Thanks again for reading our madness. CPW hates cleaning almost as much as Risbee hates Duke and Snickers hates Edward. For the record, that's alot.

We do own Twilight. There we said it. We also own Google, Apple, Disney and Microsoft. Each night we roll around naked in all our money!

BPOV

I woke up to the delicious aroma of coffee and bacon. I felt like one of those cartoon characters that was pulled by the nose by a smoky stream of goodness. I don't remember getting out of bed, moving my feet or getting down the stairs, but somehow found myself sitting in one of the bay windows with the sun on my shoulders and liquid gold in my hands.

Edward was on the couch with Emmett and Jasper; Laurent perched on his lap while they watched reruns of The Muppet Show. It was eerie how much his crazy hair made him look like Animal. He looked at me questioningly when I giggled quietly to myself, but I just shook my head. Some things are better kept quiet.

Alice and Lone Wolf were in the dining room eating vegan pancakes and discussing how they shouldn't eat anything that cast a shadow while Esme was loaded the dishwasher and Carlisle read the newspaper. Things seemed almost...normal. Even Snickers seemed to have settled down. I may or may not have brainstormed about how to deal with devil cat. Something effective, but that wouldn't leave scars. I was just waiting for the appropriate time and when there were fewer witnesses.

Maybe yesterday was just crazy because of the chaos of everybody arriving, meeting new faces and whatever else. Surely every day wasn't like that. It certainly seemed like things were better today and for Edward's sake, I hope it stayed that way.

"I need to run into town to pick up some pies for Christmas dinner, anybody want to ride with me?" Esme walked into the living room, smiling at her children and wiping her hands on an apron. She looked so matronly all of a sudden, but then yesterday she seemed like a battle-axe. I wasn't sure which personality I was dealing with.

"Me! Me! Me!" Laurent went screaming across the living room in his footie pajamas to wrap himself around Esme's legs, clinging like velcro, as Emmett & Jasper followed in his their matching pajamas.

Too cute.

Obviously they had reconciled over their celeb-style differences and I sort of melted at the way they constantly touched or looked at each other. It was not in your face or overly suggestive, it was subtle. A smile here, a raised eyebrow there. A pinkie touch. You could tell that they really did love each other and as I watched Emmett, I noticed many similarities in how Edward was with me.

It made me rather swoony.

"Alice, dear? Shouldn't you go wake up Lonesome Dove and see if he has any interest in going? He might like to learn more about your childhood and the way you used to be?" Esme called out to the dining room. Bless her heart, she was trying - though I was pretty sure I did see her slip a flask into her pocket before she came out of the kitchen. Hey, there was nothing wrong with being prepared.

"Mother," Alice rolled her eyes, continuing to eat. "His name is Lone Wolf and he's sitting right here. You could at least acknowledge his existence."

"Oh my goodness, I am so sorry! It is just that his skin makes him completely blend in with the table cloth. They are the exact same shade of white, is that..." She leaned forward almost like she wanted to touch his face, but pulled back at the last second. That was probably for the best.

"It is okay, Mrs. Cullen. I already know everything I need to know about Alice. It is not important where she has been in her life; it is where she is going that is important. But I do need to make a run to Wal-Mart if there is one on the way."

What the fuck? Lone Star shops at Wal-Mart? That just seems...so...contradictory.

"Be right back," Edward whispered into my ear as I watched all of this play out. He walked into the kitchen, disappearing down into the basement before reappearing a few minutes later with a giant Tupperware container filled with gift wrapping supplies. I started to ask him what he was doing, but he just shook his head.

"How long do you think you'll be gone?" he asked the crowd of family that had gathered around, even Carlisle was there looking at a nearby plant with longing. "I need Bella to wrap presents for me and since we're not allowed upstairs together, I need to know you'll be gone long enough for her to get them all done."

"Edward, I...ouch!"

Wait, did he just kick me?

I didn't understand. I wrapped all the gifts for his family before we made the trip. They were in a box upstairs in his room and I didn't remember him buying anything else.

"And besides, I think it would be good for Bella to call her parents before their cruise leaves port." He handed me his phone and shooed me out the door as I looked back briefly with a very confused expression on my face.

What in the world was going on?