A/N: This is overdue. I should have updated this like last week, but I'm doing it now…

I want to thank everyone that's followed or reviewed for me. I love to hear the feedback in reviews. I like to have a buildup rather than a story that lets them make up in one fall swoop. Sorry for any typos. This a one person show-no beta.

Thanks for reading, enjoy. ~ GR :)

BTW sorry for the previous upload mishap if you saw it. I don't know how I manage to screw up the most minor things.

Playlist: If you say so-Lea Michele, Thousand Needles-Lea Michele, The Cave-Mumford & Sons

Previously

"Katniss let go. I'm not going to keep doing this to you or myself. I can't keep seeing the pain in your eyes, the way that you gasp for what could be a last a breath, or the flinches you try to hide."

My mouth opened as if it could smooth things over to keep Peeta with me for just a little longer, but that's Peeta's talent. The golden boy with the sharp silver tongue.

You pulled away and left.

I was left sitting on the cold, hard ground of the forest, surrounded by what once felt like home.

But I didn't realize until now was that I didn't want to be alone. My usual custom to build prison of isolation had spread to more than just me.

My fire had once again seared and charred the comfort of love.

Katniss POV

I've not seen you leave your house in two weeks. I'm worrying the cuticles of my hands, and my heart feels like a thousand needles have come to prick it one by one. Although Sae has come back to my house again I'm not well. Once she leaves my façade drops, as if I was really fooling her. I commonly retreat to a closet. Anyone will do in my case.

As I lay huddle here for hours I can't believe it's true-I've heard a word from you.

When time sets us apart, I try to see why I wanted to break away? I had it all. I had everything that I crave now, but I let it slip through my fingers. This thought just makes me clench my knees to my chest that much harder. But no matter how hard a ball I put myself into or how tight I clench my eyes shut- I won't be able to take back my dishonest words. I was a wick and wild thing. I burst your heart and let myself become a puppet on lonely strings. I let them take me and change me. All of the game.

I'm bleeding I can feel the cool drip against my chest as my nails continue to rip apart the skin surrounding them. It's kind of funny and kind of sad. It's hard to take and it's hard to think anymore. I'm waiting for a day that I'll feel good. I 'm waiting for you to come.

It must have been a miracle that you can see me now. My eyes adjust and I see you now in shades of gray. You kneel down around me, don't look through me, don't let this be a memory that will keep on fading.

You're running fast in the rain. Through a hell I can only imagine. I've only made it much more painful. I feel your chest burning with exertion, I've been making each of you heart beats painful- for years now. I now where we are now, and I realize different your home is to me. It's warm, but even though I'm warming up I notice that a sound, you speaking. I see your mouth moving and your eyes darting around my face. Please don't let me be all but a memory. I don't want to fade away now.

Peeta POV

I hadn't seen you through the window for a whole day. I was steadily growing angry. How could you make me so worried because you weren't watching me train? I've rain the distance of the victor's village 10 times hoping to get a quick glimpse of any part of you. I worked in my garden in the hopes that you'd find the need to travel outside now that I was done training.

I was done waiting. I tried and you'd tried to get one another out of our heads. But I've only let the poison settle and I'm getting lost without you. I've been training, and for what? It's not I want to be alone and away from you forever. But Snow has stolen me from you, and you have damaged me. I had wanted to remember your face, I wanted to know what you wanted. It's what I wanted?

"Why are you avoiding me?" Katniss looked me steadily as rain comes down around us. How didn't I notice her come out of the house? She didn't look angry, however, she looked like she wanted to understand me fluctuating feelings. Isn't that funny.

"I'm not avoiding you!" I shouted. What a lie. I haven't talked to Katniss in a month. I'm a petty good for nothing boy. I need to get my life together, and quick. I can see that I'm hurting her.

"Yes, you are." She replied. This quite tone she was taking was not familiar. I'm all too used to the quick to light anger she usually uses.

"I just need to figure you out. I promise we'll talk." I felt overwhelmed as images of Gale started to cloud my mind, but I fought to remain calm. I can't let the first time I see her in two months start with me ruining it with jealous mania.

"Fine." This is the first time I've seen and heard her say she wanted to be alone with me since before 13. The selfish part of me wanted to keep her, but that wouldn't be right of me. I couldn't ask her to risk her life like that- even for me.

"Peeta just don't go. I'm confused about everything." She all but whispers this to me before continuing. "Now that you see how fucked up I am, you're going to run away and keep what sanity you have left, right? I knew this would happen. How could you love me anymore, I'm a freak!

Am I wrong? I think I hear Katniss implying that we could be something for real. But why? I used to think I loved her. God I wanted to die for her more than once! I was ready to give her up to another man! But she could never decide her feelings. I was wrong for reaching for what I thought I saw she never was in love with me. That' s how I felt. I want to reach for her and take what I can see, but he's pulling me back. Reminding of her game of messages and kisses with Haymitch, her cold glares and lack of thought, my used body for her calming nights, and of course her avoidance and hate in 13.

How could I ever forgive-when you told me to forget and to leave.

I couldn't breathe.

I heard you cry and made your tears subside.

This love I had is no longer home.

That was boy and I've been made into a man.

Cold promises.

"Katniss I'm still in love with you, but that was a different person, place, and time. I'm going to use the lessons I've learned. I can't let you bury the fact that I'm second best."

"Peeta, I can't just keep pushing these feelings underground anymore!" She pulls herself up from the bed to shout. Tears fall down her face, her lips are trembling. "I've messed everything up. You wanted me and I wasn't ready, and I need you and you can't bear to be with me. All I wanted at sixteen was to live. I wasn't ready-for you or for Gale." Her words come out ragged, but sad nonetheless. Just mentioning his name now is making my head cloud.

"Everyone has wanted something from me-literally squeezed the life out of me. How did it come to this? I'm accepting my faults, my wrongs, my feelings, and by God I won't let you murder this. Our time is running out. I can't stop my nightmares of loosing you, and I know you can't stop from letting yours make you scream out."

I stopped breathing when I realized that she still kept close tabs on me. As if being far enough from Gale she could stop being confused and caught her breathe, and finally ran towards me. She stopped to catch her breath. This was odd, I can't seem to wrap my mind around it. I didn't expect to run into this Gale issue so fast or for Katniss to admit she needed me so much.

"How do you supposed we get through this Katniss?" I asked. "I'm being torn apart mentally and physically! One moment we talk and get each other, and the next you suddenly confess love that you never knew you had for me?" The air is bitingly cold and I'm practically gasping for a breath.

"I just wanted to talk, but well I mention things like emotions and you get months of reprieve, or time to try out feelings on your best friend! Me, well I get to be the bad guy. I get tortured and left with a broken life everything I held dear to me taken. The pawn of games squeaks by with a death of her sister, but my whole life is screwed up! What the HELL KATNISS" Why did I just bring up Prim. What the hell was I thinking. That was possibly the cruelest thing I've ever done to her. Short of trying to kill Katniss.

I turned away. Disgusted with myself and my lack of self-control. But after a few minutes of deep breathes-

"Gale, wasn't for me." She said. By now we were standing closer to my house. I expected for her to just rush away after I dared to bring up Prim's death but I was surprised to see that she was sticking it out with me.

Once I turn away I notice that my foot is practically numb enough to imped my escape. I know it's from standing so long in the cold of the victors village. But I'm being selfish this time, Katniss's wellbeing forgotten, and now all I can do is sprint out the last three feet to my steps to my door.

For once in my life, I want to ignore the want to do better and lock myself away from the world. I know Katniss thinks she needs me right now, but I don't think she comprehends the deserving spectrum of this situation. I made a promise to protect her. From me. And this time, I'm never backing out.

When I crash into my door, staggering through my home's front hallway, I notice the shuffle of feet. A small, drip of water hitting the ground that can only mean that she has followed me to the door at the very least. She's standing their as I turn around pitifully shivering from the cold, rejection, frustration? If I look into her eyes I'm sure it will be combination of three each taking a turn at her already weak psyche.

*****To Be Continued*****