Garnet-colored bones fizzled into existence just in time to stop the yellow-amber axes from hitting their targets. Some of the bones cracked. Some of the axes shattered. But, for the most part, the two attacks met head on.

Alphys turned, snarling, to the stairs. Sans was standing on the second-to-the-top step. He was dressed in a t-shirt and shorts. Magic fire raged around Sans' body. Alphys would bet serious money that his pjs would have burn marks come morning. They usually did. Alphys had wondered if Sans suffered from nightmares. Then she had deliberately forgotten that thought. She was the Captain of the Royal Guard. She couldn't even consider actually caring about a mere trainee. That was against this world's rules. "Don't love, and don't be loved" bit hard.

"DON'T HURT HIM. HE'S BEEN HURT ENOUGH," Razz called out.

Alphys frowned. "He's an intruder! A thief, probably. Don't tell me you're getting sentimental over a thief."

"I'M NOT," Sans said condescendingly.

She hated that. Just because he was standing on something that made him taller than her, (which he wasn't! She was three inches taller than he was, even if they both were the shortest people in the Underground at 4'3" and 4'6") even then, he still didn't have the right to talk to her like that.

Still, she couldn't help but take his bait. "Then what are you doing?"

"PREVENTING ONE HOUSEGUEST FROM MURDERING ANOTHER. I'D RATHER NOT HAVE TO CLEAN UP ANYMORE DUST," Sans stated.

Alphys' eyes narrowed. "If he's a houseguest, then why didn't you tell me about him earlier? Where will he be sleeping? Who is he?"

Sans rolled his eyes. "BECAUSE IT WASN'T RELEVANT. HE IS MY HOUSEGUEST. YOU ARE MY HOUSEGUEST. PAPYRUS SET UP A CAMP BED FOR HIM IN HIS ROOM. HE'LL SLEEP THERE. HE'LL BE NO BOTHER TO YOU. AND WHO HE IS IS IRRELEVANT."

Blue spoke up from between them, capturing both of their attention. He was still trembling, but now he looked even smaller than he actually was. "i'm b-b-blue. nice to...meet you?"

Alphys knocked back her head in a full-bodied laugh. When it ended, she wiped her eye. Sans rolled his eyes at her. She snorted and laughed some more. Sans and Blue were starting to get uncomfortable. Why was she laughing so hard?

"Sorry," She said without an ounce of apology in her voice, "but that's hilarious. I just tried to kill you and your first response is to say 'it's nice to meet you'? What kind of sugar-coated place have you been hiding? No one acts like that here. No one."

Blue's eye lights slid to Sans, who shrugged and said, "DOES IT MATTER?"

Alphys gave him a hard look and said, her voice full of steel, "Of course it does. That kind of behaviour is against the law. Or didn't you know that? I thought you'd read the codex back to front."

"I HAVE. THE RULES ABOUT CONDUCT ARE JUST THAT. RULES. THEY'VE NEVER BEEN CODIFIED INTO LAW. IN ANY CASE, THIS IS A PRIVATE DWELLING. THE RULES DO NOT APPLY HERE. IF THEY DID, WE'D NEVER HAVE A POPULATION TO REGULATE IN THE FUTURE," Sans said smugly. He was exactly the sort of person who would read and memorize the entirety of all the laws. It suited him perfectly.

Alphys pouted. "Fine. But where would he even have learned to act like that? No one acts like that."

Blue's eyes slid towards Sans again. The other rolled his eyes and answered with the truth. It was so unbelievable he doubted she would accept it. "ANOTHER UNIVERSE. HIS MACHINE CRASH LANDED IN OUR BASEMENT."

"Yeah, right," Alphys nearly snarled, "And I'm the fucking Royal Scientist. There's no way that's true."

"BELIEVE WHAT YOU WANT, THEN. I'VE TOLD YOU THE TRUTH," Sans said distainfully.

Alphys moved with a speed that was impressive. She was standing with Blue pinned to the wall in less than a second. He started coughing up blood, but she didn't care. Her hand had slid under his shirt and ribcage and wrapped around his soul.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" Sans screamed.

Alphys shouted back, "Finding out where the hell he's from. His soul will tell me, I just-"

Her voice stopped dead as she stared at the mess of a soul in her hands. It was barely held together by the faint web of purple magic wrapped around it. Cracks didn't so much criss-cross it as dissect it. There were eight pieces, each a different color. The smallest was the orange piece. The largest two were the dark and light blue fragments. Only the two blue pieces, the yellow piece, and the green piece were at all glowing. The rest were dim like a crystal through the smoke.

"What. The. Hell," Alphys looked ashen, "How is he still alive. How are you still alive?" She shifted her attention to Blue.

The smallest skeleton was dark eyed and shaking like a leaf. When he did speak, it was in a croak. "i'm...someone helped me. back home, someone helped me. muffet, only not this muffet. she was much smaller and younger."

Alphys looked at his soul for a moment, bringing up his complete check for all to see:

"Sans / Blue" (Undertale)

"His home is as broken as his soul."

"He's traveled the longest way."

1 LV

0.3 / 0.3 HP

60 / 60 MP

AT: 1 (0)

DF: 1 (-1)

EXP: 0

NEXT: 10

WEAPON: None

ARMOUR: None (Injured!)

GOLD: 32,033

Silence reigned for almost a minute. Then Papyrus' voice floated down from above them. "welp. that's certainly something."

"What. The. Hell," Alphys repeated herself. She looked almost ashy white. Then she shook it off and said, "Sans. Explain."

"I ALREADY TOLD YOU. HE SHOWED UP IN A MACHINE IN OUR BASEMENT. HE LOOKS LIKE ME, AND HIS NAME IS MINE, SO WE TOOK HIM IN. HE'S CLEARLY NOT FROM HERE. AREN'T HIS STATS PATHETIC? NO ONE IN HIS WORLD HAS EXP."

"Then who the hell hurt him?!" Alphys demanded.

Blue croaked again. "there was a human. they killed almost everyone in the underground. the ones that are left are being ruled by the empress, undyne. she hurt me."

Silence reigned for another few seconds. Alphys broke it. She spoke as if her words were coming from a long ways away. "I suppose self-interest applies to another version of yourself. Since we no longer have a Royal Scientist, I suppose I can't demand you turn him over. I'm not giving you any supplies for him, though. If he lives, fine. If he dies, even better. I expect you not to let this...houseguest...get in the way of your training."

Sans sneered, "AS IF I WOULD ALLOW ANYTHING TO GET IN THE WAY OF THAT. WHO DO YOU TAKE ME FOR, A WEAKLING?"

Papyrus butted in with a laugh barely hidden under his serious voice, "nah, bro. that's what we take him for."

"GO BACK TO BED, MUTT," Sans said with annoyance, "THIS DOESN'T CONCERN YOU."

Papyrus was openly grinning now, "can't go to bed without my new roommate."

Sans sighed. "ALPHYS, PUT HIM DOWN. LET'S ALL GO TO BED AND WE CAN SORT THIS OUT IN THE MORNING."

Alphys let Blue go, and he collapsed into a small huddle of bones on the floor. Sans sighed and waved his brother down. Papyrus picked him up and carried the exhausted and overwhelmed skeleton off to bed.