Thank you all SO much for all the reviews and messages from the last two chapters! It means the world to me! I hope you guys are enjoying the story, please let me know what you think! Again, disclaimer, I don't own anything but I wish I did ;)
Ten minutes.
That's how long it takes to get from Tric to Brooke and I's old house. Ten minutes.
I never knew perfection til
I heard you speak, and now it kills me
Just to hear you say the simple things
Now waking up is hard to do
And sleeping is impossible too
Everything is reminding me of you
What can I do?
We had rushed inside Tric to grab Nathan and Haley, unfortunately Lucas wanted to come along too and piled in Haley's Range Rover heading for the house. We were the core five again in this moment of panic, this family unit linked together by the fear of something terrible within our circle. Unity had brought us back together.
Ten minutes can change your whole world.
"The police are on their way there, I'm sure we will get there before they do though. How you holding up back there?" Nate said as he looked through the rearview mirror back at us, tears streaming down all of our faces as he sped through the back streets of Tree Hill.
"She's not answering her phone…" I looked over to Brooke as she had said the words quietly, almost in a whisper and clutched onto my hand for dear life. In this moment, I couldn't help but want her close to me again and clutch to her as well. "I keep calling…and she's not answering the phone…" My heart was breaking for her, and I couldn't help but hold out hope that maybe everything was going to be okay, somehow.
"Hey, look at me…" I shook her hand forcing her to look up at me. "We are almost to the house, everything is going to be okay, alright? We won't let anything happen."
"You can't promise that, Peyt." She was so broken, I grabbed her chin to look up into my eyes.
"I can sure as hell promise that I'd die before I let anything happen to Sam or Jamie, you got that?"
The only response I received was a nod as we pulled into my old neighborhood, Nathan slamming on the gas. We flew so fast into the driveway I don't even think Nathan was in park when he got out. We were all running for the front door.
"Stay behind me and Lucas, I mean it!" He called out taking the keys from Brooke approaching the front door as we could still hear the alarm blaring from inside. I was trying to mentally prepare myself for whatever would be behind that door, but I promised myself that I'd be strong for Haley and Nathan, and for Brooke. No matter what it was. She may've ripped my heart and trampled on it, but this could be unfixable. The two guys bolted through the front door after finally getting it unlocked.
"JAMIE! SAM!" He echoed through the house as we bolted behind him. It felt weirdly still and I could see Haley and Brooke breaking, they'd already been through so much, going through something like this too, I just don't think either of them could handle it.
That moment of silence felt like the longest moment of my life. Brooke's eyes caught mine, her hand still hadn't let mine go, I think just out of fear of the worst. How many minutes had gone by? Lucas and Nathan were still storming the house, Lucas taking the stairs two at a time.
"Dad! We're out here…" That's when I noticed it, the back door. It was open. Open. The one that led to the ocean where Brooke and I used to sit and drink wine and talk about the day. My feet stormed through to the door upon reflex not caring about any consequence about what lay ahead. I had to get to Sam and Jamie…..
"Wait…what the hell is this?" I said out of breath glancing at Sam who was fiddling with the alarm and Jamie who was…. Petting a dog? The others finally caught up with me at the door. Haley rushed to Jamie, kissing every inch of his face she could her lips on.
"I'm so sorry guys..." Sam said walking over and hugging me for dear life, "Ms. Brown's dog escaped again and tripped our alarm. It happens all the time, remember Peyt?"
"Uhhh… yeah… I remember."
"Well, I can't get the damn thing to turn off… we are okay guys…" She looked so apologetic.
"Why didn't you call us Sam, we've been worried sick…" Brooke said.
"My phone is completely dead, and you guys won't give little J Man a cell phone… I'm so sorry, I don't know what else to say, we are both okay. Nothing happened." Sam turned to Brooke and Brooke clutched to Sam for dear life, tears streaming down her face.
"We were all just really worried something bad happened. And none of us would've been able to deal with that." Lucas finally added.
It's not right, not OK
Say the words that you say
Maybe we're better off this way?
I'm not fine, I'm in pain
It's harder everyday
Maybe we're better off this way?
It's better that we break…
Talk about emotionally relief. Wow. But emotionally draining as well. We finally heard the sirens in the background approaching. Thank God nothing actually is wrong with as long as it's taken them to get here.
"Alright Jamie, it's way past your bed time, and you've had a very exciting night with almost giving your parents a heart attack, let's go buddy." Haley said as Nathan collected a sleepy Jamie in his arms.
"Not fair...I'm not even tired…"
"Yeah, you don't look tired at all buddy." Brooke giggled to him as she patted his back, finally starting to calm down but still a bit on edge.
"You coming with us Aunt Peyt?" Jamie said through a yawn.
"Yeah buddy, your daddy can drop me off at the hotel if that's okay, Nate?"
"No problem Sawyer." We were heading out the front door and I turned to say bye to Sam, but something was off about her eyes, she looked afraid almost.
"Can you stay here tonight…? Please?" Sam said grabbing one of my hands pulling me back into Brooke's house. My former house. My safe place.
"I don't know Sam… I don't think it's a good idea… "
"Please… I need you to stay… I'm scared…" God….What the hell? I know how much this is taking out of Sam, like I said. She doesn't do this vulnerability thing, ever. But how could I stay? Not when things were so shaky with Brooke and I… and what the hell happened back at Tric? My head was spinning with all these thoughts.
"If Sam wants you to stay Peyton, you can… it's no problem. We can drive you back to the hotel in the morning." Brooke had finally chimed in from the kitchen and as our eyes met, I knew I would be staying tonight, if only to be close to her again. I looked over to Nate who was still standing in the doorway, the others had gone out to the car.
"Nate, I'm gonna stay here tonight to ease Sam's mind. You guys go ahead." He looked to me with a nod.
"Alright Sawyer, but you call me, any of you if any of you need me, at any time. I don't care what time it is. You guys are family. Got it?"
We all responded simultaneously, "Got it." And with that Nathan was out the door.
"So….guess I'm staying…" Brooke and I's eyes met, and for the first time tonight I couldn't read what she was thinking. I don't know if she wants me here or not, but she said it was okay for Sam… I turned to Sam who was still clutched in my arms, shaking, "You should get some sleep… it's been a long day."
"You're right. I appreciate you staying. I need you here Peyton. More than you know…"
"Hey now, it was a false alarm, alright? I told Brooke tonight. I promise I won't let anything happen to you. Or to Brooke. Or to Jamie. I promise…. I promise. If it's anything in my power, I promise okay? And I'm not going anywhere, stop worrying so much." I said to her as I shook her hands in mine and Brooke stood on watching us rooted to her spot in the kitchen.
"You can't promise that… but you being here does make me feel a little bit better, safer somehow… Doesn't it, Brooke?" I'm surprised by that notion and turn to look at her again.
"It does… It's been a long day Sam, and you scared the hell out of us. Why don't you get some sleep. Peyton will be here when you get up, alright?" Again, with the unreadable expression in her eyes, really?
She whispered out a barely audible, "Alright… Goodnight" She finally released my hand as I kissed her forehead and hugged her tight, she went over to Brooke who did the same and went to her bedroom and closed the door, my eyes glued to the door afraid to get into conversation with Brooke after our night.
"Sooo… uhhhh… guess you're staying huh?"
"I can catch a cab and be back before she wakes up, it's no problem."
"Don't be silly. Here, I'll grab you a blanket and take you up to your room."
"My room?"
"Yeah…" She said as we walked up the stairs of the familiar house to my old bedroom. Once Sam came into our lives, she took my room on the first floor so Brooke could watch over her better as she was a bit of a rebel in the beginning and I moved to the upstairs bedroom, Brooke would often sneak into my bedroom though. She opened the door and I was totally not expecting what I saw…
"Oh my god… I… Wow…." Brooke must've been following my train of thought as my eyes scanned the dimly lit room. Everything was exactly in it's place as I had left it almost two years ago. All my records still lined against the wall, the pictures, the drawings, everything. Nothing had been moved. When I left, I had left in such a hurry with the focus of mainly just getting out of there, away from her, that I only grabbed the essentials, my clothes and makeup, my favorite picture of Brooke and I, and one of me and Sam. Other than that, I had left everything.
"You didn't think I'd actually move your stuff, did you? Especially your albums, I know how possessive and weird you are about those…"
"Brooke…. I can't believe you didn't remodel this room after all this time." I was truly amazed… and on the other hand… what did it mean? I opened my mouth to continue, but I was speechless. Completely. I noticed Brooke looking at the floor.
"It was always your room, Peyton… Well, here's your blanket. Thanks for staying… you know… for Sam."
"Right… For Sam…" I could feel it again, that heat when we looked at each other. It would always be there I think. We hadn't talked about what happened earlier, and honestly, I was still so broken from the way things had been from before that I knew I couldn't do this with her, so I made a tough decision… "Goodnight, Brooke."
"Night, Peyton…" She said exiting my old room and shutting the door as I fell against it. God, what did all of this mean?
A fool to let you slip away
I chase you just to hear you say
You're scared and that you think that I'm insane
The city looks so nice from here
Pity I can't see it clearly
While you're standing there, it disappears
It disappears
It was now 3:09 a.m. and I've been in bed for hours now. Tossing. Turning. Counting sheep. Everything. Nothing has worked. It's storming outside again, lord knows I love storms. I bet Brooke was up though, considering how much she hated them. It was always nights like this we would curl up under the covers in our own world. Being in this room, this house, this bed. It's all too much. I'm secretly cursing Mia for blaring all these Maroon 5 songs lately as she's getting ready for the tour which is making me lonelier as I hum the tune aloud in my head. These sheets all smell of Brooke and I just can't take it anymore so I throw the covers off me and I'm pacing the floors. Why did I agree to stay here? Why did I care about Sam so much? I quietly made my way downstairs, thinking that if I went to sit outside on the deck with the rain for a little while it might calm my fraying nerves. Brooke Davis kissed me tonight. And it was electric, just like it always had been. I found myself asking the same question, what did it all mean? What if this hadn't been a false alarm tonight… what if, what if, what if… I'm suddenly jolted from my thoughts, not realizing I'm twirling the necklace around my fingers again as I'm pacing the deck outside in the storm, from a voice behind me and the screen door shutting.
"Hey, I figured you were up too… You know I never did like storms. What's the song you keep singing?" I hadn't realized I was being so loud, I was just trying to get all the thoughts in my head to just stop for a minute.
It's not right, not OK
Say the word it should say
Maybe we're better off this way?
I'm not fine, I'm in pain
It's harder everyday
Maybe we're better off this way?
It's better that we break
"It's nice that you got this screened in…" I replied avoiding her stare and her question.
"Yeah…" She said, defeated, as she sat down in one of the chairs facing the water, even with the rain, it was always a beautiful view that I missed dearly when I was in L.A. She finally continued "I couldn't really sleep… I keep thinking about tonight…"
"Yeah… Me too… What if it wasn't a false alarm, you know? I just can't even wrap my head around it…" I said as I finally sat down in the chair opposite of hers.
"I meant about everything tonight… I don't know what happened… I just I've missed you Peyton and it was just… impulse." Impulse. Reaction. Great. Brooke Davis, not thinking once again. Using her head, not her heart.
Saw you sitting all alone
You're fragile and you're cold, but that's all right
Life these days is getting rough
They've knocked you down and beat you up
But it's just a rollercoaster anyway, yeah
"Impulse… great." I scoffed at her. "You know what Brooke you're right, it was a mistake. So try not to make them anymore and play with my heart any more than you already have. You've already shattered it. Why lead me to believe you actually still had feelings?" I yelled back at her harshly standing up from the chair and running my hands through my hair. Who the hell did she think she was?
"Whoa Peyt… hold on a minute, I didn't say..."
"No Brooke, you didn't need to say anything. I know you, or have you forgotten?"
"Would you knock it off Peyton!" She said as she got closer to me, so close we were exchanging breath, as we stood in a verbal standoff. "I said no such thing, stop putting words in my mouth, for God's sake Peyton! I felt more alive tonight, with you, than I have since the day you left, and I know you felt it too, so stop pushing me away. Stop pushing me. I will always feel it. It will always be there…"
We stood for a minute, close together just staring at each other, neither daring to make the next move, nor to say anything.
It's not right, not OK
Say the words that you say
Maybe we're better off this way?
I'm not fine, I'm in pain
It's harder everyday
Maybe we're better off this way?
"How could I not push you away Brooke, seriously? What do you expect? You… Broke…. Me." The tears welling in my eyes and I could see them brimming in her eyes as well. "Every day… it just gets harder and harder without you… Every day it's just pain in my heart. I hate being so disconnected…"
She grabbed my hand, and tugged a piece of hair behind my ears as the tears were falling freely from her eyes now, "Trust me, I get it. I do. I live the same hell everyday…"
Again, we stood there staring at each other as the tears were streaming down her face. It was strangely beautiful to see. It showed that she truly did care. In one swift motion, I saw the lust in her eyes and felt my back connect with the side of the house as she pushed me against it feverishly. "I need you, Peyt… I always do." Her lips were connecting with my neck, kissing any part of skin she could reach. I was reminded of what heaven was, and was again asking myself of how I had stayed away from this beautiful woman that I loved so much for so long… but then my head caught up with my heart.
"Stop, Brooke, stop." I said gently tugging her away from me, trying to shake off my arousal. "You can't just do that to me and expect everything to be better. It's not. I'm done with this….Seriously." I knew I had to walk away, I never would if I didn't right now. "Goodnight, Brooke."
"Peyton… We really need to talk about what happened before you left… We need to talk about it. Please…" She kept bringing this up, what did she want to talk about? Her eyes were pleading with me as she desperately grabbed ahold of my hips and clutched my shirt in her hands. She looked lost almost.
"As soon as Sam wakes up tomorrow, please take me back to the hotel…" I struggled out of her grasp and made my way back to my old room, tears streaming down my face as I'd left Brooke standing alone on the porch.
I laid in bed, no more tears capable of falling, and hummed the same line of the song to myself until the finally fell into a light sleep, "Maybe we're better off this way?"
I'm not fine, not OK
Say the words that you say
Maybe we're better off this way?
I'm not fine, I'm in pain
It's harder everyday
Maybe we're better off this way?
It's better that we break, baby
Read and review, pretty pretty please :) Oh- The song is by Maroon 5, "Better That We Break" obviously, it's a pretty good if you haven't heard it and it seemed pretty fitting to the chapter...