Faroush walked to Susan's side and put her arm around her. It barely reached all the way around but Susan leaned into her. She was fighting hard to remain composed when inside she felt like something was dying. The only thing that had kept her from crumbling this long was the thought that any day now, things would be made right and Marcus would be brought back to life so that he wouldn't have died for her after all and she wouldn't have to carry that guilt any more.

She was silent for several long minutes, feeling Marcus' clammy skin slowly softening under her hands. She felt numb to the core now, she held on to the thought that as long as one of her friends, one of the people who remembered her as she used to be, remained then she wouldn't be completely alone. She pulled Marcus closer to her. Faroush was whispering something in her ear and her mind but she couldn't hear it. Her eyes strayed around the room and looked at the bodies of their enemies. Jordan and Tunam were inspecting them, carefully avoiding looking at her, giving her some privacy in their own way.

"Let go," she heard in her mind, the soft feathery whisper that characterised Faroush's mind-voice, "Let go, Susan, he made his choice long ago and you cannot save him now. You have been carrying him within you for years. This is but a shell."

"You don't understand. You don't understand."

"Nothing has changed. Nothing at all. All you've lost is your security blanket, nothing more."

"You created the machine! You should have brought him back! You should have worked harder."

"I'm sorry, the knowledge was lost and we were hoping that you would accept what has happened and moved on. We wanted the best for you."


"The best for me? The best for me would have been having Marcus back so I could make up for his sacrifice, so every breath didn't burn me. I gave him nothing but grief! I hate him! I hate him so much for dying! I hate Marcus and I hate Talia and John and Stephen and my mother and every single one of them that had to go and die before me."

"Shame on you! You are selfish and cruel. Why should it be better for you to die and others to live with your loss?"

Susan looked at Faroush hurt and angry. What did an alien, one who had never known such pain and loss know of what Susan was feeling? Of what was right? She took a deep, painful breath and expelled it. It sounded almost like a growl. Her arm slackened and she slowly laid Marcus' head on the ground. She stood up in one jerky movement. She pulled away from Faroush's touch. Susan straightened her clothes and pulled her messed up hair into a tight bun. She felt hard and cold. Faroush looked shocked and sick. Her hands were pressed tightly against her temples.

"Jordan, Tunam."

"Yes, Anla'Shok'Na," they answered promptly but cautiously.

"Take whatever weapons you can find on them and scout out the complex," she said, "I want to know if these are all of them. See if you can find a communication device of some sort."

They looked startled at her sudden harshness. They were so tired but they set to picking their foes' pockets. They found the last three denn'boks and wordlessly passed Marcus' back to her. Susan's hand seemed to resist when she reached for it. She forced her hand to tighten around the familiar handle.

They left the room as quickly as their exhaustion let them, stumbling along and holding on to wall for support. She turned around and looked down at Faroush. She felt nothing, not even for the little alien who had managed to break through so many of her natural barriers.

She kicked one of the limp bodies on the ground and it did not react. She wished she could cry but she felt that even if she had not been so dehydrated, she would not have been able to. Tears healed and she was not sure if she could heal now that the last bit of hope she had left in her had been taken away. It had been all that remained of the closet optimist she used to be, the one who hid behind a cloak of cynicism.

"What happened here?" she asked, "To them?"

Faroush took in a shaky breath and looked around. Her shoulders slumped and started to shake. Tears started to drip from her face and fell on Marcus' forehead. It seemed fitting that someone should cry over him, even if not entirely for him since she couldn't herself.

"It was us, all of us," Faroush whispered only just audibly, "we couldn't watch you be killed. We couldn't stand by and do nothing. All of us. Together. I told them what I did to the one outside, I showed them in my mind how it was done. They learned from me. It was hard. We had to fight ourselves to do what we did. We broke into their minds and … stopped them."

"You stopped them? How?"

"It wasn't that hard, not with all of us together," Faroush seemed to choke on the words but Susan had no pity in her at the moment, "they didn't think to block us. They thought we were harmless. Were just bystanders."

"The seizures?"

"We hesitated," Faroush sniffled loudly, "We were afraid and we couldn't bring ourselves to just shut them down but then we did. We are so ashamed!" she wailed and the others, those who were not shocked into an almost catatonic state wailed with her.

"You save my men's lives," Susan said without conviction, "you did a good thing."

"No," Faroush sobbed, "no, we did the necessary thing but it was an evil thing nonetheless. All life is precious and should not be taken forcibly."

"And so", Susan thought, "my final accomplishment, the complete corruption and ruin of the Sta'ui. Nothing good ever survives after I touch it."