"House, what the hell did you tell the police about me?" Wilson asked, barging into the office. House was throwing a tennis ball up into the air.

"That you look at me longingly. But who wouldn't--I'm strangely attractive."

Wilson shook his head. "Never mind. How's Spider-Man doing?"

House pointed his cane at the tree doctors headed towards his office. "We'll know in three...two...one..." The team entered, Taub carrying a clipboard. They stood in a straight line and Taub cleared his throat. "We treated for the silica and benzene, and the banana oil isn't causing his nervous system to malfunction. We're back in square one."

"No, we're not. We still have a few other chemicals to work with here. Since when do you guys give up so easy?" House looked out his office's glass windows to see Cameron walking by. House abruptly left, calling her name. She didn't stop until House nearly tripped her with his cane. "What were you doing with my patient?"

"Spider-Man?"

"No, Batman," House said sarcastically.

She shrugged. "I was curious."

"You could have ruined everything by going to see him. Blown our cover."

"The cover you lied about to the police, you mean?" Cameron asked.

"How do you know that?"

She simply smiled and entered the elevator. House jumped in as the doors began to close, and they were soon the only two inside. "How did you know?"

"People talk. It's no big deal."

The elevator doors opened to the first floor. Both stood there, shocked.

The front lobby was in a frenzy. Lights were flashing, cameras were filming, reporters had their microphones pointed at anyone they could find. The police were the only thing holding them back from searching the hospital. "People talk," House repeated at Cameron. He limped his way over to the crowd and shushed them. Loudly, he said, "I'm Dr. House. I am Spider-Man's doctor. Or, unless you're all pathetically desperate to film someone else?"

There was an uproar of questions. House actually felt bad for the superstars that had to deal with these people regularly. But he knew most of them deserved it, so the sympathy didn't last at all. It never surfaced, really. It was more like thinking about possibly thinking of feeling something that, when masked, may slightly resemble pity.

"Shut up, shut up, shut up! Jeez! Don't you people have lives to get back to? No one is going to give you any information, so leave. Go!" He held up his cane in a threatening manner. "I've got a long stick I'm not afraid to use it!" The reporters, of course, did not move. "Damn. The cane threat normally works," he said to a police officer. House turned to leave, sick of the hungry reporters.

"Dr. House! What is causing Spider-Man's illness?" a reporter shouted out.

He turned around and smirked. "Banana oil," he said harshly.

"Can I quote you on that?"

"If you want to quote my sarcastic, mocking and obviously incorrect answers to your stupid questions then sure, go ahead and quote me." Having enough of the craziness, House entered the elevator again. It was then that he realized he had completely lost Cameron.

House took the elevator to the floor that held his office. Before he got out he was sure to press all the buttons, lighting them all up as he exited. He found that his team was not in the office, but actually doing their jobs. House got out his guitar and, to amuse himself, starting to try and figure out the Spider-Man theme song. He had managed the "Spider-Man, Spider-Man! Does whatever a spider can!" verse when someone knocked on his door. It was a girl, her face stained with bleeding mascara. She was shaking as she entered, holding a hat in her hands. "D-doctor House?"

"Who are you?"

"Where...is S-Spider-M-M-Man oka-a-ay?" Her voice was trembling out of her throat.

"Again, who are you?"

"P-please? I-I need to know."

"Are you related to him?"

At first she did not know how to respond. She was quiet, but then nodded. It was obvious by her delay to reply that she was lying. "Your acting lessons paid off, kid," House said. "But I'm not telling you anything. Doctor-patient confidentiality. It's a bitch, huh?"

The girl did not take the news well. She busted out in tears, shaking even more. She stood there awkwardly, and House simply stared. Once she left he watched where she had once been standing. "What the hell was that about...?" he wondered aloud. But then his team came back into the room, and it was time to fix a superhero.

A/N: Sorry, I know it is slow! I'm trying here!