Thanks for all the reviews! Here's another chapter to satisfy your… thirst lol XD

CHAPTER 9

EPOV

I knew what she was. Of course I did. She was a prostitute, a liar, a spy for my worst enemy. I should have hated her, right? But it was impossible. The more I looked at her, felt her change of humour around me, I felt more and more protective of her… even though what happened was my fault. If I hadn't shunned her, humiliated her that way all those years ago, then maybe we would be living happily ever after.

I chuckled darkly to myself.

Bella glanced at me, narrowing her eyes, her hands clenched so tight on her bag that her knuckles had turned white.

I wasn't going to let her go shopping with Alice Saturday. She was coming with me, staying with me and letting me explain… making things right.

I wanted her so badly, too badly, but not in a way that might sound dodgy or just nasty… I wanted to lover her so badly, and even worse, I wanted her to love me back.

She knew, of course, that I wasn't human. I was something in between humanity and something more… in human.

She knew that the more angry I got, the more the monster in me got out, lashed out. She also knew the happier I was, the calmer I was, I would be more human, someone more loveable.

Bella shifted in her seat and I slowed down, turned the car around and drove through the trees, to our clearing.

"Where are we going!?" Bella shrieked, making a grab for the door handle. I hit a button and the locks bolted.

"I need to explain, so we're gonna go talk. Please, just listen to me, OK?" it was obvious I was pleading. Still, I knew she'd do something about it. It was Friday. Tomorrow she'd be going shopping… Alice would make sure she was nowhere near me.

"What? I don't want you to explain, you jackass! Now take me to school!" she yelled, twisting round and punching me in the arm. I fought hard to remain calm.

I didn't want to be a monster around her.

I parked the car and twisted round, fixing her with a cold look. She immediately backed down.

I took a deep breath and started to talk, "That day you told me you were pregnant, I reacted badly, I know. It was stupid of me of treating you like that… humiliating you.

"It was stupid and cruel, I know. You have every right to be mad at me… and you have no idea how much I wish I was there when you needed me… and how much I wanted that kid. I wanted us to be a real family but I was too blind to realise who I had near me and in consequence I lost you and everything we could have had together.

"After you left and I never heard from you until now, I dumped Tanya. She wasn't worth the trouble of running after. We broke up and I left home for a couple of months, doing small jobs here and there, you know?

"I was in the city when I passed a street and I … I saw you there, standing by the roadside, obviously talking money with a guy in a hood. I would have passed on if I didn't see his hand reach out and touch you on the leg, then you got in the car and drove off…"

I closed my eyes and tried to stop chocking on my own bile.

"That night, I tracked down the guy and killed him. Three bullets in his head and I was gone."

Bella gasped and tried the door again. I reached out and grabbed her arms, pulling her toward me, hugging her closely.

"I didn't want to, trust me. Jealousy drove me to kill that man and all the other's that you went with. I kept an eye on you, Bella. I lied when I told you I had no idea where you had been for the past years.

"I was shocked and mad when I found out you were that pigs lover. Howard Jackson. My first though was 'how could she?' and then I figured you didn't know who he was, what he did. I thought that maybe you were trying to forget-"

"Not everything revolves around, Edward!" she snapped, although her voice was muffled against my shirt. Strangely enough she didn't seem to want to pull away from me.

"I know that, Bella. The scary thing was, I was still hoping you had feelings for me. And then you appeared in the streets when we were shooting down those mothafuckas… I knew straight away you knew who they were after and I was hurt that you'd want to help them kill us.

"I didn't let on, though. I pretended that it wasn't happening and slowly I tried to come to terms with what you were telling me.

"Every time I saw your face inching up towards Jackson's, waiting for your kiss, I became more of the monster and I killed again, again and again."

I let my arms fall away from her, and looked out of the window at the trees.

"I wanted to hurt you, Bella, I really did, but I wasn't stupid. I knew that if I killed you, or hurt you, I would kill myself. I would never me able to live my life knowing that I had killed the girl I had loved the most.

"All I am asking now, is to be forgiven. I know this is too much to ask but I… want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to hold you close when you're scared, dry your tears when you're sad and laugh with you when you're happy. I don't want to be in the wings, waiting for the right time to wipe away that asshole from the face of the earth."
long shot, buddy, I thought to myself.

Still, I went for it.

I pushed Bella away form me but cupped my hand behind her neck and whispered, "I want you to marry me, Bella Swan"

The only sound I got was a shot crashing through our windshield… and then everything went black.

R&R!!