Gemini

Gemini (The Twins) : Keyword: "I think". Logical, inquisitive, lively, active, curious, multi-tasking, talkative, sociable, duality, mercurial, whimsical, restless, informed. Ruling Planet : Mercury : Mentality, communication, (especially for short distances), thought processes, teaching, schooling and basic education, literary pursuits, the immediate environment or neighborhood, capacity to be logical, detached and rational. Ruler of the zodiac signs Gemini and Virgo.

The sunrise on Aberdeen broke the cold of night with a whisper, bringing with it a hanging mist that mingled in the orange sunlight on the dewy ground. Jayne Cobb watched in silence, a morning breeze stirring just at his boots. He stood halfway to the barn in the middle of the pasture, staring out to the east, the sun turned south for the summer.

The calf-high grass shifted behind him but he didn't turn. He knew the sound of her footsteps even when she didn't make a sound. River approached from behind, slipping her arm around his and pulling herself close against his side. His mouth turned down, hard and cold and sad against the soft rising sun. River pressed her forehead into his upper arm as she cradled herself to him.

"Never woke up," she said quietly. "Simon checked. He's gone, Jayne."

"Son of a bitch," Jayne growled, his voice catching painfully. "That son of a bitch. He ain't allowed to go nowhere." He wasn't even trying to hide the sound of the oncoming flood.

"Respect the dead, Jayne," she whispered into his arm. Her fingers stroked up and down his forearm calmingly, lovingly. "Lived a good life, said so himself. Knew he wasn't going to wake up."

When his knees finally buckled from under him, she went with him into the grass. She held him against her chest and stroked his hair, his back, watching the sunrise with her own silent tears to match her husband's. She swore that she would, of course, never tell Geoff.

The sun was high before anyone found time to work. Jayne secluded himself in the barn with the five milk cows Ma and Geoff had managed to take care of thus far. Ma wanted the funeral at dusk. Mal volunteered to dig. Geoff joined him.

They lit lanterns around the patch of dirt Ma had fenced off far behind the house a long time ago. Three mounds of dirt, two old graves and one fresh one. Amos Cobb, died when Geoff was only three, leaving Jayne the man of the house. Amos Jr., the first of Ma's children who fell dead to disease before his teeth came in. And now a third Cobb joined the plot with a rough headstone with only room for his name. Matthew Horace Cobb, taken by the damp-lung that had him marked since childhood. He died in his sleep.

Book opened his Bible to a dog-eared passage and ran fingers over familiar text. He tested the silk ribbon between thumb and forefinger, sweeping eyes over the lantern-lit congregation. Kaylee clung to Simon's side, a comforting coo from her to him; Geoff, with the dirt of his brother's grave still smudged on his face; Mal, leaning sadly on his shovel and Inara standing with a soft hand anchored on his shoulder; Wash and Zoe with hands clutched tight almost out of lantern light, both leaned into one another as if to try and meld; and far off, Jayne, River and the baby, the eldest stone-faced and his wife wordless. Molly burbled happily.

Book snapped his Bible shut, and Ma, kneeling at Mattie's headstone, looked up worriedly.

"Preacher?"

"Mrs. Cobb," Book started, tucking his Bible into the crook of his arm, "the Bible has many words on death and dying. I like most of them; I could pull out a passage about the valley of death and fearing no evil, but it wouldn't be for your son. There's no words for Mattie in this book."

Jayne's eyebrows drew down as Mal's shot up.

"I'd like to use my own words--if that's all right with you, of course." He tried on a caring smile, and Ma nodded at last.

"Go on, Shepherd. Word from you is the word 'a God somehow, I reckon. You got a nice voice."

"Thank you," Book replied, bowing his head slightly. He knelt to the ground beside Ma and offered his hand to her. She gripped back, feeble but firm. "This boy suffered for his life, every minute of it. He was a strong boy to live it through like he did, and I don't think a soul here could deny it. I didn't know him as well as I should have, but he called on me for his Last Rites. I learned that Mattie was a determined young man--smart, strong, loyal, stubborn... and very much like his brother, who I can say I know a little bit better."

Jayne looked up at this, and one side of his lips twitched down. He tried to suppress it to no avail, and finally nodded in Book's direction.

"Before he died," Book continued, "he told me about his respect for his brothers. His love for his mother. His lack of regret. He wanted me to know that he had a good life. He wanted all of you to know that he had a good life. He didn't want there to be any mistake." He looked up as Geoff knelt beside him, taking his free hand, but he didn't pause. "He wanted you, Geoffrey, to know he admired the way you took care of your mother when he couldn't. And Abigail," he turned to Ma, "for your perseverence in the face of hardship. And Jayne--"

"Don't, Preacher," Jayne interrupted suddenly. He yanked the cigar from his mouth and tossed it into the growing darkness. "I know he didn't say nothin' good about me. I can't read no one's mind but I know when someone's lyin' to me." He scooped Molly up out of River's arms and stalked away past lanterns toward the distant farmhouse.

"Jayne--" River called after him, her voice turning up into nothing and carried away by the wind.

He didn't return to his room. He'd shared it with Mattie years ago, and the cold feeling at the back of his neck kept him from moving through the door frame. He took Molly into the family room, which was dark now that the sun had set. The little girl bubbled nonsense in her mouth, yanking at the collar of her father's shirt.

"Gorramit, girl," he muttered, holding her close with one hand as he turned up the lantern on a side table. The growing pool of yellow light fell on the battered armchairs, the dusty table forgotten in the anxious last days of Mattie Cobb. Jayne didn't sit. The impression made by his father still haunted the chair, and he stared down in stoic silence.

Molly gurgled happily.

"It ain't right," Jayne muttered as he sat on the rug before the sagging armchair. he fixed Molly to sit cradled in his arms, her head wobbling to get a scope of the room from their new position. "I'll kill a man if I think he deserves it," he admitted, "but just dyin' ain't right. A man shouldn't have t' go like he did, Baby Bear."

She turned to his voice at the last, her toothless smile widening. She made a tiny crowing noise, her fist reaching out for his face. He dodged her initial attack and finally relented to her fingers gripping at his hair. It'd gotten long.

"Man oughta go down fightin'. Boy just went out like a ruttin' candle. Ain't right." He smirked when her other hand found his hair and she locked all her fingers atop his head. "You ain't got a worry in the world, Molly Cobb. Wish I was you sometimes."

She returned one fist to her mouth.

"Listen," he said, looking his daughter in the eye, "I don't care what the preacher tells ya, death ain't nothin' to celebrate 'less you're gettin' paid for it, dong ma? You gotta promise me you ain't gonna know anything about dyin' until you have to. You got me, Baby Bear?"

"Her brain waves spiked," River said as she appeared from the shadows. Jayne jumped; Molly was unfazed.

"Shit, bao bei, we been married I don't remember how long and I still ain't used t' you sneakin' around." She folded her legs to sit down beside him. "What's goin' on out there?"

"Jayne caused a stir when he stormed off. Left his mother in tears."

"Yeah, well," at least he looked guilty, "she was cryin' already."

"Even Aunt Malcolm was speechless." She ran fingers thoughtlessly over his knuckles. "You want to talk about it." A statement, not a question. She rarely asked questions anymore.

"Do not," he replied defiantly.

She brushed back his hair, which had gone uncut for almost too long. He didn't meet her eyes. "Still a man. Don't want them to see your armor crack even when they know Molly and I have already crawled inside."

"Cut it out," he uttered, nearly silent. Her hand didn't draw away.

"Molly likes it when you talk to her," she replied after a pause.

"She don't know what I'm sayin'."

"Knows more than you think she does. Like me. Like her Mama Bear. Taking it all in like a tiny sponge, and someday she'll squeeze it all back out." River attempted a smile. "Jayne?"

He took a heavy sigh before meeting her eyes. "Yeah, ni zi?"

"Don't live inside yourself. It only gets worse the further in you go, deeper into the cave, far back until there's no more light to see which way you came from. I don't want to lose you in the cave, too." Her mouth turned down. He didn't reply. Her eyebrows crept up. "Jayne?"

"What?"

"I love you." Her voice titled up at the end and she pressed her lips tight in response. Her voice wobbled: "Jayne, I love you." The last word dissolved as her tears bubbled up. She stubbornly wiped at her eyes and fought back the shake in her shoulders. She couldn't help herself. She still couldn't help herself.

"C'mere," he said at last, his voice low and dark as his fingers curling at the back of her neck brought their foreheads to rest together. She sniffled twice and fitted her eyes shut.

"Sometimes my head buzzes, and I don't know what to say," she burbled, a creek un-dammed. "It sounds different on my lips; I know what I want to say but I can't say it. Want to make you feel better, take it all away like you take mine away when I cry. I can't do it, not as good as Jayne."

"You're just fine, baby," he murmured, his own eyes falling closed. "Ain't no way t' fix me anyhow. You're stuck with what you got."

A half-giggle, half-hiccup escaped her and she calmed herself out of the tears with steadied breaths. His fingers were warm on the back of her neck. Neither moved, foreheads touching and eyes closed in the half-dark of the family room.

"When Mattie and me were kids," he said finally, breaking the silence with a voice that was unsure of itself, "he weren't strong enough t' play outside all the time, like I was. He'd look real sad when I went out for chores, but I always come back at lunchtime. Ma'd be in the kitchen makin' somethin', and me 'n Mattie--" He laughed, something surprisingly soft. "We sat right here, pretendin' we were off in the 'Verse, flyin' ships and raisin' hell wherever we went."

"My hui xiong always raises hell," River whispered, her smile ticking up.

"I can't keep on thinkin' about him bein' dead, little bear," Jayne said after much thought. "Preacher's got his way of goin' about death and I got mine. Ain't sensible to worry 'bout Mattie any more. It sure as hell ain't fair, but he's gone. I got livin' folks to worry about."

"Makes sense," River replied. Her eyes opened in surprise. "It makes sense."

He finally smiled, watching her recognition grow. "First for everything."

Then, as Molly stretched her arms out toward her mother, she made a tiny grunting sound followed by two distinct syllables: "Mama."

River's mouth went wide in pleasure and she shouted an enraptured laugh as she scooped Molly into her arms. "Mama! Jayne, did you hear?"

"I did," he responded, looking slightly put-out. "Damn, I was hopin' for her first word. How hard is it t' say daddy anyhow?"

"Mama!" River cried, standing and sweeping her child up after her, eliciting a string of childish giggles. "Molly, say it again! Oh, Jayne, her first word!"

"Hey, she ain't gotta say it again. She already said yours." He stood to match River, leaning down over her to grab Molly's attention. "Can't I get nothin' out 'a you, cub? Just gimme a papa, or somethin'."

Molly grabbed again at her father's hair and gurgled. River shook her head, grinning. "She thinks you need a haircut."

"Fei hua," Jayne grumbled, standing back to his full height and pulling his girls against his chest. "She likes it."

River nodded, snuggling in against him. "Me too."

They had a late dinner, the crew and what was left of the Cobbs gathered around a table meant for more. Ma unthinkingly laid a plate at Mattie's place and didn't have the heart to remove it after. Kaylee and Wash helped with the food. Geoff still hadn't washed and no one thought to tell him.

Jayne, River and Molly emerged from the family room, parents beaming and baby babbling nonsense with half a fist in her mouth.

"Hey preacher," Jayne said as he pulled a chair out for River and the baby to sit. Book looked up solemnly. "Them was pretty nice words. What I heard of 'em anyways."

"Thank you, Jayne," Book said, nodding thankfully as he folded his hands before him.

Silence ensued as Kaylee and Wash began doling servings out onto plates. Jayne didn't sit at once, looking around at the somber faces. Jayne rolled his eyes in an exaggerated way, catching the attention of Simon and Inara, who looked halfway appalled at the man's behavior.

"Oh, come on," Jayne said finally. "What the hell 're you doin'?"

"Case you haven't noticed," Mal said without looking up, "someone died this morning, Jayne."

"Yeah, my little brother," he retorted. "And if I ain't feelin' sorry for myself, why the hell are all 'a you? Geoff's just a kid, he's awright if he wants t' mope."

"I ain't a kid--" Geoff tried to interject, but Jayne continued.

"I was there when Mattie went t' sleep," he said, looking Mal straight in the eye. "So was you. He knew he wasn't gonna wake up, said his peace, shook your hand. I ain't gonna waste any 'a my time worryin' about someone whose worryin' is all said 'n done. Neither should you, Cap'n."

Ma broke into tears at the stove, where Kaylee wrapped her arms around her and comforted her. Kaylee turned her head to scold Jayne, it was written in her eyes. The Ma's arm emerged and waved off Kaylee's ire.

"He's right, darlin'. Mattie told me not t' cry. I ain't done so well, have I?"

"You done fine," Kaylee assured her, smiling carefully.

Ma dabbed away her tears and brought out her own smile. "Enough 'a that. Mattie's watching us all and laughin'. A buncha hens, that's what we are." She moved to Jayne's side and caught him in a suffocating embrace. She moved onto Geoff, who gasped for breath. "Gotta love the sons I got," she said as she cracked the bread open and sent one half across the table to Zoe.

The only light in the darkness outside were three points of red light, the ends of two cigars. Jayne blew out a puff of smoke with a growl. "These're the last 'a what I got."

Mal coughed into the darkness. "These are terrible!"

Jayne shrugged, lost to all three of them. "Got 'em with your coin."

"Tell me," Book said, savoring his own cigar, "do you have a long-term plan for us here, Captain?"

"What, you got somewhere else you gotta be, Shepherd?" Mal laughed, half-choking on the oppressive cloud of smoke.

"Not as much," Book chuckled back. "I just have to wonder. We can't live on Mrs. Cobb's hospitality forever. And I know you, Captain. You're born to the sky."

"You got that right," Mal replied, "but you don't know me, preacher."

"Hell, I know ya well enough, Mal," Jayne said with a grin. "Nice 'a you t' take care of us like ya been, but we ain't your responsibility and you know it."

"You're my crew, Jayne," Mal said, lowering his eyebrows just enough to be noticed in the cigar light. "What'd I tell you 'bout my crew?"

Jayne took another long draw and watched the smoke rise up into the starred sky. "I been thinkin'."

"Oh no," Mal muttered under his breath, bringing another laugh from the preacher.

"No, hear me out. Reason we're hidin' out is 'cause them Alliance folk 're still chasin' after River. Me 'n her killed a few of 'em on Dorian, and there's them Delemares we shot out the airlock after takin' care of those hun dans on Angel. Way I see it, ain't no way t' know for sure how many of 'em there are or where they are 'less--"

"No way," Mal cut in. He threw down the last stub of his cigar and ground it out. "Your thought pattern's real easy t' follow Jayne, and I don't like where you're takin' this."

"What the hell am I s'posed t' do Mal?" Jayne raised his voice, hackles raising. "I'm hidin' out at my mother's, fer God's sake! I'm a dad now, and I gotta take care 'a what's mine."

Book blew another smoke cloud into the silence.

"You know what you gotta do, Mal. S'what's good 'n right. You keep us on and they're gonna get bored one day 'n shoot Serenity right outta the sky. Ain't anyone here wants that."

Mal stared across the darkness at his merc, fists tight in apprehension. "Sometimes, Jayne, I like your plans even less than mine."

fei hua - nonsense

AN: Uhm... hi guys. I mean HOWDY!! It's sure been a while, ain't it?! Well, someone (this is your shout out, Sunshineali!!) got me up off my ass finally, and I'm back around to finish off this little trilogy! It took me long enough, didn't it? I don't think I have a proper excuse for taking so long with this story (although it has a lot to do with Lost coming back and in full force, but we'll ignore that for now). Anyway, welcome back to the chronicles of the Cobbs! Sorry I started out my return with something sad, but I thought I shouldn't go full in to action yet, as I'm testing out my sea legs again. Time to put my Rayne-coat back on and get back into the swing of things. Lemme know how my comeback sounds, tell me if I need to fix anything, and leave us some love! And, since I haven't said it in a while... STAY AWESOME!!