When Britt called I didn't answer, right now I'm lost in my head, things are happening so fast.. Am I doing the right thing? Why am I thinking about this now? It's late to go back, I know I want this, I know I want Brittany, it's just hard, it hurts right now and I didn't want to hurt anyone.
After awhile, I don't even know what time it is, I hear the door open, I don't move, someone lies on the bed behind me, arms hug me and I tight my eyes closed trying to not start crying again.
"I'm sorry, I don't know how to make this easier" It's Brittany, I turn to her so we are face to face.
"Don't be, it'll pass, just stay here"
She kisses my head and I close my eyes finally falling asleep.
When I open my eyes again Brittany is still sleeping, we're hugging, I missed her so much, I caress her face and peck her lips, so beautiful. I get up and go into the kitchen where I find Rachel.
"Ehy, how're you feeling?" She asks.
"As a bitch" I say with a small smile.
"Here" She gives me a cup of coffee "What's on your mind?"
"My mind is blurry right now,I don't know what to think so I focus on the only certain thing, I want Brittany, everything else is.. I don't wanna thing about it"
"We're all here for you, whatever you need, even if you just want to sit there and stay quiet I'm here for you"
"Thank you Rach"
We stay there for awhile talking about nothing, just watching some cooking program before Brittany joins us.
We pass the night together but not once they asked me about what I'm gonna do now or about Victoria. There's really nothing to say, I'm gonna keep working, I'm gonna find an apartment and I'm gonna see what happens with Brittany.
Some day later
I already found a new apartment, I was so lucky, it's in the building next to Rachel's, so it's near her and my restaurant and only 10 minutes to Brittany's. They helped me to move my stuff, it wasn't so hard since everything was already packed, Quinn came too, but with Joanna she couldn't do much, she practically just watched us do all the work.
I had to call a lot of people and tell them about the wedding, all of them asked what happened and I just wanted to tell them to fuck off, but I managed to stay calm. Victoria called me twice, we had to decide what to do with the things we had in common, luckily for me it wasn't much, it was weird to see her. She didn't ask me anything, she wasn't even mean to me, I don't know, Brittany said she probably wanted to seem strong and indifferent in my eyes. I didn't ask her anything so I'll never know, she probably wanted to get ride of me as soon as possible.
I planned my weeks as work-work-work, I don't wanna do anything else, I wanna concentrate only to that and be by my self for awhile, I don't wanna fall into Brittany's arms too soon, I have to catch my self together and she seems to understand this.
One month later
I'm cooking at the restaurant, it's been awhile since I cooked, the restaurant was doing so well that I just focused on the managening part hiring a chef instead. But I needed it, I'm so happy right now. Cooking makes me relax, it always had.
My waitress enters and tells me there's something for me at the entrance, I walk there and I see this huge vase of red roses, I smile. I take the note and read "to the most beautiful girl in the world, I can't wait to see you" I take my phone and call Brittany.
"Hey San"
"You didn't have to"
"Didn't have to do what?"
"Oh.. I thought.." Disappointment takes me while I hold the note in my fingers.
"I'm kidding San, when are you free? I would like to take you out"
"Like a date?"
"Yes, would it be ok for you? Maybe I should have talked to you about it, you're probably not ready yet"
"Ehy Britt calm down, it's fine, I'm ready and I really want to go out with you"
"Are you sure?"
"Shut up Britt and thank you for the roses, it was too much"
"Nothing's too much for you"
"So sweet, I have to go back in the kitchen, I'll see you later?"
"Of course, bye"
I come back to work with a huge smile on my face, I can't wait for my date, I'm nervous yes but it'll pass once I'll see her.
I haven't talked to my parents yet, I mean, I told them the wedding is off but when they asked me why I just cut it off, I don't know what they're gonna say. Would they be happy? They love Brittany, but they like Victoria too, they know I was happy with her, I was gonna marry her, I don't even know if Brittany told Susan.
I have to talk to them eventually, they want to move here, I know they would move anyway to be near me, but they need to know things are different now, I'm not gonna married and they aren't gonna become grandparents soon. I'm gonna call them after our first date.
Once the day is over I walk out the restaurant and I see Brittany talking to someone outside, she sees me and smiles to me, I walk to her and she says goodbye to the person and come to me.
"Hi" She says kissing my cheek.
"Hey, what are you doing here?"
"I couldn't wait to see you so I came here as soon as I left work, it's ok?"
"It's amazing" I take her hand and we walk towards my apartment.
"I was thinking.. Are you free tonight?" I nod "Good, are you in the mood to go out with me? As a date I mean"
"Tonight? As now?" I look at my watch and widen my eyes "I have to hurry, I have to prepare myself"
"You're perfect, I would take you out right now if I didn't knew you would freak out like this" She smiles.
"Britt I have to shower and do my hair and the make up.. An-and the clothes, what should I wear?"
"Whatever you want"
"Britt we had this argument everytime we went out, I need to know if I can wear heels, if I can wear casual or if I need a dress, I need t-" She interrupts me.
"Ok ok, you can wear a dress and heels, but if you want to wear casual you can too, ok?"
"What it means? Casual or not? Are we-"
"Oh my God!" She laughs "Wear a dress and heels, we're going to a nice restaurant and then maybe to dance? I don't know we'll see"
"Ok, thank you" We arrive at my building.
"I'm gonna pick you up in like three hours?"
"Ok, see you later"
Once ready, here I am, in a black and red dress, a really tight one, midtigh and high heels, hair down, not too straight, a bit wavy and not too much make up on my face.
I walk out the elevator and Brittany is down the street near her car waiting for me, she's so beautiful, she has heels and tight dark jeans, I don't know how she can move in them. Then she has a tight blouse and a leather jacket on, her hair are on a high tight.. So sexy.
The beginning of the night was a bit weird, she said that sometimes she hates how beautiful I'm, I mean what?! Then she told me it's because other people are gonna look at me all night and that she can't even blame them.
Now we're at the restaurant, it's amazing, really classy, she lets me order for both of us and then she orders the wine, a really expensive one, but she knows it's my favourite. We talk and talk, it's so easy to talk to her, it's like old times, when we were together, when she was my best friend. Right now I feel happy, smiling to nothing, laughing to the little things she says, really enjoying my time with someone.
After dinner she orders a dessert, just one, she takes the little spoon and slowly brings it to my mouth, then she takes a bite too, it's the way she does everything that mesmerized me. Once we finish the dessert she helps me with my coat and she pays for everything, I take her hand and we walk out.
She brings me to a new club, a huge discotheque, it's full of people, she leaves me to go take our drinks and a guy comes to me, I try to be polite but he's not getting it. Brittany comes back looking up and down this boy giving me the drink, she doesn't say anything, I tell the boy that we're together and he leaves but not before perving at us.
We start dancing and with time, with all of these people we're forced to come face to face, our legs intertwined, her hands on my hips and mine one her neck, I feel so hot.
It's starting to get to my head, the way we move together, our hands touching our bodies, how I can feel her breath hit my face, I just couldn't hold anymore, I take her hand and rush to a secluded space, as it could be in here, but it's fine. I turn and I kiss her, her hands take my waist while I cup her head with mine gripping on her hair. We kiss slowly, passionately, then we open our mouths more and feel our tongues together, I moan softly in her mouth.
"I missed you so much" She says leaning her front on mine and ending the kiss.
"Me too" I close my eyes "Can we go? I need air" She nods.
After a little walk around she broughts me home, she parks and turns to me, I don't even try to resist, I take her face and kiss her again, I can feel her smiling against my lips.
"It's high school all over again" She says giggling.
"Yeah don't tell me, you feel toxic as you did then"
"I hope it's a good thing"
"Definitely, it's so good that I won't invite you up to my apartment 'cause I don't want to jump on you" I say smirking at her.
"It's for the best, I'm gonna go, I'll call you tomorrow?" I nod.
Another peck on her lips and I walk out her car.
Brittany POV
Once at home I sit on the couch and just stare to nothing, I just had an amazing date with Santana, it's high school all over again for sure! God if I missed kissing her! I send her a goodnight text and then I go to bed myself.
I sprint awake when something hits my face, what th- Joanna is sit next to my face with Quinn next to her sitted on the other pillow.
"Quinn I'm sleeping" I say covering my face with my hand, Joanna takes my fingers immediately with her little hands and starts to play with it.
"I couldn't wait anymore, how was your date?"
"I gave you the keys for emergencies not for this"
"You didn't call yesterday so"
"If it weren't for Joanna I'd kick your ass, why the hell aren't you harassing Santana?!"
"She's already at work and Rachel told me you were home"
"Of course she did"
I give up and sit, I take Joanna in my arms and start playing with her while I tell Quinn about our date. Now I feel complete again, Quinn became my sister in the years, but since we didn't talk about Santana after the wedding something was always kinda off. We're all related in some way so if you take one of us off the picture something breaks, but now we're all together so everything came back as perfect as it was.
I'm really really sorry, I'm blocked. I'm trying..
Anyway thank you for you reviews and for who is still following :)
-Deb