled face and had black-rimmed glasses over his eyes. He was kind of annoying.
"Why do you hang out with Demitri so much?" Emmet said.
"Because he's my friend," I answered.
"Right," he scoffed. He gets on my nerves a lot.
Dana said that a lot of boys are like that. She told me a lot of things and gave me some advice. One happened to be if a guy were being mean to you, a good punch in the shoulder would shut them up. I liked it when Dana and I talked. It made me really feel like she was my big sister. She even shared secrets with me.
End Flashback (temporarily)
Why did she tell me her secrets? I don't even remember half of them. I was ten. How was I supposed to understand?
Back to FlashbackWe raced to the house. We were coming back from school. It was a warm October day, perfect for racing. I was just about to beat Demitri when I tripped over something. I knew it had to be Demitri's foot. What other reason would it be doing in front of me? I swear, I could kill him.
"I beat you!" Demitri panted when he got to the front door. I got there a few moments later.
"I tripped! That's why you beat me!" I said.
"Maybe you're just slow!" Demitri said.
"Maybe you should keep your foot out of my way!" I said.
"Maybe you brats should shut up!" Gordon yelled from the family room. He was watching some MTV show.
Our argument ceased, but I did whisper to Demitri, "I'll beat you next time!"
I went upstairs while Demitri joined Gordon on the couch.
"Dana?" I said as I carefully opened the door to the room that Dana and I shared. I saw Dana sitting on her bed. Her back was towards me but I could still see the slits in her arm. She's bleeding.
"Are you okay? Why are you bleeding?" I said. Dana looked at me with a horrified face. She wasn't expecting me. I knew I had to help her.
"No, it's okay. Can you give me a few tissues?" I didn't listen to the "I'm okay" part.
"Should I get Ms. Coley?" I said desperately. Dana looked at me wide-eyed.
"Don't tell Ms. Coley, please!" I still wouldn't listen. The sight of blood made me insane.
"I'll go get Gordon. He can help," I said wondering why Dana didn't want me to tell anyone.
"No, don't say anything just give me…"
"You're bleeding! I need to get some kind of help! I'll go get someone…"
"SHUT UP! Don't tell anyone! Just give me the damn tissues!" Dana cried. Silence followed. I'd never heard Dana swear, at least not towards me.
I reached over to the Kleenex box and handed Dana a handful of tissues but I didn't think it would help clean up the blood. I watched her desperately try to rub the blood off. I heard her yelp a little in pain from the stinging. I couldn't do anything.
When Dana got the bleeding to stop, I asked, "What happened?"
Dana stared off into space. I couldn't tell if she was trying to figure out how to explain it or if she was trying to form some kind of lie.
"I cut myself," she said finally.
"By accident?" I asked.
"On purpose." What? I just stared at her like a dummy. Why would she do that to herself on purpose?
"Why?"
"It's complicated." Avril Lavigne's song, "Complicated," entered my mind uninvited. I must've seen too much bleeding.
End Flashback (for now)
I didn't really get what was going on at the time. I do now. But if I knew then, could I have helped her?
A/N: Is this getting to confusing? It'll clear up soon. I had to make this a little shorter than I wanted because I didn't want anyone to hurt his or her eyes by reading all of this on the computer. There's a part Two to this flashback and I'll post that up in the next chapter. I hope no one was confused by the breaks in the flashback. In the meantime, R&R.