Kate sat with her feet up reading as the late afternoon sun slanted through the large kitchen window. This whole part of the house from the kitchen through the dining area to Caroline's study at the back was her favourite, it was so resonant of Caroline that Kate could spend hours here revelling in all that was Caroline Elliot, glorying in the essence of the woman she loved.

Kate was now only teaching in the mornings having started part time working that week as a prelude to her full maternity leave. She shook her head thinking of how Caroline had tried to push her into starting her maternity leave early but Kate had been adamant that she wanted to work as close to her due date as possible. The debate had caused some tension between the two women and Kate knew that had made Caroline very nervous but she wouldn't back down, she had to show Caroline as gently as possible that this was the kind of decision they should be making together.

Kate knew that Caroline's concern sprang from love and she had to admit that having someone who cared for her in that way was wonderful, it made her feel truly secure for the first time in years.

Truth to tell though, the first few weeks of term had been tough on Kate as the reality of being pregnant in her early forties really began to hit home. She was immeasurably glad that she had always kept herself fit.

'God only knows' she often thought 'how I would have managed if I'd been out of shape'.

So, driven on by a combination of Caroline's increasing anxiety and her own increasing weariness they had agreed on a compromise of reduced working hours for the last few weeks of her pregnancy.

She had done some marking when she first got home and had then prepared their evening meal so that now the house was pervaded by the delicate aroma of a lamb tagine just ticking over in the oven, couscous and salad could be added very quickly when they were ready to eat. She knew that these activities would earn her a stern look from her love but she couldn't just sit at home doing nothing every afternoon, she would go stir crazy!

'Having said that' she thought 'it really is very pleasant here in the warmth of the sun'

Kate's eyes slowly closed and her book slid gently from relaxed hands as she drifted into sleep thinking of Caroline and those new shoes she had been wearing this morning and how they showed off her legs to their very best advantage.

x

Kate didn't stir as Caroline and Lawrence piled into the house the sound of their arrival being largely muffled by the kitchen door. She was subconsciously aware of the sound of Caroline's heals as they approached along the hallway but this somehow became part of the dream she was having about their early days, the time when she used lie in wait hoping to catch sight of her headmistress strutting along the corridors of Sulgrave Heath.

Entering the kitchen Caroline realized immediately that Kate had not been resting all afternoon, something smelt wonderful.

Groaning inwardly at the thought of another discussion with Kate about her doing too much she was relieved to see that she did at least have her feet up and, as she hadn't acknowledged their arrival, Caroline had hopes that she may even be asleep.

Placing a finger over her lips to silence Lawrence while nodding towards Kate, Caroline slowed her approach so as not to make too much noise and startle Kate into wakefulness as she moved towards her.

Looking down tenderly at Kate as she slept Caroline gave thanks for at least the millionth time since Christmas Eve that this woman had seen fit to give her a second chance. Then, leaning forward she gently stroked Kate's cheek

'Kate sweetheart'

Waking from her very enjoyable dream to the reality of the glorious blonde in such close proximity Kate reached out her hand and ran it up the back of Caroline's leg muttering on what seemed like and extended moan

'Dr Elliot, soo sexy'

Caroline uttered a strangled yelp of surprise and hurriedly grabbed Kate's wrist to stop the advance of her hand. Realizing Lawrence was watching this in what she imagined to be horrified silence Caroline blushed profusely and looked round attempting an apologetic smile. To her great relief she recognized a look of amusement on her son's face rather than the bored, petulant horror that had been there last summer whenever he had any dealings with Kate.

Turning back to the sleepy woman Caroline stroked her face again.

'Wake up Kate, Lawrence and I are home' she said firmly trying to ensure nothing even more embarrassing emanated from Kate before she came fully awake.

Shaking his head in amusement Lawrence turned his attention to his first love, the fridge, and started to rummage for something to snack on while he waited for dinner.

Kate, still a little groggy swung her legs off the sofa as Caroline sat down beside her and took her hand. After planting a chaste kiss on Kate's lips Caroline whispered

'That was lovely if a little surprising, but 'pas devant les enfant' – hmmm?'

'Oh Caroline, your French accents is really appalling' giggled Kate as she returned the kiss 'you need to surrender yourself into the hands of a skilled French teacher.'

'Kate! Remember Lawrence, please.'

'Mmm, OK – sorry I'm awake now, but it was a lovely dream, can I tell you about it later' she murmured with a cheeky grin and just loud enough so that only Caroline could hear.

'Dinner smells fabulous' said Caroline attempting to change the subject once and for all 'but are you sure you got enough rest this afternoon?'

A warning flash of annoyance flitted across Kate's face

'Absolutely Caroline, remember I'm a big girl now'

'OK, OK, I'll go and get changed. Lawrence half of that amount please or you'll not be hungry for dinner, also homework now, before we eat, so there are no arguments afterwards.'

x

Watching with awe as Lawrence consumed the last of his enormous portion of the tagine both women smiled at each other enjoying the simple pleasure of being together in a family setting without any drama.

Sitting back at last Lawrence blew out his cheeks

'That was fantastic Kate, thanks'

'Don't mention it, it's nice to have time to make a more substantial evening meal for you and your Mum. Also, if you look in the cake tin you may find I had time to make a small treat as well.'

Turning quickly to Caroline sensing she was inhaling sharply and about to deliver a lecture

'And before you start' she said sternly 'I am pregnant not unwell, I didn't over do anything and I thoroughly enjoyed myself.'

Caroline closed her mouth with an almost audible snap looking suitably chastised.

Lawrence grinned at the look on his mother's face, his Dad had never got away with telling her off like that but then he had never seen his Dad look at his Mum in the way Kate did which seemed to soften the impact of her words.

Rising he grabbed the cake tin from the cupboard and smiled brilliantly at Kate as he saw what was inside.

'Thanks Kate, my favourite.'

'Cupboard love' mumbled Caroline feeling as if he and Kate were ganging up on her, Lawrence however was completely oblivious to this as he munched happily on a chocolate cup cake.

'Right my love through to the lounge please, feet up and relax while Lawrence and I clear and no arguments, it's only fair, the cook never does the washing up.'

'Well I've seen you break that rule plenty of time but you know, I think I'll take you up on your offer, don't be too long though or you might have to wake me again' said Kate smiling.

Caroline had always appreciated the way Kate tidied as she cooked so she and Lawrence were able to make short work of clearing the table and stacking the last items in the dishwasher. It really took no effort and was so different from clearing up after John who left a kitchen looking like a full scale food fight had taken place whenever he cooked.

'Ma'

'Mhmm'

'Can I ask you something?'

Caroline heard the note of seriousness in his voice and thought she could also detect a slight tremor of nervousness; she had always tried to give the boys her undivided attention when the need arose and sensing this might be one of those times she stopped flitting about the kitchen and turned to look at her younger son.

'What's going to happen about Gran, about you and Gran I mean?'

Caroline suddenly realised she really should have anticipated this question and had an answer prepared. That she had not was a very clear indication of how painful she was finding this rift with her mother, so painful in fact that she was purposely not thinking about the situation at all.

Caroline saw the very real concern in her son's eyes and wanted to honour his question with as honest an answer as she could but truthfully she didn't know what that answer was.

'I wish I knew Lawrence but I've hardly seen your Gran recently, she and Alan went back to stay with Gillian soon after we went back to school and I've had no direct contact since then. I do speak to Gillian fairly regularly so I know she is well but…' Caroline tailed off.

'What do you want to happen?'

Caroline placed her hand on Lawrence's back and rubbed gentle circles while considering her words.

'Well fairly obviously I'd like to be as close to your Gran as I used to be but more than that I want an open and honest relationship. I can see now that what we had before had no basis in reality, it was actually based entirely on pretence, I pretended I wasn't gay and your Gran pretended I had never told her I was. That alone leaves an awful lot to be sorted out between us but when you add in how cruel your Gran was to Kate, well… then our being close again may never be possible.'

'But you do want to be Ma don't you because if not then I would be sacred that you could be the same with William and me, what if we get something wrong, would you have given up on me if I hadn't tried to accept Kate?'

Caroline felt as if a knife had pierced her heart as she saw the fear in her son's eyes.

'God! No, absolutely not, no, no, no. Never, you must never ever think that. There is absolutely nothing you or William could do that I couldn't forgive, I love you both absolutely and unconditionally, you must believe that.'

'Then why not Gran as well?'

'But Lawrence I'm not the one shutting the door between us. I said where we went from here was up to your Gran, I am willing to try, I do want us all to be a family again but I don't know if she can ever accept the real me. I can't go back Lawrence, I told your Gran once I was too old to pretend anymore and I this time I mean it.'

'You know how stubborn Gran is Ma, she won't make the first move, maybe you should give it one more try.'

'Has your Gran been in touch with you?' asked Caroline trying not to sound too suspicious but if her mother was trying to manipulate Lawrence she would be furious.

'No, I haven't spoken to her since she went back to Halifax either. I just…it's just I remember when Alan had his heart attack, after Gran and he fell out, and Gran saying how she couldn't have lived with knowing he had died before they had chance to make up and well….Gran is 76.'

Caroline stared at her son, she had recognised that since Christmas he had been trying to put aside the petulant teenager but she had completely missed the occasional glimpses of the young man that she now saw in front of her.

'Is that what you want Lawrence, for me to try again?'

He nodded and then grumbled furiously as his mother pulled him into a fierce hug.

'OK, OK Ma, let me go.'

Caroline returned to her task of wiping down the work surfaces while Lawrence stood thoughtfully watching her.

'Ma, can I ask another question?'

'Mmm"

'You said Gran pretended you'd never told her you were gay, when was that Ma, when did you tell her, it can't have been when you got together with Kate at first because Gran never pretended she didn't know about that.'

Moving to be closer to her son before replying Caroline said quietly

'I first told your Gran when I was 19, when I came home from Oxford after my first term.'

Caroline watched as realisation slowly crept across Lawrence's face.

'So' he said processing this new piece of information 'that means…..that means this isn't something that happened because Dad left, you've always been….ummm'

'I've always known I was attracted to women yes'

'But then why did you…..'

'Why did I marry your Dad, I married him because I loved him, you must believe me, I loved your Dad and I will be forever grateful that we have two wonderful children as evidence of that love. But we were never really compatible, we never had a true partnership and we grew apart long before he left. I was scared to admit that as well as the truth about myself so there was always a part of me that I kept hidden, I managed my true nature for nearly 25 years Lawrence by simply denying its existence. Eventually, after your Dad left, I got to know Kate and she gave me the courage to finally stop hiding.'

Caroline could see the confusion on her son's face; this was a lot for him to try and understand and they obviously needed to talk further but she was worried that she may already have said too much, at least for a first attempt.

'I hope I haven't shocked you Lawrence, I didn't want to lie to you but maybe I've said too much?'

'No, no…. I want to understand but I need to think, can we talk like this again?'

'Only if I get a couple of hugs each time' she said grabbing him again and pulling him into another fiercely protective hug as he grumbled and protested.

Then to her delight she felt his arms encircle her and he hugged her back, hugged her as he used to, in a way that instantly brought tears to her eyes.