Director Mäkelä led Ella's group to a room in which there was some equipment laid out ready for them. "I don't understand why only Ella was given any defensive capability; maybe your mysterious benefactor was intending giving stuff to you two in person but for the minute you can make use of these combat suits." He picked up Eric's and tossed it to him "and we've made certain yours tears apart easy in case you change." He told Haako as he threw him his heavier bundle. "We didn't know if you'd need anything else. After all we haven't had time to run all the tests the science team wanted to."
"I change?" asked Haako.
"How many times do I have to ask?" Ella stated as she dreamt of the chow mein, her mouth began watering again.
'Are you coming?' The brain asked.
"Suit up in the Quinjet boys. Seems S.H.E. is in a hurry" Mäkelä told them.
'Like all women' Eric thought, not meaning to but Ella didn't seem to take offence and thankfully they were no longer linked by the Brain. Mäkelä hurried them from the room, the building to the airstrip where one jet remained, prepped and ready to go.
Inside there were seats for eight in the hold and the pilot wasted no time taking off; before the ramp was fully closed or anyone had strapped in. As Ella fumbled with the five point harness she noticed the two pilots were in white uniforms she didn't recognise but suspected they were either S.H.E. support staff or Finnish air force camouflaged for winter. Their Valkyrie, the Finnish one, was sat in her seat holding onto her chair, not bothering with the harness but they all did even though there was no illuminated sign to demand it.
'What about Donald?' Ella asked the boys silently with her thoughts; she didn't want this Valkyrie overhearing until they knew they could trust it. She understood what the dwarve's message had meant now but thought she had best check, not pass the ring too soon. Not that she since Donald had it. "That was FIRE in Tikkakoski wasn't it?" she asked the armoured hero. It nodded back seemingly reluctant to attempt a conversation over the roar of the engines vertical take-off.
'We leave Donald out of this for now." Eric advised 'Don't even mention him, he's our ace in the hole.'
'Leave me out of what?' Donald asked.
'Saving Finland from an alien invasion with a group of heroes called S.H.E.' Eric thought back.
'Shit really? You guys have all the fun. Don't forget I've got your mail and the spare ring. Oh and try to get me a date with Oracle.'
'You know these guys?' Ella asked.
'They're S.H.E. Ells; everybody knows them.' Donald and Eric chimed back in virtual unison.
Sometime later as the jet sped over the northern wastes, the snow laden clouds, their Valkyrie finally spoke "Well be arriving soon, put these helmets on they will give you a bit of protection and are wired with coms so we can all communicate even if the Brian goes down. If that does happen most of S.H.E. know some English."
"We don't" Ella stated indicating herself and Haako.
"Well" said their Valkyrie "Don't bother trying to speak to anyone out of this group I don't think any are much good with Finnish, if they understand any at all. The plan is to drop us off about two kilometres from the aliens from a height of about eight hundred meters. We'll meet up with the others, get further information and formulate a plan before we attack." They put the helmets on.
"About how long?" Eric asked the Valkyrie who had a clearly feminine voice. "and where are the parachutes?"
"About five minutes and I'll carry you two whilst Storm maiden fly's by herself. That is unless either of you boys fly?" The Valkyrie responded.
To be honest I don't think either me or my friend have a clue what we can do but jumping out of a plane to see if you can fly doesn't seem sensible; we'll take the assist." Eric pointed out.
"Have you really no idea?" an electronic voice not unlike the male Siri asked via the helmet.
"No" Eric answered "Seems Haako has violent episodes in which he can't remember what he's done and me well I'm just a super soldier serum enhanced human women seem compelled to fuck."
"Great" said Siri not sounding at all sarcastic "Recon tells us all the aliens appear male and an unreasoning Hulk we could really do without."
"Shit that's it!" Eric announced excited and flustered "We're someones joke versions of the classic Avengers. Ella you have a shield just like cap and you use archaic melee weapons, throw lighting and fly; remind you of anyone?"
"Thor I guess?" Ella responded the similarity was too striking, how come no one had noticed.
"Thor and Cap are big strong powerhouses though so he picked a tiny anorexic girl; shit we're all parodies. You Haako are Banner. Banner is an eminent scientist who changes into a mindless monster. You Haako are hardly the sharpest tool in the box intellect wise even before you change and we're supposed to give the fifth ring to this Valkyrie. Make her part of our five person team? She has to be a poor approximation to Iron man?" Eric was on a roll but then he came to himself and Donald. Donald had got there first though asking
'So which of us is Hawkeye and which the Black Widow?'
"I guess I'm the widow and he's turned a super-agent able to use her good looks to her advantage into a reasonable martial artist who hasn't a hope of doing so because women are obsessed with impaling themselves on my cock."
'They're the breaks I guess Eric you get to have any woman you like whilst I can just be anybody I like.' Donald joked 'I can't be Hawkeye though, I haven't even been given a ranged weapon.'
'No you don't get it Donald it's not just women I'd like to, it's all of them regardless!'
"Drop zone in 30 seconds, opening the ramp!" One of the pilot's shouted back despite clearly being audible, wired into the coms by his own helmet. The lights dimmed, they were dropping through the clouds buffeted by turbulence and by no means ready but it was too late to turn back now.
After the hurried descent they quickly found the others despite the now quite heavy snow and strong wind. The other white Quinjet had landed and everyone had crammed inside to discuss a plan of attack. There were three new people who the Brain quickly introduced as the Swedish Magma (a thermal energy user), Greek Oracle (a precog) and Danish Valkyrie (who looked identical to their own baring a few decals here and there and the Danish flag on her left pauldron). He then explained there was a fourth person, an Italian called Interface but he was 'yet to establish himself in this reality'. Everyone else seemed to ignore this statement so Ella thought it best not to ask.
'There are a couple of hundred aliens excavating something at the site. They must either have teleport technology or their drop ships have abandoned them to their task. There are no large machines or permanent structures. The aliens appear to be male homoeothermic reptilian males about human size and mass although quite heavily built.' Oracle explained from deep within her fur lined white Parker. 'They have combat armour we have not been able to assess the effectiveness of and are routinely armed with pistols and entrenching tools.'
'One thing of note,' The Danish Valkyrie added 'They have quite a high thermal image, so either they themselves or the suits appear quite hot. This does mean it will be easier for us' she indicated the other Valkyrie 'to target them, but assuming they have IR targeting it will be easier for them to identify avoiding friendly fire incidents. Just target those of us that aren't 39 degrees.'
'Do any of you new guys have thermal imaging?' Magma asked, to which they all shook their heads and the air around him hazed momentarily as he increased his temperature to match that of the aliens.
'Could it mean they are more susceptible to cold?' Red dragon asked.
'Possibly but we really have no way of knowing.' The brain replied 'You may as well use your frost fingers but I don't think anyone else has the capacity to apply cold damage.' The brains eyes scanned the group. 'Anyone?' Again the Ella, Eric & Haako shook their heads.
"Have we tried talking to them? Negotiating? Diplomacy?" Eric asked forgetting to just think it, but the Brain translated anyhow.
'I spawned a reality in which I gave that a go and things didn't go too well for that alternate self. In fact I've spawned several realities based on different tactical approaches but I didn't know we had these guys so never factored them in, in each time-line we lost but if we use the plan which had us closest to winning these four will tip the balance I'm certain. I have a good feeling about them.' It seemed S.H.E. where used to taking her advice, accepting of her hunches and it wasn't long before the three elements used were ready to attack along with the 'Avengers Fennoscandia' as Eric had dubbed his team, although the Brain still called them team three he found numbers faster to think if than words.
The plan was a simple one, which given Ella and Haako's intellect was essential, very simple; attack from three directions, rather than the pincer Oracle had simulated previously with the two Valkyries and Quinjet 2 opening fire from above. The aliens would scatter and divided would fall taken out by the three teams of three whilst the airborne assault rained fire from the sky. The brain would co-ordinate from inside this Quinjet, Quinjet 1, which would stay grounded acting as potential back up or a fall-back position. Interface had pulled himself into this reality.
'Everyone's ready' Oracle told them, there was no point in waiting for people to say they were when it was obvious, to her at least. She concentrated and for a second light seemed to radiate from everywhere. 'OK that's another reality created. Let's hope we win in this one.'
'Yes let's hope it works this time.' Prayed Interface 'I'm getting sick of recreating myself to…' He was going to say today but didn't after all time was pretty meaningless when Oracle was calling the shots. The three person teams headed out to their starting positions and then lay low waiting for the command to act or at least the roar of mini-guns.
"Ella, you know what you said about curses?" Eric asked as they hid in a copse of pines and thick spongy fern.
"I was only repeating what Doctor Dwarf said; that 'with great power came great curses'."
"I think I've worked that out too. We're not only mockeries of the avengers but also of ourselves."
"How can anyone be a mockery of themselves?" Haako asked.
"Well you have an anger issue that's been enhanced, far worse than it used to be. I mean you used to just kill the occasional perp, now you murder whole groups and bite people's heads off. Donald had life threatening depression but now even if it gets really bad he can't kill himself. Ella had serious life threatening food issues and now all I see her do is eat." Ella considered she hadn't had the Singapore noodles, pancake roll and sauce and was hungry, unbearably so. She had never eaten as much as she had the last few days but
"With no guts comes no calories." She chirped in happily "and you have relationship issues and now you can't actually have a relationship. The girls don't want to play; they just want to fuck you."
"A curse like that I could be happy with." Haako stated. He had relationship issues also, the sheer scale of him one hundred and ninety three centimetres and close to a hundred kilos before the change tended to put girls off and those it didn't he'd find a way to avoid before they laughed at his tiny penis.
'Fire!' Shouted the brain and they heard the Gatling's rip and the repulsors buzz as they ionised the air up ahead. 'Stand ready teams you should have incoming in: ten, nine,' The brain continued the countdown and they steadied themselves.
"How many?" Ella asked Eric, interpreted the thought behind her inadequate question.
"Two hundred divided by twelve is about seventeen a piece." The aliens ran past the copse and she attempted to skewer one, but even though it was surprised, an easy mark her sword skimmed off his armour to no effect. It immediately turned and shot her catching her off guard. She felt the flesh beneath her armour burn as her undergarment shriveled and burnt. She swung the sword again but not only did the creature parry with its gun, more a carbine than a pistol, held in two hands to execute blocks more easily it betrayed the fact that these aliens were trained, highly trained. Her sword bounced off without even damaging its weapon. The alien swept her leg, it was faster than her, then leveled the gun at her unprotected head as she sat spray legged in the snow in-front of him and waited for death.
Her shield parried the shot away as she sprung up floating in the air in front of him, she impaled his eye with the tip of her blade then fried his brain with lightning. His other eye exploded as he fell from her but she was already aware of two shots impacting her shield as she spun and another burning her arse just where the coastguard had shot her. "My arse must be huge!" she screamed "I'm going on a diet if I survive this!"
Eric had somehow already downed three as if he were demonstrating Aikido at an exhibition but they weren't: dead, unconscious or disabled. Momentarily stunned and defenseless it would only take another well aimed strike if someone could make it, but no one could. Haako wasn't Haako anymore. It stood almost four meters tall, it's head lost in the low branches but it was clear what it was; a great bear, fur with the luster of spun gold and although they shot him point blank and it was clear he was taking bloody wounds but they didn't phase him whilst his monstrous claws cut through their defenses like paper, dragging their organs from them, depositing them in the settling snow.
She spun unleashing all the strength she could muster, a coiled spring unwinding into the air expecting there to be nothing there, but there was. The alien targeting her back with its entrenching tool lost his head. Somewhere in the snow an alien commander already had a firm grasp of the situation, she could hear him barking instructions that were quite unintelligible, words she couldn't respond to 'If only I spoke alien.'
'He's instructing his troops to focus their attentions on the bear. He has recognised Eric can keep a few down but can't take them out whilst you are perhaps too tough for their 'basic weapon' to harm. They're planning on grappling you, pinning you down until heavy weapons turn up.' The Brain informed her. Almost instantly an alien grabbed her shield and holding it firmly fell to the ground dragging her with him. She drew back her blade and immediately that arm was grasped firmly by another whilst a third grabbed her legs; she fell dropping her sword.
Beyond she could see four aliens who had holstered their weapons and were actually sparing with Eric. As one fell another sprung to its feet and whenever he tried to move in to finish one, two attacked forcing his retreat. Most of their group were shooting Haako who roared and bled whilst occasionally swatted one. Despite this sporadic disembowelment their moral seemed unshakable. The commander, slightly larger with armour that was more ornate stepped out of the blizzard and stood over her a foot either side of her scrawny body; he lowered the barrel of his weapon until she was staring down it.
'Can anyone HELP!' she screamed mentally then she tried to surrender but it was clear he didn't understand. She watched as his finger began to flex, then he fell on her.