This Is My Life
Chapter 10
A/n: Who needs logic?? Why can't the world be run by bunnies?? We live without logic so we never have to answer theses questions!!
Xx
I trudge along the path to Mama's house which is big and white and lonely. I never liked it there. I carry Laila in my arms carefully; it feels weird to have a newborn in my arms again. The door is big and blue and uninviting but I knock and ring anyway. Laila is asleep, that's good, at least i think it is.
The door opens and my heart skips a beat, it's Kenny. He wipes his eyes on the back of his hand, before looking at me. Before it registers who I am he mutters "Hi." Then he blinks, does a double take and wraps me in a tight hug. I have to pull away; he may very well crush Laila.
"You've come back." He says, he's shocked, which makes me laugh.
I nod. He stares at Laila; his eyes are focused on her curl. He knows she's Logan's.
"This is Laila." I turn the sleeping baby to face him. He smiles at her, but she is still asleep.
"Come in." Kenny says as he pushes the door wider. As I walk past, he takes Laila from me. "Maddy!" he calls.
A toddler comes tottering round the corner, there's caramel curls framing her face. "Maddy?" I whisper. She walks arms outstretched towards me. I pick her up and kiss her forehead. I missed her, oh god I missed her.
"Mama's in there." Kenny signals, I do not dare put Maddy down, but cling to her, and also take Laila into my other arm. I walk slowly into Mama's living room, it's exactly as I remember it, dull, boring, and with the very same rug I tried to burn when I was five.
"Who was at the – Dana!" Mama jumps to her feet in surprise. "What are you doing here?"
No more lies, I decide. "Could you look after Maddy and Laila, there's someone I need to see?"
"Of course we'll look after Maddy, but who is Laila?" she asks confused.
I take a sharp breath of air. "My daughter."
"Let me see her." Mama holds out her arms, I pass her, with some difficulty due to the toddler clinging to my shoulder. Laila is starting to wake up now.
"She's beautiful Dana." Mama says to me. She sits back on the couch and waits for me to sit beside her. I put Maddy beside her instead.
"Mama, I have to go." I kiss her on both cheeks and watch as her eyes fill with tears. "I'll be back, I promise." I mean it. I can't leave Maddy again and I definitely can't leave Laila.
As I walk past Kenny on my way out I give him a hug. "I promise to be back." I whisper.
Xx
I remember the way to Zeke's a little too clearly, it makes me want to run away, but I keep going. I have to. I have to warn him off, keep him away from Maddy and Laila, and me. I pass Lindsay's door. I wonder how she's coping with her new baby. It must have been born ages ago. I stop for a few moments, unsure whether to knock or just pass by.
I decide to just keep walking, not far now. And there it is, our apartment block. There's a light on, meaning he's in, and not gone out drinking just yet. That doesn't mean he's sober of course. He hasn't been sober since we left PCA. I clamber up the stairs and use my key. He won't have changed the locks; he never does anything like that.
I walk in. He's splayed out on our couch. He shoots me a disgruntled look.
"Where the hell have you been?" his voice is angry. I back away. I don't want to answer him. The door has shut behind me, and there's a click as the automatic lock does its job.
"Where the hell have you been?" he repeats, his voice angrier still. He stands up swaying slightly; he has an empty whisky bottle in his hand. He smashes it against the wall. "Tell me where the hell you've been."
I push myself up against the wall. "I've been away." It came out as a whimper. "I've been away, okay?"
"No Dana! That's not okay!" he says in a low growl. He brings the broken bottle, with its jaggy edges, to my throat. I felt piercing pain as he pressed in to my skin and as he removed it I saw blood on the end. "You took my daughter away from me! And now you shall pay dearly!"
"You stay away from Maddy!" I yelled, "All you've ever done is hurt her and hurt me! I took her away for her own good!"
"You took her away out of stupidity and selfishness Dana Cruz! Admit it!"
"Never! None of that is true!"
"Admit what you did was for yourself and not for Maddy. You make me sick!" Zeke raises the bottle and shoves it into my stomach. I sink to the ground and watch as a pool of blood forms around me. Zeke staggers back. I wish I could say he does so in regret, but there is just a look of pure excitement and happiness.
My eyesight is growing blurry. Zeke's just going to leave me here to die. He doesn't care, but I can't phone for help, not while he's here. If I can just hang on until he's gone. Yes, he's grabbing his coat and keys. He pits on me as he passes, being careful not to stand in my blood. I hear the door slam and grab my phone.
911. I give my address, say I've been stabbed, but I'm shaking so much I drop the phone. Everything goes black and I collapse.
Xx
I wake up in a warm bed, in a warm room. I look around. Logan is asleep by the window with Maddy on his lap, and Mama is by my bedside with Laila in her arms.
"Mama?" I whisper.
"It's okay Dana. It's okay. They've got Zeke and are taking him in for attempted murder."
I sigh with relief. "What's Logan doing here?"
"He wanted to see you. He missed you."
I look to where Logan is still asleep. It's hard to believe he didn't miss me. He sent out search parties and went looking for me everywhere. And I missed him, more than he'll ever know.
"It's a shame to wake him Dana, but he'll need to know you're awake." Mama taps Logan's shoulder and he stirs from his slumber. His eyes focus as they find me.
"Dana?" he questions.
I smile and nod. He scoops Maddy up and practically bounds over to the bed. He gives me a swift kiss, so that Mama doesn't notice, but I feel.
Xx