*&$%&*
Sinning on Sunday
Written by: Justina aka rAiNwAtEr
Summary: Sasuke was well aware that he was surrounded by his fellow classmates while they listened to morning Mass. He was also aware of his growing hard-on as he stared at the blonde a few pews ahead of him.
Un-Beta'ed (sp?) lol
Song inspiration for chapter X:
"One more kiss could be the best thing
But one more lie could be the worst
And all these thoughts are never resting
And you're not something I deserve
In my head there's only you now
This world falls on me
In this world there's real and make believe
And this seems real to me…
I dream ahead to what I hope for
And I turn my back on loving you
How can this love be a good thing
When I know what I'm going' through…
And you love me but you don't"
3 Doors Down – Let Me Go
Chapter Ten: Let Me Go
*&$%&*
Sasuke never thought he could have sunk so low. He had locked himself in one of the stalls in the men's room. He put the lid down on the toilet so he could safely sit on his throne of loneliness. Anything was better than hearing Karin chase him around school asking him uncomfortable questions. Surely he could find a moments peace in his 4 X 6 self made prison.
"I know you're here fuck face!" Karin bellowed as she slammed open the door to the boy's bathroom.
'Maybe not…' Sasuke thought sarcastically.
Karin continued her rant, "Why the hell have you been avoiding Naruto for over a week? You should know by now how persistent I can be. I'll get the truth out of you one way or another buddy!"
Sasuke let out an audible sigh in dismay. Honestly, if he didn't have an image to up hold he would be pulling his hair out! "Are you aware Karin, that this is the men's bathroom? I always knew you were a tranny."
"Don't give me that Uchiha! What the hell do you think you're doing in here?" Karin roared out.
"What everyone does in a bathroom Karin," Sasuke's voice calmly stated; licking at Karin's ire.
"Bullshit! Answer the fucking question cum wad!" Karin's stormy voice demanded through the door of the stall he was occupying.
Sasuke contemplated on telling her that he couldn't come out until he was done passing a HUGE bowl movement, but he had a feeling the irate red head would knock the door down. So with another sigh of aggravation, he opened the door and nearly came face-to-face with Karin's fist.
He just barely managed to dodge the angry girl's fist. Karin couldn't pull back her momentum, causing her hand to go right through the plastic safety cover of the toilet paper.
"You jerk! Why the hell did you move?" Karin howled in pain.
Sasuke simply gave a raised eyebrow in response. He wasn't stupid; taken her punches straight on was suicide. He had seen braver men fall to the power that is Karin. Without a backwards glance to see if she was ok, he walked out of the bathroom leaving her behind. He hadn't of taken more than two steps before the red head had him pushed up against the wall in the corridor.
"I always knew you would one day snap and try to rape me," Sasuke said nonchalantly.
"Cut the shit," Karin's voice was steady and serious. Sasuke knew the jokes were over.
Before answering, Sasuke pushed the girl a little ways away from him to get some breathing room. For a moment their eyes locked as the two studied each other; trying to gage the seriousness of the situation.
Sasuke broke first, "History is repeating its self Karin."
Karin couldn't help but look away. She knew what he was referring to. Karin had wanted Sasuke so much it had turned into a searing NEED. It almost destroyed their friendship. She had had to paste up the hole in her heart with drywall, and concrete screws in order to save what they had treasured. At the time, Karin had felt like she was dying. She now understood what Sasuke was doing. He was trying to create some distance between Naruto and himself so as to bury his feelings behind a wall under lock and key. He didn't want his desires to destroy his friendship with the blond.
"I'm drowning Kar," Sasuke whispered.
At the use of her nickname –something rare – Karin looked back at Sasuke; the sight almost killing her. The raven's ever present bubble of charm, charisma, and over whelming confidence was gone. The spark that made Sasuke, SASUKE, was missing.
"I can't seem to find the surface. Hell, I don't even know if I want to. This feeling has taken all of me." Sasuke said with dead eyes.
"Fuck Sasuke," was the only response she could give before hugging the other boy to her. The hug was over before she knew it, not that she expected anything less, as Sasuke pushed her away. Nevertheless, it was sweet.
"It gets easier," Were her words of solace.
Sasuke simply nodded his head as the two began to walk down the hall towards third period. Although he had accepted her words, Sasuke doubted it would ever get easier. This thing with Naruto was eating him whole, and somewhere deep inside him he could hear himself whisper-
'Devour me'
*&$%&*
"'Mystery Meat' sounds delicious," Naruto said sarcastically as he followed Karin and Sasuke over to a seat in the crowded cafeteria. "Some of this shit should come with a warning."
"Yeah like 'Bio Hazard; eat at your own risk'," Karin supplied lifelessly as she collapsed into a chair beside Sasuke, and across from Naruto.
Sasuke simply glared at the mysterious blob on Naruto's plate before inspecting his own. He had for gone the 'Mystery Meat' in favor of a salad. By the looks of things, his lunch didn't seem any better. The lettuce was brown around the edges. The tomatoes were pruning, and the onions were a little on the soggy side. Everything seemed to be swimming in a sea of Italian salad dressing.
"Disgusting," was the raven's only response as he pushed his food off to the side.
The trio were surrounded by a sea of clatter and background noise as students poured in to subject themselves to a suicidal death induced by 'Cafeteria Food'. Karin had busied herself with trying to push a fork through the brown brick on her plate. Sasuke stared off to the side looking at nothing and yet everything.
Naruto stared at Sasuke from the corner of his eyes. Since last week, he could feel the raven haired boy drifting away from him. It was frustrating and maddening all at the same time. He had wanted to talk to the stubborn dick for over a week! Naruto knew that Sasuke was avoiding him, he just didn't know why. All he wanted to say was that he hadn't of taken what happen seriously. He knew Sasuke was just overly drunk and high. Naruto just wanted to put all of what happen behind them, and move on. He wanted things to be like how they used to be.
Something inside Naruto was rotting away at his very core. He couldn't say when Sasuke had become such a big part of his life. He guessed the other boy had always played some part. Whether it be an enemy or best friend, Sasuke has officially stamped his presences on Naruto's being. He was now his gravity; holding his world in place.
Before Naruto could open his mouth to tell Sasuke to stop ignoring him and being a dick; Deidara walked up to the table that they sat at.
"Sasuke we need to talk," Deidara said calmly. He was sick of the raven haired boy giving him the run around.
Naruto could practically growl with aggravation. 'Did this fuck face have to appear EVERYTIME he really needed to talk to Sasuke?'
Sasuke gave Deidara a quick glace before continuing to look off into space. He could care less what the blonde wanted. As far as he was concerned there was nothing left to say. The blonde's pursuit was becoming overly tiresome. His visits were becoming habits which needed to be nipped in the butt early.
Deidara's voice broke through Sasuke's inner musings. "I know you don't feel like I'm worth any of your time. If you listen to what I have to say, I won't bother you anymore."
At the promise of possibly never having to deal with Deidara anymore, Sasuke nodded his head in consent. This drama between them had dragged on far too long. Their relationship was like a bad TV drama which should have ran off air a long time ago.
Without waiting for Deidara to spout out anything more, Sasuke got up from his seat and walked towards the cafeteria exit. Without pausing in his step he led the blonde to the school's gym. Once inside, Sasuke took a seat on the wooden bleachers. He didn't let it escape his thoughts as to how ironic it was to have their last meeting where it had all began.
Deidara choose to stand before the raven haired boy; watching his face intensely. Everything about Sasuke demanded your attention. The way his elegantly long fingers dug into his back pocket for his pack of cigarettes; shimming out a cancer stick and bringing it to his ruby lips. He watched as Sasuke's thumb applied just the right amount of pressure to the wheel of his Bic lighter before rolling down and sparking a fire to light his cigarette.
"I love you," Deidara said suddenly. It surprised him how easily it came out. But there it was, lying bare for the other boy to see, and to pick it apart however he saw fit.
Sasuke took a drag from his cigarette as he stared intensely at Deidara. If the blonde had said that a few weeks ago he would have told him to go fuck himself. Now however, it wasn't so easy for him to brush other people's feelings off. Because now he knew how it felt to be completely devoured by passion. He now knew how hot the flames could be, and how sickeningly sweet it felt to be tortured by love.
"You know what my answer is," Sasuke said calmly as he exhaled and leaned back resting his elbows on the higher bench behind him.
"You could learn to want me," Deidara pleaded. His feelings for Sasuke had morphed into genuine emotions. He wanted the raven haired boy more than ever.
Sasuke took his time studying Deidara's desperate face. He wondered briefly, if that would be how he would look if he had confessed to Naruto. Would he seem just as desperate and needy? Although it would be easy to make fun of Deidara and how pointless his confession was, but could he ever have enough courage to put into words how he felt? In a sense, Sasuke could say that the blonde was braver then he ever would be.
"No matter how hard the wind howls at a mountain, it will never bow to it. You can't force something that was never there to begin with Deidara," Sasuke stated matter-of-factly.
Sorrow washed over Deidara's face before he grabbed Sasuke by the shoulders. "I'll make you want me!" He howled out in anguish as he smashed his lips roughly against Sasuke's. It only lasted for a second before Deidara was sent flying sideways and to the ground by a punch to his face.
*&$%&*
Naruto watched Sasuke and Deidara walk off towards the exit of the cafeteria. The only thing holding him in his seat was his surprise that Sasuke had willingly gone with the other blonde. Something within him had tightened at the thought of those two being alone together. Why couldn't Deidara say what he wanted here? Why the need to relocate?
"Don't worry about it; I'm sure Deidara isn't going to jump Sasuke again. I put the fear of God into him last time," Karin said trying to ease the tension building due to the raven haired boy's departure. Without a care for her surroundings she let out a loud burp. "That came from a deep dark place," Karin laughed out with pink dusting her cheeks.
The blonde ignored his friends –at times – hilarious banter as he stared at the door Sasuke and Deidara had passes through. Should he have stopped Sasuke? Should he go after him?
Karin sighed loudly as she pushed her food away from her. "If you're going to just sit there worrying about what those two are up to than just go. I'll be fine here on my own."
Naruto looked back a Karin to see if she truly didn't mind letting him leave. To his relief she seemed honestly ok. Not wanting to second guess her offer, Naruto grabbed his book bag and headed towards the exit of the cafeteria. He quickly made his way into the hallway dodging random students as he went. He walked until he came to a four way intersection in the corridor.
'Which way did Sasuke go?' Naruto thought briefly before scanning each corridor for clues. Down the right corridor he noticed the door to the gym was ajar. Following his gut instinct, he let his feet lead the way.
Upon pulling the door open, Naruto quickly scanned the dimly lit area for Sasuke. The sight before him sat his world on fire.
*&$%&*
"Get your fucking hand off of him!" Naruto howled out in anger as he punched Deidara in the face.
Deidara supported his body on his right elbow as he lay on the gym floor; his left hand cradling his check. He looked up at the enraged blonde in surprise. That surprise quickly washed away in a tide of anger as he rolled back onto his feet.
"This has nothing to fucking do with you," Deidara shouted out in a fiery rage.
"It has everything to do with me!" Naruto spat out. Sasuke was his best friend; of course it had something to do with him!
"I love him!" Deidara proclaimed in anger as if that alone meant Naruto had no right to claim exclusiveness on Sasuke.
"That's disgusting," Naruto yelled out caught up in the momentum. It was only after those two words had left his mouth that he realized how awful they had sounded.
Silence reined in the gymnasium. It bounced off of the rooms four walls and splashed upon their ear drums. And like a speck of dust, it settled down around them.
Sasuke felt the weight of his emotions crush him. Naruto's words ringing in his ears. The sol thought that Naruto felt the love between two males was disgusting; tore at his very soul. It forced him to the conclusion that Naruto must think he's disgusting. After all, whether the blonde knew it or not, he was inexplicably in love with him.
In this moment, Sasuke never hated himself more. Nor could he ever be more disgusted by his own feelings. He felt ashamed, and hollow.
"God Sasuke, I didn't mean it like that," Naruto's voice sounded weak under the pressure of silence. What had he done?
There were no words that could describe Sasuke's pain. Nor were there any antidotes to cure it. All his emotions jumbled in his head until he felt dizzy and sick to his stomach. He needed to get out of there. Without thinking, he got up and dashed for the exit of the gym.
"Fuck Sasuke, wait!" Naruto called out frantically to Sasuke. How could he have been so stupid!
Sasuke didn't look back as he bolted out of the door and took off through the school towards the exit. He needed to get the hell out of there.
Before Naruto could chase after Sasuke, Deidara grabbed him by the arm. "What do you want from him?"
Naruto shook Deidara's hand off of him before staring questioningly at the other boy. "What the hell is that suppose to mean? I don't want anything from him!"
Deidara could only shake his head at Naruto's ignorance. "What if Sasuke wants something from you?"
"I would give him anything," Naruto responded quickly. Sasuke was a dare friend to him, why wouldn't he try to make Sasuke happy?
"If you're not prepared to give him what he needs, than help him let you go!" Deidara howled in anger. Couldn't the blonde see what was right in front of him? It was plain as day that Sasuke loved Naruto more than just a plutonic sense.
"What the fuck are you talking about? You're not making any sense!" Naruto shouted angrily. What the fuck was going on? What was everyone seeing that he couldn't?
"Do you love Sasuke?" Deidara asked plainly.
Naruto searched for an answer inside himself. Of course he loved the other boy, they were best friends! How couldn't he love a person that was a big part of his life? The thought only was preposterous.
Seeing the confusion on Naruto's face, Deidara continued "There may come a time when you'll have to choose just how much you love Sasuke verses what is best for him."
Naruto didn't have time to listen to Deidara's nonsense he needed to find Sasuke. He ran for the door and out into the corridor. 'Fuck! Where did you go Sasuke?'
All thoughts had fled Naruto as he ran towards the exit of the school. Something told him Sasuke was headed for his car. With speed that could have put a wide receiver to shame, Naruto burst out of the back doors leading outside. Rain from the heavens poured upon him as he ran blindly towards the student parking lot. The water pelting the earth was thick and unrelenting. In an instant his cloths were soaked, but none of that mattered. All that he cared about was finding Sasuke.
In the distance he spotted a dark silhouette jogging to the far side of the parking lot. Ignoring the searing pain spreading through his thighs, Naruto picked up his pace. He couldn't let Sasuke get away. Every fiber of his body told him he would regret it for the rest of his life.
"SASUKE!" Naruto called out to the figure repeatedly as he gained ground. The rain was clouding his vision.
He barreled into the figure pushing him up against the side of a car. Although equally soaked to the bone, Naruto could tell immediately that this was Sasuke. A small part of him rejoiced at not allowing the other boy to get away.
"FOR FUCK SAKE I DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE THAT!" Naruto screamed above the roar of the pouring rain; all the while pushing Sasuke more firmly against the car and himself. "I could never see you as disgusting Sasuke, NEVER!"
Sasuke could only stare at the soaked blonde before him. His heart lurched into his throat, while cannibalistic butterflies ate at his gut. What he wouldn't give to press his lips against those pouty lips. To taste the forbidden fruit dangled before him.
"I want you," Sasuke's voice rang out cutting through the rain. He couldn't fight it. The words had bubbled up from his throat and had forced their way out from between his pursed lips.
"What?" Naruto asked, sure he had heard wrong over the pouring rain. Before Sasuke could respond he opened the car door and pushed them both inside. The slam of the door greeted the two as they sat in the front seat safe from the unforgiving rain.
"You asked me once, if I liked you," Sasuke said as he stared out of the window shield at the torrents of rain. "Do you remember?"
Naruto thought back to the time when they first had hung out as friends in the mall. He had asked if Sasuke had romantic feelings for him. Sasuke had said he didn't. "Yeah, I remember."
Sasuke nodded his head as he watched the rain hypnotized. "I lied," he whispered under the sound of pelting rain.
"What did you say," Naruto asked as he scooted closer. It was hard to hear over the storm outside.
Sasuke shook his head at his foolishness. What had he been thinking? He was an idiot to think Naruto could love him more than he already did. He was greedy to hope for more. "Nothing, I'm cold. Let's get the fuck out of here," He said instead as he handed his car keys over to the blond. He just wanted to get home and take a hot shower.
The ride towards Sasuke's house was somber. Neither could pin point where the awkwardness began and ended. The freezing rain eventually stopped its insistent patter leaving behind soaked earth and disintegrated leaves. Most of the remaining residue would probably freeze over through the cold night.
The ride home, which had at first seemed to go on forever, was over. It had ended too fast. Words wouldn't come to either of them. What could someone say in the face of whirling emotions?
Naruto parked Sasuke's car in front of his house, unsure on what to say but knowing silence wasn't an option. He could feel that something more needed to be said. "Sasuke, whatever is wrong between us, I want to fix it. You're too important to me to let us stay broken like this. Please, tell me what I have to do to make this right."
Sasuke let Naruto's words wash over him. God he was a mess. This whole situation had spiraled out of control. He didn't know what to do anymore. There was no cookie cutter recipe for making Naruto miraculously like boys. He either did, or didn't. No matter how he looked at the equation, he was left with the same answer.
"Naruto couldn't love him."
"We are going to be just fine Naruto, nothing has changed." Sasuke voice was calm as he looked down at his hand positioned on the door handle.
Naruto studied Sasuke's profile, trying to gage his sincerity. "Friends still?" He asked uncertainly.
Sasuke felt Naruto's words rip out his heart. "Yeah friends," he forced out.
The blond could only nod his head as he handed Sasuke his keys. Both boys got out of the car. Without words, Sasuke walked up his drive way towards his front door. Naruto's words stopping him.
"You mean the world to me Sasuke." Naruto's voice was genuine. "I hope you know that."
Sasuke could only nod his head back towards Naruto as he watched the boy walk down the street towards his own home. A lump had lodged its self in Sasuke's throat. Words couldn't seem to bubble above it. He felt mute, and perhaps that was for the best. Who knew what his traitorous mouth would spew, or what dark secrete it would reveal. He was enough pain as is; he didn't need to add to that misery.
As painful as it was, the raven haired boy pulled his eyes away from Naruto's retreating back and let himself inside his home. He closed the door heavily behind him and locked it. His mother wasn't due to be home for a while. With a sagging heart and aching soul, he made his way up to his bedroom. After shutting himself inside his room he collapsed onto his bed with a sigh.
"My life just keeps getting better and better," He whispered to no one but himself.
Sasuke's head rolled to the side, his eyes landing on his nightstand. Upon it, next to his lamp, sat a crinkled piece of paper. Immediately he knew what it was. He had thrown Gaara's number there.
"Distraction…huh," Sasuke thought silently.
Rolling over to his side he picked up the piece of parchment, and grabbed his cell phone from his damp pocket. Hesitating for only a moment, he quickly dialed the number from the paper. He waited patiently for the line to pick up.
"Hello? Gaara speaking," A velvety voice sounded over the line.
Sasuke took a deep breath before replying, "It's Sasuke."
"I hoped you would call," Gaara said with a hidden smile in his voice. He was intrigued by the other boy. There was just something about Uchiha that kept him enthralled. His presence was like drinking too much alcohol. You know it's bad for you, but you can't get enough of it anyways.
"How do you know me?" Sasuke asked again. He would have remembered seeing someone like Gaara.
"I told you already snookems," Gaara answered. The sound of him pouring a glass of water could be heard over the line.
Sasuke decided to change his tactics, "What do you want from me?"
"What can I have?" Gaara asked back.
A silence greeted the two parties over the line. The war of wills was building palpable tension. Gaara was the first to break it.
"I want everything, and yet nothing from you. I could take or give, be your Ying to me Yang," Gaara said cryptically before continuing. "But first, I want your friendship."
Sasuke thought the other boy's words over. He couldn't deny that the red head was interesting. He could be exactly what he needed right now; something to occupy him besides his wonton lust for Naruto. Gaara was offering him nothing more than he was willing to take. It seemed fair to him. There need not be any red tape.
"You'll have to earn my friendship," was all Sasuke could say. After all, he wasn't going to leap into the frying pan without knowing the ingredients.
Gaara let out a surprisingly light chuckle before replying, "Tomorrow, after school. I'll make you remember how to have fun."
Sasuke didn't get a chance to question Gaara's odd statement before the line went dead. He gave his phone a queer look before saving the red heads number to his phone. Tomorrow didn't seem so gloomy any longer.
TBC
Authors Note:
Hello everyone! Just thought I let you guys in on some stuff so as not to confuse anyone. Below are some Q&A's expressed by some of you viewers.
Q: What the hell pairing is this?
A: Puffs cheeks out huffily, Naruto and Sasuke of course! How dare you suggest anything other! BLASHPEMY!
Q: Why the hell hasn't Sasuke and Naruto had sex yet? I WANT THEM TO #$% NOW!
A: This is not a PWP. If you want a piece of instant gratification fanfic, you're reading the wrong story. I will not be little my characters by having them act outside of the bounds and limitations I have set for them. The story has a plot (Of which I have no idea what it is, but it has one God damn it!) and I will not deviant from the path!
Q: Why the hell are you adding people into the story that are possible hook ups for Sasuke? Are you demented?
A: No, contrary to what my doctors say I am not insane or demented. I am however, interested in seeing how I can change and incorporate other Naruto characters into my story. Gaara and Deidara are just catalyst to get Naruto to realize that he is in love with Sasuke; Nothing more, nothing less.
REVIEW GODDAMIT! Tee-Hee