Chapter 09 – Oliver's POV

Felicity's visit

Trying to stay away

Nightmares

Visiting Sara

Thea left for Starling city last night. Oliver already missed his little sister. Yes, she was annoyingly meddlesome creature. But he always wanted to keep her in his sight since his parents gave the one day old baby Thea into his hands. She still held that place in his heart.

One reason he wanted to go to Starling city instead of Thea was that now he was here in Felicity's vicinity without the buffer of Thea. Donna was away at the day time which she spent at Sara's bedside. Diggle was there, but he never meddled with their personal lives. These days he spent most of his time in the kitchen, tasting different cuisines made by Raisa.

The other reason was the fact that he was afraid for Thea. Isabel Rochev was a ruthless woman who was after QC for nearly a decade. She was a shareholder of their company since his father's time. She tried to take over the company after his father's death but his mother stepped up and took handle of the situation. After that Isabel was silent for a while. When Moira Queen was diagnosed for cancer, the director board decided that it was time for a new leader. And Oliver tried to hold the position in the family by appointing his step father, Walter Steel as the CEO. It was a temporary solution and after Moira's death Oliver had to allow Walter to mourn and took the role of CEO.

The Queen Consolidated was not in a good position and he, along with Thea worked his ass off to bring it to its' former glory. The hardest challenge they had to face was Isabel's attempts to take over. Yes, they were successful at that. But now, when both Queens were in Russia after the tragic accident, Isabel has again raised her venomous head.

No, Oliver didn't doubt Thea's ability to face Isabel and defend the family heritage. Oliver was sure that Thea would solve the problem and put off the threat. What bothered him was the fact that Isabel was not a woman who played according to the rules. She cheated. She played dirty. Once she even tried to seduce Oliver. He thanked gods that he was so infatuated with Felicity that he didn't even looked at the leggy brunette beauty.

Since Isabel couldn't take that route with Thea, Oliver was worried about her approach. What if Isabel hurt Thea?

That's why Oliver talked with Tommy and Roy for an hour last night. Asking about all the security details of the club and Thea's pent house. They convinced him that Thea will be safe there. Otherwise Oliver wouldn't have sent Thea there.

"Oliver, can I come in?" His train of thoughts was interrupted by Donna's voice.

Oliver turned his wheel chair and answered Donna.

"Yes, Donna, come in."

The door to his room opened and Donna entered. She was dressed to visit the hospital.

Oliver waited for her to start the conversation. She looked troubled.

"Oliver, I'm leaving to the hospital. Felicity will be alone in the house. I know it is not fair to ask this from you. But, can you check on her, at least once for the day? She said she will not leave the house. But I would be at peace if you and Mr. Diggle keep an eye on her." Donna said.

"Of course Donna. I will check on Felicity. You don't have to ask me that. We are friends now." Oliver said. He tried to hide the nervousness he fell about his and Felicity's friendship in his cheerful words.

"Friends?" Apparently he was not successful. Donna raised her right brow and questioned him. Oliver detected a little bit of amusement in Donna's eyes.

"Yeah.. We talked Donna. We decided to be friends. I promise you I won't cross my line. I know my limits." Oliver said.

Donna's eyes softened. She sighed and stepped ahead.

Oliver looked away. He didn't dare to face Donna's eyes. If he did she will see through his words and will detect the lie he was telling himself over and over. That he can be friends with Felicity and stop there. That he will never cross the line again.

"Look at me Oliver. You don't have to hide your feelings from me. I know that you loved her and still in love with her. She will never be a just friend to you. I may not be your mother, but I am a mother. I have an inborn ability to detect lies when I am lied to."

Donna's words ashamed Oliver. She and all the others who were close to him knew that he was hopelessly in love with Felicity. Yet he was there trying to convince himself that he won't cross the line this time. They all knew that they were living a lie. The day Felicity get to know about their situation, she will leave at once. Felicity didn't love him the first time, when he was a good friend to her, when he tried to do everything to make her happy. So how can he hope that this time would be different? How could he let himself hope that she wouldn't hate him this time? What will happen when she got to know that he was a killer who killed her husband and unborn child? How dare he hope that things will be okay between them ever?

"I'm sorry Donna. I will stay away from her. I know that she will hate me when she regains her memory. It's not my place to try to be friends again and it will break her heart when she gets to know that…" Oliver's voice broke.

"When she gets to know what, Oliver?" Donna asked.

"That I killed her husband and child, that I took her family away from her." Oliver replied.

"Oh, Oliver. Don't. Please don't." Donna touched his shoulder.

"It was an accident Oliver. It's not your fault. I don't see it like that and Felicity also won't see it as that." Donna said as she squeezed his shoulder.

"How can you be sure of that Donna? I know Felicity. She will never forgive me. You know, when I first told her that I love her, she thought I was joking. And when I finally got through to her that I was serious, she thought that I was trying to build my image by dating her. Next day she told me that Ray proposed her and that she accepted. I was angry at her that she wouldn't even give me a chance and we snapped at each other. When I calmed down, I again met her tried to convince her to consider her decision again. I didn't want to give up so I was insistent and she thought that I was being arrogant. She refused to even see me. She stopped answering my calls and sent me a wedding card. That is the summary of my story. She didn't like me when I was her friend and misunderstood me at my best. Can you imagine what she would think of me when she regains her memory? She will think that I killed Ray to get her back."

"But you didn't. If we can forgive Sara for hitting Felicity's car, how could we blame you who were in the passenger seat? You are afraid that Felicity will hate you that you are not even trying to love her this time Oliver."

Oh, what did Donna know? What did she know about how much he loves Felicity? Oliver don't need to love her again, he never got out of it.

At Oliver's silence Donna spoke again.

"Felicity had deep issues regarding trusting people Oliver. She had abandonment issues since her father left us. She never let people get close to her. And when someone does that even with her high built walls around her heart, she gets afraid and she backs away. She pushes that person away and she hurt them, even when it hurt her too. I think that's what happened with you. She was afraid to let you into her life. Ray was familiar and she was comfortable with him. They loved each other and she didn't like the temptation you brought. But this is not that Felicity, Oliver. I know my Daughter. This is not the Felicity who went through her dad's abandonment. This Felicity trusts people and she trusts you. This is your chance Oliver, to show her how you feel. Don't waste it."

"I… I don't think I can do that again, Donna." Oliver whispered.

"Yes, you can sweety. I'm telling you. Take a chance. What is the meaning of life if you are not living it? Take a risk. She didn't give you a chance then. But don't hold her to it. Give her a chance now."

With that Donna patted Oliver's head lovingly and left the room.

Oliver sighed. Can he go through this again? He didn't know.

….

Oliver visited Felicity and invited her to lunch at his home. She accepted that excitedly and offered to help Raisa even.

Oliver had to agree Diggle that kitchen was the best place to be when Raisa is preparing their food. It was so fun and Raisa enjoyed their banter. Felicity also joined as she promised and they chopped vegetables and prepared dessert together.

Felicity was fun to have around with her unstoppable babbling and unintended innuendoes. Oliver always liked her ramblings and loved to see her blushing when she finally realized what she said in her babble.

Diggle was clearly enjoying their new found peace and happiness. Oliver saw him smirking at them sometimes when Felicity was near Oliver and Oliver lost himself staring at her.

When food was finally done, they had lunch in the kitchen, with Raisa.

"Oliver…" Felicity took the handle of his wheel chair and Diggle left them alone. Felicity steered him towards the garden and Oliver let her.

"Thank you." When they were at the tree where they had the picnic, she said."

Oliver turned his head and looked at her.

"For what?"

"For being kind to me. For inviting me to spend the day with you. I know that this is hard for you when Sara is in hospital and you are separated from her."

"You don't have to thank me ever, Felicity. Especially, for caring for you." Oliver replied.

"I like you, Oliver. You are a good friend." Felicity said and sat beside his wheelchair on the grass.

They spent the afternoon there, talking about everything and nothing. It was so easy to talk with her. Felicity was a free spirit and Oliver enjoyed the easiness between them.

"You know, I want to swim, but I don't know if I can. Do you know whether I know how to swim?" Suddenly Felicity asked from Oliver.

"No, Felicity. I don't know that. We never went for swims before." Oliver said.

"Will you teach me how to, when you get better and out of the chair?" She asked again.

Oliver considered it for a moment. Can he teach her swimming? Will he be able to be that close to her again?

"I… I guess so, Felicity." Oliver's hesitation was detected immediately by her.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked that from you. I don't want to be a burden to you. Why would you spend your time with me when you can go out and have fun with your friends?"

Felicity was flustered and Oliver stopped her.

"Hey, hey… You are my friend, Felicity. I would like to help you with swimming. And I like spending time with you. it's not a burden. Quite the opposite. You brighten my day." Oliver said.

"Really?" Felicity's eyes were bright and shining with unhindered hope.

"Really." He replied with a smile.

Felicity smiled and stood up.

"So, now I have booked your time after your recovery. I think it will be only fair if I helped you with getting better. Diggle told me that you can try walking again now that you are healed enough. I can help you with that if you like." She held her hand to him.

"Now?" Oliver knew that he had to start walking again. Diggle had told him so. Oliver had improved his time standing on his legs at his exercising sessions but he hadn't tried walking again.

"Yepp. If you trust me enough to lean on when you need me." Felicity said, still holding her hand to him.

Oliver took her hand and with her help he stood up.'

Felicity banded her right hand around his waist and held his left hand with hers. She encouraged him by squeezing his hand and Oliver took his first step after almost two months, with her beside him.