~Chapter X~
A frown crept onto Kuroko's face as the doorbell to his apartment rang. He didn't want to see anyone. He only wished to stay alone for now. To organize his thoughts. To try and nullify all his emotions. To hope that a solution to his troubles would magically present itself in front of him and the painful throbbing would cease.
However, the tealnet was well aware he could not afford such a luxury.
With that thought, he heavily got up from the sofa and approached the door. Maybe the person behind it would give up and just leave. Kuroko would be honestly thankful. But, of course, it seemed the Gods up there found entertainment in making his life as difficult as it can be.
As the tealnet opened the door, the person he last wished to see was standing there with a troubled expression on their face.
''Ah, Kuroko-kun, hello,'' Momoi spoke politely, yet seemingly cautiously, as if fearing of ticking the male off somehow. ''Am I disturbing you?''
''No, it's fine,'' the tealnet answered tonelessly. He moved a bit from the entrance, granting the woman a way to enter. ''Please, come in.''
Momoi cast a worried glance at the male before stepping inside his apartment. If it were any other day, she would have started lecturing Kuroko about his decorations, or rather, the lack of them, but now that wasn't what was important.
''I apologize for intruding,'' she murmured as she took off her shoes by the entrance.
''Would you like something to drink?'' Kuroko asked while leading Momoi further into his home. ''I don't have coffee though.''
''Oh, um, tea would be nice if it's not a trouble you...''
''Not at all,'' the tealnet responded with a light shake of his head.
Silence enveloped them after that. Momoi simply didn't know what to say while Kuroko didn't wish to say anything. Instead, he tried focusing on anything else rather than the woman in his kitchen, eyeing him intensely. As if watching a bomb that might go off at any moment. Such a thought made Kuroko feel a bit uncomfortable.
Why isn't she saying anything?
''Here,'' the tealnet announced quietly, placing a cup of warm tea in front of the sitting at the table pinkette.
''Ah, thank you,'' she murmured in response, gently touching the hot porcelain.
''So, if I may ask, what brings you here?'' Kuroko finally decided to get to the point as he himself took a seat in front of the seemingly distressed woman.
''I just wanted to see how you were doing,'' Momoi answered while taking a small sip of the delicious liquid, carefully observing the other's expression.
''...Oh,'' the male mumbled, a bit surprised. ''I'm fine, thank you.''
''...But that's not true, is it?'' the pinkette said in a hollow voice, eyes full of worry. She placed the cup on the table and brought her hand to her chest, slightly gripping her shirt's material. ''Your heart... It must be aching so much. It has been for the past few days.''
Ah, that's right.
Kuroko forgot that if one's emotion is strong enough, his soulmate would be able to feel a much weaker version of it.
Lost in his own troubled mind, he didn't realize he was hurting Momoi as well. It seemed that he had a talent of hurting others around him.
''...Ah. It's... It's nothing,'' Kuroko shook his head weakly, averting his eyes from the pinkette to the table. ''I apologize for making you feel uncomfortable.''
''Don't,'' she said softly, leaning a bit forward. ''Your wellbeing is more important now.''
The tealnet hummed weakly in response. His wellbeing huh... That was a bit difficult.
''You know,'' Momoi spoke again, straightening up. She averted her eyes from the male in front of her as a small bitter smile appeared on her lips. ''I am familiar with this kind of pain.''
''...What?''
''In high-school, I really liked this one boy. Really liked. For awhile we were together even. But, um, at some point he met his soulmate and, well, fell in love with her more than me. I, of course, understood, that fate was inevitable, I was simply playing with fire. But, you know, that futile hope was always there,'' Momoi bit her lower lip as her grip on her shirt tightened. Vaguely, Kuroko felt how a mild pang hit his heart that didn't seem to be his own. The pinkette was still hurt by her experience it seemed. ''And my heart... It hurt just like this. It's the same pain, I can tell. Kuroko-kun,'' She lifted her beautiful eyes and looked softly at the tealnet. Her lips shaped into a gentle smile before she continued. ''You already a person you love, correct?''
Kuroko's breathing stopped. Those words hit him harder than he had wanted. He foolishly hoped that maybe, just maybe, if he never talked about it, if no one ever mentioned it, if they all just pretended nothing of such caliber existed, maybe he'd be able to trick himself into thinking there really wasn't anything wrong. That he was fine. That his soul was fine. That it wasn't being ripped apart by his responsibilities and a certain redhead's means of ignoring them.
But the moment Momoi said the words he was trying his best to keep out of his mind, something inside Kuroko snapped.
He was naïve for thinking he would be able to fool himself.
I was stupid.
''You know, ever since that day,'' Momoi continued, seeing as how Kuroko was reluctant in speaking and only kept his head low, those teal bangs of his hiding his eyes. ''I wished to meet my soulmate so much. I had this stupid belief, one that my friends always told me, that love at first sight always blossoms between soulmates, so I thought that maybe such a person would be able to fix me. But no way,'' She once again placed her hand over her heart, closing her eyes in the process. ''could that be true if your heart hurts so much.''
''I'm so sorry, Momoi-san...'' Kuroko murmured softly, trying to keep his voice from breaking.
''No, no, don't be,'' the pinkette shook her head. ''I understand completely. If you already have someone you love, I will certainly not force you into any kind of relationship with me. I could never do that.''
The male lifted his eyes to meet Momoi's, surprise and doubt visible in his usually dull look.
''But what you said earlier-''
''That doesn't matter,'' the woman interrupted him with a gentle voice. ''It happened years ago after all. I got over it already. But you... Kuroko-kun,'' Her eyes lit up. ''If you two love each other, listen to your heart. Don't let that person go just because you were told you have to.''
''But... what about you? Didn't you say you want someone besides you?''
''Don't worry about me,'' Momoi cast a warm smile at the troubled male. ''I'll be fine. Think about yourself and your loved one more. That person must be just as distressed as you are after all, right? Not knowing whether you'll come back to them...''
Of course... He always acts as if everything is okay, but he must be anxious now...
I don't want him to hurt.
I... I have to go to him.
I must go to him.
I want to see him.
''...Thank you, Momoi-san,'' Kuroko finally spoke in a hushed voice. ''But even so, I'm afraid it's not as easy as you sound it to be.''
''It never is, huh?'' the pinkette chuckled bitterly. However, a reassuring smile quickly appeared on her lips. ''Don't worry, there is always a solution.''
That's what he told me as well.
''I'm sure if you both try your best, it'll work out eventually.''
God, I sure hope so.
''And if you'll ever need something, always feel free to ask.''
You're so...
''You're so kind, Momoi-san,'' Kuroko spoke before he could sort out his thoughts. His throat tightened from guilt as he continued. ''I am so sorry you got me as your soulmate... You deserve someone so much better.''
''No, no, don't say that!'' the pinkette shook her head in protest, a slight blush appearing on her cheeks. ''It's not your fault your heart belongs to someone else. I always had this secret thought that this system wasn't right... Though maybe we could still stay as friends?'' she finished off with a nervous smile.
''Of course, that would be nice,'' Kuroko answered genuinely, the corners of his lips twitching upwards for the first time in a few days.
''Great then! However, I believe you have some business to take care of at the moment, correct?~ Don't keep your love waiting for too long~''
A frown crept onto Kuroko's face as the doorbell to his apartment rang. He didn't want to see anyone. He only wished to stay alone for now. To organize his thoughts. To try and nullify all his emotions. To hope that a solution to his troubles would magically present itself in front of him and the painful throbbing would cease.
However, the tealnet was well aware he could not afford such a luxury.
With that thought, he heavily got up from the sofa and approached the door. Maybe the person behind it would give up and just leave. Kuroko would be honestly thankful. But, of course, it seemed the Gods up there found entertainment in making his life as difficult as it can be.
As the tealnet opened the door, the person he last wished to see was standing there with a troubled expression on their face.
''Ah, Kuroko-kun, hello,'' Momoi spoke politely, yet seemingly cautiously, as if fearing of ticking the male off somehow. ''Am I disturbing you?''
''No, it's fine,'' the tealnet answered tonelessly. He moved a bit from the entrance, granting the woman a way to enter. ''Please, come in.''
Momoi cast a worried glance at the male before stepping inside his apartment. If it were any other day, she would have started lecturing Kuroko about his decorations, or rather, the lack of them, but now that wasn't what was important.
''I apologize for intruding,'' she murmured as she took off her shoes by the entrance.
''Would you like something to drink?'' Kuroko asked while leading Momoi further into his home. ''I don't have coffee though.''
''Oh, um, tea would be nice if it's not a trouble you...''
''Not at all,'' the tealnet responded with a light shake of his head.
Silence enveloped them after that. Momoi simply didn't know what to say while Kuroko didn't wish to say anything. Instead, he tried focusing on anything else rather than the woman in his kitchen, eyeing him intensely. As if watching a bomb that might go off at any moment. Such a thought made Kuroko feel a bit uncomfortable.
Why isn't she saying anything?
''Here,'' the tealnet announced quietly, placing a cup of warm tea in front of the sitting at the table pinkette.
''Ah, thank you,'' she murmured in response, gently touching the hot porcelain.
''So, if I may ask, what brings you here?'' Kuroko finally decided to get to the point as he himself took a seat in front of the seemingly distressed woman.
''I just wanted to see how you were doing,'' Momoi answered while taking a small sip of the delicious liquid, carefully observing the other's expression.
''...Oh,'' the male mumbled, a bit surprised. ''I'm fine, thank you.''
''...But that's not true, is it?'' the pinkette said in a hollow voice, eyes full of worry. She placed the cup on the table and brought her hand to her chest, slightly gripping her shirt's material. ''Your heart... It must be aching so much. It has been for the past few days.''
Ah, that's right.
Kuroko forgot that if one's emotion is strong enough, his soulmate would be able to feel a much weaker version of it.
Lost in his own troubled mind, he didn't realize he was hurting Momoi as well. It seemed that he had a talent of hurting others around him.
''...Ah. It's... It's nothing,'' Kuroko shook his head weakly, averting his eyes from the pinkette to the table. ''I apologize for making you feel uncomfortable.''
''Don't,'' she said softly, leaning a bit forward. ''Your wellbeing is more important now.''
The tealnet hummed weakly in response. His wellbeing huh... That was a bit difficult.
''You know,'' Momoi spoke again, straightening up. She averted her eyes from the male in front of her as a small bitter smile appeared on her lips. ''I am familiar with this kind of pain.''
''...What?''
''In high-school, I really liked this one boy. Really liked. For awhile we were together even. But, um, at some point he met his soulmate and, well, fell in love with her more than me. I, of course, understood, that fate was inevitable, I was simply playing with fire. But, you know, that futile hope was always there,'' Momoi bit her lower lip as her grip on her shirt tightened. Vaguely, Kuroko felt how a mild pang hit his heart that didn't seem to be his own. The pinkette was still hurt by her experience it seemed. ''And my heart... It hurt just like this. It's the same pain, I can tell. Kuroko-kun,'' She lifted her beautiful eyes and looked softly at the tealnet. Her lips shaped into a gentle smile before she continued. ''You already a person you love, correct?''
Kuroko's breathing stopped. Those words hit him harder than he had wanted. He foolishly hoped that maybe, just maybe, if he never talked about it, if no one ever mentioned it, if they all just pretended nothing of such caliber existed, maybe he'd be able to trick himself into thinking there really wasn't anything wrong. That he was fine. That his soul was fine. That it wasn't being ripped apart by his responsibilities and a certain redhead's means of ignoring them.
But the moment Momoi said the words he was trying his best to keep out of his mind, something inside Kuroko snapped.
He was naïve for thinking he would be able to fool himself.
I was stupid.
''You know, ever since that day,'' Momoi continued, seeing as how Kuroko was reluctant in speaking and only kept his head low, those teal bangs of his hiding his eyes. ''I wished to meet my soulmate so much. I had this stupid belief, one that my friends always told me, that love at first sight always blossoms between soulmates, so I thought that maybe such a person would be able to fix me. But no way,'' She once again placed her hand over her heart, closing her eyes in the process. ''could that be true if your heart hurts so much.''
''I'm so sorry, Momoi-san...'' Kuroko murmured softly, trying to keep his voice from breaking.
''No, no, don't be,'' the pinkette shook her head. ''I understand completely. If you already have someone you love, I will certainly not force you into any kind of relationship with me. I could never do that.''
The male lifted his eyes to meet Momoi's, surprise and doubt visible in his usually dull look.
''But what you said earlier-''
''That doesn't matter,'' the woman interrupted him with a gentle voice. ''It happened years ago after all. I got over it already. But you... Kuroko-kun,'' Her eyes lit up. ''If you two love each other, listen to your heart. Don't let that person go just because you were told you have to.''
''But... what about you? Didn't you say you want someone besides you?''
''Don't worry about me,'' Momoi cast a warm smile at the troubled male. ''I'll be fine. Think about yourself and your loved one more. That person must be just as distressed as you are after all, right? Not knowing whether you'll come back to them...''
Of course... He always acts as if everything is okay, but he must be anxious now...
I don't want him to hurt.
I... I have to go to him.
I must go to him.
I want to see him.
''...Thank you, Momoi-san,'' Kuroko finally spoke in a hushed voice. ''But even so, I'm afraid it's not as easy as you sound it to be.''
''It never is, huh?'' the pinkette chuckled bitterly. However, a reassuring smile quickly appeared on her lips. ''Don't worry, there is always a solution.''
That's what he told me as well.
''I'm sure if you both try your best, it'll work out eventually.''
God, I sure hope so.
''And if you'll ever need something, always feel free to ask.''
You're so...
''You're so kind, Momoi-san,'' Kuroko spoke before he could sort out his thoughts. His throat tightened from guilt as he continued. ''I am so sorry you got me as your soulmate... You deserve someone so much better.''
''No, no, don't say that!'' the pinkette shook her head in protest, a slight blush appearing on her cheeks. ''It's not your fault your heart belongs to someone else. I always had this secret thought that this system wasn't right... Though maybe we could still stay as friends?'' she finished off with a nervous smile.
''Of course, that would be nice,'' Kuroko answered genuinely, the corners of his lips twitching upwards for the first time in a few days.
''Great then! However, I believe you have some business to take care of at the moment, correct?~ Don't keep your love waiting for too long~''