Disclaimer: All familiar characters and settings belong to J.K. Rowling. This story, however, is mine.

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Sunday morning brought no relief as Remus sat staring out sadly from his seat at the Head table. Try as he might, not even Severus could pull the werewolf out of his melancholy as he replayed last night's events over and over in his mind. She had been so brave, she told him she loved him and he threw that love away as if it meant nothing, as if she meant nothing to him, when in reality it meant the whole world to the man. He truly and deeply hated himself for what he had done to her. His self-loathing was all he had left, his punishment for hurting the finest woman he had ever known. But he had done it for her own good, how could she be truly happy with a middle-aged werewolf? She deserved more, much more. And he couldn't be the reason she didn't get it. This thought, however, was of little comfort to the heartbroken man.

Hermione, meanwhile, wasn't fairing much better. Unable to find the will or courage to leave the safety of her room, she laid and stared out her window at the rain all day Sunday. With Remus' tattered socks on her feet, she tried to pinpoint just how she could've been so foolish to admit her true feelings. The kiss had been extraordinary, exhilarating, absolutely perfect. Better than she had ever imagined it could be. His skin, his mouth tasting of chocolate and wine, his strong, lean body beneath her legs, it had all added up to the most sensual experience of her life. She could still feel his body against her, her hands digging into his hair, pulling him closer. She reddened with embarrassment as she recalled the anguished look in his eyes as he pulled away from her. She didn't know how she was ever going to face him again.

After she didn't turn up for breakfast, lunch or dinner, Draco and Ginny were truly concerned. They camped out in front of her room for hours and Hermione finally let Ginny in to see her completely despondent.

"Tell me, please tell me what happened," said Ginny.

"Not much to tell really, I told him I loved him, I kissed him and he pushed me away. He said he couldn't be with me," said a dry-eyed Hermione, her tears having been spent hours ago.

"But he didn't say he didn't love you," said Ginny.

"Doesn't matter, he left all the same," said Hermione.

"He's shown in a million small ways he loves you, he's just afraid. He older, he's a werewolf, he's a teacher here. And besides all that, he doesn't want to see you get hurt. He loves you, of that I'm certain," said Ginny.

"You were so brave to say it," Ginny continued.

"Most people trudge through life, always holding back, hiding their true selves because they're just too damn afraid. I'm proud of you, you're braver than I am," said Ginny.

Hermione smiled sadly at her friend. Holding onto this love was pointless, he would never feel the same towards to her.

"He really doesn't love me, Gin. Every kind look and gesture were mere pity. He felt bad for me, an orphan without many friends and no one to love. He probably felt obligated, there was no one else to look after me. And I understand him pushing me away, he's a wonderful, smart, handsome man, how could he ever love me? But I just feel...I'm just so devastated. I love him so much," she sobbed and fell into her friend's lap.

She cried bitter tears for what seemed like ages, her heart and soul aching from the profound loss. Ginny for her part, merely held her friend, gently rocking her and trying her best to share the loss and ease her friend's heavy burden.

Hermione eventually fell asleep, exhausted from crying her heart out. Ginny gently laid her head on a pillow, quietly left her room and was greeted by an anxious Draco who had been keeping a silent vigil in the common room.

"What's happened? Is she okay?", he asked, his face full of concern.

"She's had her heart broken," said Ginny as she sank into the sofa and began to cry. Draco sat down next to her, taking her into his arms and holding his dear friend.

"I'm so sorry, Gin. I know it kills you to see her hurt. I didn't even know she liked anyone. Who's the guy?"

"Remus," said a tearful Ginny.

"Lupin? Really? Well I guess that makes sense," he said thoughtfully. "They'd actually make a damn fine match. Two quiet bookworms," he said, which made Ginny smile.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner? I wouldn't have been running all around the castle like a damn fool if I'd have known she had a thing for older gents," had said playfully.

"Stop it, it's not funny," she said, smiling at him, gently whacking his arm.

"Poor girl, she really loves him. She told him last night after they got back here and I guess he shot her down, she's absolutely wrecked."

"Poor 'Mione. Must've been hard carrying that feeling around and then finally be brave enough to admit it, only to have the other person not return your feelings," said Draco suddenly somber and reflective.

"He cares for her, I'm positive of it," said Ginny.

"Maybe the wolf just needs a bit of encouragement," said Draco with a small smile.

"What are you suggesting?", she asked, sitting up and looking Draco in the eye.

"I don't know, maybe if he thought she really was taken, it might move his ass. Get him to be honest with himself and her. Sometimes us thick-headed males need a bit of an extra push," he said smiling warmly at the beautiful red head.

"Indeed, you do," said Ginny smiling at the Slytherin.

"Well, that settles it then, we're going to make this happen for 'Mione. We'll do everything in our power. I just hope it works," said Draco.

"Me, too," said Ginny, "me, too."

XXXXXXXX

Monday morning in the Great Hall found Hermione walking towards the Gryffindor table, mustering all her strength to appear normal, but anyone looking close enough could see something was amiss. Her skin was pale and her eyes sunken and dark. She looked weak, almost sickly. She approached the table and saw a smiling Draco stand and give her a warm hug.

"You holding up alright, Granger?", he asked quietly.

She gave him a weak smile and nodded. She sat down facing away from the Head Table so she wouldn't have to look at Remus.

"How about some breakfast?", asked Ginny. "Some waffles or eggs?", she asked kindly.

"I'm not really hungry, Gin, but thanks," said Hermione.

Just then a large brown owl swooped down and landed in front of Hermione, holding a sealed envelope. Hermione offered the bird some sausage in exchange for the letter. Draco and Ginny watched in silence as she opened and read the letter to herself.

Dear Miss Granger,

Kindly meet me in my office following breakfast. There is a matter we need to discuss.

Sincerely,

Professor McGonagall

Oh, shit, thought Hermione. McGonagall knows.

Remus must've told the headmistress about the kiss, worrying that it was his fault and now Hermione was going to be booted out of school.

Well, this is a fitting end to an illustrious educational career, she thought sadly. She could see the Daily Prophet headline now, 'War Hero Expelled from Hogwarts for Throwing Herself at Unsuspecting Professor'.

Well, fuck it, she thought ruefully, might as well get this over with. She figured she could be packed off and at the Weasley's by lunch if she played her cards right.

"Professor McGonagall has requested that I see her in her office. I should get going, don't want to keep her waiting," said a defeated Hermione.

"We'll see you in class afterwards, right?", asked Ginny.

"Yeah, sure," said Hermione although she was convinced she wouldn't be a student here for very much longer.

She walked to the Headmistress' office and said the password to the waiting stone gargoyle and the stone steps opened for her.

As she opened the door, she was saddened to see her suspicions confirmed. There sitting in the room was Professor McGonagall and Remus. Her heart sunk deeper into her stomach as she gathered all her courage to enter the room.

"You wanted to see me, Headmistress?"

"Ah, yes, Miss Granger, do please come in. Have a seat," said the headmistress, as she shuffled some parchments about on her neat desk.

She sat in the only chair available, which happened to be next to Remus. His hair was still damp from his morning shower and he smelled of his usual lilies and sunshine. The smell immediately brought back the memory of his tender, sweet lips, how his mouth had felt on hers, the immeasurable pleasure it had brought her. Hermione shivered at the thought. He offered her a small smile, full of regret and unease. As well he should feel uneasy, the girl who forced herself upon him was seated right next to him.

"Miss Granger, you look slightly peaked this morning? Are you feeling alright?", asked the headmistress.

"Oh, yes, I'm fine, thank you," Hermione replied quickly. "I, um, just didn't sleep that well this weekend," said the Head Girl.

The headmistress smiled knowingly. "Overdid your birthday celebrations?", she asked smiling.

"Indeed," lied Hermione.

"Well, the reason Professor Lupin and I asked you here this morning was to offer you an exciting opportunity," said Professor McGonagall.

"Excuse me? An opportunity?", asked a thoroughly confused Hermione.

What was McGonagall talking about? Wasn't she about to be expelled?

"Yes, as you are aware, the full moon is only two days away and Professor Lupin will be undergoing his monthly transformation. As such he will be unable to teach his classes the day following the full moon. I have looked into getting him a substitute but qualified teachers trained in the subject are hard to come by, as such we are empty-handed at the moment. I have heard from Professor Lupin and many others that you are an exceptional tutor, as I would expect you to be. Given your natural abilities and our current situation, we would like to offer you the chance to fill-in for Professor Lupin this Thursday and teach his classes while he recuperates. This opportunity could be a wonderful stepping stone towards a teaching career, if that interests you. You would be excused from your own classes that day and if this goes well, then we can make it a recurring position each month. Do you think you might be interested?"

Hermione was speechless. She wasn't being expelled, far from it, in fact. She was being rewarded for all her hard work. Of course she was thrilled to be offered such an opportunity. Tutoring this year had been wonderful and she had recently begun considering a career in teaching. This couldn't have been a better opportunity, it unfortunately came at the worst possible time.

"I am sincerely grateful for this opportunity, Professor McGonagall. I really am, I'm just not sure if now is the best time for me," said Hermione.

"There are one or two other seventh years who could handle this in my place, Draco Malfoy or Hannah Abbott, perhaps. They both excel in Defense. Perhaps Professor Lupin should consider them instead," chancing a glance at a quiet Remus.

Looking surprised, the headmistress said, "Are you quite sure, my dear? This is an amazing opportunity that has never been offered to a student. Professor Lupin and I have been discussing this for weeks and both feel your incredible brilliance and dedication make you a perfect fit. I certainly haven't changed by mind. Professor Lupin, do you have any reason to have changed yours?", asked McGonagall.

Since returning to school, Remus and McGonagall had planned on asking Hermione to handle his class following the full moon. After seeing her tutor, he knew she would be incredible in front of a class. He had wanted to give her this chance, but after Saturday night he had indeed tried to convince McGonagall that Draco should fill-in instead. He simply didn't want to force her to be around him, helping him. Not after what he had put her through. But without a valid reason for the switch, for he certainly couldn't tell the headmistress the truth, McGonagall had decided that Hermione was the best choice.

"I have full faith in Miss Granger's ability, I always have," said Remus.

"Hermione," he said, now looking right at her, though she avoided his eyes, "I think you will be amazing in front of the students. You have a gift with them, and will do an exceptional job. If you want this chance, it is yours to have. I wouldn't want anyone else besides you," said Remus.

"I, of course, understand if you can't spare the time or simply aren't interested. But if you do choose to do this, know that you would have my eternal gratitude," said Remus, hating having to ask her for this, but there simply weren't any other viable options.

Gathering her strength and poise, Hermione sat up a bit taller and said, "I would be honored to fill-in for Professor Lupin this Thursday," all the while looking at the headmistress. "Thank you both for this opportunity."

Smiling, McGonagall said, "Excellent. Then that is settled. Thank you for helping, Miss Granger. I'm sure this arrangement will work out splendidly."

The headmistress dismissed them both.

Once the office door was shut, Hermione quickly descended the steps, with Lupin not far behind, the tap-tap-tap of their shoes hitting stone, echoing through the silence.

Remus finally caught up to her at the bottom of the steps.

"Hermione, could you please stop for a minute?", asked Remus as he caught her arm and gently pulled her around to face him.

She merely looked up at him mutely with a cold stare and she pulled her arm free of his grasp, causing his heart to sink into his toes.

"Hermione, I'm so very sorry about Saturday night. If you could just let me explain, I care so much for you but," she put up a hand to silence him.

"Professor Lupin, there is no need to ever discuss what happened again. I am perfectly aware of what transpired and how you feel, no need to talk about it any further," she said, all business.

She continued, "If you would be so kind as to owl me your lesson plans for Thursday, I will be more than prepared to fill-in for you. Again, thank you for this opportunity," she said, her mouth set in a hard line.

And with that, she turned and swept quickly down the hall, leaving Remus to feel the burn of her cold detachment and to wonder just how foolish he had been to turn her down.

XXXXXXXX

Choosing to ignore her pain and embarrassment, Hermione flung herself headlong into her work, spending most of the week in the library studying for classes and preparing for Thursday. She avoided the Great Hall for the most part, choosing instead to stop by the kitchens for buttered rolls and hot chocolate. Draco and Ginny missed their friend but knew that she was dealing with her pain in the only way she knew how, by studying and forsaking all else.

Classes went by mostly without incident, her teachers noticing that Hermione seemed suddenly even more driven and hyper focused than usual, and for Hermione, that was saying something. Defense was the only exception. Hermione stayed completely silent while in Remus' class, avoiding his gaze, not answering a single question and barely participating. Remus chose to let it slide, understanding her need to feel invisible.

Dinner on Wednesday night found an exhausted Remus at the head table. Severus brought him his last dose of Wolfsbaine and as Remus took the potion, he caught Hermione looking at him and their eyes meet for the first time in days. He felt the heat of her gaze and the discomfort of it, but he couldn't bear to look away and much to her surprise, neither could she. Remus finally broke the contact and left the Great Hall, headed toward the Shrieking shack, and Hermione realized that she felt nervous for him. She knew how hard the transformations were, even with the aid of the Wolfsbaine. She knew a long night lay ahead of him and she hoped it wasn't too painful.

However once the full moon was high in the sky, Remus experienced a painful transformation and once in werewolf form, Remus tapped into all of his repressed anger and self-hatred and he raged and howled all night. Not allowing himself to sleep or even stand still for long, he paced through the shack and threw himself against walls, he broke furniture, he let out every ounce of anguish pent up inside of him. He raged and raged until the sun mercifully rose.

XXXXXXXXX

Hermione was wide awake by four-thirty on Thursday morning and after tossing and turning for another thirty minutes, finally decided to get out of bed and prepare for her big day. After a quick bath, she put on her best school robes and pulled out Remus' lesson plans for the day to go over once more. When she finally felt ready, she packed up her supplies and was about to leave for an early breakfast. But as she reached the door, she felt a pang of worry for Remus and she headed back to her nightstand to grab one last thing.

She headed through the quiet castle, the sun barely up and walked the familiar route to the hospital wing. She stood outside of the doors for a moment, wondering why she was even here. He didn't care for her, why did she still care for him? Why was she worried?

Without pausing to examine her own complicated feelings, she pushed open the doors, to find a quiet and mostly empty hospital wing. Madam Pomfrey saw the Head Girl and approached her immediately.

"Miss Granger, how nice to see you, are you feeling alright this morning?", asked Madam Pomfrey warmly.

"No, no, Madam Pomfrey, I'm fine. I was actually just checking on Professor Lupin. Is he doing alright?"

Madam Pomfrey smiled sadly at the young girl. "Professor Lupin actually had quite a rough night, he returned not too long ago, covered in cuts, a few of them quite deep and multiple bruises. He lost more blood than usual, too. I'm not sure what happened, the Wolfsbaine usually helps stop him from hurting himself too badly. He's just taken a Sleeping Draught and is resting now."

"May I see him?", asked Hermione before she could stop herself.

"Of course," said Madam Pomfrey, "But just for a few minutes."

The older witch pointed Hermione towards the only occupied bed at the end of the room. She walked towards his bed and stepped around his privacy screen and gasped quietly at the sight that greeted her. Remus' body was covered in bandages all along his torso, legs and arms and he was covered in dried blood. His face had a deep cut along his right cheek. He looked peaceful while asleep, but she knew how hard the night had been on him.

Seeing him injured, she felt so saddened and helpless. The tears came unbidden as she sat down on his bedside and took his warm hand in hers. If she could just hate him, feel angry at him, focus on all of his bad points, then she would be able to stop loving him and she could put this all behind her and move on with her life.

She wanted to hate him. She truly did. She wanted to rage against him and curse his name, tell everyone who would listen what a heartless bastard he was. She knew that hating him would be easier, simpler than what she was feeling. Because loving him, with no possible hope of him returning that love, was terrifying. That a part of her heart could be given to another, never to be returned again was a crushing realization. So she wanted to hate him instead.

But try as she might, she simply couldn't find it in herself to hate him. As much as her heart ached for a reprieve from this pain, she couldn't let go of the hope that maybe one day he could love her, too.

So she sat with him and held his hand and watched him sleep. As the sun rose higher in the morning sky, she knew classes would be starting soon and so she finally summoned the strength to stand. She bent down and brushed his sandy blonde hair away from his face and gently kissed his forehead. She then pulled a large bar of chocolate from her robes and placed it on his bedside table.

The last thing she did before leaving was to pull out the socks that Remus had given her on the night before school started. She tenderly put the socks onto his cold feet, rubbing each one for good measure and then covered them with his blanket. She gave him one last look and saw him smile in his sleep. She then turned and headed off to teach, leaving the hospital wing as if she'd never been there.