Chapter 10 - Gone Too Far
If there was one thing Shepard actually enjoyed about this whole crazy adventure, it was the evenings he spent with Fiona in her study. They'd sit on the woven rug in front of the fire, drink wine and talk about this and that. Inconsequential stuff at first, comparing the toughest fights they'd been in, sharing anecdotes and laughing about embarrassing memories. Then, one night, she'd told him about her beloved sister who had been trampled to death by an ogre, and about the night she'd lost her mother. He had taken her hand and squeezed it hard, unable to find any words.
He had talked about his own past, about losing his family on Mindoir, about losing Kaidan and Mordin and Thane. And now here he was, telling her about the boy. The boy he had never spoken about to anyone else. The kid whom he'd tried to save on Earth, only to see him burn to death in a shuttle shot down by a Reaper's laser, the boy who had haunted his nightmares ever since.
He was relieved when Fiona didn't try to comfort him with any of the phrases he had come to dread. You can't save everyone. I'm sure you did all you could. Maybe it was meant to be.
Instead she just nodded. "I know."
She didn't say more, but he realized it was the simple truth. She knew. She had been there, just like he had.
Without speaking another word, they finished the rest of the wine in their goblets. He got up to leave, stretching to work the kinks out of his neck. She looked up at him, an odd expression in her eyes, as if she was trying to work out a problem.
He smiled at her and stretched out a hand to help her up. She took it, and when he pulled, she somehow ended up far too close to him, practically in his arms, her face only a hand's width from his. Her face. So sweet. So lovely. Without thinking, he pulled her even closer and kissed her, hard and greedily.
Too greedily, it turned out. She cried out in pain when his teeth scraped her lip, then pulled back abruptly with a shriek as his hand got tangled in her hair. Her forehead bumped hard against his nose, and he cursed.
"Ouch! Careful." Her lip was bleeding and she was rubbing her scalp.
He shook his head ruefully. "I'm sorry. I'm out of practice."
Fiona smiled. "Me too. But..." He raised a questioning eyebrow, and she took his hand, pulling it up to cup her cheek. "I would like to try again."
This time they took it slow, lips brushing against each other carefully, then with more insistence, tongues slowly exploring, mutely begging for entrance, then engaging in a lazy, languorous dance that became more and more heated until they had to pause for breath.
"Much better." Fiona's face was flushed, and her breath was coming in quick gasps.
He wanted to reply with a witty remark, something about there still being room for improvement, but he found he couldn't resist her lips, couldn't help pulling her in for another long, passionate kiss, and then another. When he finally, reluctantly pulled back, she gave him a surprised look. "What's the matter?"
He shook his head. "Fiona, we can't. This has gone too far already."
Fiona snorted angrily. "Don't you think I'm old enough to decide for myself? I'm not a blushing virgin, Shepard. I know what I'm doing."
"Well, I don't!" It was his turn to get angry. "I have no idea what we are doing here, when we both know we have a few weeks at the most. This can only end in pain, and we will only make it worse if-"
"All right. I get what you're saying." There were tears in her eyes, and his chest contracted painfully at the sight of them, but he forced himself to stay aloof.
"Good." He turned and left before he could relent.
James was on his way to his room, Isabela in tow, when he saw Shepard come down the stairs, his face dark and broody. He felt a flash of worry and guilt. If he was honest, he'd been enjoying himself tremendously since they'd come here. And he had left all the troubles to Shepard. A fine N7 recruit you are, Vega!
"Hey, loco. What's up? You look like shit, if you don't mind me saying so."
Shepard didn't smile. "I don't want to talk about it James. I wouldn't mind getting drunk, though." He sounded angry and resigned at the same time.
James sighed. "Ah, I don't think they have any decent tequila in this place, or I would gladly join you."
"Don't worry, boys. I know where we can get what you need." Isabela smiled a wide, cat-like smile.
James made a face. "It's late, Boots. I'm not going all the way down to Lowtown now, just for that Krogan piss they sell at the Hanged Man."
Isabela's smile widened even further. "Not what I had in mind, big boy. Come on!" She motioned for them to follow her. "It's not far."
She was right. Only a few corners from Hawke's house she stopped in front of a huge, dilapidated mansion.
"Here we are." Taking a set of lock picks from her belt, she immediately got to work on the front door.
"Wait a minute." Shepard sounded nervous. "Are we breaking in? Not again! You people-"
"It's not what you think." With a final subtle twist of her hand, the lock gave and the door snapped open. Isabela made an inviting gesture. "Come in. But stay close behind me. There are traps all over the place."
"Damn it, Boots, where are we?" James' stomach twisted sharply as he looked around the deserted entrance hall. The house had obviously once been palatial, with marble floors and finely carved wooden panelling. But now it seemed abandoned, huge holes gaping in the roof, mould creeping up the walls. He was almost sure he could make out the remnants of some scattered human skeletons in the corners. "What kind of place is this?"
The pirate opened her mouth to speak, but at this moment, a deep voice rang out from the shadows on top of the grand stairway.
"Bela. To what do I owe the pleasure of your visit?" Fenris' lanky silhouette appeared behind the banister. "And I see you've brought guests."
Isabela beamed at the elf. "Fen. Our new friends are in need of a drink. Do you have any of the Aggregio left?"
The elf shrugged and nodded toward a broken door. Behind it steps leading into a cellar were just barely visible. "You know where to find it." He made an inviting gesture at the two men. "You'd better come upstairs."
While Isabela disappeared to get the wine, they followed Fenris into a room that was in slightly better shape than the rest of the house. Isabela returned, carrying four dusty bottles under her arms, and James began to look around for glasses. But when Fenris snorted and neatly opened a bottle for each of them with the help of his spiky gauntlets, he realized they wouldn't be needed. This was going to be serious drinking.
Shepard must have had the same thought. With a sigh, the Commander sat down on the edge of a table and raised his bottle in a brief salute. "Thank you, Fenris." He took a deep swig from the bottle, but then pulled back, eyebrows raised in surprise, staring at the label. "This is good!"
Fenris smiled sardonically. "A farewell present from my old master. It certainly does the job."
Shepard nodded. "You drink a lot then? Well, at least you seem to have the stomach for it."
Isabela laughed raucously. "He definitely does. I've never seen him too drunk to fight or fuck."
James swallowed at the implication, but managed to keep his face straight. "He may have met his master tonight. Not even a Krogan could match Shepard drink for drink."
An unexpected grin was spreading over the elf's face. "Is this a challenge, Commander?"
Shepard crossed his arms and tilted his chin upwards. "Why not? You up for it?"
Fenris leant back with a rusty chuckle, stretching like a large cat. "Always. But I should warn you, Commander. My markings give me an unfair advantage."
Shepard looked intrigued. "What are they? I've never seen anything like them."
Fenris' face closed up again. "Pure lyrium." His lips tightened. "Are you here to talk or to drink, Commander?"
Shepard's face mirrored the elf's. "You're right." Raising his bottle, he took another draught. "Drink it is, then."
The next few hours passed in a blur, and when James was finally staggering back to Hawke's house, supporting a comatose Shepard, he was too far gone to do anything but nod weakly when Isabela kissed him goodnight on the doorstep.
"Bye, big boy. I don't think you'd be up for our usual games tonight." She disappeared into the darkness, her white teeth flashing in an easy smile.
The Chantry court was quiet and shady at this time of the day, the morning sun just barely breaching the high walls. Ashley didn't know why she was here. Maybe to thank Sebastian, maybe to apologize. But when he answered her knock and she saw him standing there in the narrow frame of the cell door, she found she didn't know what to say. He hadn't put his armour on yet and was wearing only pants and a shirt.
"Ashley?" His voice, so deep and warm, sent shivers down her spine.
"Sebastian." She realized she was trembling. "I-"
He stepped aside with a courteous gesture. "Come in."
This is a bad idea. Ashley knew she shouldn't be here. I should leave him alone. But she didn't stop, feeling as if an invisible force was dragging her into the room. As she stepped across the threshold, she heard the door fall shut. Sebastian sighed.
Ashley turned around, opening her mouth to speak, but the expression on his face made her fall silent. For a long moment they just stood there, both of them, staring at each other, their eyes saying more than they could ever put into words. The moment she took a small step forward, he did the same. Strong arms wrapped around her, and she was pulled close to his long, lean body. And then Sebastian was kissing her, kissing her with a passion she could never have imagined and would never forget, hard and hungry, plundering her mouth with a greed that made her toes curl. She heard herself make a noise she hardly recognized - was that a whimper? - and then she completely lost track of her surroundings. Nothing else existed but the heat of his mouth, the firmness of his hands on her waist, the musky, male scent of him surrounding her.
When he finally broke the kiss, he held her for a moment, pressing his forehead to hers. "Ashley..."
His voice was husky, and she could feel the tension in his body, ready to break, as taut as a bowstring. She held her breath, waiting, not daring to move. For a moment the delicate balance between them seemed to tilt, and his grip on her tightened.
"Why now?" She cursed herself the moment the words crossed her lips. Way to break the mood, Williams.
He pulled back with a deep sigh and shook his head, clearly struggling to control himself. "I... didn't want you to kiss me just to buy my services. But that doesn't mean I-" He broke off.
Ashley rubbed her eyes. "God, I'm so stupid."
A quick gasp, almost a sob, and then he looked up and the expression in his blue eyes took her breath away. "You were so worried you couldn't tempt me. Maker, Ashley, if there was a chance, any chance at all-"
He turned his head away, biting his lip hard. Ashley cursed inwardly. What was she doing? She had no right to turn his whole world upside down when she would be gone in just a few weeks.
"I'm sorry, Sebastian." I need to go, now, before we do something we'll both regret. Without looking at him again, she turned and left.
"Me too." His whisper was almost too low to hear.
An unexpected surprise for you - thanks to zevgirl's emergency beta efforts before I left for my vacation (thank you so much, my dear). Hope you enjoy it.