My body was shaking in waves, with cold tremors methodically washing over me. I felt like my body had turned on me after all this time. It was trying to detox from the lingering darkness and it was destroying me in the process.

It nauseated me to think of this all being orchestrated. Everything had been planned from the beginning. The Darkling knew my thirst for power, even my thirst for him, at one point. He knew I wouldn't leave the darkest parts of myself alone.

I'll see you soon, he had said.

I didn't want to believe he knew where I was. But I knew he had a knack for smoking his prey out, like a hunter to a fox in a hole. Just like his attack on my home—on Keramzin so many months ago. He did it solely to provoke me, for me to come out of hiding and find him. I didn't want to relive that kind of pain again.

My choices were simple, really. The safety of my people was more important than my pride. That was something I knew without a doubt. And I also knew I would be no good to Ravka if I spent the rest of my years deteriorating in a hospital bed. I had to make a decision.

Through sheer willpower, and fear that I was not willing to admit to myself, I managed to crawl out of bed. I took a warm bath, packed a bag of necessities, and ate a few pieces of cooked bread.

I found a mirror and grimaced at my reflection. I looked sickly with sunken cheeks and deep purple bags underneath my eyes. Almost as if I had caught one of the life-threatening colds that swept through the villages of Ravka in the winter. It wasn't all bad though, as I realized I could use my poor appearance in my favor.

With apprehension, I grabbed my bag and made my way downstairs in search of Liliya. I found her seated at a desk in the lessons room. It was far more glamorous than the cramped room we had as children.

Liliya tried to mask the worried expressions on her thin face as she took in my appearance. Judging by her reaction, I was looking worse than when she last saw me only days before.

"Moi soverenyi." She said as she stood and bowed slightly.

I nodded at her to sit. "As you probably already know, I am ill. Because of this, I am leaving today for Os Kervo in search of some medicinal herbs." I placed a sealed letter on the desk and continued. "I need you to send this to Os Alta and ensure that our king receives it. No one else."

"No one else…" she murmured. "Would you like me to deliver it myself?"

I glanced around the empty room and said, "Yes. It is important that only our king reads this letter."

She nodded and gingerly picked up the letter. "Please excuse my forwardness, but are you certain you're in the right condition to travel? Any person here would be glad to ride to Os Kervo for you."

I shook my head and smiled a little. "I'm stubborn," I said. "I have to do this myself."

Liliya didn't look convinced. "It isn't safe. I know you're determined but there are many people who want you dead, not to mention the Darkling is still at large…" Her words trailed off as I gave her the sternest expression I could manage.

"I'm sorry," she said quickly as she lowered her head. "That was not my place."

"It's okay, Liliya. I appreciate your consideration," I said softly. "But traveling caravans of soldiers, exquisite coaches— they all gather too much attention. No one will look at me twice. Will you leave for Os Alta today?"

She stood and bowed slightly again. "Yes, I will not fail you."

"Thank you. Could you get a horse ready for me while I go and speak to the soldiers?"

"Of course, moi soverenyi."

As I passed through the gates of Keramzin, I let my shoulders slump and my posture slacken. The movement of the horse made my bones ache but I didn't have to pretend while on the road. My only concern was staying alert as I tried to ignore the pain that weighed me down.

I was wearing brown, muted attire, looking less like a Grisha soldier and more like otkazat'sya. The word sent chills down my spine. For most of my life, I had believed that I was defined by that word—the abandoned, the powerless. But it was no longer my identity. For all of the pain that being the Sun Summoner had caused me, it had given me purpose. Purpose that was devoid from my life for too long.

Before long, it was mid-afternoon, with the sun disappearing behind the mountainous horizon. As the sunlight slowly vanished, so did the heat. My bare hands quickly began to lose feeling, causing my grip on the reigns to loosen. Before I could grab them, my body tilted and my balance shifted. I tried to grasp onto the horse as I toppled over but my hands held no strength.

I hit the ground at full force, bouncing slightly along the dirt road. The impact sent shockwaves throughout my body. The horse was several paces away before it realized I was no longer on its back. It came to a stop and turned its head, staring blankly at me.

The pain in my body was too excruciating to register. I pushed it to the back of my mind and tried to focus on the horse. I realized that anyone could ride along and take the horse, along with everything on it. I couldn't let that happen, despite the pain I was in.

I clicked my tongue and patted the dusty ground, calling the horse over. It moved slowly, its hooves stomping along. Once it was within reach, I tugged on the side of the saddle and struggled to pull myself upwards. I finally stood after several attempts. I leaned my body weight on its side and used the horse as support as I guided us away from the road.

A dense and uninviting forest lined the road we were traveling on. I decided I would use the shadows of the trees for cover until I could travel again. I tied the horses' reigns to a tree and fed it dried apples before slumping to the ground.

Warm blood pooled from a tear in my pants. I could feel it running down my leg and tickling my ankle. My clothes stuck to my body in different spots where I was cut. It was both revolting and terrifying. I began to shake from the breeze that hit my exposed and bloody skin.

I hit my head against the trunk of the tree and let out a muffled scream of frustration. I regretted ever leaving the comfort of Os Alta. It was stupid of me to think I was strong enough, that I could handle Ravka outside the palace walls. I was still so weak, in both body and spirit. But I had felt trapped. I felt trapped being a leader in the city and I felt trapped being a leader in the countryside.

When would my emotions start to make sense?

As the chilly breeze rustled the browning leaves of the forest, the horse began to startle. It stomped its front legs and shook its head. It was obviously irritated by something. The horse shifted onto its back legs and threw its front legs into the air, neighing loudly.

It could sense that something wasn't right.

The horse suddenly let out a choked, high-pitched sound as it swayed slightly then fell to the ground. The ground shook as the horse crumpled and fell still. I quickly moved to my knees and crawled the horse's side. I could barely feel a pulse as I clutched its chest.

I only knew of one thing that could stop the heart of a living creature. I looked frantically around me but the forest was too dark to see very far. I reached into my boot and clutched my dagger with one hand. With the other, I summoned enough light to illuminate my surroundings.

My breath caught in my throat as I saw them. Three Grisha stood before me, all wearing the different colors of the orders. The Corporalki, wearing deep red and grey, stood closer to me than the others. His hand was raised and looked almost like a claw.

Before I could attack, he squeezed his hand shut and everything went black.

Author's Note: Here's another quick update! I know some of you wanted the Darkling in this chapter, but don't fret. His time will come very soon. Let me know what you guys think of the story so far. Oh, and thanks so much to everyone who has left reviews. You guys are awesome!