Reason for lateness shortness at the end.

White Walls

Chapter 10:

Down

Naruto's POV

Sex is love.

It may only last for a few minutes, but no matter whom I do it with, or why, in my head I feel like we fall in love. It isn't real love, but it still feels good. His hands ran over my flesh slowly while he kissed me gently. I closed my eyes trying to ignore the fact that we were in a closet. I was warm and cold at the same time. He asked me if I was sure I wanted to do this, and with my eyes still closed I simply nodded against his shoulder. He hoisted my bare legs to his sides and we settled against the door. I tightened my grip around his shoulders while the familiar pain shot through my lower back.

I relaxed and let him do what made him feel good while I lost myself in the feeling of being held by another person. My voice would change as the pace of my breath quickened and moans escaped my throat. My body was being thrust against the door of the closet continuously causing a slight pain in my back.

We were both yanked from our blissful moment when we heard Iruka's voice, then a knock on the door. Silently, Sai and I were hoping that no one was going to open the door and find us. Then I heard Sasuke. He was right on the other side of the door. I immediately felt sick to my stomach and wanted nothing more than to get Sai as far away from me as possible. "Let me go." I whispered into Sai's ear. He sighed deeply and released me and began to put on his clothes while I turned towards the door and laid my ear against it listening to see if anyone was still out there.

I could still hear Sasuke talking to Iruka, but it was further away. I turned the nob slowly and opened the door, peeking out just in time to catch Sasuke's eye as he turned the corner with Iruka. I swallowed hard as the sick feeling in my stomach got worse. "Close the door before someone sees you." Sai said. I did. I turned to look at him and he handed me my clothes. "Was that Sasuke?" I nodded. I slipped my pants on, then my shirt. "Um, do you want me to finish you off?" I asked. He shook his head. "Nah, I went limp when I thought we were busted. Thanks though."

He left first, not even giving me a second glance. I stared at the door as it slowly shut, letting the sudden darkness swallow me up while I just stood there. What did I just do? I kept asking myself over and over. I felt the love, warm and fuzzy, flowing through me just a second ago, but it was just cold spinal chills now. I collected myself, breathing out the thoughts and filling my mind with happy memories.

I reached for the door handle, leaving my hand to just rest on the surface of the cold metal. The happy memories drained out quickly and I just felt empty again like I was before I went to Sai. Like a zombie I swayed slightly with my feet planted. An uneasy hollowness settled just below my ribcage and my mouth watered with a sickening sweetness. My breathing quickened and my face heated up.

Before I could run out of the closet, I was bent over dry heaving until what little contents I had in my stomach was let out into a mop bucket. Hot tears streamed down my face and my throat burned. I wiped my face vigorously with the bottom of my shirt and sobbed hard. I shook my head trying to will away the tears. I don't want anyone to worry.

I inhaled deeply, holding my breath for a few seconds before I forced myself through the door. The air in the hallway seemed cooler than in the closet. I shivered. I walked slowly back to the gym, following the echoing sound of random screams and squeaks. I pushed the heavy wooden door open to peak through to make sure none of the councilors would see me. I stepped in quickly and headed towards Kiba and Shikamaru who remained sitting against the furthest wall.

My eyes stayed on them while everything else seemed to blur. It was like they were a million miles away. I just wanted to sit down, I felt tired, and I was getting a headache. "Naruto!" I heard Kiba yell with his usual big smile. "Where'd you go?" I tried to answer, but I was too tired to make words. When I finally made it over to them I collapsed onto the cold floor. "What the hell happened to you?" Shikamaru asked. I just shook my head slowly and laid down, curling up against Kiba with my head resting on his thigh.

I closed my eyes waiting for the echoing screams and squeaks to become white noise. I could feel Kiba run his finger through my hair slowly like my mom did when I was little. "It's ok, you don't have to be sad." He whispered. "You can dream of happy things for a while."

Sasuke's POV

"He is nothing but a big pile of shit, I swear! What kind of guy takes advantage of someone like that? Huh? They are having sex! What the fuck?" Needless to say I was furious. Well, maybe not furious, more like I was confused. I had no idea what the hell I was feeling. I wanted to beat the hell out of Sai, hug Naruto and do whatever I could to make him smile, and hide in my room so I could get away from it all, all at the same time. Gaara could tell that I was in a state of chaos and was trying his best –in his own special way- to bring me back down to reality.

"Ok, it is probably going to piss you off to hear me say this, but I really don't get it. You need to figure out what the hell you want to do. Do you want to get close to Naruto or are you too scared of hurting him?" He stared at me intently and I bit the inside of my cheek trying to hold back another rant I felt the urge to express. I had to think about it. Having to think about it at all should have been an answer in itself, but I wanted to say that I had already claimed Naruto. He was mine and Sai should die for even thinking of laying a hand on him, but then I think about what I could do to Naruto. I could break him if he ever made me mad. I already have.

"I want him but-"

I saw the blonde that was currently overtaking my brain slip into the gym. I completely forgot about my conversation with Gaara while I watched him stagger slowly towards Kiba and Shikamaru. His eyes were red and puffy, he looked pale. The way his eyes seemed like hollow sockets made me worry more. "Damn. Sai must be pretty rough. That kid looked worn out." I shot a glare at Gaara. "Shut the fuck up." I watched Naruto as he collapsed in front of Kiba and crawled into his lap. Kiba stroked his blonde hair and for a second he seemed at peace, his inner turmoil settling for a moment before tears fell slowly from his eyes, falling onto Kiba's pants. He closed his eyes and seemed to have fallen asleep.

"You know, if you're that worried about him, why don't you just tell Iruka or Kakashi. You know, the people who are paid to deal with it." I didn't respond. Iruka and Kakashi already knew Naruto had issues, if I told them anything it would be like telling someone that the sky is blue. It's common knowledge.

"Adolescent Block! Block 1, line up, please!" Iruka yelled, waving his hand around trying to get everyone's attention. I heard Gaara sigh deeply. "Well, I guess I'll see you in another two weeks or so. Unless one of us gets sent home or, you know, dies or something." I nodded with a slight smile, then headed for the door where Kakashi was standing. He smiled at me before turning his attention back to where Iruka was.

The brunette man was over with Kiba and Shikamaru. It seemed like they couldn't get Naruto to wake up. Kiba kept poking the blonde's head trying to stir him, while Shika stood over them. After it was obvious that Naruto was out cold Iruka just lifted the unconscious boy into his arms and began walking towards us. "Humph, I guess Naruto must be tired." I turned to my right to see Sai's smirking face. My heart started pounding, my hands were shaking. I wanted to break his neck. Tear him apart.

Before I could lift my fist I was distracted by Iruka's voice. "I guess this guy wore himself out." He smiled. I heard Sai chuckle deeply, obviously trying to get my attention. I bit deep into my tongue, thinking about puppies and unicorns, anything to stop myself from stomping into Sai's skull. "I think he's sick or something." Shikamaru commented. "Yeah!" Kiba joined in. "He's been acting funny lately." Kakashi and Iruka traded glances. "Should I take him to see Tsunade? It could be his medicine." Kakashi nodded. "Yeah, go ahead. I'll take these guys back."

We headed out. I knew Sai was purposely trying to get to me. He was standing close enough for me to feel his breath on the back of my neck. "So, tell me. Are you jealous?" He whispered, coming around to my side. I glanced at him for just a second. "You need to get the fuck away from me." I said lowly. He chuckled again. "Oh, don't be mad, Sasuke. He's in a weird mood right now. He'd get on his knees for you if you asked nicely." That was it.

In a swift motion, I slammed Sai against the wall, my arm pinning his throat, while my other hand trapped his. "Shut up you fucking piece of shit." I spat. "You say one more fucking thing I swear to god I will slit your fucking throat in your sleep." He tried to push me off, but I wasn't budging. "Jesus Christ." He hissed. "I was just messing around." He coughed.

"Hey!" I jumped back from Sai in a flash when I heard Kakashi's booming voice from further down the hall. "Having problems?" We both shook our heads and began walking slowly after the group. "You need to calm the hell down." He whispered. "I wasn't trying to start anything. Just a little pay back for that punch you gave me." I rolled my eye. "You are disgusting. You took advantage of Naruto and now you're making a joke out of it to get at me. I swear, as soon as I get you alone, I will happily crack your fucking skull. "Hey, I didn't take advantage of him. He came to me first. Plus, he seemed down, how could I refuse him?" I was trying to ignore him. Every time he opened his mouth all I could think about was what was going on behind that closet door.

"If it counts for anything, we didn't get to finish. You and Iruka kind of interrupted us. By the way, what the hell were you doing? Were you trying to sneak a peek?" He laughed. "Shut… the fuck… up."

"Don't worry. You're not missing anything. He's covered in scars. It's kind of a turn off." He smirked. "But he's got the ass of a talented whore." Then, he was down. The urge to murder the cocky low life piece of shit became more than I could handle. One punch, two, three. I almost don't remember exactly what I did. Too much adrenalin pumping, I blacked out.

)()()()()()()()()(

Hi!

So, terribly sorry that this is short and incredibly late, but I have been in the hospital. (Still am at the moment.) Apparently taking you mom's sleeping pill so you can sleep for two days straight counts as a suicide attempt, so I got sent to the crazy people part of the hospital.

It is different here than the one I was at before. They don't MAKE me go to the group activities, and I get my laptop for 30 minutes every day so I can write. 10 minutes of internet for good behavior. Blah.

Funny story: I was jotting down some things from White Walls in my journal. The therapist (for some reason) looked at it and thought I was writing about my experience at this hospital. She saw some notes about Kiba and she asked me if there were people having sex in the closet. I actually laughed my ass off… but then it got awkward because I had to explain to her that I am just a huge perv who likes the idea of two boys getting it on in a closet. She was like "… Oh, ok." XD