A/N: Thank you, as always, to those who are reading and following this story. And of course to RhizOneill for commenting on each chapter.
Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who. If I did, the Doctor and Rose would have their HEA.
To say that seeing Sarah Jane Smith again was not awkward was an understatement. The Doctor hid it well, but he knew that he had been unnerved. Seeing her, his old friend and companion, reminded him that human lives were fleeting. That Rose would grow old before he blinked and she would be gone. His hearts would be torn in two.
The Doctor watched his other self and his pink-and-yellow human have a similar discussion about fifty feet away. He leaned against one of the pillars at the school door, eyes focused slowly on them. He remembered he had tried to distance himself after that, so as to save the heartbreak that would accompany losing her later. He smirked that it was after this discussion that he kissed Reinette, which he had just properly reprimanded himself for.
What a fool I was, he thought. Rose Tyler would always be with me, even when I DID lose her. She was worth the pain. She always would be.
He saw his counterpart say the words that he hoped would bring her understanding.
"I don't age, I regenerate. But humans decay. You whither and you die. Imagine watching that happen to someone you…."
She looked directly into his eyes. "Someone you what, Doctor?"
He swallowed, diverting her question. He knew what she wanted him to say, but he couldn't. It would make it that much harder if the words were out. "You can spend the rest of your life with me, but I can't spend the rest of mine with you. I have to live on…alone. It's the curse of the Time Lords."
The bow-tied Doctor's hearts still clenched hearing himself say that. How he wanted to spend the rest of his life, however many regenerations there might be after that, with her. If given a choice, he would keep her with him forever.
He still might.
Watching the two of them walk away, he suddenly had a thought. Slipping inside the school, he quickly walked to a classroom. He found a slip of paper and a pen and wrote a note in his scribbled handwriting. Folding it up, he placed it in his bigger-on-the-inside pocket and sighed.
Her tongue-in-teeth smiled flashed in his memory and he closed his eyes, allowing her to penetrate his thoughts. Even though this whole trip was about reminding himself how much she meant to him, he still took any chance he could get to see her, unbidden, in his mind. He might stop a memory in the presence of company, but when he was alone, he allowed himself moments. Moments of when he was actually happy, when he had actually loved someone and was loved in return. Moments of when he would do anything just to see her smile or hear her laugh.
He sighed once more and opened his eyes, staring at nothing. In truth, he had planned on finding a way to spend the rest of her life with him. He once again thought back to the "bio-damper" ring he still carried. The secret that no one would know, that it actually belonged to Rose Tyler and always would.
Rose kept thinking about what the Doctor had said. He had wanted to spend the rest of his life with her, he had just said that. But "humans decay," he had said. She wouldn't be able to keep him, no matter how much she wanted to.
She sighed and looked at Sarah Jane. She hadn't realized that he had traveled with others, even though it made sense. She was so afraid he would forget her if somehow he left her. He said he wouldn't do that, but a small part of her wasn't too sure. She felt him pulling away from him, after they had grown so close.
Sitting in her room in the TARDIS later, she felt a tear roll down her cheek. Wiping it away, she removed her jacket and when folding it to place it on the desk chair, heard a crinkle. She pulled a note out of the pocket.
Strange, she thought. I don't remember getting any notes, or anyone getting close enough to put one in my pocket.
A part of her said it might have been Mickey, with yet another attempt to get her to leave the Doctor. Knowing that would never happen, she opened the note to see the Doctor's scribbled handwriting.
Rose Tyler, you are worth getting my hearts broken for.
She sucked in a breath. When had he placed this in her pocket? And what exactly did it mean? She recalled her conversation with Sarah Jane Smith and how she had said the Doctor was worth getting her heart broken for. That was certainly true. Had he overheard? Was he toying with her emotions? Had he recanted what he had said earlier?
She reread the note again when a figure popped into her head. A man she recalled seeing on the school grounds. He wore a tweed jacket and a blue bow tie. He had green eyes and walked with confidence, much like the Doctor. She thought him to be a counselor at the school or something.
That man! The one who I keep seeing! He kissed my hand in 1953, gave me a present at Christmas and I spoke to him in Henrik's. Who IS he?
She considered telling the Doctor about him, then changed her mind. This strange man, whoever he was, wasn't threatening in any way; in fact, he was rather charming. She pulled out a journal and began writing down all the times she had seen him. Maybe she could figure out who he was after all.
A/N: I really wanted to include Satan Pit in this story, for obvious reasons (I believe in her). But I couldn't figure out how to get Eleven into the story when they are falling towards the sun or down in the pit. So I kept it out, but of course, every episode in the Doctor and Rose's run is important.