Chapter 10

Time passed and dinner was eaten. Polite conversation ruled the day as Alex and Gene skirted around the issue. When the food was almost gone and the wine was in free flow Alex asked,

"Shall I put the radio on?"

"I'm not dancing again," said Gene.

"Oh come on, we've got to enjoy the radio while we still can," said Alex, "within a year or two it'll be all Stock, Aitken, Waterman and novelty records. Your life will never be the same once you've heard Snooker Loopy."

Gene wiped his mouth with a napkin, laid it on the table and turned to Alex.

"I think it's time, Bols," he began, "we'll have to talk about this sooner or later."

Alex felt her heart leap into her throat.

"I know," she said.

"And you're going to have to help me out here because I'm not very good with," Gene hesitated, "with girly feelings and stuff like that."

"Delicately put," said Alex.

Gene cleared his throat.

"Right then," he said, "so, I've been married before. It wasn't the biggest success of my life. I didn't make the best husband and I don't want to go back there again."

Alex gulped involuntarily. Her mind was busy filling in the gaps. She hated being a psychologist sometimes. She could easily see what Gene wasn't saying. She wanted to make it easy for him, easier for both of them. Rather than leave Gene to reject her and for her to feel let down and empty she interrupted his flow.

"Here's my take on it," she began, "two people work very closely together for a couple of years. There's going to be some chemistry there and sometimes that can be confused for something more. Two people lose trust and work hard to build it back up again and in sealing the deal they get a little… carried away. But thankfully they are interrupted before they," she stammered, "before they m-make a mistake they regret. Then they have to part, and a kiss is a good way to say goodbye to someone you are very fond of… in a professional way… who you will never be able to see again."

Gene stared at her, slightly aghast.

"Is it my turn again now?" he asked.

Alex swallowed and nodded.

"Go on," she said.

"Well, here's my take on things," he began, "two people work very closely together for a couple of years. He wants to get close enough to see the label in her knickers, she starts to realise she can't resist his rugged good looks and charm. Two people forget they need to trust each other one hundred percent. They go out, get a little pissed, stop messing around and try to seal the deal," he scratched his head in annoyance, "until some prat turns up with his holiday snaps. Meanwhile, the rugged, handsome one is waiting in 'er bedroom on a promise and getting bloomin' pissed off when she doesn't come back." He saw Alex looking a little sad and ashamed. "Then… then the two of them find out a lot of truths and he…" his voice started to choke a little, "he makes a big mistake. He thinks he needs to say goodbye. He realised he was wrong to keep the others with him for so long and didn't want to hold her back too. Because she…" he couldn't look Alex in the eye any longer, "she meant more to him than any of the others. One kiss was all they had time for. But if he could do it all again… Well, the outcome would have been very different."

He finally looked back at Alex. Her eyes were glistening with tears and threatening to spill over.

"That's your take on it?" she whispered.

Gene nodded.

"I'd like to hear a psychologist's point of view on that though," he said.

Alex's lips twitched into a smile. It had taken him a fair while to get that right. But it had taken them both a fair while to get something more important right. She leaned towards him slowly, reached out and placed her hand gently on the side of his face. She felt the warmth of his skin and the roughness of his stubble. They were very real sensations, no doubt in her mind. If she'd had any remaining doubts about the tangibility of this world they faded away in that moment.

She closed her eyes. She could feel his breath on her face as she moved closer. She felt her lips brush his so gently, then a little harder. Her head started to spin and her pulse began to quicken. Slowly their lips parted a few moments later. She opened her eyes and saw Gene lick his lips lightly, tasting her lipstick. She began to smile and blush.

"I think," she said quietly, "that your interpretation of events was almost a hundred percent spot on."

"Good," said Gene. He lifted his glass and took a sip.

Alex blushed and looked down at her hands with a smile. The silence that fell wasn't uncomfortable or awkward, it was natural; a silence between two people who knew each other so well that they didn't need to find words just to fill in the gaps. Eventually Alex looked back at Gene.

"I do have one question," she began, "if we both felt the same way about each other… then why did you give me such a chaste kiss when we said goodbye?"

Gene didn't know what chaste meant but he managed to hazard a pretty good guess.

"We had Jimbo perving over us from three feet away," he pointed out, "I'd do almost anything for you Bols, but nothing that would give him a lump in his trousers."

Alex gave a little smile and tried not to laugh.

"I didn't even notice he was there when you kissed me," she said.

"How could you miss him? His glasses were steaming up at the thought of it!"

Alex picked up her glass and took a sip, staring at Gene over the rim.

"So I suppose," she began, "there's one more thing to talk about."

"If it's the 'your place or mine' conversation then you have a distinct advantage," said Gene.

"No," said Alex, "it's where do we go from here?" she hesitated. "We've spent a long time skirting around the issue. Now it's out in the open…"

Gene shuffled.

"Feels weird, doesn't it?" he admitted.

"Yeah," Alex smiled shyly, "it does." She paused, "what you were saying earlier about Mrs Hunt…"

"Before you interrupted and got all psychological on me, you mean?"

"Yeah… If you weren't trying to tell me that you weren't interested in me then what did you mean?"

Gene sighed and downed the rest of his drink.

"Me and the wife…" he began, "we weren't good together. I loved her but she said I had a wandering eye…" he looked down, "maybe I did. She didn't understand the job was my life. It wasn't fair that she came second to that, I know that, but she just didn't know. You…" He looked Alex in the eye, "you know. You understand what it's all about. You believe in keeping the streets free from scum. You understand it's what I have to do, because you have to do it too."

Alex nodded.

"And I understand more than that," she said.

Gene nodded. She didn't have to elaborate. He knew what she meant. She was the only one who knew his past and the only one who could help him keep the memories in the present.

"I'm not an expert on relationships and all that romantic claptrap," Gene admitted, "but I won't hurt ya." He looked at Alex seriously. "Now, I don't know a lot of fancy words and sometimes I might be a bit rough around the edges, but I'll look after you, Bols. If you'll let me."

Alex gave a warm smile, her heart pounding in her chest. She didn't feel she needed looking after if she was honest, but it was more than she'd ever been promised before. Gene made her feel safe. In this strange world where she'd been through so much the one constant was her DCI, her friend, and her hero.

"I think," she said quietly, "that is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me."

Gene frowned.

"'Nice'?" he cried, "I give you me speech, pour me heart out and I get a 'nice'?"

Alex beamed.

"OK, better than 'nice'. Wonderful, romantic, fantastic, everything I wanted to hear!"

Gene poured some more wine for them both.

"There's just one thing I want," he began, "…honesty."

Alex nodded.

"I agree."

"Things fall apart when we're not honest with each other," said Gene.

Alex nodded.

"I know," she whispered.

"And I know something's been bothering you today," said Gene. He saw Alex look down and knew he was right. "So what is it? What happened in your kitchen? Must have been a bloody big rat to make you act like that."

Alex took a deep breath. Her heart sank as she thought about the earlier events of the day.

"It's really nothing," she began to protest.

"Alex…"

"Look, Gene, I saw something, OK," Alex began quietly, "a vision of something unpleasant. It's not the first time, believe me since I came here I've been haunted by one thing after another; first clowns, then Martin Summers, then by…" she paused, "by you."

Gene looked at her seriously.

"What did you see?"

Alex pulled together as much strength as she could and made her face carefully neutral.

"A face in my fridge," she said calmly, "I opened the door to get the milk out and there was a head in there."

Gene's eyes bolted.

"Blimey," he began, "are you sure it wasn't an elephant?"

"Oh don't," sighed Alex, "I've been thinking of that joke all day." She took a gulp of wine. "See? That's why I didn't tell you. I knew you'd be like this."

Gene sighed.

"I'm sorry," he said, "I just wasn't expecting you to say that, that's all."

"Well, it's not there any more," said Alex, "so just forget all about it."

Gene hesitated.

"And why was everyone depriving me of sugar earlier?" he asked.

"Maybe they don't want you to rot your teeth?" suggested Alex.

Gene wasn't so sure about that but decided to let it drop. He looked at his watch.

"It's getting late, Bolly," he said.

Alex began to feel a little nervous.

"Are you going to stay?" she whispered.

Gene hesitated.

"I already told you my position on pink girly sofas," he said.

Alex smirked.

"I was hoping for a practical demonstration of your position on pink girls sofas," she couldn't help commenting.

Gene hesitated for a moment.

"Wait here," he said, getting to his feet and disappearing into the hallway. Alex frowned, a little confused, then leaned back and unfastened the top three buttons of her blouse. Then she hesitated. Too tarty? Maybe. She refastened two of them and hesitated again. Not tarty enough? She called a compromise and unfastened one more.

Just then a red-faced and annoyed Gene marched back into the room.

"I'm sorry, Bolly, I have to go," he mumbled.

"What's wrong?" Alex asked in alarm.

"Nothing's wrong," Gene mumbled, "I just have to go, that's all."

Alex sat bolt upright.

"Why? What have I done?"

"Nothing, Bols, nothing, it's…" Gene put his hands on her shoulders, "it's not you, it really isn't, I just remembered that I was supposed to fill out some bloody paperwork and if I don't get it done before morning I'll be shipped off to the lost pet department." he grabbed his coat leaving Alex looking hurt and confused.

"Gene, you can't leave me like this," she cried.

"I don't want to," Gene sighed, "I'm sorry." he hesitated. "Tomorrow night. No questions, no problems, just me, you, bottle of bolly and a hotel room."

Alex glanced up at him.

"Really?" she asked.

"We've waited long enough for this," said Gene, "don't you think we deserve something better than some fumble on a frilly couch?"

Alex hesitated.

"Yeah," she said quietly, "we do."

Gene felt wretched and guilty as he knelt down and kissed her goodnight.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Drakey," he said quietly, "sweet dreams."

Alex felt confused and empty as she watched him leave. His sudden turnaround had been unexpected and she was no longer prepared for rejection. After all they had said just a few minutes before she thought she knew where the night was going.

Crossly she refastened her buttons, poured herself some more wine and downed it in one.

"Sweet dreams?" she said, "not much chance of that."

Gene cursed and swore to himself all the way down the staircase, out of the door and over to his car where he gave it a hard kick and set off his own alarm.

"You stupid, stupid, stupid…" he muttered, never quite finding an insult strong enough to finish his sentence. He threw his head against the dashboard. "Are you so out of practice you can't even remember to bring the condoms, Hunt?"

He felt like slapping himself around a bit to drum some sense into himself. He couldn't believe they were still sitting in his desk drawer, mocking him, laughing at him. He knew Alex was a modern girl and wasn't going to go for it any other way. He'd felt proud of himself - if embarrassed - when he gathered enough courage to buy them (accompanied by six tubes of toothpaste and half the chemist's supply of fabric plasters to cover them up on the checkout). Now they were waiting in his drawer. They'd still be waiting for him the next morning, chirping "Ha ha, Hunt, you didn't get any last night."

"…Prat!" he finally finished his sentence.

He rubbed his eyes. If it had just been the condoms that wouldn't have been so bad. But when he realised he hadn't brought them and visited Alex's bathroom to see if she had some tucked away in her cabinet he'd found a swirling Keats face staring at him from the inside of the toilet bowl.

"Hunt…." he'd hissed.

Gene had flipped. He knew he had to get out of there. He pulled the chain on the slimy man and made his excuses to leave.

"If I'd just brought the bloody johnnies…." Gene cried.

He knew he'd have some serious making up to do the next day and had no one to blame but himself - and the little rubber guys still locked away in his drawer.