The crows cheered as bloodlust took them over. Anxious for the first fight of the day to begin, everyone turned to the video screen. It read: Touya verse PingPong.
Juri: Now, folks, a match we can all enjoy with popcorn and bug juice: Touya vs. Ping and Pong.
All of gang: AND?!
Keyakku: Hey, I might be thief, but I believe in fairness!
Yukiko: Kick their unnecessarily exposed private parts.
Ping turned to look at Yukiko, obviously offended.
Ping: I'm a girl! Are…are you calling me masculine?
Yukiko: I'm just stating the facts.
Touya: Hey, how about after the matches, we go out for dinner? Ping, Pong, do you two know any good restaurants?
Ping and Pong heard the question from across the ring.
Pong: Well, there is Red Moon Grill and Desert Rose Bar—
Ping: Are you calling me fat?
Keyakku: What are you smoking, Demon Weed?
Ping: Well, he asked me if I knew a good place to eat. That must mean I like food and therefore am morbidly obese.
Paco: Where do you pull logic from?
Pong: Sis, let's just fight and/or kill him. Then we will go visit your counselor.
The two fighters stepped into ring, awaiting the signal to start.
Juri: And let's start the fight. Don't want to miss this one, people!
Touya's opening move was his usual freezing the ring, giving him a little advantage. He stood on the ice and could maneuver perfectly with the Shinobi killer instinct. On the other hand, Ping and Pong looked as if they could hardly stand on their own two feet.
Pong: That's pointless!
Pong, having his smart moment, used the giant axe to shatter the ice around his feet. Getting a good look at his opponents, Ping and Pong had to be the ugliest twins he had ever seen. They stood at about 6'5'' with blue, greasy skin-scales. The 'dynamic' duo had this flat, purple hair; Ping's was long as Pong's was short. Their eyes did not match to the colors of their bodies, mostly because they were yellow to match the hideous, protruding teeth in and out of their mouths.
Touya: What kind of demon are you?
Pong: We are—
Ping: That's none of your business!
As the supposed 'girl' yelled at Touya, Keyakku whipped out a file on them, outside the ring.
Yukiko: Oh, I wanna read it, let me see.
Keyakku: Wait, I'll narrate what type of demon they are. You know what… Let's yell it!
Keyakku showed Yukiko the file; the two giggled.
K/Y: They're strength demons!
Focus turned back to the ring. Ping started to lose her temper.
Ping: That's it!
Ping took her giant axe and swung it at Touya, aiming for the kill. Touya barely dodged it, but he regained his composure. Pong had found a way behind Touya, ready to strike.
Touya's thoughts: Great. Caught in between two ugly strength demons. Think, Touya, think. Think like, oh god I can't believe it… I have to think like Yukiko and Keyakku.
With Pong's axe coming right for his head on a horizontal angle, Touya executed a move out of Keyakku's playbook, The Matrix. Bending backwards, he used his momentum to flip over Ping's huge weapon.
Juri: Wow, that was close, everyone. This is turning into one showdown of a match!
Ping: Pong, use move Delta B!
Pong: Right!
The siblings summoned energy blocks, reminding many of the game Tetris. The energy blocks gave off a static electricity. Yukiko moved as far from the ring as possible without leaving the ring area. Keyakku glanced over at her and couldn't help but say something.
Keyakku: What's the matter, Yukiko? Don't you like electricity?
Yukiko: Electricity, half water demon. Electricity, half water demon. We don't mix!
Touya was tired, most would be too if you were fighting two strength demons for half an hour. Touya didn't realize that Pong snuck behind him and gave him a whirlwind of a punch, sending him flying towards the stadium floor, crashing and making a huge crater. Touya's body lied at the bottom of it.
Juri: And that's the match, everyone! Ping and Pong win!
Yukiko practically sprinted for Touya at the bottom of the ten foot deep crater, to see Ping standing over him. Yukiko's voice grew dark.
Yukiko: You touch him, I…kill…you.
Ping threw his body out of the crater.
Ping: I just touched him.
She had said it slyly. At this point, Yukiko went to retrieve Touya's body. She jumped out of the gaping hold in the ground and landed next to him.
Yukiko's thoughts: Touya, you're such a dork. But you're my dork.
Yukiko placed him on the bench as Keyakku helped with the medical stuff.
Yukiko: How long will he be out?
Keyakku: Shouldn't be too long. I mean, he wouldn't want to keep his little snow child waiting.
She started to make kissing noises as if she were six. That's it. The two girls took off their gloves.
Yukiko: Bite me!
Keyakku: No, that's Paco's job to bite people!
Yukiko: I'm talking about what you say to Jin. I'm sure you love his fangs sinking into your skin.
Keyakku: Damn right, I do!
There was a silence until the two girls fell to the ground, laughing so hard that they were crying. Jin saw only the tears and flew down, only to find they were just regaining their breath from laughing.
Jin: What'd I miss, lassies?
Keyakku and Yukiko looked at each other only to start their giggle fit all over again.
Touya: Jin, did you try to be gangster again?
Jin: Yo, dog, why you gettin' up in my grill.
Paco: Never again, Jin. The Irish accent doesn't cut it.
For the first second you saw Touya standing, the next he was glomped by Yukiko, knocking him on his back to the ground.
Yukiko: Touya, you're not dead!
Touya: That wouldn't kill me, but you on the other hand…
Paco: Hey, you two, cut that out. At least, take it somewhere private.
Keyakku: Touya looks like you'll have a little competition for dominance.
Yukiko: Damn straight. But I'm waiting until I'm married to go that far.
Everyone regained their composure and awaited the next match.
Keyakku: I really hope there are no emo demons here.
As if on cue, a black cluster of demons wearing dark eyeliner and nail polish was able to be seen. They were in the corner, cutting themselves. Keyakku's eye twitched, she spoke in one word sentences. The area was overrun with kanji for 'My life sucks', scattered.
Keyakku: Oh. My. God. Yukiko. Get. The. Anti-emo. Soap.
Yukiko threw a super soaker filled with this 'Anti-emo soap' from out of her seemingly small pocket. Dramatically flying slowly through the air, Keyakku reached up and grabbed the super soaker, which was bigger than her own arm's length. Spinning around and somehow changing into a white, tank top, a camouflage skirt with a pair of black shorts underneath, combat boots and a flowing white headband with assorted accessories.
Keyakku: (cocking the gun) Let's go Emos. Bring it on! With all your 'my life sucks' kanji!