A/N: things are going DOWN in this chapter. I hadn't intended this particular scene to happen this soon, but I was writing and it just felt right...thank you for reading

"I think I want to get a tattoo," she tells Percy nervously, watching him out of the corner of her eye for his reaction.

She planned the date this time; a battle of the bands event in the band shell at a public park nearby (the best kind of date because it was free), which they had intended to bring Nik to until Piper snatched him up, wagging her finger at them.

(She'd claimed they needed 'alone time' every once in a while, and besides, Auntie Piper hadn't gotten nearly enough Nik-love lately, what with the second round of midterms crucifying them all.)

"Really? Do you have something specific in mind, or do you just want one in general?" he asks, curious, head in her lap as she runs her fingers through his hair, resisting the urge to purr.

"Something specific. A branch with two birds…" she trails off, not making eye contact. "I-I don't really want to talk about what it means right now, if that's okay, because it kind of hurts to think about. But I'd like to tell you someday."

"Whenever you're ready, I'll be honored to hear it," he promises, squeezing her knee lightly.

She opens her mouth to respond, but before a sound escapes her she catches sight of white blond hair, some three rows ahead of them. She gasps in air without meaning too, feeling her heart rate rise and terror fill her; he's here, he's here and Nik isn't with her, and now she's put Percy in danger.

She sputters out, "He found me, he found me, he found me," too quiet for Percy's ears- but he realizes something is wrong when he can feel her shaking.

"Wise Girl? Annabeth? Hey, what's wrong?" Sitting up, worry floods him at the horror on her face, skin paler than he's ever seen it. "Annabeth, you have to breathe, okay? Just breathe, baby, you're okay, come on."

By now, he's turned around, but though his face isn't the one from her nightmares, Annabeth can't feel the relief she wants to, and she's too lost inside her own mind to acknowledge Percy.

(Because it could be him, and maybe it's not this time, but one day it will be. He'll find her.)

Overwhelmed, Percy keeps whispering without a clue as to what set her off, saying every possible thing he can come up with to comfort her but to no avail.

"Let me." While they'd bumped into Nico shortly after arriving, he'd gone off to experience the concert on his own, so his voice is the last one Percy expected.

"Neeks, I don't know what happened, but I'm really worried, I don't—"

"Panic attack," Nico says by way of explanation, no preamble, scooting next to Annabeth on the grass. "Hey Annabeth, I don't know where you're at in your head right now, but you're here, okay? We're in the park, you, me, and Percy, and we're completely safe. We're gonna get you home now, so you feel more secure, but I promise we're here with you and you're okay, alright?"

Her eyes move faintly, and Percy haphazardly shoves their sprawled belongings into the canvas bag they'd lugged along, helping Nico pull Annabeth to her feet.

Slowly, they make their way back to the apartment building, Percy holding onto Annabeth's hand to remind her he's there silently as Nico keeps reminding her that she is okay, that they are with her. By the time they approach the complex, she nods in response to his words, feeling less liable to fall apart despite the exhaustion and shakiness throughout her body.

They step inside the apartment to a smiling Piper, whose expression quickly turns to concern as Percy moves forward to speak to her. Without a word, Annabeth holds her hands out and Piper places Nik into them, and it's this, this visceral reminder of where she is and of Nik's safety that really makes her feel like herself again.

"I'm okay," she assures them quietly. "Go ahead home, Pipes. I need to be with him right now, and I think after Percy leaves we're both going to take a long nap.

A nap likely to be ridden with nightmares, but a modicum of rest, at least.

Piper presses a kiss to her cheek softly, grasping Nik's tiny fingers before heading out, mirroring Percy's pained expression.

"I'm, uh, gonna leave you two to it, but…if you ever want to talk about them, or anything, I get it. I got them really bad for a while…still do, every once in a while, if I get triggered bad enough."

"Thank you, Nico. Really." He shrugs before leaving as well, and Percy carefully sits next to Annabeth on the futon, unsure as to whether or not she wants to be the first one to speak.

When she doesn't, shoulders still curved in her body a bit like she's scared, he starts to talk like he always does when she gets nervous, knowing it's easier to open up once someone else has without feeling weak.

"I…I've never had one," he admits. "I have no idea what you're feeling right now. But I have been that kind of scared before, and I know it takes a lot out of you, so I really want to make sure you eat and drink something before you lay down, okay?"

She nods without making eye contact, then asks in an undertone, "What happened to Nico? If—if you don't think he'd mind me knowing."

"He wouldn't," Percy replies, eyebrows scrunching up. "It's, uh, touchy for him to talk about, but he doesn't care if people know. His older sister, Bianca…well, their dad isn't exactly the best guy out there. He pissed some people off, and…they retaliated. Came after Bianca and Nico while they were walking home from the bus stop a few years ago. She threw him up into a dumpster as soon as she heard the first shot, but she didn't make it."

"God, that's awful," she whispers. "He must be in so much pain…"

"We've each had our very own hell, haven't we?" he says with a bitter tone.

So many times over. "Yeah. Yeah we have."

"We, um, we don't have to talk about today, if you don't want to. I mean, if you do, I would love to be here however you need, but I kind of get the feeling that you aren't ready yet, and I just meant that that's okay because I know you're still kind of mentally dealing with a lot, but I kind of don't want to leave you here alone after that and also if you're not feeling super safe and all I know if it were me I would feel better having someone else there, and now I'm just rambling," he ends abruptly, neck reddening.

"You—you want to stay?"

"Of course." He reaches out cautiously to tuck a stray lock of hair behind her ear, relaxing internally at the sight of her functioning starting to look more familiar. "I can lay down on the floor, and I don't—we don't have to, um, do anything, that's not—I just, really think it would be good for you to not be alone, and also I don't want to leave you while I'm worried about you."

He blushes at the subject, them not having had a real conversation about anything remotely sexual yet, but she doesn't take it the wrong way, moving to lay Nik down before responding.

"Okay."

Percy's eyes widen in shock, having expected to have to beg a little more, but she nods deliberately as if knowing he's doubting his ears.

"I—you can lie on the futon with me, but I—I need you to be in front of me," the words slip out of her unintentionally, desperately, and she stares at her feet to avoid seeing his reaction to the odd request.

Because she wants to lie down with Percy—thus far in their relationship, his presence had always soothed her, made her feel the slightest bit safe, and truly, after today she wanted nothing more than to curl into him.

(But to wake up with a man in bed behind her, unable to see his face and remind her razor-edged instincts that it was Percy—few things would be more terrifying.)

"Whatever you need," he reminds her softly, before helping her to pull the futon out into bed form.

Slowly, he climbs on and to the far side, hoping to not be boxed in by the wall might make her more comfortable, and she slides beneath the thick quilt beside him. Breathing shallow, she lets him delicately hold her close, lips touching to her forehead before she tucks her head into his chest.

"I've got you," he promises in a quiet whisper.

He has no idea what it is that haunts her, and as much as he wants her to open up to him whenever she's able, wants to help her through whatever this is, the thought of finally knowing scares him stiff.

(Because whatever fire it is that she's had to drag herself through, whatever someone has done to traumatize the mind-blowingly strong creature he's lucky enough to hold in his arms, it's something bad. Really, really bad.)

It makes him quiver with rage in a way that frightens him just to think about, makes him want to hunt down whoever dared take a sliver of the light from her eyes.

(And he doesn't know how well he'll handle knowing the extent of it.)

/

\

/

"Did you really think I wouldn't find you, Bethy?" His lecherous hands slide around her and she flinches violently, mentally screaming, trapped in his arms, as she has been for so many years.

"Let me go! Please, please, just let me go," she begs, her voice breaking.

Nik begins to sob: real, chest-heaving sobs of fear, despairing as she slams against his grip to get to her baby.

"What is that?" His voice is ice, and he drags her to the playpen where Nik lies screeching.

"He's-he's a friend's son, I'm just watching him, I swear."

"It doesn't matter whose he is, he won't be an issue much longer."

She screams as he reaches for the helpless boy without any idea as to the danger he's in, screams as her dream morphs into him crushing her, kneeling over her and muttering obscenely in the home she grew up in.

"Annabeth!"

She jerks alert, wetness on her face and her heart racing a million miles an hour.

"I—sorry if I woke you," she pants breathlessly, fanning at the sweat on her neck.

"Wise Girl, I don't care if I have to wake up ten times a night if I can help snap you out faster." He frowns, gently stroking the side of her face. "That sounded like a bad one."

"Yeah, not my most peaceful rest ever," she acknowledges. You're here, Annabeth. You're with Percy, Nik is safe, and he is nowhere near you. She repeats the reminder, but the part of her that learned a long time ago that escape was impossible denies it.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"I…I think I might." The confession is hesitant, and Percy feels his own eyes widen in surprise, but quickly straightens up, moving into a criss-cross-applesauce kind of position, all of his attention focused on her.

"It…fuck, I have no idea how to do this," she admits, and she and Percy both let out an abbreviated laugh before she sighs and tries to get it together.

(How does one put it into words, calmly explain the horrors of their life? Percy had done it and she'd never stopped to appreciate how well the words flowed.)

"My home situation…" she breaks off, shakes her head, tries again. "Nik's conception wasn't intentional," she begins. "He…it was…" Annabeth bites her lip, beginning to tremble, but remembers Luke's words: acknowledge the reality of what you've been through. She can do this. Just say it.

"I was raped."

The words are out, and it hurts, and Percy's intake of breath is sharp, but she can't face him, can't see what must be running through his eyes, so she continues. "It wasn't, um, the first time. My stepmother's younger brother…he moved in with us right after my dad died. He was seventeen at the time, and he started…pretty soon after.

"I told Helen a year or so later. She didn't care." She says the words without emotion, but then water starts sliding down her face before she can stop it, and Percy can't bring himself to speak but reaches to wipe at the tears.

"That's why I ran away. I told Thalia, and she tried to tell the police when they sent me back, but…Helen has a great reputation in the community. No one believed it. I was set to go to an Ivy, as far as they knew, but as soon as I found out about Nik, I had to get out. That's why I ended up at NYU. If he'd found out about him…if he'd been a girl…" Trailing off, she nervously looked up at Percy, only to find tears pouring from his eyes.

"Annabeth," he whispered, voice cracking.

He's always known the statistics—one in five women is assaulted in her lifetime, a number and a concept his mom has drilled into his head since he knew what girls were.

(But knowing about this abstract atrocity done to women around the world doesn't mean you would ever guess the one you've fallen in love with has survived it. Doesn't mean you could ever begin to fathom what happens to a person who's been through it.)

"I can't even…I can't even imagine. You are so, so strong. That bastard…hell isn't good enough for him."

He reaches for her in that slow, careful way of his, the way he's tried to since he picked up on her aversion to unexpected physical touch weeks ago, and she lets him hold her, basking in the righteous anger splayed across his face on her behalf.

"I'm sorry," she whispered back, and he recoiled, locking eyes with her.

"What the fuck could you possibly be sorry for?"

"I don't know, I just…it's a lot to take on, and it's heavy, and a lot in a girlfriend who already has a kid, and now this…"

"Yeah, it's heavy, Annabeth—and you've carried it all alone, on top of everything else you've been through, and you've loved Nik like nothing in this world, been the most amazing mother—"

A sob tears out of Annabeth's throat, and she shakes her head vehemently. "I'm not, I'm not, I'm really not."

"But you are, baby, Nik is the luckiest—"

"No!" she shouts, her tongue rising two octaves. "You don't understand."

"Then tell me, Wise Girl. I promise, there is not one thing you could possibly tell me that will affect the way I feel about you. I love you."

Her heart stutters, and she wants to say it back, wants to admit that she's loved him for a lot longer than she probably should've, but that's not the topic that wants to consumer her mind at the moment, so those aren't the words spilling out of her mouth.

"I…about two years ago." Raspy, nervous, pained, suffering more than he's ever heard her, she speaks. "I found out I was pregnant. I was stupid, thought I could hide the baby…

"But he figured it out. He and Helen beat me and plied me with alcohol till I miscarried." The last words are ground together, between the heavy sobs escaping her. "That's what the tattoo is. One bird on the branch, for Nik, and the other flying, for the baby that died. All my fault. That's why I was so quick to get out as soon as I found out about Nik."

Because my baby has already died because of me, because how could I fail another? She wants to beg him.

Her crying grows stronger, and he breathes deeply, trying to put himself together enough to comfort her because goddammit she's the one struggling, Jackson, get it together and be there for her already.

"My god, Wise Girl…no wonder you're so sad. That kind of loss, that kind of guilt, even though you don't deserve to carry it…to lose a kid is the worst pain in this world. I'm so sorry you went through that."

"But he—you didn't sign up for—I just feel like a chaotic mass of wreckage. I'm an unnecessary complication, you have enough going on, and you don't need to deal with my problems."

"Did he tell you that?" Percy's tone is venomous, more angry than she's every heard him. "Annabeth…to know you, to love you, is the greatest thing I've ever done. You're a mess because someone hurt you, and yeah, I want to kill him, but that has no impact on my feelings for you, okay? I love you, I love your son, I love the unborn child we'll never get to know, and nothing anyone has ever done to you changes that."

And Percy's presence might not wish away the nightmares, wish away the monsters that still haunt her every second, but it sure helps her fall asleep, and even when the nightmares come again, a whisper in her brain reminds her that she might not be alone anymore through the torture.