"Oh dear, oh dear, whatever will happen today?"
Crash!
"Okaaaayyyy…Young Link, are you okay in there?" the Authoress inquired as she rapped on the door of the young hero's dressing room.
"NO," came the answer.
The Authoress glared at the door. "Why not?"
"It's horrible!"
"What is?"
"Something happened! I've been…."
"What? What happened?"
"I'm…I'm…CEL-SHADED!"
"YL, this isn't Windwaker. Get out here NOW so the chapter can start!"
"You come in."
"Fine." Numdenu sighed as she opened the door. And Young Link was sitting there, completely normal, laughing his butt off.
"Ha-ha! Psyche!" the Hylian cackled.
"Dammit, YL, let's just start the chapter!"
εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз
"Right then," Master Hand began. "Pichu, our interrogators said they found a half-empty vial of prune juice on you, and as we heard in the last chapter, Mario is stuck to the floor with prune juice."
"Alright, alright, so I did THAT, but for the other stuff, I was FRAMED!" Pichu replied in the tongue of the Pokemon.
"The butter?"
"Anyone!"
"How about the corrosive acid?"
"That could've been anyone small enough to get in!" Pichu paused for a second, then pointed an accusing paw at Young Link. "Like him!"
"Pichu, I was asleep!" Young Link shouted back.
"You slept in!"
"I had the crap beaten out of me yesterday!"
"ENOUGH!" roared the hand. "What about the 'Same Stage' dilemma? Only someone stealthy-"
"Like him!" Pichu accused again.
"The power outage? Only a small electric rodent could have done that."
"Th-that was Pikachu!" Pichu stammered.
"Pikachu is a klutz."
"Okay, fine, I did that too! Just not the rest!"
"The dial was jammed."
"Jeez, why would I cut the green wire that's second to the left with a pair of kitchen scissors and then send a jolt through it with my thundershock to totally screw up the wiring?" Everybody eyed Pichu suspiciously.
"Pichu!" Master Hand boomed.
"Okay, okay, fine, I DID THAT TOO! But, seriously, why would I put sulpheuric acid in every single root beer bottle?" Everybody stared at Pichu. "What?"
"Pichu, you know what KIND of corrosive acid it is! So you probably did that, too."
"Okay, FINE!" the rodent squeaked. "I did it! I did it all! ...Except for the butter in the hallway!"
Master Hand looked towards Young Link. (?)
"Hey, I helped him get out of there!" the young Hylian defended.
Adult Link stood up. "It's true."
"Very well then…" Master Hand continued. "Did you see who put down the butter?"
"Yellow and black streak. That's all I saw." Link answered. Everybody looked at Pichu.
"It wasn't me!" the Pokemon squeaked. And after a moment of silence…. "Fine. Yes it was."
"Pichu, two-week suspension. Everybody else, dismissed."
Just outside the conference room, Crazy Hand floated drunkenly through the halls. "Whee! Busch Gardens in Pop Star!" it squealed before collapsing in a heap.
"Ahem! Smashers, one more question!" Master Hand yelled. "There was stage blood on the stairs this morning, so-"
"Ehehehehehe…" Ness said sheepishly. "That was me…."
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"Okay, that's all, folks!" announced Numdenu.
"Hey, Num?" Young Link asked, "why are we still in story format?"
"Because I want it to be so." She answered. "Now then, review, my loyal fans! Review! And fear the script format, YL!"
Young Link: Huh?