Adam leaned against the door, "Kim's not here."

Catherine nodded her head, "I know. May I come in?" She couldn't help but notice how awful he looked. She had only seen him in photos but he was a good looking man, and the man that stood in front of her looked as if he had traveled through the depths of hell.

"Seriously?" Adam asked her, "Why?"

"I need to talk to you. About Kim. I'd rather not do it out here. Please, Adam?" Catherine clutched her purse in her hand, so tightly her knuckles were beginning to turn white.

Adam stepped to the side to let her in, "What is it?"

Catherine took a deep breath, she hadn't yet uttered the words out loud and she was suddenly finding it hard to speak. Her throat felt like sandpaper and her tongue was thick, "It's about Kim..." she paused, she pulled in a long and deep breath before continuing, "and It goes against my better judgement, but I know my daughter needs you. She needs you now more than ever 's going to hate me for this, but that's okay. She's trying to protect you and her sister from this."

Adam felt his heart accelerate and his knees wobble, "Protect me? Protect me from what? What the hell is going on?"

"She's in the hospital" Catherine blurted out, she could feel the grip she had on her emotions begin to slip, seeing Adam's reaction had told her all she needed to know. The words had barely left her lips and Adam was half way out the door. Even a blind man would be able to see that Adam loved her daughter.

She raced after him, grabbing his arm "Adam, there's more."

"It doesn't matter I need to get to Med." Adam tried to pry his arm from Catherine's hand.

"She's not at Med. She's at Mercy."

"Mercy? That's like an hour and a half away. Why is she there?" Adam asked.

Catherine led him back inside the house, "Adam, Kim has Hodgkins Disease. Mercy has an amazing oncology team. She's in good hands..actually great hands."

It felt like all of the oxygen had been sucked from the room, his eyes burned "Oncology? That's cancer...Kim..she doesn't have cancer." He felt himself gasping for air, "she's healthy..." his vision became blurry as his eyes filled with tears, "she's a gym rat..she eats clean..you're lying to me." She had to be, "You hate me that much? Is this some twisted fucking joke? Kim hates me that much?"

She hated how defeated he sounded, she reached out to touch him, "Adam. Oh, Adam. I wish I was lying, I'm so sorry. Kim has cancer. I wish to god she didn't." Catherine replied, "A few weeks ago Kim showed up on my doorstep. She had been crying..was still crying in fact. I had no idea what to think." She could see the fear written all over Adam's face, he hung on her every word, "She told me that day she had cancer. She wanted to do this alone, but her doctors insisted she told someone. So she told me."

"W-why not me?" Adam whispered, "I love her..."

"I know you do." Catherine smiled awkwardly, she had trashed the man before her for so long, "She knows it too, Adam. My daughter loves you. She didn't want to put this on your shoulders. She wanted to protect you. Nicole as well. She came to me..because..." she stammered a bit, "well, because she doesn't love me..doesn't need to protect me." Her voice cracking a bit, "She won't even let me in the room"

"I need to get to her." Adam stood up.

"Not yet, let me finish." Catherine stood up, "It's been awful she's so sick. It's been really hard on her. The doctors say it's a good thing, it means the chemo is working. It's just so hard to see her in so much pain. She can't do this alone, I won't allow it. She doesn't want me. She doesn't need me..she needs you. Adam."

"She's got me."

"She's sick. She's pale, she's lost a lot of weight. Her hair is gone. She's fighting as hard as she can..but she's tired." Catherine sobbed, "She's all alone...I don't want her to be alone anymore. Please go to her..don't let her push you away."

"I won't." Adam grabbed her hand, "Thank you, thank you for coming to me."

The drive to the hospital was the longest hour of his life, he had thrown his blue light on the dashboard allowing him to get there just a bit quicker.

A thousand different emotions raced through him, he was terrified for Kim. He hated that she was alone in this fight. He hated himself. He hated that he just let her go, that he didn't go after her.

Cancer scared the piss out of him. He knew jack shit about the disease, he was one of the few people that cancer had yet to touch in some way. Until now.

Modesty had gone out the window days ago, she no longer attempted to cover up when the doctors or nurses came through for rounds. She didn't care anymore, she didn't have the energy to care. It took all she had to get out of the bed and in the shower, she craved a shower. She had vomited all over herself and a sponge bath wouldn't get the job down.

It had felt glorious but had zapped her of what little energy she had, she could barely keep her eyes open as she struggled to watch television. It was ugly, she hated the feeding tube that had popped in her nose. The tape was unbearable and she hated the feeling of the tube as it made its way to her stomach. They promised she'd get used to it but she doubted that, it took all she had not to yank it out. It was her ticket home, she needed to put on some weight before they discharged her.

She was desperate to get out of the hospital, she hated it here. She wanted to go home, but that was impossible so she settled for her mother's house. Anywhere was better than the hospital.

The doctors and nurses were great, even the nursing assistants were wonderful and they tried to lift her spirits but it was useless. She could feel herself slipping away with each passing day. It had started with her hair, and then the weight began to fall off and she looked awful.

All she did was sleep, at least in her dreams she had Adam.

It was bittersweet, waking up and realizing she wasn't in his arms was awful, but she still looked forward to sleeping. It was why she spent most of her time asleep.

She lowered the volume on the television and closed her eyes.

Adam followed Catherine down the long corridor, they stopped on at the nurses station, "Hi, Shelly. How's Kim?" Catherine asked an older woman who sat behind the desk.

"Pretty miserable. Last I checked she was sleeping." Shelly offered, "You should sit with her."

Catherine pulled Adam towards her, "This is Adam Ruzek. My daughter's boyfriend"

Shelly's eyes grew big, "Adam? She's called out for an 'Adam' in her sleep."

"Can I see her? Please?" Adam leaned on the counter, "I had no idea..."

"Of course, go on Sweetie." Shelly waved them away, "Sit with her."

Catherine led him to Kim's room, "She's asked me to stay out here, Shelly has let me sit by the bed when Kim's sleeping. She has no idea I'm in the room, I couldn't stay out here...I'm a horrible mother, Adam. I know that." She looked up at him, "I love my daughter and I want her to be okay. I know you can help her. I need you to help her."

Adam nodded, "Of course. Thank you for coming to me. I know it wasn't easy, but I appreciate it. I had no idea. She just left me. She didn't give an explanation..but I just let her go.." he bowed his head almost in shame. "I shouldn't have let her go..."

"You didn't know."

"I know now. I'm not leaving her side." Adam rested his hand on the doorknob, "I can go in? It's okay?"

"It is. I will be right here. Take all the time you need."

Adam felt his chest constrict as soon as he stepped foot in the room. Kim looked incredibly small in the massive bed, her face was ashen and drawn. Dark circles beneath her eyes, a small basin sat beside her to catch her vomit. He watched as the medicine was pushed through the tubing into her blood stream, warning labels stuck to the bag of medicine warning the staff to handle it with care. It was poison infiltrating her precious beautiful body, but it would save her life it had to.

He felt the first tear as it rolled down his cheek, he quickly swiped it away only for another to follow its path. He ignored that one, as he knew it was only the beginning. He felt the tidal wave of tears as they tumbled from his eyes, his chest ached. He leaned over her and lightly kissed her forehead, his hand running over her perfectly shaped head. The smoothness of her scalp was startling, he was used to feeling her soft silky hair.

"Darlin' I wish I knew" he mumbled as he placed another soft kiss this time on the crown of her head. He carefully lifted her hand in his and held it as if it was the most precious thing in the world. It was hard to miss the feeding tube in her nose, she looked exhausted.

He sat down in the chair beside her bed and watched as she slept. He wanted to see her eyes and hear her voice but he knew she needed rest. It pained him to know she had dealt with all of this without him.

Adam watched as her eyes moved behind her lids, the few lashes that remained started to flutter, he stood up. He kissed her head, "Hey baby.." he mumbled as he stroked her cheek.

Kim was confused as her eyes adjusted to the darkness of the room, just the small lamp in the corner of the room was on. He wasn't in the room..he couldn't be, but he was.

He wasn't just in the room he was holding her hand and leaning over her.

"Adam..." Kim uttered, "you're here."

He smiled at her, "I am."

"How?"

Adam sat on the edge of the bed, "Your mother. She came to our house.." he ran his thumb over her hip, "Kim, I wish you had told me...you shouldn't have gone through this alone. I'm here now, and I'm never leaving your side. I love you."

Kim gingerly reached up to touch his cheek, "I'm scared." She relished the feeling of his stubbled cheek on her finger tips. "I'm so scared Adam..." her lip quivering.

"I get that. I understand. Cancer is scary as hell Kim. I'm terrified, but I want to be with you every step of the way." Adam leaned in and kissed her lips lightly, her usually smooth and soft lips were now cracked and dry. He hated what this was doing to her.

"I know...I didn't want to be a burden, I didn't want you tied down to me. I don't know what will happen..if I will live..."

He grabbed her face in his hands, "Stop! Don't even say it. You'll beat this Kim. You're the toughest and strongest woman I know, you will beat this."

Kim wiped a few tears away, "Are...you sure?" She was crying heavily, "It's not pretty.."

"Don't you get it? I love you Kim. You are my world."

"I love you too..I'm sorry Adam." She dissolved into tears, sobbing gut wrenching tears.

"Oh..baby.." Adam opened his arms and caught her as she fell against him, holding her as tight as possible, "You don't need to apologize. You were scared darlin', I'm here now. I'm never leaving you."