Suspicious minds
Kim looked up from the patterns she was idly stirring in her mocha. "Shannon? How long have you been studying martial arts?"
"Since I was 5, Pumpkin. I saw 'Enter the Dragon' on TV one afternoon and all I could think was 'I wanna do that!'. I bugged my parents for two weeks straight until they finally gave in and signed me up for classes just to shut me up."
"I figured as much. You just move so smoothly and effortlessly, it's like you were raised in a dojo, and there's a lot of Jeet Kune Do in your style. But there's something more than that. It's like, somehow, you're always moving and you're never where I expect you to be when I try to hit you. It's really frustrating", Kim added with a small humph of annoyance.
"That would be the Bù cúnzài, Kimmie. It's a very ancient, very obscure style from Tibet that only a few old monks way up deep in the mountains know any more. I got to learn it through a complicated set of circumstances involving bribery, blackmail and blind chance."
Kim looked up sharply at her at that, so Shego was quick to add "Don't worry, Princess, it wasn't blackmail for anything really bad. Just some financial shenanigans by a degenerate gambler who also liked the teahouse girls a bit too much. He was actually a pretty cool guy; quite a character." At Kim's not-mollified look, Shego said "What? Villain, remember? Criminal lifestyle, compromised morals? Ring a bell? Besides, he didn't want to teach a woman. What was I going to do?"
Kim humphed some more, but seemed to accept this. "Yeah, okay. It's just that, I keep forgetting you're evil. Were evil. A criminal. Whatever." Kim did have trouble, lately, remembering that. Shego was like a completely different person these days. Well, not completely different, that would be boring, and so not Shego, but certainly not villainous. At least not as much as Kim had always imagined.
Kim thought again about how things weren't necessarily as black and white as she had always thought. She had always divided people up into Good, like her family and friends and people like Dr. Director, and the people that she helped, and Bad, like all the villains including, until recently, Shego.
There were still a lot of people somewhere in the middle, like Dr. Bortel, but she always thought of him as more clueless than anything, just not thinking about the consequences of his inventions. Maybe it wasn't always so simple? After all, there was the example of Shego, sitting right in front of her. She thought about Señor Senior, Senior, and his 'rules' of villainy. If you had rules and a code of conduct, how could you be as bad as someone like Gemini? Worldwide Evil Empire, hello?
So, maybe there were a lot more shades of 'good' and 'evil' than she had imagined. Bonnie was a complete and utter rhymes-with-witch, but she was still on the 'good' side of the spectrum, unlike, say, Monkey Fist, who was generally polite and well-mannered, but clearly and proudly evil. So, where was Shego these days? Not evil, not a good guy. Still a bit of a criminal, even if she hadn't done anything since the Hyperbolic Sequential Analyzer incident in Switzerland.
Heck, even in that sitch, Shego had seemed more interested in the fighting than in anything else. And she hadn't even tried to get away with the device? Maybe she was just a bad girl now, even if she did things a little worse than shoplifting and being naughty. Kim's mind somehow flashed on the 'bad girls are more fun' idea and had some trouble letting go of it, since it give her a little tingle to think about it. It was kinda true, after all.
Kim then had another thought, one that temporarily put thoughts of sexy bad girls away. "Oh, oh, can you teach me Bù cúnzài? Huh, please? Pleeease?" Kim tried very hard not to use the Pout, but she really really did want to learn. No way was she going to give up on this.
"You know, if you want me to teach you, you're gonna have to stop being so persistent about it. It's annoying."
"Aw, come on, Shannon." Kim tried for her biggest, most innocent smile. "It sounds really useful, and think how much better it would make our fights."
Shego could not believe she'd let the girl do this to her. She supposed it was her own fault for bringing it up in the first place. Oh well, at least it would give them an excuse to spar regularly. "They're already pretty damn good, Princess. Oh, don't you dare give me that look." Adorable as it is. "Okay, okay, all right. Jesus. You just don't know how to give up, do you?"
"Doy! Have we met? My name's Kim Possible."
Shego had to chuckle. "Yeah, I walked right into that, didn't I?"
Kim's smile was even bigger, and had a touch of gleeful evil about it. "Yup, you sure did. So, are you gonna teach me, or am I going to have to use serious measures?"
"Oh no, Princess, not that damn face. Don't you dare use that. I'll teach you already. It focuses mostly on movement and not being where you were an instant ago. That's something you're pretty good at already, so this should be fun for you."
Ron was standing across the street from a very weird-looking coffee shop. What kind of name was 'Espresso Hell', anyway? 'Coffee dark as eternity, strong as the devil, and hot as hell'? Now that just made no sense at all. Kim had gone in 10 minutes ago,and Ron was trying to think of an excuse for 'bumping into' her. It had seemed like such a good idea when he had started tailing her, hoping she wouldn't notice him a block behind. Fortunately, traffic was thick enough that not only couldn't she see him, his asthmatic scooter could keep up with her dad's car.
Now, it didn't seem like such a good idea at all. What was he going to say, 'Hey, Kim, I was just in the area and thought I'd get some coffee'? By this time, Ron had determined that there was no way Kim could see him from where she was sitting, and had crossed the street and was crouching below the window, trying to sneak a look through all the posters and flyers. One caught his eye, and he smiled a big Ron-smile. Oh yeah. No problemo. He'd just walk in, say he had heard about the music nights, and came by to check it out. No big, right? Then he could finally get to the bottom of all this Shannon business.
Ron reached inside himself for any inner strength he could find, hoping the MMP would come through. It didn't, but something did, a combination of his inner Ronness and his concern for Kim. He opened the door and took a look inside. His first sight was the woman behind the counter, who was covered - covered! in tattoos; and did she have rings stuck through her face? Gah! The was just sick and wrong.
Ron was just about to turn around and run out the door before she attacked him, but then she looked up from whatever she was reading and - looked at him, like she was deciding whether to cook him or eat him raw - and he couldn't move. Ohhh-kay, this was weird. Oh god, did she have a monkey tattooed on her? Okay, no, it was just snakes or something. Sheesh, that was close.
Apparently, she had decided not to eat him after all, and went back to her reading. Okay Ron, you're good here, you're good. Ah, there was Kim, sitting with some woman with black hair. Okay, dude, you can do this. Just walk on over. Big, innocent smile. "Oh, hi, KP! I just stopped in to ask about the WHAT THE HELL? SHEGO?" Both women at the table looked up in various amounts of shock and horror. "Kim? Why are you sitting and drinking whatever that is with the woman who keeps trying to KILL US?"
"Relax, Stoppable. Princess' friend didn't show up, and I came in to get some coffee, so I thought I'd stop and bug Kimmie for a while."
ThankyouShegothankyouShegothankyouShego. Kim's brain had locked up the moment she saw Ron.
"You just happened to be in the neighborhood?", asked Ron incredulously.
"I was out, picking up some things for the lair. I come here a lot; I know some of the people who work here."
Like that creepy-looking chick with the tattoos? She seemed like exactly the sort of person Shego would hang around with. Did Shego have tattoos? Who knew with that catsuit. Ron wondered what kind of tattoos someone like Shego would have. Eew, Ron. Wrongsick. Wrongsick!
Although she wasn't wearing the catsuit, Ron now noticed. She had on - normal clothes. Still green and black, but normal. She hardly looked scary at all.
"You didn't get hit with the Attitudinator, did you?"
"Nope, it's the real me. Sit down, Stoppable. I won't bite."
"Mindcontrol chip?"
"No."
"Body swapped?"
"No!"
"Synthodrone?"
"NO! Sit."
Ron sat down cautiously. He still had a very bad feeling about this.
Kim's thought processes had finally gotten started again. "Please, Ron. It's fine. We're having a truce."
"Yeah, we're off the clock. Two professionals chatting after work. Just like Ralph and Sam."
"Ralph and Sam? From the cartoons? Oh, right. KP, do you believe that?", Ron asked, rolling his eyes.
"Relax, Ron", Kim said, putting her hand on his arm. "Tomorrow we'll be right back to being enemies. Right now we're having coffee and talking about martial arts styles. Shego was telling me about Bù cúnzài, from Tibet. She's going to show me some moves sometime."
Shego decided to ignore the variety of responses to that line that were now going through her head.
"And she's going to do this why? She's going to teach you all the wrong moves and then she'll be able to get you the next time, that's what she's trying to do!" Ron was getting a bit worked up.
Still ignoring. Still ignoring.
"No, Stoppable. I just want to even her up a little. It's no fun if I defeat her too easily." A teasing smirk towards Kim.
"Oh, in your dreams, you'll defeat me. I'm so taking you down next time." A teasing smirk back.
Still ignoring...
Ron was perplexed. They should be throwing insults back and forth at each other, or just fighting. Instead, they seemed to be...getting along, like - friends. Had they already done the fighting and decided to stop before the place got destroyed? There didn't seem to be anything broken, or any burn marks on anything. Oookay, this was definitely one of the weirder sitches they'd ever been in that didn't involve getting bodyswapped or being stuck to someone else. He would just sit here and watch, and make sure that Kim wasn't being mind controlled or anything. And then maybe have one of those kinda tasty-looking snack things they seemed to be eating.
Rufus seemed to be having the same thoughts. He slithered up out of Ron's pocket and ran over to investigate Kim's plate. Kim did not seem to appreciate this. "Rufus! That's mine! Go get your own."
"Great. He brought the rodent. I thought it smelled like cheese in here." Shego really didn't like the smell of cheese any more. Every time she smelled the stuff, or thought about it, her mind went back to the Wisconsin incident and she shuddered again. Her hair had smelled like cheese for a week. Honestly, a lair made of cheese? Whose idiot idea had that been? Oh yeah, Dr. Dumbass's. Who else? 'I thought it was a cheese-covered building, Shego!' Jesus. Cheese, a laser drill, and magma? What part of that didn't scream 'failure'? Of course, she had gone along with it, so what did that say about her? Well, she had been pretty much in it for the evil back then. Good thing Kimmie had come along and eventually given her some perspective.
"Sitting right here, Shego. And for your information, I just gave him a bath. Kind of a little incident with a number 10 can of Naco sauce and too much time watching synchronized swimming. Women's synchronized swimming", Ron added quickly, noticing two curious looks. "With those skimpy little bathing suits? I mean, Rufus was watching! Uh, heh heh." Ron was wishing he could crawl into his own pocket like Rufus and disappear. Out of sight, out of range, right?
Rufus was more concerned with the delicious-smelling thing Kim was eating. Maybe he could just get a taste? He didn't want to get slapped again. He decided to try his version of the puppy-dog pout.
It seemed to be working. "Oh, fine. Here. Just a piece." Boo-ya! "Yum! Really good." Would Ron get the hint already? Apparently not. He would have to grab Ron's ear again to get his attention.
"Ow! Rufus! Oh yeah, that does look really good. Let's go get something to eat, buddy!"
"Hey Stoppable - tell Karina we need another round, would ya?"
As soon as Ron had left, Shego turned to Kim and said "You know he's following us, right?"
"Well, specifically, following me. I'll have a talk with him. But he's only doing it because he's worried about me."
"Worried about the fact that you have another friend?"
"Well, more like worried that maybe I'm making excuses not to spend time with him a lot these days. We sort of had the talk a while back? You know, the one you and I discussed, about him trying to be a better boyfriend? Anyway, he's a little sensitive about it still. He keeps thinking I'm about to break up with him. Especially since the Rufus incident last week." Kim thought back to that not-quite-disastrous Chinese food date. She still couldn't believe she'd had to tell him not to bring Rufus along on a date. Well, at least that wouldn't ever happen again.
And again, Princess, why aren't you? I know you're a saint and all, but even Mother Theresa would tell the kid to get stuffed if he pulled half the shit that Stoppable did. "I do not understand you two, Princess. It's like the two most incompatible people in the world are dating."
"What can I say, Shannon? I love him."
There it was. The horrible truth Shego had been expecting to hear for weeks now, the thing that guaranteed Shego had lost, and truly had no chance. You know, aside from the whole heterosexuality business. Kimmie loved the buffoon. Shego fought the voice in her head, the one that had shown up recently and had been annoying the hell out of her ever since, that insisted she call him 'Stoppable'. What was the point, anyway? The whole thing was hopeless, what was the point of 'reforming'?
Shego shook her head to try and clear those thoughts, and was reminded what the point was when she saw Kimmie's face, lips pursed against the rim of her glass, olive eyes concentrating on some inner thought. Her breath caught, as it always did, when she saw the redhead in an unguarded moment. Shego strengthened herself and put all the other thoughts away.
"I know you do, Princess. I don't understand it, but I know it. You're a pretty special person."
Again, Kim was surprised at the inensity of the feeling that went through her at that. "Well, you're a pretty special person yourself, Shego."
Ron came back with a trayful of drinks and plates, and set them down on the table. "I don't know about this place, KP. They don't have hot chocolate or Cocoa Moo or anything. And when I asked for those little marshmallows, the scary chick at the counter just gave me a really dirty look."
"Anyway, she made me this moka-thing. It's supposed to have a lot of chocolate in it. She even offered to Grande-size it for me. Except she called it a triple, for some reason..."
Shego smirked. This should be fun to watch, like a particularly entertaining train wreck.
Kim winced a little at that description. Karina wasn't really that scary, not once you got to know her. "Oh, that's Karina. She's really cool. She has these awesome tattoos that go all down her back." Kim stopped when she realized what she had just said, and Ron's confused reaction to it. "Um, I mean she showed me. You know, right here. I asked her about them and she just pulled her shirt up and showed them to me." Why was she so worried about what Ron would think? She knew why she was so embarrassed.
Ron was having trouble processing this. The idea of that girl - Karina? - who really was kind of hot, in spite of all the weird stuff, suddenly pulling up her shirt like that was pretty distracting. I mean, whoah - half-naked girl here, right in front of you! Boo-yah! He tried thinking about her sitting on a horse, wearing a G-string and holding a bloody sword. Yeah, that was hot.
On the other hand, scary! Really scary. Okay, not Shego-scary, not monkey-scary, but she had kept looking at him like he was dinner. Kim must have thought she was scary too, since she was so nervous about it. Still, Kim seemed to be handling it okay. Maybe he could take her word for it. He was more worried about Shego sitting right there with them.
"Sure thing, KP. Heh heh. If you say so. Awesome, right. Not scary at all. Heh." Ron stopped talking, because he had absolutely no idea what to say next. He concentrated on not thinking about half-naked chicks with weapons.
There was an uncomfortable silence until Kim broke it. "So, Ron. Want to tell me why you were following me?"
"Huh? What? Following you? No, KP, I just came in to ask about the music nights, and here you were. You two. Sitting here. Together. Heh. What a coincidence, huh?"
"Ron." Kim gave her best friend, now her boyfriend, a hard look. He tried holding out, and managed to make it for an entire two seconds. Shego was impressed, although she would never let it show. She wouldn't have been able to hold out that long. This girl was damn scary herself with those faces.
"Okay, okay. You're right, I was following you. I'm worried, Kim. You never want to play video games any more, you keep telling me you don't have time for Bueno Nacho - Bueno Nacho, Kim!, and now you like coffee? It's all just so wrong. I wanted to find out what was going on. I thought maybe this Shannon person was mind-controlling you or something."
"Seriously, Ron? Mind controlled?"
"Well, it's happened", Ron grumped.
"Okay, point. But couldn't you have just asked me?"
Ron rubbed the back of his neck. "Uh, yeah, I guess that would have been a better idea. But I didn't want you to think I was worried about you. And you have to admit, it all sounds a little weird. And if you had been mind-controlled? KP, it wouldn't have been very pretty if I did just come out and ask you, would it?"
"You gotta admit, Princess, he's got a point there. The last time you got chipped, you went and captured him and brought him straight to Drakken."
"Um, Shego? I let her catch me. Duh. It was all part of the plan. What kind of idiot do you think I am? Don't answer that!"
"Ron - that was your idea? That's so sweet."
"Well, actually, it was your brothers' idea. Uh-heh. You know, for a couple of little terrors, they're pretty smart."
"Yeah, they are. I know that now. But back on track? You were sneaking around, following me, all because I have a new friend now?"
"And you're drinking coffee. And bailing on Bueno Nacho. Kim, what was I supposed to think?"
Kim cringed inside with guilt. Looking at it from Ron's point of view, it all did sound pretty suspicious. She sighed. At least they were finally getting this out in the open. "You're right, Ron. I have been ditching you a lot lately. I should have just been honest and come out and told you about it. I wanted to, I just didn't know how. I thought you'd freak if I said anything."
"Well, you were right about that, Kimmie."
"Shego. Not helping. Ron, I'm sorry. Forgive me?"
"Of course, KP. I could forgive you anything, you know that. But what's the deal with Shannon? Who is she?"
Ulp. Kim really should have thought about this moment so she could have figured out something to say. Now she'd have to improvise without actually lying. "Uh, she's someone I met on a mission. She's a few years older than me, and she knows about all kinds of interesting things I'd never heard of, like music and art and literature and things."
Ron broke in. "That sounds like school stuff, Kim. Not sure why you want to talk about that."
"Well, I think it's interesting, Ron. And I think she's interesting. Anyway, we kept running into each other and one night she asked me out for coffee. It turns out she lives around here, so we wound up getting together when we had a chance."
"Hey Princess - do you think I'm interesting?"
"Don't you have to use the bathroom, Shego?"
All right, when did that change? Up until right now, her answer would have been "No, I'm good here" as she sat and watched the show. But now, somehow, the first words out of her mouth were "Okay, fine. I'll give you two some privacy." She hadn't noticed herself feeling any different, Shego thought as she went up to the counter to get the key. She still loved teasing Kimmie and watching her squirm, but now she didn't even want to argue about it if the girl asked her not to.
And the strangest thing? It felt great. Shego had never really given much of a shit about anyone or their feelings before, but if this was what it felt like, she'd have to change her attitude about that. Or maybe it only felt that way with Kimmie. Being in love had a way of doing that, she dimly remembered.
Ron was still wrapping his head around the idea of Kim liking all this weird smart-people stuff. He had always known that she was a lot smarter than he was, but that had never been a problem for them before. He really hoped he wasn't losing his best friend, not to mention his girlfriend. Okay, Ron, don't panic. She's smart, she's just expanding her interests. Just because she's hanging out with someone else and passing up Bueno Nacho, that doesn't mean you're losing her. She just gets things from Shannon that she can't get from you.
That made sense. They probably talked about girl stuff. Ron tried, yet again, to imagine what strange, mysterious things girls talked about when they were alone. He wasn't having any more success this time. He put those thoughts out of his mind before he strained something again. He was still a little curious, though.
"Okay, KP. I wanna meet this woman. Any friend of yours is a friend of mine!", Ron said proudly. "Bring her to Bueno Nacho. I can always tell what a person is like over a platter of Chimirritos."
Oh crap. She really hadn't thought this through, had she? Now what was she going to do? Kim thought frantically, but nothing came to mind except 'hope a mission comes up'. Okay, okay, Kim. You don't need to panic. I'm sure Shego will think of something. She's good at all that being deceitful and lying about stuff. But you need to say something pretty much right now, or Ron's going to get suspicious.
"Um... she can't. She's...a vegetarian."
"Oh, KP. That's why the have the salads, duh!"
Shego was trying to explain the Ralph-and-Sam concept to Ron. It wasn't easy.
"Look, Stoppable. Do I ever try to hurt you?"
"You put us in death traps all the time." Ron waved his arms around wildly to try and make his point.
"Other than that. When we're not on the clock?"
"You threw plasma at us that time we found you in Greece."
"You interrupted my vacation, you interrupted my me time at the spa. Have I ever come after you on the street, or waited for you after school?"
"Well, no, but..."
"Then I'm not going to attack you in a coffee shop. Especially not with Princess sitting right here."
"You got that right, Sha...Shego. Because you know I'd kick your butt if you ever tried." Another teasing smile from Kim. What was with all the teasing smiles tonight?
Shego growled. "Oh, if I ever tried, Kimmie, I'd show you whose butt would get kicked."
Kim couldn't resist the opening. "So, you haven't been trying all this time, huh, Shego? The explains a lot of things."
Shego was not going to rise to that. She knew what Kimmie was trying to do. The girl was a bigger tease than she was. She answered back in the same low growl. "Let's just say I could try a lot harder", and let a slight green haze flow around her hand for emphasis.
Kim resisted the urge to stick her tongue out at Shego, and settled for rolling her eyes. "Whatever, Shego. Just get on with it."
"Yeah, yeah. Don't push your luck, Princess. Look. Stoppable. It's really simple. When we're at work, Kimmie and I are enemies. I do stuff, you two try and stop me. When we're not, we're just two people who happen to work on opposite sides. Just like Ralph and Sam did."
Ron had thought he was starting to deal with this incredibly weird sitch, and he had been, pretty much. It made sense, sort of, that KP and Shego could get along in public for 10 minutes without Shego trying to kill her. Shego wouldn't want to attract a lot of attention, right, in a place she came to all the time? She was in civilian clothes, after all. Okay, he could accept that. But the whole Ralph-and-Sam thing? Ralph just tried to steal sheep, not take over the world or put Sam in death traps. The was Shego, for Pete's sake.
"Well, you know, Ralph never tried to put Sam into a death trap."
"And how many of those 'death traps' did you die in? One, I knew you two, well, Kimmie, anyway, could get out of them, and two, I never took away Kimmie's gadgets, or your little rodent thing, did I? What do you think, I'm as clueless as Drakken? I know that they get you out of trouble every time. Like I said, if I wanted to kill you, you've been dead long ago. And three, I might have sometimes sabotaged the things, once or twice. And maybe one of Dr D's deathrays... And if you ever tell anyone about that, either of you, I will put you in so much pain you will wish I had killed you."
Kim and Ron were both momentarily speechless. Kim, at least, had had a little bit of exposure to not-really-evil Shego, although she never would have suspected that the woman was actively trying to help them out. Ron, on the other hand, was trying to deal with everything he had ever known being suddenly the opposite.
"Okay, assuming I even believe that? Why would you do something like that? We're your arch-enemies, remember?"
"Because I don't want to lose you, duh? Kimmie is the best arch-enemy I could ever have. She's the only one I've ever met who could match me. She pushes me to my limits and makes me work for every little thing. I don't ever want to lose that."
"Okay, that kind of makes sense, in a weird way. But why aren't you messing with us now? Being all scary-flaming-hands-Shego?"
"As I just finished explaining, Stoppable, because I'm not doing anything work-related. There are rules of villainy, capisce? Where do you think 'Ralph and Sam' comes from?"
"There are rules of villainy now? How come no one ever told me? And how does that even work?"
"It's simple. If we're not in the middle of anything villainous, we're not gonna do anything to you. You only have to worry about getting hurt if we're on the job. Otherwise, we can be polite, and even friendly, to each other. And we leave the sidekick alone."
"You do what now? When did you ever leave me alone?"
"Only all the time. When you two come after Drakken and me, what happens? I go after Kimmie, and you go after Drakken. If there weren't rules? I would mess with you in a serious way. You're annoying enough, I'd have to, to keep my sanity."
"I don't know whether I should be happy or insulted by that. So that's why you never plasma-toasted me?"
"That's right. You don't just go out and hurt the sidekick. You kidnap him and use him to lure the hero into a trap, maybe, but when you do? You treat him with dignity and respect. It's like the Geneva Convention. Ask Señor Senior Senior about it sometime."
Ron thought about that for a few seconds, then the light dawned. "Ooohhhhh, rriiiiggghhhtt, the Rules of Villainy. Right, you don't kill him, you invite him to dinner. It's not until afterwards that you break out the Spinning Tops of Doom."
"Exactly. And definitely not if you're not interrupting something villainous."
"Huh. So, is that why you're not calling me a buffoon like you usually do?"
"Yeah, well, Kimmie asked me to be nice. I thought I'd shut her up and avoid a fight." She made sure to harrumph and roll her eyes like she was put out about it.
"I didn't exactly ask, Shego."
"Yeah, yeah, to-may-to, to-mah-to. Whatever. I'm being nice, aren't I?"
They had all finished their drinks, and conversation had mostly come to an end, with the three of them pushing crumbs around their plates or spooning up the last dregs of chocolate and whipped cream. The only one not visibly uncomfortable was Rufus, who was happily munching on the last of his cheddar-chive scone and washing it down with an iced pumpkin mocha through the bendy-straw that colorful woman had been nice enough to get for him.
Ron was the first to break. He had been feeling agitated for a while now, although it didn't seem to have as much to do with Shego sitting right freaking there as he would have expected. His thoughts kept bouncing around all over the place, and his hands would not keep still. It was probably time to go.
"So, um, is anyone else feeling really awkweird here, or is it just me?"
"Ah, yeah, Ron. A little bit. I guess we should go, huh?"
"Yeah, I gotta get back. Ah, Drakken's expecting me. See you around, Princess."
"Okay, um, see you the next evil scheme, Sha...Shego."
Ron couldn't really believe he was going to say what he was about to say, but this had been an epically weird time all around. "Right, okay, so, ah, goodbye, Shego. Thanks for being nice and stuff."
Shego still couldn't believe she was being so nice. It was all Kimmie's doing. As she got up to leave, she said "Yeah, you too, Stoppable. You know tomorrow you're back to being 'Buffoon', right?"
"Oh yeah, no problemo. Gotta respect the Rules of Villainy, on duty and off. Ralph and Sam."
Once Shego had left, and Ron had gotten Rufus out of his post-chocloate daze, he realized he didn't want to go home just yet. "So, KP, Bueno Nacho? I'm buyin'."
"Sure, Ron. Bueno Nacho."
"Oh yeah. All is right with the world."
In the main lab of the lair, Drakken was having a great deal of trouble with his plan. It seemed like he had been stuck on Stage 3 forever. What was wrong with his concentration these days? It had been shot ever since Shego had gotten that new ringtone that he heard all the time now. And Shego herself had become a bit of a problem. She'd been gone a lot, more than usual, and she was acting stranger than usual, too. Like her mood swings. She went from happy and smiley to short-tempered and violent frighteningly quickly. He had looked her over, very circumspectly, for another Moodulator, but her brainwaves seemed to be normal.
Still, it was very out of character for her. There had to be a reason. He had a sudden realization - Shego was up to something. She's going to leave me, that's what it is! She's probably going to take up with my cousin again, or Dementor, that little runt. She kept bringing up her contract, too. When did the thing expire, anyway? He really couldn't remember when they had last negotiated it, but it must have been a while ago. Maybe back around the time of the neuro-compliance chip incident? That must be it. Her contract was up for renewal, and she'd never forgiven him for that, so she was going to jump ship and go somewhere else.
Well, that was just swell, wasn't it? The nerve of that woman! After all they had been through together. It was just like her to hold a grudge all this time, just because of a couple of stupid little incidents. Yes, he had probably bored her with his stories of old villainous schemes, but that was part of her job description, wasn't it? It should be. He would have to remember to make sure it got put into the contract this time.
Okay, so maybe it wasn't Eddie or Dementor. He didn't know who it would be. All he knew is that she'd been talking to that 'Sam' person a lot. 'Sam', right. That was clearly a code name of some kind. And that 'Hazelnut Two' business? It was obvious that had to be part of it. It probably had to do with whatever personal hovercraft she was asking for. He was clearly going to have to have a talk with Shego. He wasn't looking forward to that.
Next time: Shego thinks of a way to solve their problem, but a price must be paid.
A/N:
Man, this chapter was hard to finish. I kept trying to end it, and none of the characters would shut up. So, you got this. I hope it worked. Sorry about all the talking.
Bù cúnzài is Chinese for "not there", at least according to Google Translate. It sounds like a terrific name for a martial arts style.
It's been a while since I watched all the episodes. I know they've run into Shego at least once while she was on vacation, but I don't remember the circumstances. I'm going to say that the incident in Greece actually happened. If it didn't, it should have.
Disclaimer:
I own nothing Kim Possible related. You should know this.