written
flashbacks
dreams
'thoughts'
Warnings for child abuse, language, rape, violence, self-harm, suicide, insanity, murder, character death and torture.
Sixth year started like any other. But for Draco things were never going to be normal, never going to be ok again.
He wasn't eating. He wasn't sleeping at night. He hardly spoke to anyone.
It wasn't hard to get hold of the poison.
On the second week of school he left the Slitherine dormitories in the middle of the night and climbed the stairs to the astronomy tower.
How Severus found him he wasn't sure. He was glad it was his godfather he would spend his last moments with though.
Snape was holding him by the shoulders, demanding to know what he'd taken.
Calmly he explained there was no antidote, that was why he'd chosen it.
"No..."
"Yes. I'm sorry Sev, I never wanted to hurt you. You should have been my father. I love you. And... and Harry too." He laughed. "Even if he is a stupid Griffindor. I'm so sorry... but I can't stay here. I'm not afraid anymore."
The poison was starting to take effect. The world began to fade away, into a silent numb void. Nearly over.
I'll never forget you Severus. You were the only one who ever tried to help. But I have to go now.
It was cold in the dungeons. He was shivering despite the bony arms wrapped around him. But he felt safe, at least for a moment, in his godfather's embrace and smiling he fell asleep.
I tried to help. I hope I managed to make some kind of difference, the make the world you're fighting for a little easier to attain.
"Goodbye," he mouthed.
Snape was crying. Draco couldn't see anymore but he could feel the tears dripping onto his face. He knew he was going to die soon. Gripping Severus' robe with numb fingers he held even more tightly onto every halfway good memory he had. Then the life behind his silver eyes disappeared.
Snape backed away from the body. Pushing the heels of his hands against his eyes he started to rock back and forth on the stone floor of the tower. "No," he whispered again. "You can't be dead. Draco... why are you dead?"
The lifeless form made no reply.
Goodbye. There's nothing left to be afraid of anymore.
I had to do this. I wasn't going to be a deatheater. I wasn't going to let my father sell my soul as well as his own. So I have to go now. I can't stay. Please don't be sad for me. I'll never forget everything you did for me. Thank you for trying. But I can't do this anymore. I want to die. I love you. But it hurts too much. I can't face the world anymore. I'm glad it's finally going to be over.