Turns out Bro was pretty helpful. Dirk uploaded all the data that currently had to the laptop that he connected the shades to. He didn't contribute until about halfway, but then even Dirk was impressed with his ideas. After the group broke for the night, I collected Bro and returned to my room.

"So what do you think?"

You guys might be able to pull this off.

Nice pool of talent.

Strength.

Intelligence.

Skill.

Luck.

Pretty impressive for a handful of teenagers.

"Thanks."

By the way.

While I was connected.

I dropped that audio file onto your system.

It'll be there waiting for you.

Listen to it or delete it.

Up to you.

"Thanks? How'd you get to my system? You were put into Dirk's, weren't you?"

Met a guy who knows his way around the cybers.

"Ah. You connected with AR."

Dirk definitely chose a different path.

Letting his digital self evolve separately.

But I suppose when that is your only social interaction.

You really don't want to talk to yourself.

AR's coming along nicely.

He's got a good set of circuits laid out.

Wouldn't mind tracing through them one day.

"Wait. Are you… Did you hit on… Your digital self is hitting on your alternate clone's digital self. Fuck that's weird. Even for you Bro."

Do you see any other digital being to hook up with?

Besides.

As Heinlein said.

You can't help but seduce yourself.

And I still got needs.

"Ew. Dude."

Hey you got a plethora of choice babes.

That snarky blonde for one.

You get past those Freudian barbs.

And I'd bet she'd be kinky in bed.

"Rose? Oh fuck no. No no no!"

What?

She taken or something?

"She's my fucking sister for one. And for two she's your fucking daughter."

Run that by me again.

"Ectobiology shit. We are all test tube babies created by Egderp by the means of fucking Sburb technology. We are all paradox clones. I'm actually your kid too, not your little brother."

Huh.

Thought you were just some random space baby.

Riding down from the heavens on a meteoric dead pony.

"Yea, when were you gonna tell me about that?"

Dunno.

Never found the perfect ironic moment to drop it on you.

I mean.

How do you explain that to a kid.

"Dunno. Not my job. How did someone tell you?"

I was a meteor baby too?

"Shit, man. You didn't know?"

Nope.

First memory is Lil'Cal and I surviving of the orphanage.

Didn't ask too many questions.

Didn't really care beyond getting out of that hell.

That's why I took you in.

No kid deserves to go through that.

"Yea… thanks."

Don't mention it.

At least I didn't kill you.

You actually turned out decent.

Okay, so I guess that knocks out all of the blondes in the group.

"Yep, we are all related. Though I guess Roxy and Dirk could hook up and naturally create more Roses and Daves."

Okay.

What about the Lolita furry?

"Jade? Yea, not related to her."

Then why aren't you all over that?

"Dude, we are in the middle of a multi-versal apocalypse posed as some stupid game, we are currently hurtling through space and time on a meteor turned lab, and we are only fucking sixteen!"

You've gotten a kiss at least right?

"Yea. A little post mortem but whatever."

Post mortem?

"Yea, Jade sorta shot me up then kissed my corpse."

Kinky?

"We were facing Bec Noir and he redirected her machine gun to shoot at me. In order to revive me as my dream self she got her mack on with my dead body."

Machine gun huh.

"Yea, hurt like a fucking bitch. Almost as bad as after a strife with you."

Hah.

Then I bet you took it like a champ.

"Didn't even cry. Shed one tear for ironic reasons. And Jade looked pretty pitiful. She felt pretty bad about it. Nothing she could have done about it though."

You knew about it.

"Cool thing about being a Time player. We get to cheat every once in a while. Not always a good thing though."

Knowing how you're gonna die would suck.

Because then you'd have self-fulfilling prophecy shit.

"Yep. Learned my lesson on that one. No more peeking for me. Rose sees enough for all of us."

This game is so screwed up.

"Yea. But it's not like we had a choice. The Reckoning was gonna destroy the Earth whether or not we played the game. Alternate timelines proved that."

That's what happened to Dave's Jade.

"Because he didn't stop his John from going to LOWAS's denizen, John wasn't there to connect to Jade and pull her into the game. He didn't help much in the Alpha either. Vriska put him to sleep before he could prototype Jade's kernel which forced the hell hound to prototype itself which created Bec Noir."

Who in turn killed me.

So who's this Vriska bitch?

"Another troll. Too bad she's dead. She has a… misunderstanding with Rezi. Got stabbed in the back before she could become the hero she screwed up the game for. Dead even before I could get my hands on her."

Damn.

We could have had a pretty ironic vengeance scenario.

I can see it now.

My name is Dave Strider.

You killed my brother.

Prepare to die.

"Heh. My name is Dave Strider. You killed my brother. Prepare to die. Over and over and over. I wouldn't even need to fight her. Just drive her mad."

Nice touch.

I always appreciated the idea of to the pain though.

Simple and elegant.

Yet covers all the bases for a good retaliation.

"Eh. She's probably take it the wrong way. Trolls have a fucked up sense of romance. They have something called kismesissitude. It basically sums up to hate sex. She'd think I was waxing black for her."

Trolls are fucking weird.

"I've been living with them for over three years now and I still don't get them." I am about to go on to enumerate all the ways that trolls are fucking weird for him, but a yawn interrupts.

Hey.

Before you fall asleep on me.

Go to bed.

I nod in agreement. There was more training tomorrow.

I'll be right here.

We'll talk later okay?