Hidden in Plain Sight
Chapter Ten
Right.
Left.
Right.
Left.
Kagome walked, painstakingly dragging one foot in front of the other.
Right.
Left.
Right.
Her world had narrowed down to whichever patch of dry leaves happened to be directly in front of her at that moment.
Left.
Right.
She shivered and tucked her hands in closer to her body. Her fingers were pale and blue, and she couldn't remember the last time she had been able to feel her feet.
Left.
The sun was going down. Under the trees it had been dark for some time but she could feel its warmth and presence fading away as the shattered marks on her skin faded with it.
Ri-
Her legs buckled out from under her as the demonic strength that had been keeping her going faded with the stolen blood.
Warmth.
Sesshoumaru lifted her up and spoke, his voice wound through her mind, teasing her with understanding that was just out of reach. He nuzzled her gently; a light press of cheek to cheek and the soft warmth of his tongue against her neck, before settling her down on the cold ground.
She struggled to sit up, fighting a wave of dizziness that darkened her vision and threatened to send her into unconsciousness. She managed to prop herself up on one elbow, heal lolling awkwardly to one side as she cautiously looked around her. Sesshoumaru's golden glow of youki was gone. Kagome huffed, annoyed, and forced herself up further. It wasn't so bad once she got going, from sitting to kneeling, but then momentum kept her going, sending her tumbling back to the ground.
She lay where she fell, staring out into the darkness, for an indeterminate amount of time before Sesshoumaru returned. He lifted her up with his borrowed left hand and she shivered at its icy touch. She tried to focus on him but the night was dark without even the light of the stars to see by.
"What's happening?" she asked, words coming out slurred as she struggled, even to speak.
"The new moon has robbed you of your youki gained strength and your human blood cannot cope with the loss," he said gravely.
"No, no, no," she mumbled clutching at his haori with numb fingers. "I was fine… fine… I'm fine."
"You are currently suffering from severe blood loss and shock," he said, voice cold and clinical. She marveled at his use of the word "suffering." It just seemed to be a more empathic use that was usually to be expected. Certainly, "you are insufferable" or "I will make you suffer"but… Coppery blood and dark youki filled her mouth. It startled out of her meandering train of thought she fought against Sesshoumaru's iron hold on her but her efforts were futile. Her holy powers curled inside of her stirred sluggishly. In the panicked effort to quell her rising powers and not strike out at Sesshoumaru, she swallowed the piece of meat he had fed to her.
It slid down her throat with surprising ease, and Sesshoumaru released her jaw almost immediately. She panted slightly preparing for ber body's reaction; although she was uncertain whether she was preparing to fight or encourage the urge to vomit. Her body betrayed her yet again. Instead of feeling ill and rejecting the raw meat, she hungered for more.
"Please, don't make me do this," she begged. Even the small amount of power from the one piece she consumed cleared her head significantly. "I don't want to be…"
"You need this," he said and slipped another small piece into her mouth. The blood soaked meat tasted dark and rich on her tongue. "What do you not wish to be? Alive?"
"Like Naraku," she whispered hoarsely once she swallowed the tiny piece. A dull ache twisted in her gut, the little bits he was feeding her was not enough and she needed more. He fed her another, larger piece, almost as though he knew of her body's demands. The blood and the power made her heart race and her body tingle with pins and needles, like it was coming awake.
"You are nothing like that hanyou." The word was like poison in his mouth. Not for the first time she wondered what she was to him. She knew that she could never be what he wanted, she couldn't be what Inu Yasha had wanted either, nor her family. She had failed everyone who had ever meant anything to her and now… now she was no longer entirely sure that she was human anymore. That the curse hadn't in some way changed her in some subtle way that she wouldn't detect until it was too late to go back.
"Naraku grew more powerful by consuming other youkai," she said between the pieces of whatever poor demon had fallen under Sesshoumaru's claws. With each piece her body grew stronger and her mind clearer; and with each piece she wanted more and more to turn away. "And now I'm doing the same thing he did."
"It was not the source of his power that was corrupt," he said, pulling her close a fang tracing a gentle line along her ear. "It was the human soul that created him."
"But how can you be certain that it wasn't the youkai?" she asked, pressing herself against his chest as if she could hide from the fears that echoed in her head. "Each one, piece by piece, growing into that thing, until Onigumo was almost gone. How do you know that it won't do the same to me?"
"Power can neither save you nor damn you," he said. "Only you can do that. The power is yours to control or to let it control you. That is the true test of strength. One that Naraku and many hanyou, fail."
"And Inu Yasha?" she asked, her courage suddenly buoyed up by the youki coursing through her veins. The youki curled around the Shikon no Tama nestled in its protective shell of holy power, testing the still waters and pressing in towards the deep well of vulnerable, corruptible, power that the jewel contained.
"You would be able to answer that question more than I," he said, he combed his claws gently through her hair, knots snagging on his fingers. "When Uragiri banished him from the Western Lands I would have said 'no' had you asked me then. He was temperamental and prone to acting rashly."
She blushed hotly, that description could just as aptly be applied to her. Although less so recently, having to rely only on herself had tempered her recklessness to a degree.
His voice became distant, almost sad, as he spoke of the past. "He was still reckless when last we met, an inheirant personality flaw I presume, but not as driven. He seemed to have matured considerably, more so than I had thought him capable of."
Kagome pressed her hands over her heart at a sharp pain that made her catch her breath. "He always seemed the same to me." She said softly. "Angry and hurt and trying to hide it."Not unlike Sesshoumaru. "How should I know?"
"Was it not you, Shikon no Miko," he spoke softly, in a low dangerous growl. "Who sealed him away for the theft of the jewel? And was it not you that released him from the seal only to leash him to your side? Tell me Miko, why would you do those things?"
"W-what? I didn't…" she protested, wanting to scream in frustration as the weight of the past pressed heavily on her shoulders once again. Would she never leave me alone? "I am not Kikyou!"
Sesshoumaru held her in place as she struggled to push away. Held her pressed to him with his teeth at her throat until she stopped, gasping for air from overexertion. Patiently he doled out more pieces of the heart for her to eat. She spat out the first but her defiance was short lived, Sesshoumaru's determination and her own body's cravings conspired to undermine her.
"I know of Kikyou," he said thoughtfully after she finally stilled and the remainder of the heart was gone. "The dead woman who wished to drag my brother to hell with her. What has she to do with you?"
"Everything," she said miserably.
"What was the cause of her enmity towards you?" he asked when it became clear that she would not be forthcoming with additional details without further prompting.
"What?" she asked.
"She hated you, I have heard her call you an interloper and a foreigner," he explained, exhibiting more patience tan she ever thought possible. "Why?"
"Because I was," she said reluctantly. Kagome hated talking about Kikyou, hated even thinking about her. Everything was so muddled and confusing where she was involved, a tangled skein of love and hate and duty that Kagome didn't even know where to begin to unravel it. "She died to protect the jewel, and I brought it back, and worse, I broke it into a million pieces. She believed that I stole her life, her powers, her duty… her love, but I didn't." Desperate to be believe she pushed back to look into Sesshoumaru's eyes, only to recall Keigo's advice at the last moment on inu youkai and sincerity. She cuddled closer to Sesshoumaru and kissed him along his jaw. "She took away my life, forced me to finish what she couldn't. She's the real Shikon no Miko, not me."
Sesshoumaru was silent for a very long time, so long that she was beginning to wonder whether or not he would believe her. "There is only one soul that is pure enough to cleanse the Shikon no Tama," he said carefully, testing each word as he said it. She nodded adamantly. "Yet, I have seen you cleanse the shards. You, not her, are the Shikon no Miko."
"We share the same soul," she told him.
"How?" He demanded. "I have seen you standing side by side."
"An ogre witch raised Kikyou from the dead and my soul was torn apart. I know it sounds crazy, but it's true, please believe me." Her voice grew shrill in her desperation. Sesshoumaru gently rubbed his cheek against hers, a gesture of comfort, it may have been, but until he accepted her submission he didn't accept that she was telling the truth. "I am her reincarnation."
"Why should I believe you?" he asked. "A new collection of tales to bolster you failing lies."
She closed her eyes and let her head fall back. "I have no reason to lie to you. I hid my identity because I was afraid, but now you know and there is nothing more to hide."
With a gentle touch on her jaw Sesshoumaru tilted her head towards him and captured her mouth in a slow, languid kiss. His thumb lightly ran back and forth over her cheek. Without conscious thought her arms wrapped around him and she pressed her body against him, regardless of the shortness of her breath and sharp pains in her chest.
She frowned, as best she could being otherwise occupied, and tried to focus her attention inwards at the source of her pain. The youki she gained from eating the heart of a demon had healed her body but now that the task was finished it was pressing inwards, towards the holy powers within her. Both sides of the balance were weak but they struck out at each other, each strike causing spasms of pain. She broke off the kiss with a strangled cry, clutching at her chest.
"Kagome…" he spoke but she couldn't focus on the words. The powers within her clashed and fought. The miko energies were trying to purify the youki and the youki in turn were striving to corrupt the inner core of her being… and the Shikon no Tama. The interior battle sent waves of pain wracking her body. She curled in on herself and tried to escape the pain through the only way she could think of, the landsense.
She dove down deep into the ground, deeper than she had ever gone before. She dove past the delicate lattice of entwined roots, deep into the bedrock and deeper still, until the energies around her changed subtly. She could feel tension vibrating in the earth, an energy normally masked by the vibrant life in the topsoil. Another wave of pain, and Kagome fought being dragged back to her body. It wasn't until the powers within her twined themselves around the earth's energies that surrounded her that she realized her mistake. When using the landsense, the sensation that she was moving away from her body was only an illusion.
Stupid, stupid girl. You knew that, she scolded herself. She had known that, instinctively, the first few times she had opened herself to the landsense, but with time and practice she had convinced herself otherwise. Now she could only watch in horror as the two conflicting powers within her tapped into the built up pressures of the fault lines beneath her feet, that she had just given them access to. She trembled helplessly as the two powers faced each other like tigers fighting over a kill, vicious and deadly. She quailed, I am weak, Sesshoumaru was right about that.
She had never had any control over her holy powers, something that she had just attributed to her lack in traditional training. It never seemed important before. Her powers had always been there when she needed them, but even in those instances where they acted of their own volition, to ward off a threatening youkai or purify a jewel shard, it just happened. It had never been a matter of willfully controlling her powers they did what she needed, she had never even entertained the thought that her powers could in some way harm her. But more often than not of late her powers have struck out at her, and now the lengths it would go to cleanse her body of the youki would result in untold damage, both to her and to the earth itself.
She couldn't just let it go like she had been, she grit her teeth in determination. She had been weak, but she will be strong. She will learn control… of all of her powers. If she didn't, even assuming that she survived this particular battle, crap like this would just keep happening, and she was getting to be sick and tired of being kicked around by everyone and everything. She stepped forward between the two warring powers, and grabbed each one with a mental "hand." They snarled and snapped at the intrusion, striking out at her and ripping though her mind and soul with infinitely sharp claws.
She flinched in pain but did not release her grasp. Gradually, painfully, she learned. She learned that she could focus her mind one the power, either youki or miko, and it would bend to her will, but once her thoughts strayed it would once again become unruly and rebellious. She had to stay mindful of both powers at the same time. It was difficult, as she forced first one and then the other "away" they fought back. Both wanted, in as much as a non-sentient source of power could "want" anything, to be near her. Finally, she settled on a form of concentric circles, with the holy power in the center and the youki surrounding it. It was a simple concept to focus on and slowly both powers settled down into the pattern she wanted. She carefully disengaged their—now her—hold on the fault lines.
Kagome breathed a sigh of relief and opened her eyes. Dawn was not far off; the struggle had been long and exhausting. Automatically she looked around for Sesshoumaru. He was standing a short distance away and she could practically feel the tension radiating off of him.
"Sesshoumaru?" She sat up, her head swimming. Concentric circles, concentric circles.
Almost instantly he was at her side, his body curling around her, warm and protective. She could feel his warm breath against her neck. "Kagome."
Would it kill him to ask if I was okay? She grit her teeth, jaw aching from the pressure, in a momentary flash of anger. Anger that was quickly released as it upset the delicate balance inside of her. Instead of lashing out at him she brought her hand up to brush against his cheek and to guide herself forward as she licked at the corner of his mouth, a quick flash of tongue to flesh but the taste of him lingered. "I'm okay, youki doesn't appear to agree with me."
She could feel the tension drain out of him, muscles relaxing under her fingertips. He brought his mouth down on hers in a kiss that was as fierce as it was brief, and it left her aching for more. "It would appear that you will be a constant source of defiance and irritation."
She frowned, if she didn't know better that sounded almost affectionate. "Why? What did I do now?"
"Your displays of power are growing more impressive, and more noticeable," he said, as he spoke he rose gracefully to his feet. "We should leave this place lest any more curious youkai come to investigate."
"I can't," she said curling back into a ball. She could feel the tingling along her skin that indicated sunrise, though it was still dark beneath the trees. "Too tired."
He growled his displeasure and, without warning, picked her up from the ground. "It is no longer safe here, we are leaving. You may rest at our destination."
"I want to rest now," she whined and leaned against his shoulder. "Where are we going?"
"To your shrine," he said shortly. "You expressed a desire to return to your home did you not? Your stubbornness has already delayed our arrival and I grow weary of this foolishness."
"Why, you…" She raised her hand, either to strike out at him or grab him, something to get his attention, though neither was incredibly intelligent, but the action was never completed. As the sleeve fell back her attention was captured by the sutras on her arm. It was difficult to see in the dim twilight but the dark markings appeared to be… healing. The edges where the writing bad been broken were closing as she watched. "Sesshoumaru… Is that supposed to happen?"
He gave her a derisive look, and she blushed. Yeah, it's not like there's a ton of precedents for this. But he examined her arm anyways, eventually bringer her wrist to his nose and breathing deeply. "You smell different, older, stronger… It appears that the new blood is bonding with the old."
"What's that supp…ow!" She brought her hand up to her mouth. She had bitten through her tongue and blood was welling out of the wound, filling her mouth. Cautious inspection revealed a full set of very sharp incisors. "What's going on?" she lisped slightly though the unusual set of teeth that she didn't have a few minutes prior.
Sesshoumaru gently traced the pads of his fingers along the length of fingernails that had just as suddenly grown to an abnormal length. "What do you know of the nature of youkai blood, Kagome?"
"Nothing," she answered promptly, before the obvious answer came to her mind; the sutras were written in blood using the blood's power to mask her true identity. "No, wait… blood holds power?"
"That is true, but it is not the answer that I seek," he said. "Youkai blood is the essence of life and will strive to continue on, even after being consumed."
"Sounds like a parasite."
"Don't interrupt." He nipped her ear sharply. "If a human consumes a youkai's blood and heart they can reap the benefits, but only temporarily as there is not enough youki to maintain the blood, and it will eventually die."
"Really?" she asked, speaking very carefully. "How come I never heard of it? Wouldn't people be doing it more often? Not that killing a demon is easy. Even the weak ones aren't exactly push-overs…"
"Kagome," he cut off her babble impatiently. "The practice is strongly discouraged, even the priests of you religions claim that doing so corrupts the soul.'
"I never heard that," of course she never heard a lot of things her grandfather told her. Sesshoumaru bit her ear harder, she could feel a trickle of blood slide down her neck. "Ouch! Will you stop that."
"You become sidetracked far too easily." He licked at her neck and ear gently, the small nick stinging at his attentions. "If on the other hand a youkai consumes the blood and heart of another the new blood can thrive and grow in the abundance of youki."
"Then why do youkai eat humans, if other youkai are better?" she asked.
"Though powerless, humans do have an energy all their own that is sufficient for some weaker youkai."
"Oh," So, Kagome, how does it feel to be suddenly at the bottom of the food chain?" "So, what does this have to do with me?"
"The curse," he said, tracing a claw along her forearm, "gives you enough youki to allow the new blood a place to thrive. As like calls to like it will fill in the path that has been set for it."
"But why is it…" She didn't want to say it was turning her into a demon. It wasn't, she was still herself… wasn't she? "changing me like this, it didn't before."
"It did," he said. "It changed your scent. Inu Yasha's hanyou blood was too weak to do more. Stronger blood will effect more powerful changes."
"Oh," she said softly as the meaning of his words sunk in. Focusing her attention on the youki she could almost feel it slowly draining out of her "hands" as it worked its way into the bindings. "I don't want any more, okay? No more blood, no more hearts."
"This Sesshoumaru shall do what is necessary," he said quietly with an intensity in his eyes that belied the coolness in his voice. "For the well being of my people, I will do whatever is needed."
"I'm not of your people," she said.
"Are you not?" he asked, drawing her closer. "Did you not declare your submission to me?"
"That's different," she said.
"Is it?"
"Yes," she declared decisively. "It is."
"As you say," he said with an amused undertone in his voice, as though she had said something foolish.
"It is," She repeated childishly. "And I thought we were going to be leaving?"
He nipped her neck lightly. "Insolent bitch, we would be if you would cease being so easily distracted."
She smiled, glad that she had somehow won back his easy, playful manner. She had missed it. She hated how he had been keeping at arms length even after once again accepting her presence beside him. "I'll never get home."
... ... ...
"When you return we are to speak to the priest of this shrine." Sesshoumaru declared as they entered the well house. Many of the farmers returned to the area once the darkness that had possessed Sesshoumaru had been dispelled, and they had informed her that Tsuuki's brother had taken over the care of the Sunset Shrine. Why Sesshoumaru insisted on speaking with him, she had no idea. All Kagome knew was that she was going to go home.
Without thinking about it she reached out to push the cover off of the well. The wards on it snapped at her, and the cover wouldn't budge. She muttered under her breath, words lisping out between fangs she still wasn't used to having. "This is just not fair. They're not allowed to seal the well on me."
"Did the miko here not tell you she had done that?"
"Oh, yeah… forgot about that." She had managed to avoid thinking about Tsuuki and… oh gods, what am I going to tell her brother? She froze up at the thought, a momentary panic, during which Sesshoumaru unsheathed the Tenseiga. "Um, what are you doing?"
"Unsealing the well," he answered shortly.
"Oh… you can do that?"
With a single swift pass Sesshoumaru cut through the ofudas binding the cover to the well. The dissipating power tingled along her skin. "This Sesshoumaru can do as he pleases."
"Oh, right," she said weakly, as the both watched the well cover fall to the side. Kagome swung one leg up over the rim of the well as Sesshoumaru looked down it dubiously.
"Your home is truly at the bottom of the well?"
"The other side of it actually," she told him. "The well takes me through time."
"Truly? I had heard rumors, and Inu Yasha's belligerent ramblings, but I gave it little credence at the time."
"Maybe now you'll believe people when they tell you something."
He snorted softly, "doubtful."
"True," she giggled and pushed off the edge of the well. "by-ee!"
Kagome landed a bit harder than usual on the packed silt at the bottom. Her legs folded under her and she landed hard enough to knock the breath from her lungs. She gasped for air and looked up, preparing to yell for Souta… only to find Sesshoumaru looking down at her.
"No… no, no, no." She dug at the bottom and sides of the well. Her new claws cut deep gouges even into the stone. "It can't just stop working… it always works… I have the shards… it has to work."
Sesshoumaru knelt at her side, his hands gripping her wrists and pulling her up. "Kagome, are you certain that this is the place?"
She blinked at him stupidly. What kind of a question is that?She had only been jumping in and out of this well for the past four years. She nodded. He let go of her and stood, running his fingertips lightly over the stones. He brought his fingers to his nose and sniffed delicately. She was starting to get the impression that her going home was not, and never had been, the primary reason for coming here. "What are you doing, Sesshoumaru?"
He didn't answer her. He ignored her, preferring to pry one of the stones loose from the wall, as she staggered to her feet. A few other stones and some dirt fell out with it but the rest of the wall held firm. Writing etched into the outer edge of the stone glowed with a flickering blue light.
"What is that?" she asked.
"A prison," he said as he dropped the rock and looked around him. "But it appears that the prisoner has escaped."
"But you knew that already, didn't you." A memory teased her, something about one of Keigo's projects. "The baku. You think that this was the place where it was trapped."
"That appears to be the case."
"That doesn't make any sense," she said as she turned the information over in her mind. "Why would it let me travel through time, and why stop now?"
"I am… unsure," he said slowly, with obvious distaste for the word. "Our legends indicate that the baku trapped the renegade outside of time. Perhaps, when their spells began to fail it allowed your travel, but with the chains completely broken…"
"I… you…" she sputtered almost incoherent with rage. "How long have you known about this?"
"Keigo only recently found the records regarding the matter," he told her calmly, apparently oblivious to the bomb that he just casually dropped on her.
"And you didn't think this important enough to tell me?" She shrieked, trembling with shocked outrage. She choked as all the words she wanted to say, had to say, collided in her throat. Everything was gone. Her family was so far in the future that she couldn't even hope to live long enough to see her grandfather's birth much less Souta' or any of her friends. But the most distressing thought, was the realization that she could have gone back. Any of those visits with Sesshoumaru she could have gone, could have jumped through the well to spend one last day with her family, but she didn't. She didn't because she had been so worried about Sesshoumaru and what would happen if he knew, if he had figured it out. Only to learn that it was all for nothing; he knew, they were gone, she had nothing left but the burdens and duties that tied her to this place she didn't belong. She didn't belong here and she wanted to go home. But she couldn't, she hadn't, because he didn't tell her about what was happening to her well, to that tenuous link that grounded her through all the chaos that surrounded her. He didn't tell her and now she was trapped. She choked out, "how could you do this to me?"
He looked at her, surprised by her outburst. "There was no reason to connect the baku's prison with your well. We did not wish to cause you unnecessary distress."
"You…" she stamped down on her temper. He wouldn't listen if she pushed and yelled. She clenched her teeth and took a few deep, measured breaths before slowly tilting her head to the side, deliberately exposing her throat to him, to remind him of her vulnerability and dependence on him. It was one of the most alien things that she had done yet, and at that moment hated the entire inu youkai culture with a passion. Once she was certain that she had his attention she spoke slowly and carefully. "I don't suppose that it might have occurred to you that my family, my clan, might be just as important to me as yours is to you. And I don't suppose that it might have occurred to you that it might upset me more to learn that I had lost any chances to see them. And then to learn that you knew, you knew…"
"Kagome, I…" He leaned forward to rub his cheek against hers, but she pushed away from him, slamming her back against the stone wall.
"You knew and you said nothing," she whispered, her body trembling.
He pressed her against the stone and licked her ear, a slow sensuous exploration that ignited a burning desire but did little to quench her rage. "I did not know, not for certain. Even the possibility was a bare distant thought. What I did know was that this renegade has formed some unnatural fixation on you. That it stalks you, allies and enemies alike."
"How do you…" she asked before the realization dawned on her. "The darkness, that thing… that had possessed you."
"Yes."
"It killed Inu Yasha."
"Yes, and more." he said softly. "Though insubstantial the baku can influence the minds of the demons around them, creating puppets to do their will."
"The demons going in and out of well," she murmured softly remembering what Tsuuki had told her.
"Yes, it was most likely still partially imprisoned at that time, but could draw in those that passed too close." His breath was hot on her ear as he spoke, and she found her anger focusing on another target. "It wouldn't have been much, just enough to harry you and your friends, to lead you one by one into the traps prepared for you."
She leaned forward pressing her lips against the side of his mouth, forming the words against his skin. "I want it dead."
He looked down at her and smiled a heartbreaking, breathtaking beautiful smile. Then he leaned down and kissed her deeply, pressing her against the rough stone wall. By the time he broke the kiss she was breathless and gasping for air. He spoke and his voice was rough with desire. "Yes. Together, my Taigen, we will hunt this prey, take it to the ground, and rip out its throat."
He stepped back and picked her up. "What now?"
"There is nothing more to learn here, so we must seek our prey elsewhere," He said and leapt to the lip of the well. He had just settled her on the ground when the door to the well house slammed open.
Tsuuki's brother, and head priest, stood in the doorway trembling with rage and holding an ofuda held out in one hand, pointed straight at her. "Demon, how dare you return here."